We broke up because...
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He stole my pillow! Every night!0
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She kept putting a pillow over my face and telling me to call her daddy.0
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He was terrible at following directions.0
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Although she didn’t mind the fact that I had a fear of heights, it was my fear of lows that inevitably bothered her...0
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He had too many phobias0
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He wouldn't take off the damn ears0
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He had a thing with ears0
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He preferred women without ears0
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She was psychic and dumped me before we even met!0
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He just couldn't decide which superhero he wanted to be!0
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He wouldn't give me gas money to drive to Florida to see him.0
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He was always searching for the next sugar daddy0
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I was her sugar daddy and she went to a sugar free diet!0
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He melted when it rained. Couldn't take him anywhere0
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I hate the rain and wouldn't go anywhere with him on rainy days.0
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He was always dogging me0
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He only wanted to do it doggy style even when I showed him movies with other options!0
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He said I didn't look enough like the girls in the movies he watches.0
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She kept having me tape a picture of David hassellhoff over my face during sex0
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He kept having me wear a Pamala Anderson mask while cooking him dinner in a red bathing suit!0
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