JUST FOR TODAY -- One Day at a Time .... Daily commitment thread for 2019
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Monday weigh-in:
Ultimate Goal weight: 154
First Goal weight: 159
Starting weight (this year): 167
Jan 7th: 167
Jan 14th: 166
Jan 28th: 163.25
Feb 4th: 164.25
Feb 11th: 163.75
Feb 25th: 166.75
Mar 4th: 164.75
Mar 11th: 167.75
Mar 18th: 165
Mar 25th: 164
Apr 1st: 162.75
Apr 15th: 164.25
May 13th: 166.25
May 20th: 165.75
Jun 10th: 167.5
Jun 17th: 164.75
Jun 24th: 167
Weight back up again, sigh. Not really surprising after my emotional binge on Friday. Plus, whilst I 'moderated' whilst out for the day with my friend on Saturday, I still ate a fair bit. I guess it shows how much I used to eat/ would still eat if I didn't control myself!
Back on it this week. I have a few social occasions this week which will make things challenging but I'll take it one day at a time and will keep pushing at this mindful moderation!4 -
Today's commitments:
- Log everything I eat
- Stick to food plan
- Be in the green with a deficit
- 4 bottles water
- No alcohol
- Exercise DVD
- No eating whilst standing
- Savour every bite
- Talk back to sabotaging thoughts
- Give myself credit!
- Stay positive
- 45+ minute lunch break
- Read response cards x2
- Meditate
- 2+ of French podcast, reading, Duolingo
- Talk to boyfriend in French
- Finish work by 7pm
- Quality time with boyfriend
- Gratitude journal
- Lights off by 11
Weekly calorie balance: Clean slate
Words for 2019: Mindful Moderation
June challenge (Logging/ Meditation):
June 10th:
June 11th:
June 12th:
June 13th:
June 14th:
June 15th:
June 16th:
June 17th:
June 18th:
June 19th:
June 20th:
June 21st:
June 22nd:
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JFT Monday
1. Log all food
2. Add more protein to diet
3. Drink 150oz water
4. Try to eat healthy dinner despite limited options2 -
Good morning! I am back at it today. I've been binging all weekend but I think I needed it for my sanity. I am definitely extremely bloated right now so I don't dare weigh myself for a while.. Lol.
I'm just trying to go in with a positive mindset, I'm ready to start making real progress again.
JFT 6/24:
1. Give Rukia her a.m. pills 😁
2. Stay within calorie goal
3. Finish traffic course
4. Go for a walk at lunch
5. Finish work at 5:30
6. Buy groceries
7. Cook dinner
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Argh...I wrote responses to many of you, then accidentally closed the tab.
Now I don't have the time to rewrite it, so I'll just send you all a big hug. I hope you're all doing good, taking care of yourself, loving yourself and making the best of the day.
Last week I was eating low-calorie for most of the week (because of the light sickness), but on the weekend there were some family celebrations, so indulging in food was inevitable. I feel huge today, but I know it's just a feeling, not reality (after only two days of eating over my calories). Today I am getting back to my habits, which means:
- drinking a lot of water and only water (besides tea and coffee)
- avoiding junk snacks for the rest of the day
- eating light dinner
I want to eat less because I'd like to lose weight, but not only because of it...I want to eat less because I feel much better when I do. It's actually much more enjoyable mode of being when you feel light and when you move easier.5 -
So sorry I’ve not checked in for a while. Also no time to read back.
Update:
Just wanted to give y’all an update. I hope and I can start back soon. I moved my parents from Tennessee to Texas. Lots of worriesAnd issues. My mother and father are both worse ever been. I have managed to maintain dieting pretty well so, I have dropped a few more pounds. Also, didn’t realize until I just looked down at my Fitbit that I guess I’ve been doing lots walking.over 12,000 steps yesterday. Hope to be back soon. I hope y’all have all been doing well.
Jft watch diet & try not to stress.7 -
JFT - Sunday June 23 - Determined
2.5L of water - 2 which is closer than I have been doing.
