Less Alcohol - January 2019 - One Day at a Time
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Zoning out instead of doing my work like I should and I was thinking about the days when I drank the most last year (like the biggest quantities of alcohol in one day or night) and most of them was when I was with my husband's family. They are all party animal drinkers (mother-in-law included) and family gatherings with them end up being disasters, usually. Christmas Day was just horrible. I only had two beers that day so I drove home because husband always joins right in on the festivities.
How to avoid husband's family without making husband feel bad? The reason I started drinking a lot in the first place is because we lived at his mom's house for a year and a half and it was terrible. I do not like Easter anymore because we always spend it with his family and everyone starts drinking at noon. I could just not drink but everyone is so annoying that I usually end up grabbing a bottle or 10 of beer. I'm not very close to my parents but perhaps this Easter I'll go to their house and offer to cook or take them out to eat. It will start another argument with husband but it will probably be worth it to not put up with his family.
Ohhhhh @buffmom84. Your post brought tears to my eyes as I read it because that is, to the T, how my husbands family is. To them every thing they do needs to involve alcohol and the hard stuff and lots of it for hours on end. After 3 years together I finally put my foot down and refuse to be around them EVER AGAIN. When they drink they not only become loud and abnoxious. They pick fights, and not just verbal. I was attacked on Christmas Eve 2015 by his Sister and swore I would not be apart of the fighting and then making up the next day like nothing happened. It is a sick way to live.
I hope you do what is right for you. For mental and safety reasons.
Giant hug from me.5 -
Zoning out instead of doing my work like I should and I was thinking about the days when I drank the most last year (like the biggest quantities of alcohol in one day or night) and most of them was when I was with my husband's family. They are all party animal drinkers (mother-in-law included) and family gatherings with them end up being disasters, usually. Christmas Day was just horrible. I only had two beers that day so I drove home because husband always joins right in on the festivities.
How to avoid husband's family without making husband feel bad? The reason I started drinking a lot in the first place is because we lived at his mom's house for a year and a half and it was terrible. I do not like Easter anymore because we always spend it with his family and everyone starts drinking at noon. I could just not drink but everyone is so annoying that I usually end up grabbing a bottle or 10 of beer. I'm not very close to my parents but perhaps this Easter I'll go to their house and offer to cook or take them out to eat. It will start another argument with husband but it will probably be worth it to not put up with his family.
My husbands family is the opposite, no drinkers at all. They do have their issues though (a lot of them) and my husband and I try to avoid all of them except for my mother in law....when we can. We had Christmas with them and I brought just one bottle of wine, would have shared if anyone wanted any but they didn't. I had two glasses and his nephew's wife brought up at least 3 times that I was "too drunk" to do/understand something. Ummmmm, no, I just can't take any of you seriously and you all are terrible people and I don't know how to have a normal conversation with you all because you twist every word I say and I have anxiety for weeks leading up to any event that involves you....5 -
Fell asleep before I could post last night. 4/7 days AF in Jan. I had planned to drink 2 nights when my friend was in town but it turned into 3. Was proud when I stopped it from becoming 4.5
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@MissMay
Thank you for responding to my post. I'm so sorry to hear that you went through that with your husband's family but glad to hear you put your foot down about it. And I totally understand about the "acting like it didn't happen" the next day because his family does the same exact thing!
I never fought with my husband's family, but on Christmas Day his sister and brother got in a screaming match, broken beer bottles, tables knocked over, everything. My husband was not involved in the fight except to try to break it up and then we left shortly after. Husband is really close to his family (for reasons I can't comprehend) and things like this won't stop him from spending time with them. Their excuse was "I was raised in a bar" because their grandparents owned and ran a bar their whole lives.
The only reason I go over there at all is my kids are the same age as three of their cousins and they like to play together. Of course I couldn't just have the cousins here because everyone would come over and there'd be a drunken disaster at my house!
I purposely didn't invite his family over to my house last 4th of July and only invited my parents, sister and brother-in-law and his family threw a fit! "We aren't good enough to hang out at your house?" I guess I can't shut them out of my life completely at this point (I've been with husband for over 10 years) but hopefully I can casually avoid them more often.5 -
I just found this group after my post on getting started. I was drinking 6-15 vodka & diet soda drinks daily after going thru divorce. My goals are:
No drinking unless it's margarita date night with my girlfriend.
