JUST GIVE ME 10 DAYS - ROUND 61

Coming back after an extended break. I'll hop in this round, but I'm mainly just realistically hoping to maintain - a birthday for my middle son, a certain monthly event :P , and a holiday party are all during this round, which makes the downward trek tough. But I'm in a good enough headspace at the moment where simply maintaining won't make me get down on my progress (or lack of).

Female, 39, 5'5"
Starting weight: 167.5 (April 2018)
Current weight: 150.8
Ultimate goal: 135 (ish. May end higher if I get some muscle.)

12/04 - 150.8
12/05 - 150
12/06 - 151
12/07 - 151.4 (was definitely under the past two days, but started my period today, so this jump up is typical for me and generally resolves in a few days.)
12/08 - 151.4
12/09 - 150.6 (surprising considering last night was the holiday party. Maybe I managed to eat well portion-wise after all.)
12/10 - 149.6 (totally shocked as we had middle one's birthday treat - peanut butter pie - last night and I had a rather lazy day in general. But it's also the typical time cycle-wise that my weight goes back to what it would have been, so maybe it's all that. Or maybe the pie will sneak up on me tomorrow instead. lol)
12/11 - 149.8 (I'll totally take it. We ate out last night and also finished up the rest of the birthday pie, so I didn't expect there to be a loss. Happy to see it's just teeny fluctuation.)
12/12 - 150.6 (No surprise here. I had totally sodium-laden fast food AND a soda last night, on a day when I didn't really "make room" for it. We ran out of protein bars here at home and I find when I have less protein I feel like I'm hungrier.. and my choices tend to suffer for it.)
12/13 - 150.6 (Not fab, not bad.. but overall I did meet my goal of maintaining for these 10 days, so I'll take it! The next couple weeks will be tough ones as well while all the holiday stuff passes. I'll be super happy when sub-150 is the typical rather than the surprise. So close.. it's gonna happen soon. )

GrandmaJackie wrote: »

@aFit50, congratulation on your 5 pound loss this round, woot hoot!

Sorry everyone, I misspoke .... 3.8 pounds this round, 5.4 total in the past 18 days

I'm sure its just a blip @tiabirdie56 and thanks!! Only 18 days and 3 weekends left to get through, lol ~ believing we can all finish the month on a high note 💪💪💪💪

My name is Jen. I’ve been sitting at the low 200s for a while now trying everything to get my weight to budge. A great MFP friend suggested this group and so far it’s helping! The weight is still moving at a snails pace but at least it’s moving!

Round 56 SW - 207.4 EW - 206.8
Round 57 SW - 206.6 EW - 205.6
Round 58 SW - 205.6 EW - 206.2
Round 59 SW - 206.2 EW - 205.2
Round 60 SW - 205.2 EW - 205.8

12/3 - 205.8
12/4 - 205.4 - followed my eating plan, and no snacking after supper really helped. Need to drink more water today
12/5 - 205.4
12/6 - did not weigh
12/7 - 205.4
12/8 - 205.8. Happy with this after a day of no tracking.
12/9 - 207. We hosted a Christmas party last night. I didn’t overindulge but probably had more bad things than good. Lots of water today and tomorrow!
12/10 - 207.8
12/11 - 207 - I’ve been fighting a bad cold for over a week now so have lost all of my focus. I really need to get back to basics and will try my best to get a plan going.
12/12 - 205.6. Well I guess that’s what happens when you get back to basics. When for a couple of walks yesterday, drank my water and ate sensibly. Now to keep that going...
12/13 - 205.6

