Mentally Exhausted
Replies
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I think the worst part about trying to lose weight is the constant battle inside your head. I feel like I have a split personality and it scares me. I will literally lay in bed at night and convince myself not to go to the fridge. All day I'm constantly fighting with myself it shouldn't be this exhausting. I want to so bad and I am so good when it comes to setting my mind to it. I can actually do it but in the beginning it is all mine games Within Myself. It is scary and frustrating and I feel so emotionally drained by the end of the day. Does anybody else feel this way? Any advice? Or if you just want to rant about what I just said or relate to what I just said. Rant over
Sounds like you may have an anxiety problem. Try some meditation, mindfulness exercises. Easier said than done but try to remember that thoughts don't equal reality.
If you're really struggling consider seeing your dr who might be able to help.2 -
Sorry I'm late to this discussion. I hope you are still here, OP.
Your comments really hit home for me because I know someone who says those same sorts of things. I have to confess that I don't completely understand. It seemed like she blamed the food for making her love it. Or blamed the producers of food for conspiring to addict her to it. Or blamed herself for... something, I don't really know what. Either way she gets obsessed with food day and night and is in despair that she can ever lose weight. It hurts my heart to see her so unhappy.
What I suggested was to not even try to cut back on anything, but to just log it in her food diary here for a week or so. Then when she was in a better frame of mind look at it and see if there was some little thing she could change. No, she could not because simply paying enough attention to her eating to be able to estimate it and log it makes her miserable.
So I then suggested she simply stop trying to lose weight for now or forever. It's not as if she is massively over weight. She thinks she needs to lose 50 lbs but she is by no means unhealthy or unattractive. No,my suggestion won't work because she hates the way she looks.
Now, I don't offer any comments on the subject even if she brings it up. I too have weight to lose and a tendency to binge on sweets and make stupid choices (ice cream for lunch) but I'm managing to slowly lose weight anyway. So slowly in fact that I don't think she has noticed.
I'm thinking she is someone who should find a method other than calorie counting. But perhaps I'm just fundamentally not getting what her struggle is really about.
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I think the worst part about trying to lose weight is the constant battle inside your head. I feel like I have a split personality and it scares me. I will literally lay in bed at night and convince myself not to go to the fridge. All day I'm constantly fighting with myself it shouldn't be this exhausting. I want to so bad and I am so good when it comes to setting my mind to it. I can actually do it but in the beginning it is all mine games Within Myself. It is scary and frustrating and I feel so emotionally drained by the end of the day. Does anybody else feel this way? Any advice? Or if you just want to rant about what I just said or relate to what I just said. Rant over
YES!!!! EVERY DAY IS INDEED A BATTLE...
Things that may hell a bit include...
Meditation
Walking meditation
Journaling-write out your anger and frustration...I CURSE..draw crazy pics...add pics of my ideal body, home...etc.
MOST IMPORTANTLY👉Plan tomorrow out today...and by that I mean figure out TONIGHT what you will do TOMORROW, hour by hour, so you are not spending the day trying to figure out what to do with your time OTHER than think about food...STAYING BUSY IS KEY!!
Hope this helps...rooting for ya!1 -
I feel ya. I know it is hard. Keep going. You can do this!
My suggestion is to eat. Really. When you want to eat, eat. But of course don't eat all the bad things. Eat something high in fiber so it fills your belly, even if it makes you go over a bit. It's more important to address this hunger so you can be successful in the long term than it is to be very strict about your calories.0 -
It really can feel overwhelming at times, I agree. What helped me is to make one small change at a time, so:
- Just simply track everything for the first week. Not putting pressure on myself to hit any calorie goal; just building the habit
- Start trying to hit the calorie goal, but without focusing on the nutrition of it.
- Then start tweaking the nutrition
- Add a bit of light, pleasurable exercsie 3 times a week for like 20 minutes.
- Gradually increase the intensity or duration.
During this time I would do a weekly reflection of what positive things I had done for my new lifestyle that week. Slowly, I found it reprogrammed my thinking to be way more positive and proud of my hard work rather than exhausting.2 -
I have some of that... especially on weekends. For me, distraction is key. If I can keep myself busy (i.e. keep my mind on something OTHER than the fridge/pantry/liquor cabinet), then the whole process becomes infinitely easier. Unfortunately, that's not always easy to do... but just having that awareness has helped.0
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I'm logging and see that alchool is entirely the reason why I'm not to my goal... Its disgusting actually but know where I need to work on now. Thanks everyone! Much appreciate this advice2
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Giving up alcohol was one of the best things I have ever done for myself. I used to drink quite a bit and feel like a new and MUCH better person. I will have a small drink on occasion, but still rare. Give it a shot!3
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Giving up alcohol was one of the best things I have ever done for myself. I used to drink quite a bit and feel like a new and MUCH better person. I will have a small drink on occasion, but still rare. Give it a shot!