After I lose 15 lbs (goal is about 30) I will afford myself 1 drink per week. I have other non-drinking rewards as well.
After I lose 20 lbs 2 drinks on one night per week.
After 25 lbs 2 drinks 2 nights per week
After 30 lbs 2 drinks 3 nights per week.
When I say "drink" it probably more like a double or triple as I use my large yeti tumber.3 -
5 of 7 AF days so far in January. Friday night I drank about a half bottle of wine and I finished it on Saturday, so 5 drinks total, which is less than my 1 per day average target. I am feeling pretty okay with that.3
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I read your posts about spending time with family / holidays... seems the holidays bring out the worst is some. You just need to do what feels right for your own immediate family, and if that means avoiding the others, than so be it... (I know, easier said than done). You all have my prayers and best wishes for love and peace.3
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So I officially started this on 7/1/19 (as with all my other good intentions - "back to normal" Monday as I called it as it was back to work/school for the household after the Christmas break.). I know I drank alcohol in two of the days of the first week of January however since Monday I have been using a little app to keep track. AF so far, hoping to at least see out the rest of the month this way.3
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Day 8 AF for me! Hope everyone is doing well sticking to their goals!6
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5/8 days AF so far! I’ve found one of my triggers - having “too many” calories left at the end of the day. Tonight, I had kombucha instead and a big bowl of cereal.7
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Just seen this off from a thread I've just read. I actually haven't had a drink since the 1st I know deep down I've been drinking way to much over many years which has resulted in my weight gain. This is my 5th year of healing from undisclosed CSA and I've had many therapy treatments. This is my last hurdle to overcome so I can get myself back to a healthy happy lifestyle. So glad I found this thread.8
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I haven't drank since New Years Day
I'm a week streak freak 
Yesterday was unexpectedly hard considering it was a Tuesday. My in-laws were moving homes and since they're 84 and 74 respectively I had to take the day off to help. Between my Mother in Law just sitting there befuddled and confused, my Father in Law running around getting in everyone's way and my poor wife completely stressed out trying to get everything into the right rooms it was quite a stressful day.
When we'd finished, for the evening, I went for take out. No it's my 100% habit that while waiting for the food to be cooked (all of about 15-20mins) I'll always order a beer or two. However, I just ,liked my lips and ordered a diet Coke.
When we finally got back to our place my wife was a bit stressed about how much less able to look after themselves more dependent her parents are becoming. She asked me to join her in a whisky as I'd been so good all week and I must be stressed too. I politely declined.
If there's anything I get out of this month its not drinking out of habit or stress. If and when I drink I want it to be for enjoyment or pleasure.
TLDNR: AF= 7
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Jan 8 - AF even though DH had beer
5/8 days AF (personal target 4 AF per week & 16 per month)
The past 2 years this would never have happened. I would have just had 1 beer. But my journal showed no calories left to play with last night and I really didn't want anything to drink. So more water instead and the scale dropped again! Accountability and tracking my food is really helping.
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@BuffMom84 @MissMay - so sorry to hear about your families. Wanted to pass along that on Sunday, I was at my first family dinner since I started Dry January. I did fine, but it was mildly hilarious listening to my son's girlfriend's mom laugh at me for doing Dry January and loudly proclaiming she didn't drink. While she was downing her third glass of wine. I found last year when I did this that people who'd had too much to drink were really annoying to be around. Of course, that's been me, many times.
Day 9 begins for me. Had a horrible binge on sweets last night, and then this showed up from my Try Dry app people this a.m. Wanted to pass along because I thought it might be useful. I'm craving chocolate, not alcohol, so have other issues, LOL.
From Dry January people:
Have you had a craving for a drink? Some of our Dry January community describe feeling the urge for a drink once they’ve got the first week over. There’s something exciting about a new challenge that keeps you motivated but by week two it can become a bit humdrum and that’s when cravings can sneak in.
The first thing to remember is that this is completely normal. It can really help to know that cravings don’t have to be a problem and that thousands of people have faced this challenge during their month and come through with flying colours.
