Ideal Number

Options
2456

Replies

  • KosmosKitten
    KosmosKitten Posts: 10,476 Member
    Options
    nooshi713 wrote: »
    I don’t really care as long as he’s honest and faithful. There is a good chance my number is less than his number.

    I stopped caring about this kind of thing past age 25 ish.

    You'd be surprised how many people my age and older give a damn about this and judge people harshly based on a number. :expressionless:
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,492 Member
    Options
    your_future_ex_wife wrote: »
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    your_future_ex_wife wrote: »
    idgaf. i mean that. i like what you said in a previous post about disease, babies, & drama. So long as he hasn’t procreated all over the place and can pass an sti screen and isn’t weird about sex, then the number doesn’t matter. unless his number is zero and he’s my age because i don’t have the wherewithal to unpack the whys of that.

    i don’t share my number because yes, people judge.

    I was with you right up until ‘weird ‘ .

    there’s weird and then there’s weird


    Phew.... thankfully, there's just a lowercase 'w' in weird.



    When the going get's weird, the weird get..... well, more weird.
  • ythannah
    ythannah Posts: 4,365 Member
    Options
    CanesGalactica wrote: »
    ythannah wrote: »
    I don't ask because it doesn't matter, all I care is that I am the only partner during the relationship.

    I resist telling because I don't think it should matter to anyone else. (I've only been asked once) If it mattered, I think I'd rethink that person as a partner. Seriously. I'm 55, am I supposed to have been celibate all these years?

    Okay, but what if a partner asked you these questions? Would you tell them or would you still omit doing so? Some people are just curious and don't actually judge you based on the number of sexual partners you've had, some do.. how do you determine which will and which won't?

    I'd want to know why they are asking... what meaning is the answer going to have for them? I don't think anyone is going to ask a woman my age for a number without having some level of preconceived judgement about what an "acceptable" answer is. The harder they push it, the more negative judgement is going to be attached to a number above their magic threshold. If it's just idle curiosity they're going to let it drop.

    I've heard a lot of men say that you need to double the number that a woman tells you because women all lie about their history. I guess I'd need to halve mine if it's going to be mentally adjusted anyway.
  • nooshi713
    nooshi713 Posts: 4,877 Member
    Options
    CanesGalactica wrote: »
    nooshi713 wrote: »
    I don’t really care as long as he’s honest and faithful. There is a good chance my number is less than his number.

    I stopped caring about this kind of thing past age 25 ish.

    You'd be surprised how many people my age and older give a damn about this and judge people harshly based on a number. :expressionless:

    Oh I know this is true. My dad once told me that no good man would want me if I had been with more than 1 or 2 men in my life.

  • This_far
    This_far Posts: 536 Member
    Options
    A man is whatever room he is in. Going a little old school Mad Men there but like that saying. When I was younger and dumber I got a voyeuristic thrill about asking.
  • KosmosKitten
    KosmosKitten Posts: 10,476 Member
    Options
    ythannah wrote: »
    CanesGalactica wrote: »
    ythannah wrote: »
    I don't ask because it doesn't matter, all I care is that I am the only partner during the relationship.

    I resist telling because I don't think it should matter to anyone else. (I've only been asked once) If it mattered, I think I'd rethink that person as a partner. Seriously. I'm 55, am I supposed to have been celibate all these years?

    Okay, but what if a partner asked you these questions? Would you tell them or would you still omit doing so? Some people are just curious and don't actually judge you based on the number of sexual partners you've had, some do.. how do you determine which will and which won't?

    I'd want to know why they are asking... what meaning is the answer going to have for them? I don't think anyone is going to ask a woman my age for a number without having some level of preconceived judgement about what an "acceptable" answer is. The harder they push it, the more negative judgement is going to be attached to a number above their magic threshold. If it's just idle curiosity they're going to let it drop.

    I've heard a lot of men say that you need to double the number that a woman tells you because women all lie about their history. I guess I'd need to halve mine if it's going to be mentally adjusted anyway.

    I believe a lot of people ask simply because they are curious. I wouldn't care about the number of partners, but I would want to know about their previous partners (if they were willing to tell me) because I am naturally curious and it helps inform me about the person I'm getting close to.

    Also, I love to hear stories.
  • KosmosKitten
    KosmosKitten Posts: 10,476 Member
    Options
    nooshi713 wrote: »
    CanesGalactica wrote: »
    nooshi713 wrote: »
    I don’t really care as long as he’s honest and faithful. There is a good chance my number is less than his number.

    I stopped caring about this kind of thing past age 25 ish.

    You'd be surprised how many people my age and older give a damn about this and judge people harshly based on a number. :expressionless:

    Oh I know this is true. My dad once told me that no good man would want me if I had been with more than 1 or 2 men in my life.

    Pfffft, then I am certifiably screwed by his standards. :laugh:
  • KosmosKitten
    KosmosKitten Posts: 10,476 Member
    Options
    This_far wrote: »
    A man is whatever room he is in. Going a little old school Mad Men there but like that saying. When I was younger and dumber I got a voyeuristic thrill about asking.

