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    What’s a red flag for you?

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    Replies

    • Posts: 149 Member
      GymGoddessGoals wrote: »
      show previous quotes

      I don't see those things as something expected so much as chivalry. Equality is one thing. However, being a gentleman is another. If you ask me out for dinner, then yes you should pay for dinner. Vice versa; if I asked you out then the expense of the date belongs to me. Chivalry also goes both ways. That is equality.

      If we are walking into a building together then it's chivalrous to hold the door and allow me to walk in first. I don't need to be treated like a queen and I certainly wouldn't think I am owed those things. However, I wouldn't likely continue seeing a person who doesn't do these things. And I certainly would not go on a 2nd date with someone who asked me out but then expected that I paid half of the expenses for the date.

      Agreed!!!!
    • Posts: 6,990 Member
      Motorsheen wrote: »
      The inability to possess accurate bus fare.

      If she wears the color mauve.

      I look great in Mauve actually.

    • Posts: 4,278 Member
      smantha32 wrote: »
      show previous quotes

      I look great in Mauve actually.

      is that like a dusty rose?
    • Posts: 2,648 Member
      JustReadTheInstructions wrote: »
      Everyone seems so rigid. This is why I don't date.

      Yea...sorry about that. I try not to be, but I am confused about dating, and get annoyed by my confusion. I stopped posting in here, and sent a message to gymgoddess instead. Just to stop derailing. :/
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    • Posts: 9,563 Member
      when someone wants you to house/pet-sit and keeps telling you over and over about all the cameras in their home and to "not worry, they don't watch them"...hmm...change outside in the yard or in a closet and shower in a bathing suit I'm thinking
    • Posts: 4,877 Member
      rickigageby wrote: »
      show previous quotes

      See being treated like a queen is more emotional for me. I don’t care for gifts or any of that. I just want him to show me that I’m the only woman he cares about. Tells me how lucky he is, etc. how a man should treat a woman. That’s what I considered being treated like a queen. (I don’t expect him to pay for anything or buy anything). I do the same back. If he treats me like a queen he will get treated like a king.

      Agreed. This is how I feel too.
    • Posts: 269,456 Member
      George_of_the_Jungle wrote: »
      show previous quotes

      I didn't think it was judgy. I'm not crazy abour her answer, demanding that much attention is red flaggy to me. Doesn't make it wrong, just isn't for me. I just wanted to point out that she was at least aware of it and took measures to make it a non issue.

      I feel what you're sayin on the rest. One of the reasons I don't really date is that there aren't too many women out there willing to be a 5th priority at best.

      It's not easy being a step parent. At one time I had my 4 kids and 4 step kids.
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    • Posts: 269,456 Member
      dodea48 wrote: »
      I thought you and caco_ethes were getting a room :)

      Me?

      Well , she is cute 😁
    • Posts: 840 Member
      Red flag, if she doesn’t like tacos



    • Posts: 1,307 Member
      caco_ethes wrote: »
      If he isn’t in favor of the Oxford comma

      ny6pqm76ou19.gif
    • Posts: 2,146 Member
      @mattig89ch sorry, I wont get that message. We aren't friends (as in we arent on each others FL) so the message won't go through.
    • Posts: 2,648 Member
      That....might actually explain why alot of the messages I've sent have gone un-answered. @GymGoddessGoals want to be friends and continue this discussion?
    • Posts: 2,146 Member
      @mattig89ch I'm always up for a good discussion.
    • Posts: 2,139 Member
      Eyes and weaknesses in the opposite gender
    • Posts: 2,139 Member
      George_of_the_Jungle wrote: »
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      For someone who likes eyes so much you go through some trouble to remain unseen. 😂

      It's actually been 0 trouble, literally, heheh. What's that old phrase? "Work smarter, not...well, just do less work" or something like that
    • Posts: 5,650 Member
      I wonder how someone's red flags change over time... both as they mature but also based on current circumstances/situations.
    • Posts: 33,069 Member
      jjpptt2 wrote: »
      I wonder how someone's red flags change over time... both as they mature but also based on current circumstances/situations.