Calories in green, Log Accurately -
Walk 1 Mile -
Squats -
5 Fruits and Veggies - 3/5
Only 1 evening Snack -
5 something at bathroom break -
Something on commercials - Only watched tv while crafting
Write in Journal -
Do not disappoint myself, be conscious of my choices -
JFT - Monday June 24 - Determined
2.5L of water
Calories in green, Log Accurately
Walk 1 Mile
Squats
5 Fruits and Veggies
Only 1 evening Snack
5 something at bathroom break
Something on commercials
Write in Journal
Do not disappoint myself, be conscious of my choices
I am hoping to have a good week food wise, I thought I would at least be getting my walks in because of work, but the weather is not cooperating. It might be a good thing today as I woke up with a charlie horse this morning. I think that is due to not enough water over the last few days. I'm working on that today.
I'll check in later if I have a minute. I'm training so no time to be on social media at work.
4 -
Stats...
2018SW on 1/1/18: 175.4 lb
1/8/2018: 174.6
1/15/2018: 175.8
1/22/2018: 177.2
1/29/2018: 176.6
2/5/2018: 178
2/12/2018: 176.8
2/19/2018: 176.2
2/26/2018: 176.4
3/5/2018: 174.0
4/16/2018: 177.8
4/30/2018: 179.4
5/7/2018: 176.6
5/14/2018: 174.6
5/29/2018: 176.6 (Memorial Day 4-day weekend in Indiana at mom's. Ate out for every meal and got no exercise at all)
6/4/2018: 176.6 (I am satisfied with this since it could have been much worse with grandson's graduation/18th birthday party, PLUS my husband's birthday and his DQ Ice Cream cake down in our freezer)
=============2018 Half-way Mark=================
7/4/2018 180 lb I have not been drinking water. I have been eating a lot of salt. I have been having issues and going to PT for lower back and hip pain. Not excuses, but this is what I think happened with this weight gain.
7/16/2018 178.8 lb
9/3/2018 179.3 lb
10/1/2018 180.6 lb (disappointed I'm in 180's again, but happy I'm down from the 184 lbs I weighed about a week ago.) Boy, I really need to get better about keeping these stats current!
10/8/2018 181 lb (weight not going down, but I started daily walks and starting to FEEL better so that is a step in right direction)
10/12/18 179.8
10/22/18 180.8
11/5/18 183 -- Have been emotional eating and just not caring. Been depressed. Need to pull out of this. No excuses!
11/12/18 183.6
11/17/18 186 lbs Took this weight on Saturday for some reason and was totally flabbergasted! Highest weight of my lifetime! Really need to pay attention to nibbles and water intake
11/19/18 182.6 MUCH BETTER. Been paying attention to water intake (8 oz blue cup by sink). Mindful choices. Following Beck's Diet Solution closely.
12/3/18 183.8 lbs
12/10/18: 182.2 lbs
2019 Very disappointed that I went the opposite direction but I am feeling very optimistic that this will be the year I get more active and take some weight off! Theme this year is TENACITY!
1/1/2019 184
1/11/2019 183
1/18/2019 183.8
1/25/2019 185
2/08/2019 188.6
2/10/2019 189.9 HW ever.
2/25/2019 186.2
3/08/2019 184.6
3/15/2019 182.8
3/22/2019 180.8
3/29/2019 180.2
4/01/2019 180.2 Have been faithfully logging food all of March and making mindful choices. 😄
4/15/2019 184 😞 Mindless emotional eating strikes again.
5/27/2019 184.6 😞 I guess I should be happy it's only 0.6 lb over 6-week period of time.
6/03/2019 185.4 😞 Still going the wrong way. Dairy Queen ice cream cake this weekend for husband's birthday didn't help I'm sure.
