You're not good enough..

123457

Replies

  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,508 Member
    s131951 wrote: »
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    Reckoner68 wrote: »
    Reckoner68 wrote: »
    I am that friend that checks in on everyone, but when I go silent for a month no one reaches out. I am not a good enough friend. That is precisely why I think friends are overrated.

    @pizzamyheart you deserve to buy yourself something nice. Even if you aren't at your "ideal" weight.

    @LyndaBSS just because you don't look like other woman doesn't mean you aren't beautiful!!

    @J_NY_Z I am sorry that you feel that way! I don't know you, but I bet you have a lot to offer as a friend!!

    @your_future_ex_wife There are plenty of successful people that didn't even start College. Just keep plugging away, your chance will come!!!

    You are all good enough.....you're more than enough!!!!

    I feel this pretty hard. This has always been me, too...and sometimes I just stop talking to people to see if they'll reach out, and every time I lose friends that way it hurts. I've always been the person who reaches out.

    I guess, on the flip-side, when people have reached out to me to check in (a few of you folks are on here and you know who you are) I'm so appreciative I probably gush about it to a point of making them uncomfortable. Oops. But I don't care, it means a lot.

    I lost my best friend of over a decade because of this. I was accused of "never being around" when in fact, the opposite was true. If anything, he never reached out to me except when something was wrong. Never once was I checked in on, even when he knew I was isolated and alone and going through a really bad time. Less close friends checked up on me more than he did.

    And in the end, he accused me of being a fair weather friend and flipped out on me, only to abandon me even though he said he never would.

    All I've learned is that people can't be trusted, so everyone is held at arm's length or further now.

    Seventh grade for me; I don't remember the incident, but I trusted someone at school with a secret and they let it out and I swore that I'd never let myself feel like that again. I can't tell if I don't trust anybody now, or if I just try to hold as much as I can in an open-hand so I don't care if it gets out, but I still remember that day and deciding I'd never let myself get burned like that again.

    Since then it's just been me trying to keep in touch with folks and when it hits a point where I feel like I'm the sole-reason communication is alive, I just let it go. No animosity, but I know that people will keep talking to be polite and if they don't want to converse with me, I'm just saving everybody time

    It does get lonely tho, sometimes, but <shrugs> such is life

    Probably a little bit of both, honestly.

    That wasn't the first incident, but it was the most recent and most meaningful. It definitely ended up being a one-sided relationship with me going so far as to drive 12 hours to pick him up, drop him off at a friend's wedding (he was the best man, I was merely a guest).. flew out another time to help him deal with massive depression and help clean up his apartment to pass inspection.. yet I'm a "fair weather" friend. Riiiiiight.

    And yes, it gets lonely.. but at least no one can hurt you if you live on an island.

    This is convicting to me because I’m the person who disappears and wants to be left the *kitten* alone and so I assume that when my friends do it they feel the same. I actually got annoyed at someone recently who I felt was trying to bully me into socializing. She said something like, “I won’t let you do this.” I was like LET? You’re not the boss of me. It’s good to hear another perspective

    This post simply reinforces that fact that you and I share similar personalities.



    There is a thread on that.

    cross thread traffic
  • s131951
    s131951 Posts: 3,776 Member
    Was that just a statement or a curse ?
  • KosmosKitten
    KosmosKitten Posts: 10,476 Member
    Reckoner68 wrote: »
    Reckoner68 wrote: »
    I am that friend that checks in on everyone, but when I go silent for a month no one reaches out. I am not a good enough friend. That is precisely why I think friends are overrated.

    @pizzamyheart you deserve to buy yourself something nice. Even if you aren't at your "ideal" weight.

    @LyndaBSS just because you don't look like other woman doesn't mean you aren't beautiful!!

    @J_NY_Z I am sorry that you feel that way! I don't know you, but I bet you have a lot to offer as a friend!!

    @your_future_ex_wife There are plenty of successful people that didn't even start College. Just keep plugging away, your chance will come!!!

    You are all good enough.....you're more than enough!!!!

    I feel this pretty hard. This has always been me, too...and sometimes I just stop talking to people to see if they'll reach out, and every time I lose friends that way it hurts. I've always been the person who reaches out.

    I guess, on the flip-side, when people have reached out to me to check in (a few of you folks are on here and you know who you are) I'm so appreciative I probably gush about it to a point of making them uncomfortable. Oops. But I don't care, it means a lot.