R60 SW: 219.7 EW: 217.1 AW: 218.3

Goal: Stay focused on my elimination diet

Day/Weight/Comment
12/04--217.1
12/05--217.3
12/06--217.5
12/07--217.3
12/08--216.4 First time posting this round, but I was weighing. I was sick for a couple of days and not doing much. Going to my meeting this morning with the nutritionist since I started the elimination diet. She wants to review my food journal. When I was sick I realized how much I crave carbs for comfort...that was really difficult.
12/09--216.4 Great meeting with the nutritionist. She was impressed with my progress so far and was really encouraging. However, she did slap my hand for my inconsistent excercising, so that is what I am working on now. Based on reviewing my food journal, she thinks it may be the gluten and not the milk/eggs that are my problem. I will be seeing her in 2 weeks and then we should be starting to reintroduce some foods. Went to the gym this morning and plan on doing some cleaning and trying a new beef stew recipe.
12/10--216.7 I really need to work on getting my water in on the weekends. I think if I fill up a water container first thing in the morning, just like I do at work, I will have a visual reminder of needing to drink water. I was planning on trying an exercise class at my gym this evening, but I remembered that my football team is playing in MNF, so instead I will take the dog out for a long walk. I am going to aim for 3 miles.
12/11--217.5 I am very excited that I actually went out for a 3 mile walk in the cold and dark yesterday. Even though I was ready to stop at about 2 miles, my dog was also over it at that point, I pushed myself and finished up the last mile. It felt really good. Of course, when I went home I ate more than I should have, but I was still near my calorie goal for the day. I went to the gym this morning and tonight, with my husband out of the house, I plan to spend a relaxing evening watching some tv and hanging out with the dog.
12/12--217.5 Woke up feeling heavy, so not surprised about the number on the scale. Eating is going well, I'm expanding the types of foods that I'm eating and it's definitely gotten easier. I'm still working on making sure that I get enough fat and fiber in my diet. Yoga tonight.
12/13--217.3

Success: Elimination diet getting easier.
Challenges: Getting my water in

R61 SW: 217.1 EW: 217.3 AW: 217.1 (-1.2)

/04: Ready for a new healthy start, Steps are back up 10,000+.
12/05- went for a good walk today, the sun felt so good. steps 10,700
12/06- Trying to get over 10,000 steps, today it was snow I just had to dress warm and go.
12/07-I fell asleep on the couch last night, grandson never completely recovered from his cough back to the doctors and chest x-ray which was clear. We watched both grand children while their parents worked during the afternoon we did Christmas crafts. Back to walking steps today.
12/08- Planned meals for next week, bought lots of vegetables and fruit.
12/09- watching what I`m eating, I use to say no thank-you. a lot. Lots of vegetables and chicken today.
12/10- Trying to eat healthier, and exercise too.
12/11- Having a great week steps over 10,000 + daily, eating healthy lots of fruits and vegetables.
12/12- went to the doctor had trouble with my breathing , still passed 10,000+ I went downstairs on my treadmill and kept going until I reached my steps.
12/13- Sick, super bad cough and is making my breathing very weasy but I still did 0ver 10,000 steps!

@eatingfoodles 4.4 lbs is excellent for 10 days!!! Congrats!

Female, 5' 4 1/2 " age 53
This is my eigth round. I am thinking this is the perfect way to move through December, with mini-goals, support and comraderie. I would love to be at 155 by Christmas but will be happy just being solidly in the 150s! Let's make this a month of mindful celebrations taking time to appreciate our loved ones, our health, and our progress on this journey!


OSW 199 (June 15 2018)
Pre-challenge start weight 177
R54 SW 177 EW 175 (-2.0)
R55 SW 175 EW 171 (-4.0)
R56 SW 171 EW 170.5 (-0.5)
R57 SW 170.5 EW 169.5 (-1.0)
R58 SW 169.5 EW 166.5 (-3.0)
R59 SW 166.5 EW 164 (-2.5)
R60 SW 164 EW 159.5 (-4.5)
R61 SW 159.5 EW 159.5 (0.0)

CW 159.5
RGW 158

Goals--
Carbs < 40-
Steps/day > 12000
Exercise/walk 6 of 7 days/week

Day/Weight/Comment
12/04 -- 160 -- A bump up...but a small one. I ate well and exercised well and posted a big loss last round, so I am not going to let this bother me. NSV -- Yesterday friends invited me to hike with them. I really enjoy walking in the woods, and the company....but in order to make sure I got my exercise in I snuck out for a fast 4 mile walk through the neighborhood before meeting them at 9. So glad that that was my inclination, rather than just writing it off for the day!

12/05 -- 158 -- Now that was a big drop! Fasted until dinner....but then I ate a big portion of salmon and veggies and made myself a LC cake. My energy levels were great all day too!