6/24/2019 183.4 YEA!!! Finally going in the right direction! 🙂
Mini NSV Goals are to:Be able to wear my wedding ring
Be able to wear more fitted blouses
Be able to tuck shirts in comfortably
Have waist of pants be loose enough to be comfortable
Be able to walk with friends and not be out of breath
Activity of some sort 5 of 7 days per week
Lose chicken wing flab on my arms and look decent in sleeveless shirts
Get off some of my medications and improve lab results
Less joint pain due to less inflammation
Be able to jog, even if it is slowly
Scale Mini Goals:Mini goal <180
Mini goal <175
Mini goal: <170
Mini goal: <165
Mini goal: <160
Mini goal: <155
Mini goal: <150
Mini goal: <145
Ultimate goal: 140 lbs
Height: 5'4 1/2"
Age: 59 years old5 -
Happy Monday!
6 -
No posting over weekend for me. Nice to take breaks from all. the. tech. Kept very active / busy around house. On Sat. hung 2 loads of clothes & 1 of sheets on line, walked around farmers market for over 19,000 steps on Fitbit. Walked dog 7.65 miles in 2 days = happy dog. Had wonderful times with hubby. Unfortunately that included ice cream both days... logged all. the. food. (June challenge Good/Bad/Ugly) Back at JFT starting now.
JFT M 6/24
1) X-trained (weights/circuit) before work
2) Move hourly / stairs breaks / 5 somethings
3) Log all food G/B/U / meals & snacks prelogged / stick w/ plans & NO snacking after supper / net calories zero / 14c water
4) Post JFT weekly w-i update (think I forgot last week)
5) Plod on with GA-S(P) ~ nice progress on F and want to keep momentum going
6) Evening: wash towels as soon as home from work / wash dishes / prep overnight oats / balance bank accounts / update budget / other?
7) Unplug 9:00 / FLOSS / RETAINERS / set/verify 5:40 alarm / bed & tv off 10:20 (walk dog before work T)0 -
Weekly Weigh-In = When I'm active I eat back calories. My weaknesses: I love food... my sweet tooth, especially chocolate... portion control... FOMO (Fear of Missing Out). Saturday a.m. is my MFP weigh-in logging day, and I peek occasionally other days. My digital scale only shows half pound increments & I'm too cheap to buy a fancier scale. No goal dates set ~ this is not a diet but my lifestyle.
Age 61, 5'4.5"
GW #1: 150 in a livable way = It's. Not. A. Diet.
GW #2: 145 normal BMI
UG maintain: 145 - 150 [Need to be realistic! Revised from 140 - 145]
11/5/15 = 195.0 joined MFP with no real plan except It's. Not. A. Diet.
1/10/17 = 185.5 clearly not a regular on MFP / joined JFT, best group ever!
5/31/17 = 180.5 two end of month celebrations / committed to posting weekly weigh-in06/03 = 177.509/02/17 = 170.0 Woohoo! Officially overweight, not obese
06/10 = 179.5 pre-10K spaghetti supper night before
06/17 = 179.5 numerous meals away from home, several occasions w/ alcohol, happy no gain
06/24 = 178.0 fluctuated during week, but ended ok
07/01 = 176.0 Yay!!! Achieved June goal to stay <180
07/08 = 177.5 oops
07/15 = 176.5
07/22 = 175.0
07/29 = 174.0 saw at least one daily w-i below 174
08/05 = 174.5 dined out for Girls Day Out & ate Dad's cooking & baking
08/12 = 173.5 scale flirted with even lower numbers on daily weigh-ins
08/19 = 173.5 had couple of high calorie days
08/26 = 172.0 kind of a surprise09/09 = 171.5 backsliding, ack!12/09/17 = 158.5 surprised to say the least / first time in 10 years my weight is 1-5-anything!
09/16 = 169.5 yay, the middle number is a six!