The second useful fact is that a craving lasts, on average, for just six minutes! If you can distract yourself for this long, you’ll find that the desire starts to abate and you can move past the craving. That’s a great feeling and will spur you on if another craving pops up later in the month.8 -
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I'm late to this thread but I'm going to join in! I don't want to stop drinking (I do like my beer) but I really should cut down in frequency and volume, especially as I did indulge quite a bit of Christmas and New Year.
So my aim for this month is to only drink once a week - so far so good. I had a couple of drinks last Friday (and much less than I would usually consume on a Friday night) and probably won't drink until this Saturday when we're possibly going out to celebrate a friends engagement!3 -
Thanks for creating this! I am getting new head shots taken today- my photographer said for best results no alcohol, salty foods or sugar 2-3 days before the shoot (so I don’t look puffy). And of course plenty of water. Switch out Italian Sausage for chicken? No problem. I’m not a big sweets eater so that was easy. I already eat lots of veggies and drink tons of water. No problem.
By FAR my biggest surprise is how much I missed having wine while cooking dinner or relaxing at the end of the day. I was really craving it especially last night. I am surprised at how much of an ingrained habit drinking has become- and when 1 glass turns into 2, I engage in what I call “drunk eating “. All my logging and good food choices go out the window. Big surprise those stubborn last few pounds refuse to come off. Plus my sleep is always pretty terrible.
Fast forward to this morning. I step in the scale, and I’m finally below 130 after almost a year of struggling! Suddenly the glass of wine I have been planning to drink tonight after the shoot isn’t looking so good!
So I’m going to try to avoid alcohol during the week and only drink weekends. So nice to have a place where that’s an OK choice!8 -
My aim is regulation. I am not doing "dry January", but good for all of you that are!
Having this thread keeps me accountable.
I'm not really into deprivation, just trying to be more moderate with food and alcohol.
My primary reason for AF days is weight loss. Once alcohol is in our bodies our liver concentrates on only that and not on metabolising fat or anything else. Also, being puffy is not ideal : - )
My goal is 4 - 5 AF days per week.
I was 16 day AF out of 30 for December, not counting the 31st. Up until October 27th.18 I was having drinks every single day. I have cut back for sure.
I do plan to have champagne NYE.
December 31st - 1 pumpkin spice cream liqueur, 2 mixed drinks. I did not get to the champagne.
January 1st - AF
January 2nd - AF
January 3rd - AF
January 4th - 3 drinks Friday night. I actually had 4, but then threw up lol. This is the reason that I never have more than 3 if I choose to have drinks. Good reminder. Yes, I can never be "drunk" because I can't have more than 3.
January 5th - AF So curious that each and every day that I have drinks I am down 2 pounds the following day. I think that I read somewhere on this post that it dehydrates you. It comes back the next day of course : - )
I don't log my AF or not AF until the following morning for the night before.
January 6th - AF - 5 days out of 6. Very busy week, so more AF days to come.
January 7th - AF - 6 days out of 7 for the month
January 8th - AF - 7 days our of 8 for the month so far
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@Womona - wow, talk about reinforcement for creating better habits! Congrats on your weight loss. That is awesome. You might like this video about pairing habits by Gretchen Rubin. It's helped me.0
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That's great @Womona I am really hoping to see similar things happen. The thing about drinking is it's not just the extra calories from a glass or two of wine but the junk you eat to go along with it, or the lack of control when it comes to food, so I totally get you.
It's interesting to see people mention their "triggers" or habits when it comes to alcohol too. It's funny how it can become such a part of your day to day life. I know my husband and I almost without discussing it now have a virtual calendar entry for a Friday night to have a few glasses together as a reward at the end of a busy week. Would be interested to know how people successfully break those habits.3 -
Planning on having just a small celebratory drink at the weekend, going up to my sisters which is 300 miles away, my niece is due to have her baby on friday but only going to have a few champagnes. Trying to only drink on special occasions.4
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Last night I was almost angry about not being able to drink. I had a crappy work day and I was feeling stressed out. The grocery store I stopped at had two giant wine displays that I had to walk by, but I kept going, although I was irritated by it. After working out, I sat down to catch up on some TV and nearly every show had people drinking at some point. My sparkling water just isn't the same! Dry January is my choice, but some evenings are harder than others for me.