12/06 -- 161 -- Wow! That's crazy. I'm all over the place this round. Possibly I hallucinated yesterday's scale reading. I also was lightheaded in the morning, so had several cups of broth and then had Chinese for dinner, so maybe I overdid it on the sodium. I will drink lots of water today. We shall see! NSV--I'm not freaking out in the least over the scale this morning, nor is it ruining my day!
12/07 -- 160.5 -- A little better. Skipped the walk yesterday and did a lot of raking leaves. My son helped when he got home from school for 30 minutes, so that I could dash off and catch 45 minutes of zumba. I don't know if he was being sweet when he asked me when I had to leave, or whether he was just trying to have us be done in the yard more quickly!

12/08 -- 158.5 -- I looked at my weight graph and realized this weirdness shouldn't surprise me, as this is what it always does! Drops down, then pops back up for a couple days before continuing down.
12/09 -- 158.5 -- Happy this number stuck around. Bacon & omeletter for breakfast and then dinner party last night. I indulged in some scallopped potatoes, slice of bread and chocolate cake. Mostly back to being good today.

12/10 -- 158.5 -- Slightly indulgent and carby day yesterday. Glad this number is holding.

12/11 -- 158.5 -- Christmas Brunch & carbs with friends this morning. Time to start drinking lots of water!
12/12 -- 160 -- Not surprised. Did not overdo it at the Christmas Brunch...I waited until I got home and had just one more scone several times. They were good though! I still was 300 in the green, but I think the carbs didn't help. Hopefully, I'm back to start weight or lower tomorrow...but otherwise it will come off next round!

12/13 -- 159.5 -- Back to the beginning....But at least not up. And last round ended super low...See you next round!

No change.

GOALS
Keto on!
Explore a couple of vegan keto recipes
Complete Stage 1 of Shed & Shred 4+ days/ week
Take my hormone/ bc pills like it's my religion lol

During Round 1, went from 245-240ish. I use an analogue scale, so exact numbers aren't available. I have suffered with eating disorders so pulling my hair out over less than 2 lbs difference isn't healthy for me. As such, as with last round, I'm only posting my weight on days 1, 5, and 10.

Weight Notes of Interest

Highest Weight: 275 (years ago, culinary school, eating constantly)
Highest Weight Past 5 Years: 265
Highest Weight This Year: 255
Lowest Weight Past 10 Years: 235

Current Weight: 240ish
Soft Goal Weight: 175 (out of obese bmi with wiggle room)
Hopeful Goal Weight: 150

Day/Comment

12/04
Weight is 241 today. BUT... I took some pants out of the closet. We're talking pants I've never worn because they've never fit. But I could button them and zip them and didn't have to INHALE AND SUCK IN. They weren't comfy yet, but I anticipate by the end of this round, I'll be wearing them. These are pants I bought last time I was doing lots of cardio because they were just a hair too small then, I loved them, and they were the last pair the store had. I anticipated getting into them, but never did. I will, though!

12/05
I bought a new Jillian Michaels video on amazon today (Banish Fat, something something, it's the top result on Amazon if you punch in her name), because I just could not even touch Shed & Shred this morning. I thought, maybe it's because my legs don't wanna do these EXACT moves again so soon. And I was right to a degree, but I stopped after 20 minutes. I needed some recovery today. But I think I'm getting a little addicted to getting my heart rate up, hah. I just FEEL better when I do some hard cardio and didn't wanna skip getting SOME, at least. So, I watched through the rest of the video and totally worth the very cheap $7. I can do all of those moves from my room... unlike Shed & Shred, the second half of which would require me to do moves that I just don't have the space to do.

After that, pretty much cooked all evening. I made cauliflower pizza and quiche and ribs, for the next several days. Cauliflower crust was too many carbs and not a good enough texture for so much EFFORT, dang. It didn't even hold up as a pizza crust, just sorta mushy, and I drained the crap out of it. Maybe I'll just buy cauliflower crust from Trader Joes. Those actually work fine. But note to self: Don't basically go and process a vegetable to remove all its water and then expect the carb counts to be good/ for it to be filling. Just because you did it at home doesn't mean it isn't processed. I would have been much more satisfied with butter fried cauliflower, a soft boiled egg, all with a cream sauce and the same toppings as the pizza. And wouldn't have effectively turned a whole head of cauliflower into one cup of unfilling substance.