09/23 = 168.5 have lots challenges in upcoming week
09/30 = 167.0 met Sept goal to stay under 170
10/07 = 166.0
10/14 = 166.5 dined out 2 days with adult beverages plus wine & cheesecake at spa
10/21/17 = 166.5 dined out 2 days plus food day in office / no gain is good [joined Just Give Me 10 Days challenge (daily w/i)]
10/28 = 164.5 very active week & watched CICO / reached October goal of 165
11/04 = 163.0 wow, really surprised at this, daily fluctuations very up and down this week
11/11 = 164.5 this is temporary b/c very high sodium yesterday
11/18 = 162.0 big surprise, especially b/c I weigh myself daily and didn't see this all week
11/25 = 163.0 no surprise after 2 no-logging-food days (parade day and Thanksgiving), just glad not worse
12/02 = 161.0 Jingle Bell 5K day / 44:37 chip time & ave. pace 14:22 & very happy!12/16 = 158.0 no work parties or food days & stuck with CICO02/17/18 = 153.0 thrilled with annual physical on 2/15/18: BP 110/68, pulse 64 and BMI 26.14
12/23 = 157.5 no "workouts" but shoveled snow & snowshoed, busy with Christmas preparations
12/30 = 159.0 Christmas Day no food/beverages logged
01/06/18 = 159.0 New Year's Eve hubby & I splurged on treats & beverages (at home), and I did not log...totally worth it!
01/13 = 157.0 big surprise! Yesterday evening, walked in Frenzy on the Fox 5K in 47:26 & pace 15:19. Very happy with my time, wore layers of clothes in 10 degrees & NNW 12 mph wind, fun event.
01/20 = 156.5
01/27 = 156.5 maintaining / not a bad thing
02/03 = sick / no weigh in
02/10 = 152.5 unhealthy loss due to illness / I know weight will go back up & I'm totally fine with that02/24 = 154.0 little out of control last week, but at goal for the month05/26/18 = 153.0 Health Risk Assessment 5/15/18 ~ BMI 25.6
03/03 = 155.5 oops / still lower than before I was sick
03/10 = 153.5 back on track
03/17 = 152.5
03/24 = 153.0 evening snacks & two days straight of 8 hr seminars (+ lots of sitting)
03/31 = 153.5 pre-10K spaghetti supper night before / Badger State Brewing 10K 1:30:28.82 and average pace 14:35
04/07 = 154.5 ack ~ ate Easter candy most evenings
04/14 = 153.5 Day 1 of record-setting blizzard ~ yuck! Followed by day 2 of blizzard, then snow day (no work / still shoveling & plowing) on Monday ~ in APRIL ~ yikes!
04/21 = 153.5 after such weird week & daily weight fluctuations, happy to maintain
04/28 = 152.0
05/05 = 153.5 kinda stalled three months + feeling hungry more often ~ since w/i 10# of goal, changed MFP setting to lose 1/2 lb. per week & see how it goes
05/12 = 153.5 ok with this ~ think changing my MFP setting, and having more net calories to play with, is agreeing with me ~ I'm not so hungry all the time
05/19 = 154.0 drinks (2 margaritas) & dinner w/ BFF night before + enjoyed everything!06/02 = 153.0 basically in maintenance for now ~ I'll take it!12/29/18 = 159.5 stayed 1-5-anything over holidays & vacation
06/09 = 152.5 Bellin Run 10K 1:28:12 split time 45:03 ave. pace 14:12 ~ beat goal of < 1:30
06/16 = 152.0
06/23 = 156.0 end of vacation week & lots of eating out
06/30 = 155.5
07/07 = 156.0 post-vacation w/i net calories not. so. much. Ack!
07/14 = 154.5 prelogging & sticking w/ plan helps
07/21 = 154.5 Packers 5K 44:50 ave pace 14:26 min/mile ~ beat goal < 45:00
07/28 = 157.5 peanut M&M attacks (eek) + dinner out w/ SIL/niece (yum!) + staff luncheon (ick)
08/03 = 155.5 started Evening Snack Challenge on JFT
08/11 = 158.0 stressful week (job crap ~ hubby's & my own) , Chinese buffet 1 evening & Feast with the Beasts (so worth it!)
08/18 = 157.5 saw 156.0 during week ~ evening snack challenge not. so. good.
