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From your other posts I can see that you are passionate about health nutrition and fitness. You have some strict rules and protocols for yourself. This is fine, it is keeping you focused and on track to your goals. Others who are not so focused that way are bound to notice these behaviours and being human will make comments/jokes that is just what people do.
The question is how are you going to deal with it. My suggestion is to just stare at them while sloooowly pushing large amounts of the food in question into your mouth. Then chew it with your mouth open. They will soon go away.
Seriously though, these comments can be annoying but at the end of the day is it going to harm your progress? No. So keep doing what you do and just shrug them off.
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Can I touch you?2
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manderson27 wrote: »From your other posts I can see that you are passionate about health nutrition and fitness. You have some strict rules and protocols for yourself. This is fine, it is keeping you focused and on track to your goals. Others who are not so focused that way are bound to notice these behaviours and being human will make comments/jokes that is just what people do.
The question is how are you going to deal with it. My suggestion is to just stare at them while sloooowly pushing large amounts of the food in question into your mouth. Then chew it with your mouth open. They will soon go away.
Seriously though, these comments can be annoying but at the end of the day is it going to harm your progress? No. So keep doing what you do and just shrug them off.
The blank stare was going to be my suggestion. While slowly putting food in your mouth seems even better.
I find comments about what people eat rude and annoying. And yes I rarely know how to respond or even whether people are expecting a response.5 -
Ok, some decent responses, we've established that I'm being a whiny little *kitten* lately, I'm going to stop now. I see I've brought some some stuff on myself by not exactly being private about myeal prepped thing.
I still have 1 question though - why is it socially acceptable to comment on "healthier" choices or "healthier" peoples cheats (I know there's such thing as healthy or unhealthy food its just a term) - and yet if those healthy people were to ever fire back with comments about an obese persons food, they'd be seen as rude? Personally I think both are kinda rude, but why is one of them perfectly ok in today's society and the other makes you a *kitten*?
This isn't a whine, its a legitimate question I have.2 -
In addition to what other posters have suggested, you mentioned in your posts on this thread that this physical and lifestyle change has only been happening for 8 - 9 months. That's a relatively short period of time for people to see that this is permanent for you. If I'm wrong on the timeline then I apologize but for now, yes, you're going to get unsolicited often dumb comments. Give it time. The comments will fade.4
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youcantflexcardio wrote: »Ok,
I still have 1 question though - why is it socially acceptable to comment on "healthier" choices or "healthier" peoples cheats (I know there's such thing as healthy or unhealthy food its just a term) - and yet if those healthy people were to ever fire back with comments about an obese persons food, they'd be seen as rude? Personally I think both are kinda rude, but why is one of them perfectly ok in today's society and the other makes you a *kitten*?
This isn't a whine, its a legitimate question I have.
I think both are extremely rude. My opinion is everybody should focus on what's in their plates. I think genuine questions are OK as they do invite a real discussion. But any type of compliment (what am, 5 year old)?) or criticism (who are you, my mother?) should be avoided.3 -
In addition to what other posters have suggested, you mentioned in your posts on this thread that this physical and lifestyle change has only been happening for 8 - 9 months. That's a relatively short period of time for people to see that this is permanent for you. If I'm wrong on the timeline then I apologize but for now, yes, you're going to get unsolicited often dumb comments. Give it time. The comments will fade.
It's kind of only been happening for 9 months. I did the whole fitness, lifting, and eating right thing for about 7 years straight, depression blah blah blah I took about 1.5 to 2 years off. I really just went back to what I always did. But I see your point.1 -
Unfriend them. Problem solved.0
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youcantflexcardio wrote: »Ok, some decent responses, we've established that I'm being a whiny little *kitten* lately, I'm going to stop now. I see I've brought some some stuff on myself by not exactly being private about myeal prepped thing.
I still have 1 question though - why is it socially acceptable to comment on "healthier" choices or "healthier" peoples cheats (I know there's such thing as healthy or unhealthy food its just a term) - and yet if those healthy people were to ever fire back with comments about an obese persons food, they'd be seen as rude? Personally I think both are kinda rude, but why is one of them perfectly ok in today's society and the other makes you a *kitten*?