How did you get out of that habit!? It's such a part of our society and culture.
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IDK, I kinda disagree. I think people THINK it is such a big part of our society. I know more and more people who have stopped and all my friends and family have supported me and many have now chosen to do the same. But I had no problem making the switch. If I go to a bar with a group, I have found other things I can drink. Or I avoid the scene altogether if I know it will be a problem... but again, that's rare.6
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Giving up alcohol was one of the best things I have ever done for myself. I used to drink quite a bit and feel like a new and MUCH better person. I will have a small drink on occasion, but still rare. Give it a shot!
How did you get out of that habit!? It's such a part of our society and culture.
I'm also not a drinker. It makes a lot of things easier, actually. I will never have to worry about a DUI, I don't need to log the calories and I am in full control of my faculties all the time. Plus, it's more fun to watch other people get drunk when you are the one who's sober.
1 -
Giving up alcohol was one of the best things I have ever done for myself. I used to drink quite a bit and feel like a new and MUCH better person. I will have a small drink on occasion, but still rare. Give it a shot!
How did you get out of that habit!? It's such a part of our society and culture.
I'm also not a drinker. It makes a lot of things easier, actually. I will never have to worry about a DUI, I don't need to log the calories and I am in full control of my faculties all the time. Plus, it's more fun to watch other people get drunk when you are the one who's sober.
Not everyone that drinks drives while they are or loses control of their faculties.... 😕 but happy that you are doing so great...1 -
Whether you do or do not consume alcohol, you still have to account for the calories you consume.
Do that. Be honest. Be patient. If the problem is that you get hungry after you've reached your calorie budget, you may need to reconsider your calorie budget. Another possibility is that you can benefit from scheduling the snacks you'll have during the time you experience hunger, if that's predictable.0 -
Giving up alcohol was one of the best things I have ever done for myself. I used to drink quite a bit and feel like a new and MUCH better person. I will have a small drink on occasion, but still rare. Give it a shot!
How did you get out of that habit!? It's such a part of our society and culture.
I'm also not a drinker. It makes a lot of things easier, actually. I will never have to worry about a DUI, I don't need to log the calories and I am in full control of my faculties all the time. Plus, it's more fun to watch other people get drunk when you are the one who's sober.
Not everyone that drinks drives while they are or loses control of their faculties.... 😕 but happy that you are doing so great...
Very true. There are quite a few people that think they are under the limit with just 2-3 drinks and end up with a DUI, though. I'm just glad to never have to even think about that. 0 -
cmriverside wrote: »lbjourneytobeauty wrote: »Literally going through the same thing. Had a full breakdown tonight bc I ate 260 over my calories. Life shouldn’t be this freaking stressful about weight. I feel punished that for the rest of my life I have to watch what I eat, count calories and weigh my food just to not gain more weight while there are people who can eat whatever and not gain a pound. People who are naturally thin, and don’t worry about body image. I’m so ready to give up.
See, I don't think this is true.
People who are naturally thin have come up with Rules in Their Own Heads.
No one can eat whatever and not gain a pound, that's not the way it works.
What happens is that people who maintain a certain weight have taught themselves over the years how to eat. Maybe it happened when they were 15 or maybe it took them until they were in their 40s or whatever - but we all have to make our peace with food.
I would LOVE to eat a pint of Ben & Jerry's every day. As a matter of fact I did that for years. But then I had to either stop doing that or stop eating so much other food or stay fat.
All of life is about choices and habits. Once you make the better choices for a while they become the new habits and it's easier.
It was hard for me in the beginning of weight loss because the rules in my head had long ago been kicked to the curb. I had no rules. It was all the hedonism all the time. I had to learn all over again how to say, "No."
I think you're significantly overestimating the extent to which people without weight problems actually think about food and eating. They haven't discovered some sort of secret rules or learned something about eating that other people don't know. Most of them aren't constantly monitoring their intake or fighting battles with themselves about what they can and can't eat. They just don't feel like eating all the time.
I mean, I like Ben & Jerry's too as a once in a while treat, but hell if I'd want to eat a pint of it every day. I'd be sick as a dog after a week.1 -
Giving up alcohol was one of the best things I have ever done for myself. I used to drink quite a bit and feel like a new and MUCH better person. I will have a small drink on occasion, but still rare. Give it a shot!