08/25 = 156.0 prelogged as much as possible & CICO getting better
09/01 = 154.5 included Taste on Broadway & office relocation so packing & moving boxes ~ very pleased
09/08 = 157.5 too many office bday indulgences / City Stadium 5K for Veterans 44:27 & ave. pace 14:16 ~ beat goal of < 44:30
09/15 = 156.0
09/22 = 155.5 maybe lower if not for Pizza Ranch prairie pizza & wine at BFF's the night before
09/29 = 154.0
10/06 = 155.0 may include water retention in muscles b/c resumed home version of weights & circuit-training day before
10/13 = 157.0 birthday treats & adult beverages / walked in Run for the Hill of It 5K in 48:13 pace 15:32 & hill 2:01 ~ beat both time (part unpaved trail with sloppy conditions due to 5" rain over preceding week) & hill (finish is UP a steep sledding hill) from last year and learned only 25 out of 267 participants finished the hill < 1 min.
10/20 = 155.0
10/27 = 158.0 oops... lots of leaf-raking the evening before + too. much. snacking.
11/03 = 156.5 better planning / stopped evening snacking (mostly)
11/10 = 156.0 basically stuck in maintenance mode ~ not the worst thing
11/17 = 157.0
11/24 = 159.5 Thanksgiving week & paid time off with hubby ~ def going in wrong direction ~ oops
12/01 = 157.5 Jingle Bell 5K 45:38 & ave. pace 14:42 ~ not bad
12/08 = 157.0
12/15 = 156.5 clearly in maintenance mode all year ~ not exactly the plan but I'm ok with this for now ~ really happy to stay 1-5-anything
12/22 = 155.5 surprised by this ~ maybe due to much later than normal weigh-in (late start to the day)
01/05/19 = 157.5
01/12 = 158.0 Frenzy on the Fox 5K 1/11 with friends ~ not timed / MapMyWalk 54:19
01/19 = 158.0 maintained even with evening snacking & skipped workouts
01/26 = 157.5
02/02 = 158.5 hubby's traditional bday dinner + leftovers + evening snacking ~ oops
02/09 = 158.5 ok with no gain / Seroogy's Valentine 5K 48:34:89 & ave. pace 15:89 in below zero temps & icy mile 2
02/16 = 158.0
02/23 = 160.0 oops... deserved, net cals & sodium def red prior 3 days. Annual physical 2/26 159.6 fully clothed.
03/02 = 159.5
03/09 = 157.5
03/16 = 158.0 feeling unwell & no workouts all week
03/23 = 157.5 finally feeling better
03/31 = 160.5 posting Sun. month end w/i ~ too many days, net calories RED. Badger State Brewing 10K 3/30 in 1:28:14 & ave. pace 14:12 and beat goal < 1:30
04/06 = 160.0 saw 158.5 during week
04/13 = 159.5
Hiatus from MFP 4/17 - 4/29 (Easter 4/21)
05/04 = 161.5 logging again starting 4/30
05/11 = 163.0 ack
05/18 = 163.0 no gain
05/25 = 163.0 could be worse
06/01 = 162.0
06/08 = 162.0 pre-race spaghetti night before / Bellin Run 10K 1:29:54 split 44:13 ave. pace 14:29
06/15 = 164.0 during week ate at fast food, cafe (brunch), pub (happy hour), seminar (lunch), dinner at BFF's (sangria)
06/22 = 162.5 better eating & tracking
“Start by doing what’s necessary, then what’s possible, and suddenly you are doing the impossible.” Francis of Assisi4 -
nlmackey98 wrote: »
JFT Sunday
- up early so I can have breakfast before church 👎 Nope
- Sunday School & Church👍 Yep, it was good today
- Quick night to eat <300 cal 👎 under 400, but skipped breakfast.
- Catch a matinee at the local playhouse, then go out to a new restaurant.
- No Alcohol
- Cals within maintenance ~1650. Barely
- Bible study, I’m in Job so it’s a struggle: I got through the day's assignment. Man I hate reading Job
JFT Monday
- Work by 8:00 8:15 is close enough
- Get started on a few tests first thing because they take FOR-EV-ER...
- Breakfast <300 Yes but didn't eat breakfast...
