It's NOT a compliment when someone says...

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  • A_New_Horizon
    A_New_Horizon Posts: 1,555 Member
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    "you look good for having kids"

    in other words, you look like crap if you didn't :)

    This one always gets to me too.:grumble:
  • CassieLEO
    CassieLEO Posts: 757 Member
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    "You must have lost a TON of weight, you were really getting fat there for a while".........nice.....
  • minbee
    minbee Posts: 3
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    Having not seen an old friend for a few years my abiding memory of our reunion was her saying 'that's a nice top... for YOU...'

    Thanks, pal.

    Edited as I thought of another one, a girl at work who always feels compelled to comment on my clothes said to me that my jacket was nice, well, nicer than my granny cardigans anyway.
  • jacksonpt
    jacksonpt Posts: 10,413 Member
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    ok, I'll bite...

    I can see why you don't want to take it as the nicest thing anyone has every said to you, but don't dismiss it entirely either. I get that you want to look better, and that's great... but but there's a complement in there (assuming it wasn't meant sarcastically).

    I'm a member of my local triathlon club... if after tonight's run-bike-run session someone looked at me and said, "wow, you're really fast for a single father"... I would take it as a compliment and respond with, "Thanks... next step is to be fast, period." They are still complementing me even if it's not the compliment I want. Besides, I AM a single father, I AM older than a lot of them... it's still a good thing to be fast for a single dad.
  • Trixtabella
    Trixtabella Posts: 471 Member
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    I think when people say this they are trying to make you realise you are pretty in spite of the fact you weigh x amount of lbs. I guess that they just feel we are insecure about our weight / age, so they are saying I know you think your fat but even if you are your still pretty. Does that make sense?
    However I do agree as my Mum used to say it all the time to me and it is so annoying and in some cases hurtful.
  • JennsLosing
    JennsLosing Posts: 1,026
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    "You must have lost a TON of weight, you were really getting fat there for a while".........nice.....
    lol that one sucks, but if you think about any time somebody says out loud "you lost alot of weight" they are thinking the second part quietly in their heads .
  • njbooklover
    njbooklover Posts: 77 Member
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    You look so nice today . . . so that means I don't normally?
  • Stagezz
    Stagezz Posts: 124 Member
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    One of my favorites...My little sister...

    "I'm getting married in October and i picked only my fat friends to be in the wedding so i look skinner. By the way you are one of my bridesmaids..."

    Uhm thanks...
  • VeganGal84
    VeganGal84 Posts: 938 Member
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    "I always love that shirt/skirt/outfit on you!" means that I need to go shopping because I wear the same things every week!

    "Keep up the good work! (about weight loss)" means that you are assuming that I'm not at my goal weight yet. What if I am?


    And these are always meant in a nice way, so I am not actually offended by them, but they do make me think!
  • mrspenton2009
    mrspenton2009 Posts: 84 Member
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    so very true!
  • bmw4deb
    bmw4deb Posts: 1,325 Member
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    I had a hair dresser tell me last week it will make you look so much younger ???
    how old did she think i was :frown:
  • arwamya
    arwamya Posts: 304
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    One of my doctor's nurses told me, "You have such lovely eyes and beautiful skin...Just think of how great you would look if you lost some weight".....:huh: ....I found a new doctor.....:bigsmile: ..

    hahahaha lol !
  • jacksonpt
    jacksonpt Posts: 10,413 Member
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    Some of these posts are just fuel for the "can women be friends" thread.
  • Fitdiva83
    Fitdiva83 Posts: 51 Member
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    Every womans nightmare: So how far along are you? :embarassed:
  • vox23
    vox23 Posts: 246 Member
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    One of my doctor's nurses told me, "You have such lovely eyes and beautiful skin...Just think of how great you would look if you lost some weight".....:huh: ....I found a new doctor.....:bigsmile: ..

    I wish someone would have cared enough about me to tell me i needed to lose weight.
  • gdortiz
    gdortiz Posts: 169 Member
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    yeah, that is a complicment ... you can always lose weight, but you can't really do anything about your face. so basically that is saying, being a very good looking person is totally up to you because you have the pretty face, now all you need to do is lose weight.

    I mean, is it a glowing compliment ...no, is it a compliment, I think so.
  • fitplease
    fitplease Posts: 647 Member
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    You've gained weight.
    Really?
    Where? I don't see any.
    You look fine to me.

    When you know that it's obvious you can no longer see your toes! (And it's not because of your breasts!)
  • Written0318
    Written0318 Posts: 16
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    On the opposite end of the spectrum:

    "I remember when I used to be your size, I was never THAT skinny though"
  • fitplease
    fitplease Posts: 647 Member
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    "You must have lost a TON of weight, you were really getting fat there for a while".........nice.....

    This one sounds more like the friend who was holding it in but wants to compliment you while revealing the truth of what s/he thought before you got to this new weight. (The guilty conscience revealed!) S/he wants to encourage you but sticks foot-in-mouth first.
  • savethecat
    savethecat Posts: 290 Member
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    This may just be my personal pet peeve but I have a friend (a butchy lesbian who happens to be heavier than me, to put these comments in perspective) that says the same thing every time I see her. She hugs me, steps back looking at my body and says:

    "You're almost skinny!"

    It irks me every time.

    The only other thing she's said as a complement to my weight loss is:

    "Your boobs look smaller!"

    Uh. Thanks?

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