This isn't a whine, its a legitimate question I have.
People *do* comment on what obese or overweight people eat. You may not personally do it, but I've seen it happen and heard from people that it has happened to. Some people see it as a kind of "tough love," others know they're making people feel bad and they don't care.
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youcantflexcardio wrote: »I still have 1 question though - why is it socially acceptable to comment on "healthier" choices or "healthier" peoples cheats (I know there's such thing as healthy or unhealthy food its just a term) - and yet if those healthy people were to ever fire back with comments about an obese persons food, they'd be seen as rude? Personally I think both are kinda rude, but why is one of them perfectly ok in today's society and the other makes you a *kitten*?
I find that if people (non jerks) comment on food it has nothing to do with whether the person eating it is in shape or not, or has a habit of healthy eating or not. It's usually about the food (and IMO uncommon other than "that looks tasty, what is it?"). Making actual rude comments about what someone else is eating IS considered rude, no matter who does it or who it's aimed at.
If someone does something out of character, people who have a friendly relationship with that person might joke about it. I used to always get fish at dinner and a friend would joke on the rare occasion I didn't. Another was a hater of a particular type of dish (braised meat of any kind), so when she ordered it we acted shocked. Stuff like that. I don't think that's a big deal, but if I have a complex about someone commenting on anything I ate I guess I'd say it made me feel uncomfortable and see if the person respected that (but can't imagine doing that myself).
I have a close friend who is a vegan, and some people make comments about what she's eating and not all the time, I'm sure it's irritating. She's been various levels of in shape and not and it hasn't affected that.2 -
youcantflexcardio wrote: »Ok, some decent responses, we've established that I'm being a whiny little *kitten* lately, I'm going to stop now. I see I've brought some some stuff on myself by not exactly being private about myeal prepped thing.
I still have 1 question though - why is it socially acceptable to comment on "healthier" choices or "healthier" peoples cheats (I know there's such thing as healthy or unhealthy food its just a term) - and yet if those healthy people were to ever fire back with comments about an obese persons food, they'd be seen as rude? Personally I think both are kinda rude, but why is one of them perfectly ok in today's society and the other makes you a *kitten*?
This isn't a whine, its a legitimate question I have.
Some of it, IMO, is that certain people will see it as OK to poke fun at someone about their new, healthier habits because healthier habits are perceived as a good and positive thing, so social teasing about it seems like jocular, friendly behavior to them. OTOH, teasing someone about things generally seen as unhealthy behaviors is more or less universally seen as a jerk move.
We see a lot of people here describe themselves, because they're overweight, as disgusting, ugly, of bad character because they can't resist eating and don't work out (weak, lazy, are among self-perceptions). Who would tease a person about something that so many people feel so very bad about already? Jerk move.
OTOH, I can't think of a case, here or real world, where someone's described themselves as a terrible, disgusting human being because they ate too nutritiously, or had an excellent physique, or were strong/fast/etc. because of working out. (It may happen, but it's sure not common. Every once in a while someone worries that they've become obsessed with diet/exercise in a negative way, but even that's kind of unusual.) Teasing someone about habits that they (and pretty much everyone else) perceive as positive . . . doesn't seem like a huge social transgression, to a lot of people.
That's true even if the teaser doesn't personally have those good habits, and the likelihood of the teasing may increase because when people feel uncomfortable, we often turn to humor to defuse the discomfort. You're getting thin and fit, a good thing. If your friends feel like they should be doing those good things, and aren't, that's the discomfort. Teasing you about your positive habit is a way to release that tension (I'm not saying it's a good way, BTW.)
If someone is truly worried about another's food/workout behavior, the non-jerk move is to talk to them one on one in a concerned, loving way. (Though in your case, the preceding posts suggest you do better if someone calls you out like a retired DI?)