- Finalize paperwork for my dads life insurance and 401K. They aren't much, but it's nice that he left them to me. Meet with HR at his company Wednesday, then my part should be over.
- Lunch <300 Yes but a protein bar really didn't cut it.
- Step 2 of testing x 2
- Write a letter to a friend, who may no longer be a friend
- Therapist after work.
- Dinner in cal allotment
- Laundry
- Work on Bible reading list. Chronologically Job comes in part way through Genesis.
- Gratitude Journal
- Bed by 10:30 - In bed not on couch or in big cozy chair.
So I screwed up a 30+ year friendship pretty bad. I didn't even know until I was blind-sided by angry accusations. Even after reading what she wrote I thought she was exaggerating. At first, I truly thought when she said that we have a problem, I thought she meant with her husband as they have been struggling.
Anyway, I wrote a reply based on something I thought I could say. Something like "I often have a hard time believing that people would pray for me because I don't deserve it." That did not go over well. She said I was trying to change my words and make it less awful. Still I didn't remember saying the things she claimed, "I laugh when you say you pray because I don't believe you." Then I asked her if she even believed in God. These are very vile things. I can't imagine saying to my worst enemy. I had "talked" to her regularly over the past couple of months, and nothing ever seemed wrong. As I said my response was not right. She "yelled" at me some more. Told me I'd done it this time and unfriended me on facebook before I could even look back through the thread or form a response.
I looked back through our conversation threads. I found back on April 17. I did say those things I could not even imagine saying. I have no explanation for them, other than I wasn't myself. Which I wasn't. March, April and May were very unstable times for me mentally. At that time my meds were off, I was drinking, I was cutting and then I was begging husband not to wake up my daughter so he could take me to the hospital. I know these things because they are in the same thread with the vile statements. She even mentions multiple times that I'm not thinking straight, that my meds are off and I need to put the razor blades away.
She says she questions our friendship because I should know these things about her and asks who gave me the right to judge her. Well I do know her better than that. We've been friends for over 30 years. On the same note shouldn't she know me well enough to know I would never say those things if I was in my right mind. I have never even thought those things about her.
Any way, I have been feeling better for the past few weeks, but this situation makes me sick to my stomach. How do you apologize for doing something if you don't know why you said it? How do I apologize for hurting her without blaming my mental illness? What right do I have to be angry with her about the way she approached this?
Now I need to make amends, but I don't really know how. I did say them. I can't change them. Being mentally impaired and struggling to fight through the darkness is no excuse. My meds being off is no excuse. Even after reading these things, I don't remember them and I certainly have no idea what reason I would have for saying them. Then there is a part of me that is angry that she waited 2 months and then blind-sided me and attacked me giving me no chance to even try to smooth things over. I can't believe she doesn't know me well enough or value our friendship enough to at least listen.
Thanks once again for letting me vent. Hope y'all don't think less of me because of this. - Nikki7 -
nlmackey98 wrote: »nlmackey98 wrote: »
JFT Sunday
- up early so I can have breakfast before church 👎 Nope
- Sunday School & Church👍 Yep, it was good today
- Quick night to eat <300 cal 👎 under 400, but skipped breakfast.
- Catch a matinee at the local playhouse, then go out to a new restaurant.
- No Alcohol
- Cals within maintenance ~1650. Barely
- Bible study, I’m in Job so it’s a struggle: I got through the day's assignment. Man I hate reading Job
JFT Monday
- Work by 8:00 8:15 is close enough
- Get started on a few tests first thing because they take FOR-EV-ER...
- Breakfast <300 Yes but didn't eat breakfast...
- Finalize paperwork for my dads life insurance and 401K. They aren't much, but it's nice that he left them to me. Meet with HR at his company Wednesday, then my part should be over.
- Lunch <300 Yes but a protein bar really didn't cut it.
- Step 2 of testing x 2
- Write a letter to a friend, who may no longer be a friend
- Therapist after work.
- Dinner in cal allotment
- Laundry
- Work on Bible reading list. Chronologically Job comes in part way through Genesis.
- Gratitude Journal
- Bed by 10:30 - In bed not on couch or in big cozy chair.
