Online dating

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Replies

  • mtndewme
    mtndewme Posts: 724 Member
    Look sometimes you have some groceries that need to be ate and then there's tinder to the rescue. Better than grub hub.
  • KosmosKitten
    KosmosKitten Posts: 10,476 Member
    mtndewme wrote: »
    Look sometimes you have some groceries that need to be ate and then there's tinder to the rescue. Better than grub hub.

    What kinda grocery store are you sending your Tinder hookups to? :sweat_smile:
  • isalsayourface123
    isalsayourface123 Posts: 2,153 Member
    What :o
  • mtndewme
    mtndewme Posts: 724 Member
    mtndewme wrote: »
    Look sometimes you have some groceries that need to be ate and then there's tinder to the rescue. Better than grub hub.

    What kinda grocery store are you sending your Tinder hookups to? :sweat_smile:

    😉😉😉
  • nooshi713
    nooshi713 Posts: 4,877 Member
    edited November 2019
    nooshi713 wrote: »
    nooshi713 wrote: »
    I have no horse in this race.

    I can only input that if I met my husband and most of the most AMAZING people I've ever met online (not on dating sites or apps, mind you), there is hope for anyone. Trust me.

    My question to those of you using these websites and apps: Have you ever considered just kicking back, taking it easy and getting to know people online outside of a site built for dating/hookups? You know, building a relationship/friendship with someone and then seeing what happens?

    Just a thought.

    Of course I have considered it. I don’t know about others. But, dating is different now. Men rarely approach women in public. I won’t date a man from work and all my friends are married.

    Im a very active person and have hobbies and things, but If I just waited and hoped some guy would randomly ask me out, I might be waiting years.

    SO didn't approach me online, I approached and pursued him. We had a long term friendship (despite my obvious crush) for close to a decade before he turned around one day and asked to meet up with and eventually pursue a relationship.

    And we originally became acquainted through a gaming/comics website (no longer around, sadly). Kinda just followed one another around online for years to keep in touch and reconnected when able. I don't think I ever thought about just "waiting around" for a dude to ask me out.. because yeesh, I'd be dead probably.

    Also, I think despite the bravado a lot of guys have, many of them are quite nervous/anxious about asking a woman they like for their number or more information for fear of being accused of assault/harassment/etc. We live in strange times.

    I’m glad it worked out for you. I do know people who met their SO or husband at work or something. Most of my friends who are now married met their SO online.

    I don’t approach men and tbh the types of men who usually approach me are the player type. No thanks. Also, I don’t have years to wait and build a friendship first.

    Well, maybe not a friendship (unless that's what you mutually want with a person), but taking time to really get to know whether the person is worth your time and energy on a site not strictly intended for dating. I feel like you would encounter less player/desperate types outside of a dating/hookup site than you would on one since the culture on those sites kinda fosters that type of attitude from a large percentage of its users.

    Also, for those of you who utilize Tinder... can you please explain to me why there is a weird obsession with butt stuff on that app? What about "I want a meaningful connection with someone" or "I want to get some coffee sometime" screams "I love butt sex!"??

    I don't get it.

    Why not put yourself out there if you want to meet people is the thing though? Men don’t approach me IRL so if I just relied on that then I wouldnt meet anyone. The rare guy that does approach me out and about is the total player type, so what you’re saying doesn’t work for me or some others. I know I’m not the only one with this issue.

  • KosmosKitten
    KosmosKitten Posts: 10,476 Member
    nooshi713 wrote: »
    nooshi713 wrote: »
    nooshi713 wrote: »
    I have no horse in this race.

    I can only input that if I met my husband and most of the most AMAZING people I've ever met online (not on dating sites or apps, mind you), there is hope for anyone. Trust me.

    My question to those of you using these websites and apps: Have you ever considered just kicking back, taking it easy and getting to know people online outside of a site built for dating/hookups? You know, building a relationship/friendship with someone and then seeing what happens?

    Just a thought.

    Of course I have considered it. I don’t know about others. But, dating is different now. Men rarely approach women in public. I won’t date a man from work and all my friends are married.

    Im a very active person and have hobbies and things, but If I just waited and hoped some guy would randomly ask me out, I might be waiting years.

    SO didn't approach me online, I approached and pursued him. We had a long term friendship (despite my obvious crush) for close to a decade before he turned around one day and asked to meet up with and eventually pursue a relationship.

    And we originally became acquainted through a gaming/comics website (no longer around, sadly). Kinda just followed one another around online for years to keep in touch and reconnected when able. I don't think I ever thought about just "waiting around" for a dude to ask me out.. because yeesh, I'd be dead probably.

    Also, I think despite the bravado a lot of guys have, many of them are quite nervous/anxious about asking a woman they like for their number or more information for fear of being accused of assault/harassment/etc. We live in strange times.

