The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living
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Also I have picked up new hobbies and began old hobbies again in a fresh way to help with the replacement of space alcohol took. I have the energy to do these things most of the time. I am making new friends and trying new things as well. Many things I do on my own, if I invite people and they can't go. Before I would not go as I was scared and self conscious. Lately I am doing library events and hitting knitting stores to learn how to knit a dress to wear when I reach my goal. Some cool fashion out there now to knit. I haven't knitted a lot, so this is a new adventure. It has been scary, but I am usually proud of myself somehow for moving ahead. One of my goals is to try parasailing once I have reached my weight goal. My esteem of myself is increasing and I am gaining confidence. Beats drinking to forget and lying blacked out finally every day. Now I cry if I need to, talk it out and for me, pray in order to figure out all my life one day at a time. Creating good fun!!4
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@RubyRed427 my husband took a few months but even with 5 years of sobriety, he had days where he wished he could be "normal"
i told him it's normal to have an allergy. some people have to avoid shellfish or peanuts. he just had to avoid alcohol. yes, they can't have somethings, but better to not have them than risk their life. imho
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Doing some self-reflection. My tiptoe towards sobriety came after this sequence:
- learning my dad was ill and rearranging my life so I could be with him for treatments for a week at a time, every third week, for 6 months
- helping my dad in the final stages of his life, until the end, with as much grace and joy as I could muster (which was not difficult because he was a downright lovely human: respectful and kind and funny)
- telling my husband I want a divorce
- buying a house
- telling my children that I wouldn't live at the old house anymore (one of the saddest events of my life)
- moving into said house (after a few months) and slowly transitioning self and kids to our 2-house life (which is going surprisingly well! Everyone is happier and we spend tons of quality time together as a family and I no longer have to endure the emotional pain on the daily.)
For about a year after that sequence, while I said I was "fine!", and I even ramped up my physical activity, I got to work 99% of the time, I met a couple nice guys, I went to see some fun shows, and I was drinking excessively and couldn't really see it. It took a double-whammy week (2 bad hangovers in 1 week that required some ativan - good lord! What a mess!), plus a few months of "I've got to stop doing this" before I said... "Whoa. I think I have a drinking problem."
Now, I go hiking every other weekend with a hiking meet-up group to fill my child-free time. I work on my house. I'm super happy to be single and not really actively seeking a partner. I still see some friends but in a different context now (we go to dinner or go on walks instead of potluck/party/drink). Some friends I don't see as often because they are spiraling towards a place that's not good, and I'm not the savior type, and it's hard to watch. I work with some pretty great people so that's fabulous. All in all, life is so much better without the fog/illnesses/excuses I was experiencing before. Now... if I could just up my running time to faster than an 11-minute mile!6 -
^^ thank you for sharing this. I really needed to read some inspiration.1
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My test of sobriety will come this Saturday.. Going out with a few couple's.. I'm sure I will want a glass of wine..2
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Bellavita32 wrote: »My test of sobriety will come this Saturday.. Going out with a few couple's.. I'm sure I will want a glass of wine..
Try to hold off! Maybe cheesecake instead? Lol... maybe the same caloric content (but IDK, I'm not a fan of calorie counting). Maybe a brisk walk to a local boutique? Maybe a brisk walk to the ladies room where you can spend a few minutes centering yourself and gathering your strength.2 -
Hi all, I’ve been AF for almost 5 years, feel so much better for it, was overweight, unhappy and short tempered, in the last 2 years I’ve started exercise which i love, which most certainly makes me feel good and a positive outlook , I take care of myself and am able to be there for my wife and daughter , took me a huge mindset shift to change my ways and to be happy living AF6
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Hardest day yet today.
Had a big problem at work and I just wanted so bad to come home and drink and sleep.
9 p.m. extremely difficult even now. Feeling very low.