How did you get out of that habit!? It's such a part of our society and culture.
I'm also not a drinker. It makes a lot of things easier, actually. I will never have to worry about a DUI, I don't need to log the calories and I am in full control of my faculties all the time. Plus, it's more fun to watch other people get drunk when you are the one who's sober.
Not everyone that drinks drives while they are or loses control of their faculties.... 😕 but happy that you are doing so great...
Very true. There are quite a few people that think they are under the limit with just 2-3 drinks and end up with a DUI, though. I'm just glad to never have to even think about that.
Not sure what this has to do with anything but ok... 😕0 -
Giving up alcohol was one of the best things I have ever done for myself. I used to drink quite a bit and feel like a new and MUCH better person. I will have a small drink on occasion, but still rare. Give it a shot!
How did you get out of that habit!? It's such a part of our society and culture.
I'm also not a drinker. It makes a lot of things easier, actually. I will never have to worry about a DUI, I don't need to log the calories and I am in full control of my faculties all the time. Plus, it's more fun to watch other people get drunk when you are the one who's sober.
Not everyone that drinks drives while they are or loses control of their faculties.... 😕 but happy that you are doing so great...
Very true. There are quite a few people that think they are under the limit with just 2-3 drinks and end up with a DUI, though. I'm just glad to never have to even think about that.
Not sure what this has to do with anything but ok... 😕
Seems like I have struck a nerve, which was not my intent. I only have kind intentions. Please enjoy the rest of your day.1 -
Giving up alcohol was one of the best things I have ever done for myself. I used to drink quite a bit and feel like a new and MUCH better person. I will have a small drink on occasion, but still rare. Give it a shot!
How did you get out of that habit!? It's such a part of our society and culture.
I'm also not a drinker. It makes a lot of things easier, actually. I will never have to worry about a DUI, I don't need to log the calories and I am in full control of my faculties all the time. Plus, it's more fun to watch other people get drunk when you are the one who's sober.
Not everyone that drinks drives while they are or loses control of their faculties.... 😕 but happy that you are doing so great...
Very true. There are quite a few people that think they are under the limit with just 2-3 drinks and end up with a DUI, though. I'm just glad to never have to even think about that.
Not sure what this has to do with anything but ok... 😕
Seems like I have struck a nerve, which was not my intent. I only have kind intentions. Please enjoy the rest of your day.
No not at all. Just odd is all. You have a nice day too.0 -
For me going to sleep is a relief cos there is no battle
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middlehaitch wrote: »Take a deep breath.
Put yourself at maintenance.
Eat what you like to eat within your maintenance calories.
Use a digital scale for all foods, and double check you are using correct entries.
Learn what portion sizes work for you, and what portions you can decrease.
When you are ready start decreasing your calories.
Every 250 cals a day less will give you 0.5 lbs loss per week.
Reduce at a level that suits you. You don’t have to do it fast, you don’t have to do it slow, you just have to be in a calorie deficit over time.
If logging is hard, stressful, do it for a month so you know your portion sizes. Then go by portions and your body scale weight. If you are maintaining, or gaining, drop your portion size, or cut a snack, or replace the snack with a lower calorie option.
Look for ways that make it easy. If that means for the first couple of months you are only maintaining- that’s a win. You know how much it takes to maintain. The next step is just eating a little less.
You haven’t mentioned exercise. It’s good for you, but not needed. I would encourage you, eventually to up your general daily movement, or start exercising. It’s good for your health, and gives you more calories to eat.
Take breaks when you need them to reduce stress.
Be kind to yourself and forgiving.
Cheers, h.
Wow really inspiring post - really cheered me up thank you!!4 -
Larissa_NY wrote: »cmriverside wrote: »lbjourneytobeauty wrote: »Literally going through the same thing. Had a full breakdown tonight bc I ate 260 over my calories. Life shouldn’t be this freaking stressful about weight. I feel punished that for the rest of my life I have to watch what I eat, count calories and weigh my food just to not gain more weight while there are people who can eat whatever and not gain a pound. People who are naturally thin, and don’t worry about body image. I’m so ready to give up.
See, I don't think this is true.
People who are naturally thin have come up with Rules in Their Own Heads.
No one can eat whatever and not gain a pound, that's not the way it works.
What happens is that people who maintain a certain weight have taught themselves over the years how to eat. Maybe it happened when they were 15 or maybe it took them until they were in their 40s or whatever - but we all have to make our peace with food.
I would LOVE to eat a pint of Ben & Jerry's every day. As a matter of fact I did that for years. But then I had to either stop doing that or stop eating so much other food or stay fat.