BTW, one thing some of us are saying, that you don't seem to be picking up, is that whether you eye-roll or snap back at someone who says things you dislike, or do nothing at all externally, the anger spike, the stress, the blood pressure rise, are doing you no good at all, and may be long-term, in small ways, harmful to you. Controlling one's behavior is important. Controlling one's attitude - not hiding it, but learning to manage it productively from the inside, is a pretty good thing, too.15 -
I am diabetic and I will have commentary on what I eat the rest of my life. I get comments about medication, machines and food. You just have to remember not everyone can understand and either brush it off or help them understand. It's best not to get angry. You're doing this for you!3
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youcantflexcardio wrote: »Ok, some decent responses, we've established that I'm being a whiny little *kitten* lately, I'm going to stop now. I see I've brought some some stuff on myself by not exactly being private about myeal prepped thing.
I still have 1 question though - why is it socially acceptable to comment on "healthier" choices or "healthier" peoples cheats (I know there's such thing as healthy or unhealthy food its just a term) - and yet if those healthy people were to ever fire back with comments about an obese persons food, they'd be seen as rude? Personally I think both are kinda rude, but why is one of them perfectly ok in today's society and the other makes you a *kitten*?
This isn't a whine, its a legitimate question I have.
It's not ok as far as I'm concerned, but it happens regularly and I don't see it stopping anytime soon. I get comments regularly from my family because I'm the only person (immediate family and extended) that isn't overweight and who exercises regularly. No, I don't talk about it at all unless someone asks me a direct question.
I just follow the "treat others how you want to be treated" rule and I don't comment on their food choices. Comments about mine or how I spend my free time are ignored unless they are particularly rude or offensive. Then I speak up immediately. I don't care about hurting feelings if they are being hurtful to me first.2 -
youcantflexcardio wrote: »Ok, some decent responses, we've established that I'm being a whiny little *kitten* lately, I'm going to stop now. I see I've brought some some stuff on myself by not exactly being private about myeal prepped thing.
I still have 1 question though - why is it socially acceptable to comment on "healthier" choices or "healthier" peoples cheats (I know there's such thing as healthy or unhealthy food its just a term) - and yet if those healthy people were to ever fire back with comments about an obese persons food, they'd be seen as rude? Personally I think both are kinda rude, but why is one of them perfectly ok in today's society and the other makes you a *kitten*?
This isn't a whine, its a legitimate question I have.
It is rude to make unsolicited negative comments on another person's food or give unsolicted advice no matter the person's level of weight, health or fitness. People do make negative comments to obese people about their food or exercise often.
If someone is being rude you can ignore them, explain to them they are being rude/offensive or respond in kind with rude comments of your own.
.You seem very sensitive and defensive about certain things. Some people like to push other people's buttons. The more reaction you give the happier they will probably be.
I was taught simple rules like do unto others as you would have done unto you and two wrongs don't make a right. It is a fair guideline still for social interactions.1 -
Echoing OP, I've found the phrase "I do what I want" to be my favorite retort. You can use it in response to almost anything. Anyone who criticizes your choices doesn't understand what you're doing--and I personally prefer not to have to explain it.2
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youcantflexcardio wrote: »Ok, some decent responses, we've established that I'm being a whiny little *kitten* lately, I'm going to stop now. I see I've brought some some stuff on myself by not exactly being private about myeal prepped thing.
I still have 1 question though - why is it socially acceptable to comment on "healthier" choices or "healthier" peoples cheats (I know there's such thing as healthy or unhealthy food its just a term) - and yet if those healthy people were to ever fire back with comments about an obese persons food, they'd be seen as rude? Personally I think both are kinda rude, but why is one of them perfectly ok in today's society and the other makes you a *kitten*?
This isn't a whine, its a legitimate question I have.
It’s not acceptable in either situation but it absolutely happens a lot to obese people (just peruse these forums for thread after thread judging people who eat fast food/buy ice cream cookies/etc.). It absolutely happens in person too.
However. I think in your case, the commentary is largely because of the spectacle you’ve made of your eating and not the actual contents of your food containers.
Millions of people “food prep” whether or not they are doing anything special for fitness. Millions of people bring their own food to work (“good” food or otherwise). Millions of people eat frequently for a variety of reasons (medical issues, preference, etc.). Most of them do so without preamble and just go about their business.
You’ve chosen to make all this extremely public. Therefore it is fodder for the masses. People don’t comment on tthings they don’t notice.