    I lost my best friend of over a decade because of this. I was accused of "never being around" when in fact, the opposite was true. If anything, he never reached out to me except when something was wrong. Never once was I checked in on, even when he knew I was isolated and alone and going through a really bad time. Less close friends checked up on me more than he did.

    And in the end, he accused me of being a fair weather friend and flipped out on me, only to abandon me even though he said he never would.

    All I've learned is that people can't be trusted, so everyone is held at arm's length or further now.

    Seventh grade for me; I don't remember the incident, but I trusted someone at school with a secret and they let it out and I swore that I'd never let myself feel like that again. I can't tell if I don't trust anybody now, or if I just try to hold as much as I can in an open-hand so I don't care if it gets out, but I still remember that day and deciding I'd never let myself get burned like that again.

    Since then it's just been me trying to keep in touch with folks and when it hits a point where I feel like I'm the sole-reason communication is alive, I just let it go. No animosity, but I know that people will keep talking to be polite and if they don't want to converse with me, I'm just saving everybody time

    It does get lonely tho, sometimes, but <shrugs> such is life

    Probably a little bit of both, honestly.

    That wasn't the first incident, but it was the most recent and most meaningful. It definitely ended up being a one-sided relationship with me going so far as to drive 12 hours to pick him up, drop him off at a friend's wedding (he was the best man, I was merely a guest).. flew out another time to help him deal with massive depression and help clean up his apartment to pass inspection.. yet I'm a "fair weather" friend. Riiiiiight.

    And yes, it gets lonely.. but at least no one can hurt you if you live on an island.

    This is convicting to me because I’m the person who disappears and wants to be left the *kitten* alone and so I assume that when my friends do it they feel the same. I actually got annoyed at someone recently who I felt was trying to bully me into socializing. She said something like, “I won’t let you do this.” I was like LET? You’re not the boss of me. It’s good to hear another perspective

    I'm not social at all. I normally prefer to be left alone, but this person acted like I was doing it to personally offend them and that I was "avoiding" them. In fact, I was simply busy and depressed, so didn't feel like talking a lot of the time. When I did talk, my life is/was unremarkable, so I didn't say a lot. Yet, any time I talked to this individual, it was nothing but negative emotion and how "terrible" their life was, even though this person had immense luck (compared to myself), had everything provided for (mummy and daddy dearest just couldn't let go) and he was an emotional drain in the end.

    So of course, when I took some much needed "me" time and stopped talking to him as much (because heaven forbid I do other things besides stare at a computer screen all day), I got accused of being non-supportive and a terrible friend. Things were said that couldn't be retracted and everything fell apart. I learned his true motives and feelings about me as a person in that instant and I never went back. I had given him plenty of chances by this point, I was only hurting myself. So I walked out.

    I don't bully anyone into doing anything and I don't pressure my friends into doing things they don't want to do. If anything, it's the other way around. And like you, I go off when I feel that's being done to me because it pisses me off.
  • your_future_ex_wife
    your_future_ex_wife Posts: 4,278 Member
    Reckoner68 wrote: »
    Reckoner68 wrote: »
    I am that friend that checks in on everyone, but when I go silent for a month no one reaches out. I am not a good enough friend. That is precisely why I think friends are overrated.

    @pizzamyheart you deserve to buy yourself something nice. Even if you aren't at your "ideal" weight.

    @LyndaBSS just because you don't look like other woman doesn't mean you aren't beautiful!!

    @J_NY_Z I am sorry that you feel that way! I don't know you, but I bet you have a lot to offer as a friend!!

    @your_future_ex_wife There are plenty of successful people that didn't even start College. Just keep plugging away, your chance will come!!!

    You are all good enough.....you're more than enough!!!!

    I feel this pretty hard. This has always been me, too...and sometimes I just stop talking to people to see if they'll reach out, and every time I lose friends that way it hurts. I've always been the person who reaches out.

    I guess, on the flip-side, when people have reached out to me to check in (a few of you folks are on here and you know who you are) I'm so appreciative I probably gush about it to a point of making them uncomfortable. Oops. But I don't care, it means a lot.

    I lost my best friend of over a decade because of this. I was accused of "never being around" when in fact, the opposite was true. If anything, he never reached out to me except when something was wrong. Never once was I checked in on, even when he knew I was isolated and alone and going through a really bad time. Less close friends checked up on me more than he did.

    And in the end, he accused me of being a fair weather friend and flipped out on me, only to abandon me even though he said he never would.

    All I've learned is that people can't be trusted, so everyone is held at arm's length or further now.