Thanks for letting me vent4 -
Your passage was very inspiring and insightful! Thanks so much for taking the time to write your thoughts ; it really gives me such hope. Xo
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Day four today. I have been reading all your posts since Monday morning when I woke up once again after an evening of drinking, alone, in front of my family, a whole bottle of wine and then turning to Baileys for dessert. Ugh...I have got to stop this cycle of drinking most nights. I just have no power for moderation. I haven’t even really wanted a drink until tonight. I really enjoy lemonade with a splash (well, maybe a bit more than a splash😜) of sorbet vodka and thought about having one tonight...but just stuck with plain old lemonade- yeah me. I’m quite proud...I don’t remember the last time I wanted a drink and didn’t cave in. My plan right now, is to be AF until Halloween as hubby and I have a three day get away planned. I will re-evaluate when the time gets closer as to whether or not I will drink while away. I think it’s mostly a mindset for me as I don’t have trouble abstaining at work functions or at school functions- I just never drink at either even though almost everyone else is. Anyhow, hello to you all. I find each of you and your courage inspiring, your advice valuable- I’m learning so much.4
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@Kiki9871 Welcome and thanks for joining us! I can certainly relate to most of what you said. It's frustrating for some of us to try to moderate, I always seemed to wake up so disappointed in myself for not having that ability. Just not drinking takes up much less head space for me, so that is my aim. Congrats on your Day 4!2
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@Kiki9871 ... day 4 is a great start. I'm on day 18 !! Let's stick it out as best we can at least through sober october.
I cant sleep. Stressed... sad ... but determined. My life will be better than this one day. I just have to stay committed to the positive changes I am making.10 -
SO inspiring to hear everyone struggles & successes...even IF at this point it is only a struggle that is a very good thing because struggling means we are still putting up a fight to stay sober & healthier for sure. It is totally worth the fight!!!
My niece has been sober 10 days today & is quite pumped about being able to go this long without a drink. Her goal is toward the end of the month when she hosts her daughter's engagement party. ANY amount of sobriety contributes to health & proves that we DO have control.
Success is also sharing our raw, difficult feelings and I am so grateful that everyone here has the courage to do that. Thank you for helping me to stay sober3 -
@Kiki9871 ... day 4 is a great start. I'm on day 18 !! Let's stick it out as best we can at least through sober october.
I cant sleep. Stressed... sad ... but determined. My life will be better than this one day. I just have to stay committed to the positive changes I am making.
Oh, man. I'm so sorry. I PM'ed you. But hey, today is a new day. It is a chance for most things to go well, and likely some things not as planned. Let's think of it as a challenge and can we rise to it? I bet you can.
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@Kiki9871 ... day 4 is a great start. I'm on day 18 !! Let's stick it out as best we can at least through sober october.
I cant sleep. Stressed... sad ... but determined. My life will be better than this one day. I just have to stay committed to the positive changes I am making.
How's the baby doing? Better I hope,everyone sounds good,I feel ok but a bit restless at times,seems thinking about not drinking keeps it on my mind ALL the time! I'm over it,don't want to count days,don't want to acknowledge triggers,just want to be done for good...hope everyone enjoys their day1 -
@joha5603 ... I never got a msg : /
@whitpauly ...the last few days he seems 100%. Thanks for asking. Still red skinned, but no more blisters and his is mood is back to normal.
And I am on day 19 which means i made it through the night.
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@73CL350 ... oh goodness, he's adorable! Glad to hear he's on the mend. Nothing worse than when our children hurt! So hey... you just made it through some tough stuff! It looks like he's teething too. If you can make it through the last week, I think you can get through a lot. I think you need to give yourself some credit now, some kindness, some tenderness. You're doing great.
The PM was through the email system. I'm new to this so maybe I messed it up.
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@73CL350 ... of good lord, he's adorable! So glad to hear he's on the mend. It's horrible when our babies are hurting.
So think of this: you've made it through some SUPER TOUGH stuff the last few weeks. If you can endure that, you can endure anything. Give yourself some credit, some kindness, some tenderness and grace. Pat yourself on the back and examine how well you're doing. Breath and gather your strength. You're doing great.
I PM'ed thru the other messaging system (via the envelope icon?), but I'm pretty new to this so maybe I messed it up. In any case, be well.
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