I also had to go and make myself a cream tea and eat a couple of fat bombs after pizza. Was NOT enough fat on there even drowned in cheese. Fat bombs filled me up, though. At 1400 calories as of writing this. I've had a 1700 calorie goal this whole time and haven't hit it the past couple days. Don't know if this is good or worrying to be having 200-300 calories less than goal.

Have a good evening everyone!

12/06
I weighed myself this morning after a lot of night time bathroom trips again. More water weight coming off. I'm not posting a new weight until day 5, though. Been a bit of an emotional day. I probably won't go on a prolonged blah blah about my food, because it's 4PM and I haven't even eaten yet. I did get 25 minutes of the Banish Fat workout, though. A few minutes more than last time. That seems to be what happens every time I go into a new workout. I do a little more every time until my body is used to the full set. This one might take more than a few rounds, though. This video is divided into circuits and I did three circuits today. Tomorrow I'll either see if I can do four, or see if my body will agree to Shed & Shred again. Banish Fat isn't as hard on my lower body, in terms of muscle strain, but DAMN, that cardio is intense.

What I do wanna write about is how weird it is to see a muscle in my neck. I don't know how to deal with this. There's something and I know people can go through it with weight changes, and it's really weird to me. Even though I'd rather be thinner and feel as good as I'm starting to feel, it still seems a little like, when I look in the mirror, there is an alien in it, doing a REALLY good impression of me. But isn't getting it quite right. The alien is a little too lean. Things have changed. I have identity issues from childhood trauma, so this is pretty big for me. But I'm not going to let it stop me this time. I do think it affected me last time, and the reason it was detrimental, wasn't that it happened, but because I never spoke of it.

Guys, I'm really happy I'm losing weight, and I feel good, but the mirror is really strange right now. Does anyone else feel like this? Can we be friends?

12/07

AaaaaaaaAAAAA.

I was doing great today, and then I was in a hurry. I grabbed, at a gas station, what I thought was a diet soda. But my hand went slightly to one side and got the wrong one. I ended up having about 8 oz of regular soda, while doing keto. Dammit.

But I did Shed & Shred today. AND I made this amazing keto porridge that has 1 net carb. So breakfast was practically nothing. 2 carb breakfast total! And if I feel hungry later, I can have some more of it and not sweat things. I have had 32 net today, with the soda. Everything else was totally in line. I might end up with 40 net carbs by the end of tonight, because I'm playing a game with friends, and will be up late. I'm disappointed, but not gonna let this little bump depress or stop me. Just want to remind myself not to be too upset if tomorrow's weight isn't good, and if the next couple of days require a few more calories, to keep food cravings manageable. But I'm hoping ketosis survives the small bump. I have hardly had 1000 calories today yet, so my body'll probably use the sugars right away. I was also annoyed to find that my keto strips was just an empty box. Where did I put the actual strips!? Hah! I wasn't using them. My smell after workouts made it pretty obvious that I was in ketosis. I'm just disappointed because I didn't do this on purpose. This wasn't me making a decision and deciding an indulgence was worth it. This was just an "in a hurry" mistake with a drink I am relatively unfamiliar with. I guess we'll see how tomorrow feels.

Grump.

12/08 (Post Weight)
12/09

12/10 241

What the deuce? I wrote this whole big long post yesterday, and it isn't here. I'm a little upset. Also upset about teetering back at 241ish, but this is why I don't go on the stupid dramatic roller coaster of weighing every single day. It's just not healthy for my emotional state. I can't imagine constantly looking at the scale and wondering why it goes up, down, up, down, or worse, stays the same over the course of a small handful of days.

So, reminder to myself. I'm going to keep eating a low sugar diet. The calories are gonna fluctuate. Sometimes they'll be high. Sometimes they'll be low. I had an 1100 calorie day the other day for no particular reason and yesterday, had like 2500 calories. Just like my average weight over time, one day, even one WEEK, has no bearing on my overall progress, even if it seems to.

We are doing very well and moving forward! Don't let the little ups and downs cause you to backslide into hopelessness.

Did Shed & Shred today. Early parts were really hard for some reason, but I had no trouble after warming up sufficiently. That just didn't happen in the time I was doing the "warmup" portion, lol. Maybe I should start my workouts with 15 minutes of very low impact, like some older videos, before they figured out intermediate heart rate stuff wasn't actually that great in terms of exercise advice. Get a warmup for my warmup. Burn a few more calories. Heh.

