Do you want people to comment on your weight loss?

2

Replies

  • Live4ADandL
    Live4ADandL Posts: 1 Member
    edited September 2019
    I don't need people to comment for my health and fitness motivation at all, I'm very self motivated, but I do actually usually like comments and acknowledgement, as long as they are positive! I've gotten many nice comments and it feels good to me. However, I do not like the negative comments, such as that I look sick, asking if I eat, telling me I'm wasting away. If you don't have something nice to say, then don't say it!

    I've had the too thin or wasting away comments years ago when I lost weight. Of course I ate enough and exercise and my B.M.I was still normal range too. Sometimes I think it's just jealousy, other times it's the shock of how quickly 'to them they think you lost weight. Also it's easier to notice weight loss in faces when it comes off fairly quick or a steady pace so people just by that too. I'm in the process again of losing more weight this time after my third child and gaining a bunch from not trying to eat healthy and my SO liking to cook together. Anyway...I'm sure I'll get the good with the bad comments again. My health has always been decent with the weight gain but definitely felt better at my lighter weight range! I also want to avoid health issues so I need to lose weight. My goal right now is 100lbs. Years ago I lost at most 40lbs in about 3 months doing low carb and exercise, so not an abnormal rate for most people who are actively focused. I'm not sure why other people make someone's weight their business.
    So yes, I like positive comments....but could do without the negative comments from people who typically keep failing at their own goal so they bring others down.
  • kimothyschma
    kimothyschma Posts: 209 Member
    edited September 2019
    No. I don’t like knowing that other people are looking at my body. I know that they are, but I prefer not to be reminded. Except for my husband, he’s allowed.
  • csplatt
    csplatt Posts: 639 Member
    I only want my close friends to say something. For a more distant peer, I don’t like the thought of them thinking about / commenting on my shape, beauty, etc. This would include coworkers. A little creepy plus I don’t want to hear that they think my shape is up for discussion in general. Shouldn’t be high on things worth bringing up in conversation.
  • Katmary71
    Katmary71 Posts: 5,089 Member
    I agree that it's socially awkward. For the most part I just say thank you and try to change the topic unless they're asking questions. I was told the other day that I was wasting away before her eyes. THAT has me irritated, I'm eating right, working out, and smack in the middle of my height's weight range. I don't mind people saying something in a tasteful way but people say some weird stuff.
  • Katmary71
    Katmary71 Posts: 5,089 Member
    denjan333 wrote: »
    I honestly don’t think it’s appropriate to bring up peoples’ weight. I especially don’t appreciate when people start with the “you’re wasting away” garbage when you’re clearly still not even normal size. Just stop. I promise I won’t bring it up that you’re too skinny and flabby, or wrinkly, or you gained weight. To me, it’s all off limits conversation.

    I didn't read all the comments until after posting and just vented about "you're wasting away" crap! I got this 10lbs ago from an uncle and the other day from a nurse. I'm 5'4 and 130lbs, that's normal not wasting away. I've been called skinny and at first it bugged me as that's not the best sounding (I rather I look in shape or toned!), but have heard it enough that I think it's meant as a compliment. My favorite was when a neighbor told me I was looking and moving like a whole different person. Still weird to get comments but I'm 90lbs from my heaviest with a little over 35lbs this year so I'm getting used to it.
  • AnnPT77
    AnnPT77 Posts: 25,217 Member
    It's not a super big deal to me either way, within reason (by which I mean I don't particularly need unencouraged gushing about it, or dark hints about anorexia when I'm in the normal BMI range and eating 2000+ calories daily . . . but even that sort of thing pretty much rolls off).

    I get what some others have said about discomfort with other people noticing one's body, but if I've lost quite a lot of weight, and they haven't seen me while it was happening, I think there's no way for them not to notice: It's kind of the elephant that isn't in the room anymore. In those cases, I'd rather people said something, rather than just nervously looking me up and down as if they're wondering if I've been sick or something. That can be awkward, and make it hard to get on with the conversation.

    I'll admit to being amused when someone I hadn't seen in a few months said: "Ann, it's been quite some time since I've seen you . . . and I think I'm seeing less of you!" then just went on with normal conversation.
  • mom23mangos
    mom23mangos Posts: 3,072 Member
    I’ve never lost enough weight for people who see me clothed to really tell the difference. I have gotten comments like “You must workout.” Or “you lift, don’t you?” which I find flattering because again it’s nice to know that all the hard work I put in is noticeable.
  • ginnytez
    ginnytez Posts: 774 Member
    On the whole I don't mind the "you are looking good" sort of comments (especially on days when I feel really good). If someone comments "you're going to stop losing soon aren't you?" or something to that effect I just say "I'm just about there." Most of them are well-intentioned comments. Some are made by those who are jealous and come across as a dig, but I figure that is their deal, not mine.
  • thanos5
    thanos5 Posts: 513 Member
    it depends on the comment. i hate 'what's your secret?', then the blank look i get when i say i burn more calories than i eat. also not a huge fan of 'you're wasting away' and 'you're half a person'.

    but 'lookin good' doesn't bother me so much. oh wait, no one has said that...
  • Emmapatterson1729
    Emmapatterson1729 Posts: 1,298 Member
    For me, it depends on who the comment is coming from.

    If it's my daughter or boyfriend saying, "Damn, you've lost more" or "You're looking great, weightloss is showing."

    I know they're sincere and care about my health.

    People on MFP, especially friends list, who comment on progress, I like. Most are on the same mission or have been where I am and can still relate.