All of life is about choices and habits. Once you make the better choices for a while they become the new habits and it's easier.
It was hard for me in the beginning of weight loss because the rules in my head had long ago been kicked to the curb. I had no rules. It was all the hedonism all the time. I had to learn all over again how to say, "No."
I think you're significantly overestimating the extent to which people without weight problems actually think about food and eating. They haven't discovered some sort of secret rules or learned something about eating that other people don't know. Most of them aren't constantly monitoring their intake or fighting battles with themselves about what they can and can't eat. They just don't feel like eating all the time.
I mean, I like Ben & Jerry's too as a once in a while treat, but hell if I'd want to eat a pint of it every day. I'd be sick as a dog after a week.
I'd make the argument that you still have a rule in your head. It may have come naturally due to how you think your body would make you feel, but that's still a rule in your head. "I won't eat that much Ben & Jerry's, because it would make me sick."
Since it didn't make me sick, I had to come up with other things to tell myself.
I'm glad if you don't have to worry about how much you eat, you've been genetically blessed with a body that stops your mind from desiring or craving delicious foods.
This thread is about being mentally exhausted about food/thinking about food/how to stop that. Maybe you didn't read the first post by the person who is talking about this:I think the worst part about trying to lose weight is the constant battle inside your head. I feel like I have a split personality and it scares me. I will literally lay in bed at night and convince myself not to go to the fridge. All day I'm constantly fighting with myself it shouldn't be this exhausting. I want to so bad and I am so good when it comes to setting my mind to it. I can actually do it but in the beginning it is all mine games Within Myself. It is scary and frustrating and I feel so emotionally drained by the end of the day. Does anybody else feel this way? Any advice? Or if you just want to rant about what I just said or relate to what I just said. Rant over1 -
cmriverside wrote: »Larissa_NY wrote: »cmriverside wrote: »lbjourneytobeauty wrote: »Literally going through the same thing. Had a full breakdown tonight bc I ate 260 over my calories. Life shouldn’t be this freaking stressful about weight. I feel punished that for the rest of my life I have to watch what I eat, count calories and weigh my food just to not gain more weight while there are people who can eat whatever and not gain a pound. People who are naturally thin, and don’t worry about body image. I’m so ready to give up.
See, I don't think this is true.
People who are naturally thin have come up with Rules in Their Own Heads.
No one can eat whatever and not gain a pound, that's not the way it works.
What happens is that people who maintain a certain weight have taught themselves over the years how to eat. Maybe it happened when they were 15 or maybe it took them until they were in their 40s or whatever - but we all have to make our peace with food.
I would LOVE to eat a pint of Ben & Jerry's every day. As a matter of fact I did that for years. But then I had to either stop doing that or stop eating so much other food or stay fat.
All of life is about choices and habits. Once you make the better choices for a while they become the new habits and it's easier.
It was hard for me in the beginning of weight loss because the rules in my head had long ago been kicked to the curb. I had no rules. It was all the hedonism all the time. I had to learn all over again how to say, "No."
I think you're significantly overestimating the extent to which people without weight problems actually think about food and eating. They haven't discovered some sort of secret rules or learned something about eating that other people don't know. Most of them aren't constantly monitoring their intake or fighting battles with themselves about what they can and can't eat. They just don't feel like eating all the time.
I mean, I like Ben & Jerry's too as a once in a while treat, but hell if I'd want to eat a pint of it every day. I'd be sick as a dog after a week.
I'd make the argument that you still have a rule in your head. It may have come naturally due to how you think your body would make you feel, but that's still a rule in your head. "I won't eat that much Ben & Jerry's, because it would make me sick."
Since it didn't make me sick, I had to come up with other things to tell myself.
I'm glad if you don't have to worry about how much you eat, you've been genetically blessed with a body that stops your mind from desiring or craving delicious foods.
This thread is about being mentally exhausted about food/thinking about food/how to stop that. Maybe you didn't read the first post by the person who is talking about this:I think the worst part about trying to lose weight is the constant battle inside your head. I feel like I have a split personality and it scares me. I will literally lay in bed at night and convince myself not to go to the fridge. All day I'm constantly fighting with myself it shouldn't be this exhausting. I want to so bad and I am so good when it comes to setting my mind to it. I can actually do it but in the beginning it is all mine games Within Myself. It is scary and frustrating and I feel so emotionally drained by the end of the day. Does anybody else feel this way? Any advice? Or if you just want to rant about what I just said or relate to what I just said. Rant over
Yes, I read it. But I don't think the OP or anyone else is served by pretending that there is no other way to live than to constantly obsess about food and rules about food and white-knuckle your way through life avoiding the refrigerator. I also don't think anyone is genetically doomed to lay in bed at night struggling not to go eat something.