12/11

My dad coded at the hospital today.

Before you guys get all, "I'm so sorry", this was an abusive man who was responsible for much of the psychological damage that drove me to twenty years of depression and a few other mental disorders (dissociative) which it has taken me into my 30's to get enough education about, to even begin getting help.

I am a little upset, though. I have intentionally avoided talking to him for ten years, at least. Not a word exchanged. But my sister's upset and sent me a message to say he loved me "no matter what happened". And I had to really fight myself not to chew her out a little. She seems to be under the impression that the rift between us had anything to do with the student loan he agreed to pay before I stopped talking to him; and then he tried to abuse and manipulate me to pay later, because I finally found the self-respect and self-love and therapy to cut him out of my life. But my mom divorced him when I was a teen, and my sister is six years younger than me.

I'm pretty sure my sister doesn't really get to remember having to live with him, day after day, as a monster. She doesn't remember him occasionally just not showing up home with no explanation, or the illegitimate kid he had with some other woman that he proceeded to shame my mother with by dragging him, as an infant, to the family Christmas of my father's side of the family, as a "godson", or the way he blamed everything that went wrong on my mother, how he never made any effort to connect to her at all, or all of the littler things that he said and did. By the time they were divorced, he was hardly around anymore, and my sister would have been, at the most, ten.

So she got a lot more of the father that pretended to be nice, because he was around other people. He always acted nice around his extended family, friends, and so on, any time out in public. But in private, me and my mom in particular were f---ing punching bags. He was a coward who only cowed and abused people who couldn't or wouldn't lash back at him. She thinks he is that exterior, but he is actually a horrible person. He won't get therapy or help, and never would, and that violence is always lurking under the facade. Anyone can act nice for a few hours. That doesn't make them good. She doesn't realize that. My father, since around the time of the divorce, moved in with one of his mistresses. They've stayed together, but at some point over the years, that mistress confided in my mother that she'd gotten the brunt end of this garbage, too, and she extended my mother an apology. That she understood now. I can't fathom why she kept him around, if she understood, but I guess battered wife syndrome is a thing.

But I think that my sister's comment was about her, and not me. I don't know why she thinks it's important that I think he loved me. I mean, I know he didn't, because love is as much an act as a feeling, and on top of that, he has never really known me, much less NOW, when we haven't talked in ten years. Perhaps she just wants someone to commiserate with and feels like she needs someone to mourn with her. I desperately wish that it could be me, but it just can't be.

I wish that my sister and whoever else has misguided affections for him didn't have to suffer. But they say one of the biggest things that people who have been abused have to learn, is that abuse and love do not co-exist. They cannot. You can't love someone and intentionally or through egregious neglect, hurt them. That is not what love is. Like I said, love isn't feelings alone, but also actions. I have learned that lesson, and I'm not going to backpedal because he's dying. Self-love comes first, and the version of me who loves herself, can not possibly love him.

Ultimately, he is a black-souled demon, and if he is on his way back to hell, then the world will be a much brighter place.

If you read all this, thank you for letting me vent. I didn't wanna let it out on my sister, who probably can't handle it right now. But it had to come out, bad.

Days before today under the spoiler

12/12 239/240

Thank you to everyone for all of the hugs yesterday.

I know it's just a little button, but it was so nice just knowing that many people saw it and understood. Like a tiny internet pat on the back.

Today I'm trying to get back into things, but I'm having some female issues. It's probably PMS, but hard to say because my hormones aren't great. I have to take pills to keep things stable, and things... well, let's say they fluctuate far more than a normal woman, and this isn't like typical menopause stuff or anything, this has been this way always. And I'm not quite in menopause age range yet. (Roughly another decade before I gotta worry about that.)

But yeah, I feel really cranky and depressed the past couple of days, along with some light headedness (this happens to me sometimes during PMS) and so I'm PRETTY sure I'm gonna have a period. But with how my body is, I don't know for sure, 100%. Sometimes that's just how life is, and maybe things have really just been kinda garbage. Like today, the elderly lady that I live with (I rent a room in a house), got this huge hair up her butt about this one particular 1/4 measure. It is a white plastic cup measure, and there are THREE 1/4 cup measures in the cabinet. But she literally nagged and whined all day because she could not find this one particular cup. It was incredibly trying.