    Most others, I'm indifferent to.
  • happysquidmuffin
    happysquidmuffin Posts: 546 Member
    I’m very much an introvert but for certain things, I do like and want attention, and my weight is one of those things for some weird reason. It’s no secret to my family that I’m losing the baby weight and am very happy about it, but I also am hoping that my boss, who I haven’t seen in a few weeks and won’t see again for about 3 more, notices and comments on my weight loss at some point when I go back to work. I’m just proud of the changes I’ve made and want to hear the validation that I’m doing well, from others.
  • yayamom3
    yayamom3 Posts: 939 Member
    It doesn't really matter to me either way, although it does make me a little uncomfortable sometimes. But I would give just about anything for my mom to say something. I've lost 35 pounds and still waiting... She's not the mean or vindictive type. I just think she hasn't noticed for whatever reason.
  • TheMrWobbly
    TheMrWobbly Posts: 2,382 Member
    We are human beings - we want validation. We don't all need validation, yet it is nice to have it.

    Of course it can make us feel awkward at times though after the first couple you get used to just saying 'thank you' and moving the topic of conversation on. You may feel embarrassed in the first instance however you will think about it later in a nice way.

    For those who say you don't like as other people are looking at your body - people do genuine make polite comments just because they are nice especially when they know you are making an effort. Don't be offend that people actually take an interest in you.

    Personally on my third round of losing weight, 2 of which I gained it all back again, this one is entirely for me, only my view matters right now - though I still find it nice when others notice.
  • peachvine29
    peachvine29 Posts: 400 Member
    edited September 2019
    I don't need people to comment for my health and fitness motivation at all, I'm very self motivated, but I do actually usually like comments and acknowledgement, as long as they are positive! I've gotten many nice comments and it feels good to me. However, I do not like the negative comments, such as that I look sick, asking if I eat, telling me I'm wasting away. If you don't have something nice to say, then don't say it!

    I've had the too thin or wasting away comments years ago when I lost weight. Of course I ate enough and exercise and my B.M.I was still normal range too. Sometimes I think it's just jealousy, other times it's the shock of how quickly 'to them they think you lost weight. Also it's easier to notice weight loss in faces when it comes off fairly quick or a steady pace so people just by that too. I'm in the process again of losing more weight this time after my third child and gaining a bunch from not trying to eat healthy and my SO liking to cook together. Anyway...I'm sure I'll get the good with the bad comments again. My health has always been decent with the weight gain but definitely felt better at my lighter weight range! I also want to avoid health issues so I need to lose weight. My goal right now is 100lbs. Years ago I lost at most 40lbs in about 3 months doing low carb and exercise, so not an abnormal rate for most people who are actively focused. I'm not sure why other people make someone's weight their business.
    So yes, I like positive comments....but could do without the negative comments from people who typically keep failing at their own goal so they bring others down.

    I lost at a pretty slow rate actually, on an average of about half to at most one pound a week, so it really wasn't that quick either! It was a total of about 65 lbs. though since highest weight, I was 190 last February and now I'm 135.

    Really the only negative comments I think have just come from one person, this lady at my work, who says these really inappropriate things and I can't understand it. She's told me I'm looking pale, I look sick, has talked to coworkers telling them I look too skinny and tells me that they both think I need to stop losing, sees me preparing my lunch and says I'm glad you're eating, and she genuinely sounds concerned. I really don't think she's trying to be mean, she's just very clueless socially I guess?

    She asked how I lost weight and I told her calorie counting and she looked so confused and didn't really say anything. I don't get it and I try avoiding her at work because she makes me feel so uncomfortable. She's actually the manager of the department my director is considering pushing me towards. Don't really want to work for her lol!

    She is also overweight, I know she is interested in losing, maybe she is jealous or something and I just don't get her personality.
  • SuzySunshine99
    SuzySunshine99 Posts: 2,766 Member
    Very few people commented to me about it, which is fine with me. I'm not the type of person that likes attention or needs affirmation. The people who did say something, I was okay with that, too, but I just said "thanks" and then changed the subject.

    HOWEVER, here's what I didn't like....
    Many of my co-workers know my husband and work with him on various jobs. He told me that a lot of them commented to HIM about my weight loss. I found that a little creepy and awkward.
  • gabi_texanmom
    gabi_texanmom Posts: 201 Member
    denjan333 wrote: »
    I honestly don’t think it’s appropriate to bring up peoples’ weight. I especially don’t appreciate when people start with the “you’re wasting away” garbage when you’re clearly still not even normal size. Just stop. I promise I won’t bring it up that you’re too skinny and flabby, or wrinkly, or you gained weight. To me, it’s all off limits conversation.

    Yes! Why can't people understand that people's weight and appearance is off-limits? My mother has a bad habit of analyzing and scrutinizing my weight, size, appearance. It drives me nuts. I am ok with my hubby and daughters telling me they can see a difference or my hard work is paying off. But co-workers and casual aquaintances? No thank you.
  • threewins
    threewins Posts: 1,111 Member
    It depends. Only positive comments. However, someone I sat next to at work asked me "are you gaining weight?" and I am grateful that she did.
  • hmhill17
    hmhill17 Posts: 283 Member
    Depends on who says it. Random work person I barely know or parent at my kids' school who I only see at carpool then it might feel a little weird because it is kind of like this random person is watching me. At the same time, it would be good to hear that I've made enough progress that a person I barely know noticed it.

    I'd be more upset if someone I know well, whether I see them regularly or not, didn't notice a change.