So I screwed up a 30+ year friendship pretty bad. I didn't even know until I was blind-sided by angry accusations. Even after reading what she wrote I thought she was exaggerating. At first, I truly thought when she said that we have a problem, I thought she meant with her husband as they have been struggling.
Anyway, I wrote a reply based on something I thought I could say. Something like "I often have a hard time believing that people would pray for me because I don't deserve it." That did not go over well. She said I was trying to change my words and make it less awful. Still I didn't remember saying the things she claimed, "I laugh when you say you pray because I don't believe you." Then I asked her if she even believed in God. These are very vile things. I can't imagine saying to my worst enemy. I had "talked" to her regularly over the past couple of months, and nothing ever seemed wrong. As I said my response was not right. She "yelled" at me some more. Told me I'd done it this time and unfriended me on facebook before I could even look back through the thread or form a response.
I looked back through our conversation threads. I found back on April 17. I did say those things I could not even imagine saying. I have no explanation for them, other than I wasn't myself. Which I wasn't. March, April and May were very unstable times for me mentally. At that time my meds were off, I was drinking, I was cutting and then I was begging husband not to wake up my daughter so he could take me to the hospital. I know these things because they are in the same thread with the vile statements. She even mentions multiple times that I'm not thinking straight, that my meds are off and I need to put the razor blades away.
She says she questions our friendship because I should know these things about her and asks who gave me the right to judge her. Well I do know her better than that. We've been friends for over 30 years. On the same note shouldn't she know me well enough to know I would never say those things if I was in my right mind. I have never even thought those things about her.
Any way, I have been feeling better for the past few weeks, but this situation makes me sick to my stomach. How do you apologize for doing something if you don't know why you said it? How do I apologize for hurting her without blaming my mental illness? What right do I have to be angry with her about the way she approached this?
Now I need to make amends, but I don't really know how. I did say them. I can't change them. Being mentally impaired and struggling to fight through the darkness is no excuse. My meds being off is no excuse. Even after reading these things, I don't remember them and I certainly have no idea what reason I would have for saying them. Then there is a part of me that is angry that she waited 2 months and then blind-sided me and attacked me giving me no chance to even try to smooth things over. I can't believe she doesn't know me well enough or value our friendship enough to at least listen.
Thanks once again for letting me vent. Hope y'all don't think less of me because of this. - Nikki
@nlmackey98 - definitely don’t think any less of you. I can understand why you feel so hurt. I guess perhaps your friend had this resentment bubbling away for a while and she has lashed out at you. Hopefully she will come to her senses and realise that you didn’t mean what you said. Could you try writing to her to explain how bad things were at that time, in case she has forgotten? And in the meantime, remember that you are loved and valued and worthy of unconditional love. Those who really know you should have faith in you. Hang in there x3 -
JFT 6/24
Late getting goals set!
Going to go for a walk then a swim
Healthy food choices
Lots of water
Dinner at home
Bed early
Busy work day and still feeling tired from being ill-going to just take a long walk to the neighborhood pool, swim for a bit and then walk home. Will pop in later to see how everyone is doing!1 -
I’m very late to today’s party. I’m mulling doing a half marathon and this morning decided to aim for my longest run ever. I did it! 18km (11.2 miles) in 1hr 44. Even starting before 5:20am it was hot, so I’m super proud of myself. But all kinds of sore now!
The distances I’m running suggest I can do a half marathon. But when I think about it I feel so scared! I know that’s silly. Logically I can see that I am pretty fit, but inside I still sometimes feel like the unathletic fat girl who would never be able to run. I definitely need to work on my confidence. Any tips please send them my way.
On to the goals...
Sunday goals recap:
- Pick up P from sleepover ✅
- Head to parents place for lunch and pick up L ✅
- Laundry and finish cleaning ❎ some but not all
- June challenge ✅ was about 50 cals over but I logged it all!