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I make sure I am seen with beer and a bag of pork rinds in my hand at all times, so that whenever someone asks what my secret is I just hold out both. If they ask questions I shush them and instruct them to have a rind and hand them a beer.17
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We must have different types of friends. Mine would encourage me while trying to lose, but would not comment if I happened to slip. Since most of my gatherings revolve around BBQ, Motorcycles, Cigars and Bourbon it don't really matter.7
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Duck_Puddle wrote: »youcantflexcardio wrote: »Ok, some decent responses, we've established that I'm being a whiny little *kitten* lately, I'm going to stop now. I see I've brought some some stuff on myself by not exactly being private about myeal prepped thing.
I still have 1 question though - why is it socially acceptable to comment on "healthier" choices or "healthier" peoples cheats (I know there's such thing as healthy or unhealthy food its just a term) - and yet if those healthy people were to ever fire back with comments about an obese persons food, they'd be seen as rude? Personally I think both are kinda rude, but why is one of them perfectly ok in today's society and the other makes you a *kitten*?
This isn't a whine, its a legitimate question I have.
It’s not acceptable in either situation but it absolutely happens a lot to obese people (just peruse these forums for thread after thread judging people who eat fast food/buy ice cream cookies/etc.). It absolutely happens in person too.
However. I think in your case, the commentary is largely because of the spectacle you’ve made of your eating and not the actual contents of your food containers.
Millions of people “food prep” whether or not they are doing anything special for fitness. Millions of people bring their own food to work (“good” food or otherwise). Millions of people eat frequently for a variety of reasons (medical issues, preference, etc.). Most of them do so without preamble and just go about their business.
You’ve chosen to make all this extremely public. Therefore it is fodder for the masses. People don’t comment on tthings they don’t notice.
Nope... I think a lot of people notice what you are eating. I get comments all the time. Sometimes I even will eat junk just to not get noticed or to fit in. I have co-workers who sneak off to another room to eat their burgers and fries even though I have NEVER commented on their food.
I have no answers for what to say. It always takes me off guard when people comment, and I am just minding my own business trying to enjoy my lunch.0 -
carolyn000000 wrote: »Duck_Puddle wrote: »youcantflexcardio wrote: »Ok, some decent responses, we've established that I'm being a whiny little *kitten* lately, I'm going to stop now. I see I've brought some some stuff on myself by not exactly being private about myeal prepped thing.
I still have 1 question though - why is it socially acceptable to comment on "healthier" choices or "healthier" peoples cheats (I know there's such thing as healthy or unhealthy food its just a term) - and yet if those healthy people were to ever fire back with comments about an obese persons food, they'd be seen as rude? Personally I think both are kinda rude, but why is one of them perfectly ok in today's society and the other makes you a *kitten*?
This isn't a whine, its a legitimate question I have.
It’s not acceptable in either situation but it absolutely happens a lot to obese people (just peruse these forums for thread after thread judging people who eat fast food/buy ice cream cookies/etc.). It absolutely happens in person too.
However. I think in your case, the commentary is largely because of the spectacle you’ve made of your eating and not the actual contents of your food containers.
Millions of people “food prep” whether or not they are doing anything special for fitness. Millions of people bring their own food to work (“good” food or otherwise). Millions of people eat frequently for a variety of reasons (medical issues, preference, etc.). Most of them do so without preamble and just go about their business.
You’ve chosen to make all this extremely public. Therefore it is fodder for the masses. People don’t comment on tthings they don’t notice.
Nope... I think a lot of people notice what you are eating. I get comments all the time. Sometimes I even will eat junk just to not get noticed or to fit in. I have co-workers who sneak off to another room to eat their burgers and fries even though I have NEVER commented on their food.
I have no answers for what to say. It always takes me off guard when people comment, and I am just minding my own business trying to enjoy my lunch.
I'm not personally criticizing you so please don't take offense but I don't think this is a good thing to do. First, you don't need to "fit in". You make your choices regardless of the baseless opinions of others.
Think of some comments ahead of time so that you'll be prepared. You'll probably feel better afterwards for standing up for yourself. I have plenty of responses to unsolicited comments but most would be offensive so I only use them if absolutely necessary.1
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