Thanks for letting me vent!15 -
VeggieGirlforLife wrote: »Last night I was almost angry about not being able to drink. I had a crappy work day and I was feeling stressed out. The grocery store I stopped at had two giant wine displays that I had to walk by, but I kept going, although I was irritated by it. After working out, I sat down to catch up on some TV and nearly every show had people drinking at some point. My sparkling water just isn't the same! Dry January is my choice, but some evenings are harder than others for me.
Thanks for letting me vent!
After reading this thread I really feel for people with alcoholism and realize how ingrained alcohol is into society. Special occasions are celebrated with drinks, night out with friends go to a bar, grocery shopping walk by the alcohol, watching tv everyone is drinking wine or beer, had hard day relax with a drink, just got off work go to happy hour. I think it helps to remember how toxic alcohol is to our bodies just like we are trying to stay away junk food.0 -
@kittybenn
I'm interested in knowing where you found that a craving lasts only 6 minutes?
I'd like to believe that is true, but last year after a rough day I would get it in my head that I would want to drink and would not stop thinking about it until I drank.
I'm doing much better than I thought I would only drinking once per week. Then again I started off this way last year and I eventually went to drinking 2-3 days per week a lot of weeks. My husband is a big drinker as I mentioned and I'm glad he's finally starting to cut back too because he's tired of the hangovers. On nights when I feel like drinking and see that he isn't, then it makes me not want to drink.
A problem I have is buying alcohol in bulk. The liquor store I go to has sales for like 6 bottles of wine for a discounted price so then I'll buy 6 thinking it'll last me 6 weeks and I'm "saving money". Nope. Having that much alcohol in the house just makes me want to drink more often, even if it is in the garage fridge and out of sight. From now on I'm only buying enough alcohol for one night of drinking and when it runs out, too bad for me (and I don't care if it "costs a little more")!
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Sticking to my goals and feeling great! Wanted to have a big glass of wine with friends after golf; however, stuck to my hot tea! Yea!5
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@kittybenn
I'm interested in knowing where you found that a craving lasts only 6 minutes?
I'd like to believe that is true, but last year after a rough day I would get it in my head that I would want to drink and would not stop thinking about it until I drank.
I'm doing much better than I thought I would only drinking once per week. Then again I started off this way last year and I eventually went to drinking 2-3 days per week a lot of weeks. My husband is a big drinker as I mentioned and I'm glad he's finally starting to cut back too because he's tired of the hangovers. On nights when I feel like drinking and see that he isn't, then it makes me not want to drink.
A problem I have is buying alcohol in bulk. The liquor store I go to has sales for like 6 bottles of wine for a discounted price so then I'll buy 6 thinking it'll last me 6 weeks and I'm "saving money". Nope. Having that much alcohol in the house just makes me want to drink more often, even if it is in the garage fridge and out of sight. From now on I'm only buying enough alcohol for one night of drinking and when it runs out, too bad for me (and I don't care if it "costs a little more")!
I hear you!1 -
VeggieGirlforLife wrote: »Last night I was almost angry about not being able to drink. I had a crappy work day and I was feeling stressed out. The grocery store I stopped at had two giant wine displays that I had to walk by, but I kept going, although I was irritated by it. After working out, I sat down to catch up on some TV and nearly every show had people drinking at some point. My sparkling water just isn't the same! Dry January is my choice, but some evenings are harder than others for me.
Thanks for letting me vent!
@VeggieGirlforLife I don't have any advice but wanted to say I totally understand this! Especially after I have been dry for a bit and start feeling better, I get frustrated that I "can't" drink. I have cut a few past attempts at dry months short for that reason. Not this time! I have a list of reasons why I want to complete the month and I'm hopeful that those reasons will still resonate with me through the next few weeks.0 -
I'm doing a dry January...except...I stopped at Brio, a restaurant, for "Happy Hour". Totally because I always do, I ordered a Peroni. I thought "Darn" when it arrived, I really just forgot. I did drink it, can not waste a Peroni. I didn't order a second and it's been my only slip up. I tracked it and I was ok calorie wise.7
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It wasn't in my plans to have a drink last night... but felt a strong craving and unfortunately caved in. On the positive side, I stopped at 1 13
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