    Seventh grade for me; I don't remember the incident, but I trusted someone at school with a secret and they let it out and I swore that I'd never let myself feel like that again. I can't tell if I don't trust anybody now, or if I just try to hold as much as I can in an open-hand so I don't care if it gets out, but I still remember that day and deciding I'd never let myself get burned like that again.

    Since then it's just been me trying to keep in touch with folks and when it hits a point where I feel like I'm the sole-reason communication is alive, I just let it go. No animosity, but I know that people will keep talking to be polite and if they don't want to converse with me, I'm just saving everybody time

    It does get lonely tho, sometimes, but <shrugs> such is life

    Probably a little bit of both, honestly.

    That wasn't the first incident, but it was the most recent and most meaningful. It definitely ended up being a one-sided relationship with me going so far as to drive 12 hours to pick him up, drop him off at a friend's wedding (he was the best man, I was merely a guest).. flew out another time to help him deal with massive depression and help clean up his apartment to pass inspection.. yet I'm a "fair weather" friend. Riiiiiight.

    And yes, it gets lonely.. but at least no one can hurt you if you live on an island.

    This is convicting to me because I’m the person who disappears and wants to be left the *kitten* alone and so I assume that when my friends do it they feel the same. I actually got annoyed at someone recently who I felt was trying to bully me into socializing. She said something like, “I won’t let you do this.” I was like LET? You’re not the boss of me. It’s good to hear another perspective

    I'm not social at all. I normally prefer to be left alone, but this person acted like I was doing it to personally offend them and that I was "avoiding" them. In fact, I was simply busy and depressed, so didn't feel like talking a lot of the time. When I did talk, my life is/was unremarkable, so I didn't say a lot. Yet, any time I talked to this individual, it was nothing but negative emotion and how "terrible" their life was, even though this person had immense luck (compared to myself), had everything provided for (mummy and daddy dearest just couldn't let go) and he was an emotional drain in the end.

    So of course, when I took some much needed "me" time and stopped talking to him as much (because heaven forbid I do other things besides stare at a computer screen all day), I got accused of being non-supportive and a terrible friend. Things were said that couldn't be retracted and everything fell apart. I learned his true motives and feelings about me as a person in that instant and I never went back. I had given him plenty of chances by this point, I was only hurting myself. So I walked out.

    I don't bully anyone into doing anything and I don't pressure my friends into doing things they don't want to do. If anything, it's the other way around. And like you, I go off when I feel that's being done to me because it pisses me off.

    Yes! I have experienced a lot of this
  • RevGym2
    RevGym2 Posts: 252 Member
    I don’t think most of the people on this side are good enough. I don’t think they take their fitness seriously like I do.
  • KosmosKitten
    KosmosKitten Posts: 10,476 Member
    RevGym2 wrote: »
    I don’t think most of the people on this side are good enough. I don’t think they take their fitness seriously like I do.

    Me. You're lucky I eat within my calorie range every day, yo.
  • Cowsfan1
    Cowsfan1 Posts: 7,937 Member
    Reckoner68 wrote: »
    I am that friend that checks in on everyone, but when I go silent for a month no one reaches out. I am not a good enough friend. That is precisely why I think friends are overrated.

    @pizzamyheart you deserve to buy yourself something nice. Even if you aren't at your "ideal" weight.

    @LyndaBSS just because you don't look like other woman doesn't mean you aren't beautiful!!

    @J_NY_Z I am sorry that you feel that way! I don't know you, but I bet you have a lot to offer as a friend!!

    @your_future_ex_wife There are plenty of successful people that didn't even start College. Just keep plugging away, your chance will come!!!

    You are all good enough.....you're more than enough!!!!

    I feel this pretty hard. This has always been me, too...and sometimes I just stop talking to people to see if they'll reach out, and every time I lose friends that way it hurts. I've always been the person who reaches out.

    I guess, on the flip-side, when people have reached out to me to check in (a few of you folks are on here and you know who you are) I'm so appreciative I probably gush about it to a point of making them uncomfortable. Oops. But I don't care, it means a lot.

    I lost my best friend of over a decade because of this. I was accused of "never being around" when in fact, the opposite was true. If anything, he never reached out to me except when something was wrong. Never once was I checked in on, even when he knew I was isolated and alone and going through a really bad time. Less close friends checked up on me more than he did.

    And in the end, he accused me of being a fair weather friend and flipped out on me, only to abandon me even though he said he never would.