But like, she's one of those people who has always loved drama. She has always treated minor things as though they're catastrophic, and has gone on hysterical whining and temper tantrums over nothing, many times. And I can take it when she's flying off the handle because of an argument with a friend, or a bill was higher than she wanted it to be, or some junk, or she's bawling about some sad old movie. I can bite my tongue there, because yeah, it's definitely always an over-reaction, but it's still something that a person could actually be upset about. But once in a while it's something like THIS. Something so deeply trivial that you start to wonder if you're in the Matrix and the algorithms and programs got corrupted, because no sane person could possibly be this upset about something this extraordinarily trivial. This has to be a really bad alien simulation. This can not possibly be real life right now. Some foreign entity that doesn't understand humans is making this up off the seat of their pants. Any of you guys Rick and Morty fans? I started looking for the damn poptart in a toaster car, over here.

Anyway. I'm back down to 239/ 240. I decided to stop counting my calories or thinking of them too hard before I eat. I know by now which foods are keto and which aren't, and where the carbs come from. Need to be mindful not to eat too much dairy or meat, but beyond that, all the fat, veggies, flax and chia I want. I ate one time today and it was 950 calories. This makes a good point to my mind. I lost a 5 lbs in those first ten days, during round 60. This round, I started logging and trying to restrict my meals, and never hit that wonderful satiety that keto is known for and... suddenly, no weight loss, lots of really borderline days, and even a couple over 2000 calories. So I WILL log things, but I will NOT look at what the calories are before I've made myself a nice meal, and eaten to satiety, when I am hungry. If it's an 1100 calorie meal, but it lasts me all day, that's way better than three 600 calorie meals, NONE of which make me feel satisfied. I will take a deep breath and see if I actually do a lot better when I don't pre-monitor the calories. I suspect that I do average a lot less calories eating once or twice a day, to satiety, than if I try to eat several smaller meals. But I need to be brave enough to let it happen. I'm going to try.

12/13 242

Definitely some fluid retention going on, obviously I didn't gain three real pounds overnight, snrk.

I went to a work-related Christmas party with a friend. I got a prize of a Fire 8 tablet. It was a catered steak/ fried catfish/ obligatory chicken breast dinner, but like one of those nicer buffets (similar to weddings and such). I had steak... a lot of steak, veggies, salad. I thought I'd blown all of my calories, but thanks to the hour of cardio I did today, trying out new workout videos (was a fun way to do it, lots of interesting dance things!) I just about broke even.

I wasn't going to sweat this. Parties are for letting go. Just because I have adopted a new lifestyle doesn't mean that I need to be that whiner that's at the party, not enjoying myself because I'm nitpicking the food to fit my diet. Holidays, and real, actual parties are times of indulgence. That is when a normal, healthy person, lets themselves off the leash. So I did this on purpose, because I endeavor to be a normal, healthy person. Didn't break keto, but that wasn't even an issue. Steak is delicious. So's broccoli full of butter. I had a teaspoon sized bite of cake (I logged it as 1/2 tsp of sugar, because cake's about half fat) and felt like a sugar factory exploded in my face. I made this really shocked expression, and my friend who brought me to the party seemed very troubled! He thought something was VERY wrong with the cake for a minute. So I told him the "sugar factory exploded in my face" thing, and he was very relieved. Palette resets are interesting, hahaha. I honestly don't even know if I'm gonna want food that sweet anymore, after I've been doing this for a while. My lightly sucralose sweetened flax brownies are definitely not that sweet.

I'm eager for round 62. I think the "don't count the calories until you've eaten all you need" thing is gonna pay off. It's what I did today and yesterday, and my body seemed to naturally adjust to want an extra amount of food, proportionate to how much cardio I got. I'm okay with that, because while I want a thinner body, I also want a BETTER body, and I know that sometimes might mean I'm putting on muscles. My weight might not change, but my body fat percentage certainly is. I'm down a pants size and nearly a shirt size (just a liiiittle more). That is fine.

Straight up you guys, my legs are hard as rocks now, everywhere but the inner thigh and outer hip. That'll take a lot more weight loss before that firms up, because, you know, female. But I'm looking forward to that!