    Does the man actually exist though? Or the room for that matter? Or are they merely constructs?
  • This_far
    This_far Posts: 536 Member
    Options
    CanesGalactica wrote: »
    This_far wrote: »
    A man is whatever room he is in. Going a little old school Mad Men there but like that saying. When I was younger and dumber I got a voyeuristic thrill about asking.

    Does the man actually exist though? Or the room for that matter? Or are they merely constructs?

    Exists.
  • LAT1963
    LAT1963 Posts: 1,375 Member
    Options
    The more pertinent question is not about the number of partners, but about when the partner's last HIV and Hep C tests were and what were the results?
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,492 Member
    Options
    LAT1963 wrote: »
    The more pertinent question is not about the number of partners, but about when the partner's last HIV and Hep C tests were and what were the results?

    Test results?

    I always quizzed women about spelling and geography..... especially geography.

    You would be shocked to know how many women confused Vermont & New Hampshire on a simple geography overview.

    It was a complete deal breaker.
  • MoxyLeigh
    MoxyLeigh Posts: 433 Member
    Options
    I've never asked, though I do like to hear stories if they're volunteered. I'd only be concerned if somebody's "number" seemed like waaaaaayyyy more than anything I'd heard of, like they musta been having daily one night stands since early adulthood. And that's just cuz it'd suggest a personality/compatibility issue for me, not cuz I have a morality take on it.
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,492 Member
    Options
    My jersey number in high school was 76.

    In college it was 91.

    This has nothing to do with this thread.... I just thought you should know.
  • nooshi713
    nooshi713 Posts: 4,877 Member
    Options
    LAT1963 wrote: »
    The more pertinent question is not about the number of partners, but about when the partner's last HIV and Hep C tests were and what were the results?

    This.
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,492 Member
    Options
    nooshi713 wrote: »
    LAT1963 wrote: »
    The more pertinent question is not about the number of partners, but about when the partner's last HIV and Hep C tests were and what were the results?

    This.

    Can you find Estonia on a world map ?
  • ArmyVeteranM1A1C
    ArmyVeteranM1A1C Posts: 1,045 Member
    edited October 2019
    Options
    CanesGalactica wrote: »
    So there have been a few studies/surveys on this and I'm sure most are kinda inconclusive based on the fact that people tend to lie or omit the truth. However, I was curious based on other threads floating on here:
    • What is the preferred threshold of previous partners that a person has?
    • How do you perceive people who exceed this "magical" number?
    • Why do you perceive them that way?
    • Would you consider sleeping with someone if they had a higher number of partners than your preferred number?
    • Do you think women or men are judged more harshly based on these numbers? (in this day and age, that is)?
    • If you don't mind sharing, what is *your* number of previous partners?

    For myself? I have no magic number. I don't care how many people you've been with in the past, although I might be curious about your previous relationships from a "getting to know you" perspective. I also wouldn't really care about that number and if it exceeded my own. If I had an interest in that person, that interest is happening regardless of who they banged in the past, so...

    I'll share my number later on when I get some responses and feedback to my questions. ;)

    Another unexpectedly interesting thought provoking thread
    So I’ll jump in here
    Bullet by bullet
    • I have no threshold for previous partners and will not ask, don’t really care, have never asked but in my experience many woman like to know and tell in a relationship
    • I have no number to exceed, but if a woman constantly commented on a long list of sexual partners I would be curious about the circumstances.
    Was she promiscuous at one point and not now, still promiscuous, a virgin then promiscuous, living a certain lifestyle, just really liked/likes sex and a variety of partners, simply a nympho; too many variables to have a threshold and not having a threshold does not mean not having standards, I don’t judge based on the amount of times a woman has had sexual partners, but experience does matter
    More important to me is if I am her only partner now and what to expect going forward
    • I do not make any perceptions
    • I would consider having sex with a woman that had more partners than me, but it would have much more to do with the woman than the number
    • Woman are judged far more harshly in most societies/cultures

    Quick comment before last answer, there are many factors that effect this number I believe; age, when virginity lost, maturity, lifestyle, status, values, beliefs, culture, society, peers, upbringing, sexual appetite, types of sexual acts, personality, ego, confidence or lack of, is number only opposite sex or same sex or both, etc which influence both the perception of the number as well as the number itself

    • My number, I honestly do not know, it would be an estimate at best, I never counted
    From 14 to 35 as a “wild” single young man, with 12 years in Army, 3 in S Korea and 2 in Germany and many willing young ladies around every military post, I am easily well into 3 digits, a large portion “pay by the hour” in Korea (not much else to do there but that and drink when not training)
    Always safe sex and tested regularly by the Army
    1 for the past 20 years
    TMI @CanesGalactica ?
  • ghudson92
    ghudson92 Posts: 2,061 Member
    Options
    I'm not going to put my number here as people really do judge women harshly on it. My ex partner was fixated on this and couldn't stand that my number matched his and tried to make me feel dirty... hypocritical no?
    As many other have said already, I don't really care about how many people a person has slept with so long as they aren't riddled with disease or have loads of illegitimate kids.
  • TomFit18
    TomFit18 Posts: 2,584 Member
    Options
    No comment!

Categories