    All I've learned is that people can't be trusted, so everyone is held at arm's length or further now.

    This is why I tell my kids friends are overrated- they are good to have - but there is a lot of anxiety that goes along with it - I’m not a big reach out guy to my friends irl cause I’m pretty busy with my kids most days and I assume they are too - But i think about it often and just don’t - idk why - I’ll reach out every once in a while to see if they want to come over for a beer or what not and if they need me they know they can call and ill do whatever I can for them - I’m just not the best social friend - I try not to let ppl too close so they don’t expect much - cause I don’t want to disappoint- idk I’m rambling now- and not sure my point is coming across but I’ll post it anyway
  • pizzamyheart
    pizzamyheart Posts: 1,836 Member
    Reckoner68 wrote: »
    Reckoner68 wrote: »
    I am that friend that checks in on everyone, but when I go silent for a month no one reaches out. I am not a good enough friend. That is precisely why I think friends are overrated.

    @pizzamyheart you deserve to buy yourself something nice. Even if you aren't at your "ideal" weight.

    @LyndaBSS just because you don't look like other woman doesn't mean you aren't beautiful!!

    @J_NY_Z I am sorry that you feel that way! I don't know you, but I bet you have a lot to offer as a friend!!

    @your_future_ex_wife There are plenty of successful people that didn't even start College. Just keep plugging away, your chance will come!!!

    You are all good enough.....you're more than enough!!!!

    I feel this pretty hard. This has always been me, too...and sometimes I just stop talking to people to see if they'll reach out, and every time I lose friends that way it hurts. I've always been the person who reaches out.

    I guess, on the flip-side, when people have reached out to me to check in (a few of you folks are on here and you know who you are) I'm so appreciative I probably gush about it to a point of making them uncomfortable. Oops. But I don't care, it means a lot.

    I lost my best friend of over a decade because of this. I was accused of "never being around" when in fact, the opposite was true. If anything, he never reached out to me except when something was wrong. Never once was I checked in on, even when he knew I was isolated and alone and going through a really bad time. Less close friends checked up on me more than he did.

    And in the end, he accused me of being a fair weather friend and flipped out on me, only to abandon me even though he said he never would.

    All I've learned is that people can't be trusted, so everyone is held at arm's length or further now.

    Seventh grade for me; I don't remember the incident, but I trusted someone at school with a secret and they let it out and I swore that I'd never let myself feel like that again. I can't tell if I don't trust anybody now, or if I just try to hold as much as I can in an open-hand so I don't care if it gets out, but I still remember that day and deciding I'd never let myself get burned like that again.

    Since then it's just been me trying to keep in touch with folks and when it hits a point where I feel like I'm the sole-reason communication is alive, I just let it go. No animosity, but I know that people will keep talking to be polite and if they don't want to converse with me, I'm just saving everybody time

    It does get lonely tho, sometimes, but <shrugs> such is life

    Probably a little bit of both, honestly.

    That wasn't the first incident, but it was the most recent and most meaningful. It definitely ended up being a one-sided relationship with me going so far as to drive 12 hours to pick him up, drop him off at a friend's wedding (he was the best man, I was merely a guest).. flew out another time to help him deal with massive depression and help clean up his apartment to pass inspection.. yet I'm a "fair weather" friend. Riiiiiight.

    And yes, it gets lonely.. but at least no one can hurt you if you live on an island.

    This is convicting to me because I’m the person who disappears and wants to be left the *kitten* alone and so I assume that when my friends do it they feel the same. I actually got annoyed at someone recently who I felt was trying to bully me into socializing. She said something like, “I won’t let you do this.” I was like LET? You’re not the boss of me. It’s good to hear another perspective

    I'm not social at all. I normally prefer to be left alone, but this person acted like I was doing it to personally offend them and that I was "avoiding" them. In fact, I was simply busy and depressed, so didn't feel like talking a lot of the time. When I did talk, my life is/was unremarkable, so I didn't say a lot. Yet, any time I talked to this individual, it was nothing but negative emotion and how "terrible" their life was, even though this person had immense luck (compared to myself), had everything provided for (mummy and daddy dearest just couldn't let go) and he was an emotional drain in the end.

    So of course, when I took some much needed "me" time and stopped talking to him as much (because heaven forbid I do other things besides stare at a computer screen all day), I got accused of being non-supportive and a terrible friend. Things were said that couldn't be retracted and everything fell apart. I learned his true motives and feelings about me as a person in that instant and I never went back. I had given him plenty of chances by this point, I was only hurting myself. So I walked out.