- lay out running gear ✅
- Bed by 9:30 ✅
Monday goals:
- morning run ✅ longest ever at 18km! 1:44
- pack snacks and schoolbags ✅
- GaG on arrival ✅
- home lunchtime for car and shake ✅
- hydrate! ✅
- call new school with reference for IW ✅
- groceries on way home ✅
- kids hair wash
- June challenge
- bed by 9:30
Hope you’ve all had a good day. About to go and get my girls sorted then settle down for a well-earned rest. X3 -
The distances I’m running suggest I can do a half marathon. But when I think about it I feel so scared! I know that’s silly. Logically I can see that I am pretty fit, but inside I still sometimes feel like the unathletic fat girl who would never be able to run. I definitely need to work on my confidence. Any tips please send them my way.
My husband's average half time is 1:30, and he's qualified for Boston 4x (run 2x). He is a beast. Even he struggles to find his groove the first mile or 2, just push through that. My daughter is running her first half this year and he told her "If you can run 10, you can finish a half". He has her training only up to 11 miles.
When I run, especially hills I have a mantra "fast & light". When my legs feel like lead, "fast & light". It helps me some. I also have a tendency to get a cadence locked in my head, and just try to keep it going.
When I ran my first half, the furthest I had ever run was 10 miles. The day of the race I was nervous as all get out. I had the added pressure of running with my cousin. He and I have always competed over everything. About 9 miles in, I felt a wall of doubt, but I heard the people around me with similar fears and I decided if I quit it would give them the excuse to quit. That kept me going. I finished in 2:01:59.
My second half marathon, about 5 months later, I didn't train for at all. I decided to do it a week before the race because my daughter would be at a gymnastics skills camp there. My long runs those days was ~5 miles, but I was extremely fit and very active. I just wasn't running much. That morning, my husband dropped me off in a strange city and my doubt was crazy high. Well, I'm stubborn and highly competitive so I played a little game my husband taught me. Ok, not really a game, just knowing how to size up the competition (realistically). So basically, I picked 3 women. One was a stretch goal (she dropped me at the 10 mile water stop). The next two were my best guess for similar times. When the first lady left me, I was pushed by the notion that one of those other two women would catch me and pass me. I did not want that to happen. I finished a little slower than I'd hoped, 2:01:05, but I finished. The one lady crossed about 5 minutes after me. The other lady was sitting on a picnic table eating a Popsicle when I finished. Guess she was ahead of me and stayed that was.
I guess for me, what I needed was a reason to push when my mind said "This is too much for you". Find your incentive. For me it was those around me, whether I was competing with them, trying to stay ahead of them or trying to be an encouragement by not quitting.
My half goal was under 2:00. At each race doubt caught up to me in the homestretch. Literally I could see the finish line and I just stopped. I thought I was way behind pace and I just broke emotionally. If I hadn't done that I would have met my goal. Don't give up your goals to fear. You've got this.
3 -
Just found this thread and love the idea!
Late afternoon here but goals for today were/are:- Focus on eating whole foods more than worrying about calories/macros
- 12k + steps
- Get a kettlebell workout in
- 7+ hrs of sleep
- Be mindful
I will report back tomorrow3 -
-
ZizzyBumble wrote: »Monday 24 June
Log accurately
Stay in the green
5 fruit and veg
Fitbit excercise goals
Jan challenge
Feb challenge
Mar challenge
Apr challenge
May challenge
Jun challenge
A new day at the start of a new week - no excuses today for me
A good day for me.
@nimackey98 I'm sorry but your friend's response to you does not sound fair. I hope she can understand your struggles and move forwards, 30 years is a long time and should have space for understanding and forgiveness. Hugs for you.
4 -
JFT 6/24
Going to go for a walk then a swim
Healthy food choices
Lots of water
Dinner at home
Bed early -- Not bed time yet but I am definitely going to do this.
Feeling a little better this evening, and definitely tired out. I'll absolutely be going to bed early! It was a hectic day trying to get some things accomplished since I was gone all weekend. Went for a brisk walk then did a few laps, spent some quality time with my family. Managed to stay under calories today and eat pretty clean so hoping the scale goes back down as the water retention goes away.
2
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