      Based on some of these responses, I would really hope so.
    • Posts: 5,650 Member
      jjpptt2 wrote: »
      I wonder how someone's red flags change over time... both as they mature but also based on current circumstances/situations.

      For me, there was a time that I desperately wanted constant interaction and to be the focus and priority of another person. But I don't want that now. I'm curious how much of that is because I'm in a better place relative to my own person demons vs I have someone, I have love and companionship so it's easy to take that for granted.
    • Posts: 1,466 Member
      jjpptt2 wrote: »
      I wonder how someone's red flags change over time... both as they mature but also based on current circumstances/situations.

      I think so. I’m much more realistic of what I want and expect from a person than I was even a year ago.

      We grow, we change.
    • Posts: 149 Member
      I see people saying about wanting attention, and about how that’s a red flag. But I honestly feel like when first starting out a relationship, we all need attention for the relationship to flourish. Now after awhile the need for attention will go away.
    • Posts: 11,962 Member
      Reckoner68 wrote: »
      show previous quotes

      It's actually been 0 trouble, literally, heheh. What's that old phrase? "Work smarter, not...well, just do less work" or something like that

      You should be in the motivational poster business
    • Posts: 11,962 Member
      CanesGalactica wrote: »
      Red flags for any type of relationship (not exclusive to people I date/boink/whatever):
      • Any hint at controlling behavior and I'm out - been there, done that. No thanks.
      • Having stupid opinions about women in the workplace or what the role of a woman should/shouldn't be.
      • Needy, obsessive behaviors - Wanting to spend time with me is fine, but don't pester me at my place every day, interrupt my life with your needs and wants and make them sound more important than me getting what needs to be done, done.
      • Wanting constant contact. There will be days where I don't talk to folks. Doesn't mean I hate you, just means I'm busy or I don't particularly want to talk that day.
      • Asking possessive/aggressive questions or engaging in possessive behaviors - had a guy I dated hack into my email to read my emails (from more than a year prior) and then accuse me of sleeping with people or being in love with someone else. Like, no dude.. I'm always at your place or in class, when do I have time to go bang other dudes?
      • Expecting me to *do* something. Anything. Nope. You are your own person and I am mine. If I do something for you, it's because I care about you and want to do that thing for you.
      • If they belittle or demean people either to their face or even worse if it's behind their back, I'm outtie. I don't want to be around someone like that.
      • Drama. If you attract drama of any sort.. I'm out. I ain't got time for that *kitten*.
      • Constantly being late to agreed upon plans without valid reasons. I just assume you don't give a *kitten* about our relationship, so why should I?
      • Weird, off-putting behaviors toward minors. Pretty self explanatory.
      • Having expectations that I should wear makeup or that I should present myself "nicely" at all times because I'm a woman and otherwise, I'm irredeemable without said makeup. *kitten* you, you *kitten*.

      I think with most of the behaviors and observations listed, there's this fine line. Up to that line is ooookay (sort of), but cross it and it's a whole lotta nope from most of us.

      Hugging for use of boink
    • Posts: 2,646 Member
      CanesGalactica wrote: »
      • Any hint at controlling behavior and I'm out
      • Having stupid opinions about women in the workplace or what the role of a woman should/shouldn't be.
      • Obsessive behaviors
      • Asking possessive/aggressive questions or engaging in possessive behaviors
      • Expecting me to *do* something. Anything. Nope. You are your own person and I am mine. If I do something for you, it's because I care about you and want to do that thing for you.
      • If they belittle or demean people
      • Drama. If you attract drama of any sort.. I'm out. I ain't got time for that
      • Having expectations that I should wear makeup or that I should present myself "nicely" at all times because I'm a woman.

      YES to all of the above!

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