    I don't bully anyone into doing anything and I don't pressure my friends into doing things they don't want to do. If anything, it's the other way around. And like you, I go off when I feel that's being done to me because it pisses me off.

    I keep getting notices that I’m being mentioned in the “not good enough” thread and none of the posts are mine so I’m getting paranoid now. ;)
  • pizzamyheart
    pizzamyheart Posts: 1,836 Member
    RevGym2 wrote: »
    I don’t think most of the people on this side are good enough. I don’t think they take their fitness seriously like I do.

    Your mom thinks I’m just right.
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,508 Member
    RevGym2 wrote: »
    I don’t think most of the people on this side are good enough. I don’t think they take their fitness seriously like I do.

    @RevGym2

    but.... but...... are you able to help them ?

    and if your answer is: 'yes!'...... then how so ???
  • RevGym2
    RevGym2 Posts: 252 Member
    @ wrote: »
    RevGym2 wrote: »
    I don’t think most of the people on this side are good enough. I don’t think they take their fitness seriously like I do.

    @RevGym2

    but.... but...... are you able to help them ?

    and if your answer is: 'yes!'...... then how so ???

    Through my VHS videos and podcast
  • KosmosKitten
    KosmosKitten Posts: 10,476 Member
    RevGym2 wrote: »
    @ wrote: »
    RevGym2 wrote: »
    I don’t think most of the people on this side are good enough. I don’t think they take their fitness seriously like I do.

    @RevGym2

    but.... but...... are you able to help them ?

    and if your answer is: 'yes!'...... then how so ???

    Through my VHS videos and podcast

    Got magic supplements to sell along with it? :smirk:
  • ythannah
    ythannah Posts: 4,370 Member
    RevGym2 wrote: »
    @ wrote: »
    RevGym2 wrote: »
    I don’t think most of the people on this side are good enough. I don’t think they take their fitness seriously like I do.

    @RevGym2

    but.... but...... are you able to help them ?

    and if your answer is: 'yes!'...... then how so ???

    Through my VHS videos and podcast

    What? No Betamax?
  • mi_nina_lola
    mi_nina_lola Posts: 767 Member
    edited October 2019
    nooshi713 wrote: »
    I feel really bad for people who don’t recognize their inherent goodness and value and beauty for whatever reason. I have been that person too.

    This seems to be a very common sentiment....

    I hope you all realize you are good enough, you’re wonderful and unique in your own way, and honestly F*** whoever thinks otherwise.

    ❤️

    @nooshi713 - well said and very affirmative.

    i've been reading about near death experiences lately, and the common thread with those who have had them is this precisely. it's imperative to love yourself to continue on in a healthy perspective in this life. google Anita Moorjani and/or Eben Alexander to discover the miracle of life that is within our grasp. this has changed my outlook on living my life with cancer a thousandfold!
  • KosmosKitten
    KosmosKitten Posts: 10,476 Member
    I'm still fat. Still failing at every day. Kids still driving me nucking futs. So, yeah. Still here.

    Oh hey, it's me... only with kid being singular instead of plural. Go us. :heart:
  • nooshi713
    nooshi713 Posts: 4,877 Member
    nooshi713 wrote: »
    I feel really bad for people who don’t recognize their inherent goodness and value and beauty for whatever reason. I have been that person too.

    This seems to be a very common sentiment....

    I hope you all realize you are good enough, you’re wonderful and unique in your own way, and honestly F*** whoever thinks otherwise.

    ❤️

    @nooshi713 - well said and very affirmative.

    i've been reading about near death experiences lately, and the common thread with those who have had them is this precisely. it's imperative to love yourself to continue on in a healthy perspective in this life. google Anita Moorjani and/or Eben Alexander to discover the miracle of life that is within our grasp. this has changed my outlook on living my life with cancer a thousandfold!

    I will. Thanks.
  • Diatonic12
    Diatonic12 Posts: 32,344 Member
    Being your MFP friend is the best thing we can do. It's essential because we are birds of the same feather flying together. We understand what you're going through and this is a judgment free zone. Anyone who's been around here for any length of time knows who all of the regulars are. They're not putting on the dog. Your real friends accept you and celebrate you. Everyone here wants for you want they they want for others, a real chance to pursue realistic goals. We want it for you as much as we want it for ourselves. Your real friends care, no matter what life is throwing at you.
  • Pandemonium_
    Pandemonium_ Posts: 945 Member
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