We broke up because...
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Would look at her watch during our sexy time, roll her eyes, and say "you're late".0
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Would notice people’s watches...0
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Because he didn't believe in my majestic nature.0
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Because seriously. Just seriously.0
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Because I’m the black sheep...0
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Because he was given away all the wool
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She couldn't stand my wool sweaters0
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I caught her kissing a man0
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She didnt like my whip cream fetish 😂0
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I listened to the Pixies while she preferred Green Day...0
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He couldn't look me in the face always turned to the side!0
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He was always getting in my face0
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He said A-Roid was better than Nomar!0
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Although I appreciated the fact that he thought outside the box, he frowned upon the fact that I thought outside the trapezoid...0
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He was so technical all the time0
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She told me we were dating until something better came along!0
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Something better came along.0
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We had a baby and Maury said it wasn't mine!0
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That baby wasn't mine, either!0
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She kidnapped a baby so she wouldn't gain weight being pregnant!0
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Of irreconcilable similarities...0
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He wanted to be me...like the chick in Single White Female0
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I caught her squating over another gym member she said she was spotting but not buying it!0
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During adverse situations he too often referred to his go-to phrase, “It is what it is” and inevitably it WAS what it WAS...0
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He was too philosophical0
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While he exceeded my expectations, I confirmed his trepidation...0
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We were having a deep discussion about our future and he just turned his back to me!0
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He already had a boyfriend and he couldn't let him go0
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In terms of toilet paper placement, she preferred “under” while I was team “over”...1
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He wasn't well versed in thermodynamic theory0
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