You said it yourself - the thread is about "how to stop that." The first step toward helping is to let her know that she can stop it, not pretend that she's doomed to obsess forever because she's not "genetically blessed."2 -
I sympathize, it's annoying to have this constant battle in your head while you're still working on getting to the good habits being, well..habits. And then you wonder, will it ever get easier? It's like wth, why me?! At least that's what goes through my head.1
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Larissa_NY wrote: »cmriverside wrote: »Larissa_NY wrote: »cmriverside wrote: »lbjourneytobeauty wrote: »Literally going through the same thing. Had a full breakdown tonight bc I ate 260 over my calories. Life shouldn’t be this freaking stressful about weight. I feel punished that for the rest of my life I have to watch what I eat, count calories and weigh my food just to not gain more weight while there are people who can eat whatever and not gain a pound. People who are naturally thin, and don’t worry about body image. I’m so ready to give up.
See, I don't think this is true.
People who are naturally thin have come up with Rules in Their Own Heads.
No one can eat whatever and not gain a pound, that's not the way it works.
What happens is that people who maintain a certain weight have taught themselves over the years how to eat. Maybe it happened when they were 15 or maybe it took them until they were in their 40s or whatever - but we all have to make our peace with food.
I would LOVE to eat a pint of Ben & Jerry's every day. As a matter of fact I did that for years. But then I had to either stop doing that or stop eating so much other food or stay fat.
All of life is about choices and habits. Once you make the better choices for a while they become the new habits and it's easier.
It was hard for me in the beginning of weight loss because the rules in my head had long ago been kicked to the curb. I had no rules. It was all the hedonism all the time. I had to learn all over again how to say, "No."
I think you're significantly overestimating the extent to which people without weight problems actually think about food and eating. They haven't discovered some sort of secret rules or learned something about eating that other people don't know. Most of them aren't constantly monitoring their intake or fighting battles with themselves about what they can and can't eat. They just don't feel like eating all the time.
I mean, I like Ben & Jerry's too as a once in a while treat, but hell if I'd want to eat a pint of it every day. I'd be sick as a dog after a week.
I'd make the argument that you still have a rule in your head. It may have come naturally due to how you think your body would make you feel, but that's still a rule in your head. "I won't eat that much Ben & Jerry's, because it would make me sick."
Since it didn't make me sick, I had to come up with other things to tell myself.
I'm glad if you don't have to worry about how much you eat, you've been genetically blessed with a body that stops your mind from desiring or craving delicious foods.
This thread is about being mentally exhausted about food/thinking about food/how to stop that. Maybe you didn't read the first post by the person who is talking about this:I think the worst part about trying to lose weight is the constant battle inside your head. I feel like I have a split personality and it scares me. I will literally lay in bed at night and convince myself not to go to the fridge. All day I'm constantly fighting with myself it shouldn't be this exhausting. I want to so bad and I am so good when it comes to setting my mind to it. I can actually do it but in the beginning it is all mine games Within Myself. It is scary and frustrating and I feel so emotionally drained by the end of the day. Does anybody else feel this way? Any advice? Or if you just want to rant about what I just said or relate to what I just said. Rant over
Yes, I read it. But I don't think the OP or anyone else is served by pretending that there is no other way to live than to constantly obsess about food and rules about food and white-knuckle your way through life avoiding the refrigerator. I also don't think anyone is genetically doomed to lay in bed at night struggling not to go eat something.
You said it yourself - the thread is about "how to stop that." The first step toward helping is to let her know that she can stop it, not pretend that she's doomed to obsess forever because she's not "genetically blessed."
The mentally exhausting always happens in the first few weeks of starting a new habit. I used to be very disciplined in my mind a year ago before my car accident. This thread was mostly to vent and rant about how hard it has been to get accustomed to the lifestyle I used to lead. A lot of people do have a hard time as food addiction is a real thing. It is hard to get back in that momentum and quitting cold turkey is the best thing you can do when starting a new healthy lifestyle. Slowly getting myself into it has never worked for me. I just use this for him to vent and complain while I am feeling all of these different emotions. Cmriverside understood my post better than most on here.0 -
quarterhorseygirl wrote: »I sympathize, it's annoying to have this constant battle in your head while you're still working on getting to the good habits being, well..habits. And then you wonder, will it ever get easier? It's like wth, why me?! At least that's what goes through my head.
Yes thank you for empathizing. I know what to do just need other people to relate so I don't feel so "crazy" lol0
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