    I’m glad it worked out for you. I do know people who met their SO or husband at work or something. Most of my friends who are now married met their SO online.

    I don’t approach men and tbh the types of men who usually approach me are the player type. No thanks. Also, I don’t have years to wait and build a friendship first.

    Well, maybe not a friendship (unless that's what you mutually want with a person), but taking time to really get to know whether the person is worth your time and energy on a site not strictly intended for dating. I feel like you would encounter less player/desperate types outside of a dating/hookup site than you would on one since the culture on those sites kinda fosters that type of attitude from a large percentage of its users.

    Also, for those of you who utilize Tinder... can you please explain to me why there is a weird obsession with butt stuff on that app? What about "I want a meaningful connection with someone" or "I want to get some coffee sometime" screams "I love butt sex!"??

    I don't get it.

    Why not put yourself out there if you want to meet people is the thing though? Men don’t approach me IRL so if I just relied on that then I wouldnt meet anyone.

    ... have you ever wondered why men don't approach you IRL? Do you think they find you too intimidating? Is it a thing with where you live, perhaps? Just brainstorming.

    I mean, no one approaches me IRL (man or woman), but I always assumed it was because I was unattractive, uninteresting to random strangers and had resting *kitten* face, so... **shrugs** It's mostly always been that way. I think college *might* have been different because we were all forced in the same spaces for numerous hours a day or even had to live in the same spaces, so it just made sense. Once freed into the "real world", that wasn't the case anymore and we all realized how lonely the world could be (and is).

    Oops, now I'm rambling, sorry.

  • AyeRon18
    AyeRon18 Posts: 127 Member
    Being around people more always helps.
  • KosmosKitten
    KosmosKitten Posts: 10,476 Member
    AyeRon18 wrote: »
    Being around people more always helps.

    I think that's the problem for a lot of people once they reach their mid-20s or enter the work force though? With few exceptions, the opportunities to meet people you don't work with or interact with on a day-to-day become slim to none.. or you're too tired/busy to really indulge in those people-meeting opportunities.
  • AyeRon18
    AyeRon18 Posts: 127 Member
    edited November 2019
    AyeRon18 wrote: »
    Being around people more always helps.

    I think that's the problem for a lot of people once they reach their mid-20s or enter the work force though? With few exceptions, the opportunities to meet people you don't work with or interact with on a day-to-day become slim to none.. or you're too tired/busy to really indulge in those people-meeting opportunities.

    Totally true. It's rough out there, idk how some people still go out during the week when they get older. I know a lot of people do, im just exhausted.
  • ythannah
    ythannah Posts: 4,365 Member
    AyeRon18 wrote: »
    Being around people more always helps.

    I think that's the problem for a lot of people once they reach their mid-20s or enter the work force though? With few exceptions, the opportunities to meet people you don't work with or interact with on a day-to-day become slim to none.. or you're too tired/busy to really indulge in those people-meeting opportunities.

    Exactly. Although until recently I always did a ton of volunteer work, it's mostly women (and a few married men) who are also volunteering. The majority of my friends married and had kids fairly young and weren't going out a lot, except doing stuff with the kids/family. As a non-drinker the bar scene definitely wasn't my thing.

    I met my SO at an art gallery. That could have been really, really misleading as neither of us are into art galleries. :D
  • Pandemonium_
    Pandemonium_ Posts: 945 Member
    I’m definitely not into butt stuff. Just coffee and adult conversation that’s all.

    Huh?
  • KosmosKitten
    KosmosKitten Posts: 10,476 Member
    ythannah wrote: »
    AyeRon18 wrote: »
    Being around people more always helps.

    I think that's the problem for a lot of people once they reach their mid-20s or enter the work force though? With few exceptions, the opportunities to meet people you don't work with or interact with on a day-to-day become slim to none.. or you're too tired/busy to really indulge in those people-meeting opportunities.

    Exactly. Although until recently I always did a ton of volunteer work, it's mostly women (and a few married men) who are also volunteering. The majority of my friends married and had kids fairly young and weren't going out a lot, except doing stuff with the kids/family. As a non-drinker the bar scene definitely wasn't my thing.

    I met my SO at an art gallery. That could have been really, really misleading as neither of us are into art galleries. :D

    :lol: How did you both come to be at an art gallery if you aren't into art galleries? I notice you didn't say "not into art", so I assume that's not the case.

    Either way, what a cool place to meet and have as a memory!
  • your_future_ex_wife
    your_future_ex_wife Posts: 4,278 Member
    I’m definitely not into butt stuff. Just coffee and adult conversation that’s all.

    Huh?

    he said he’s NOT INTO BUTT STUFF

    Get your hearing checked
  • Pandemonium_
    Pandemonium_ Posts: 945 Member
    I’m definitely not into butt stuff. Just coffee and adult conversation that’s all.

    Huh?

    he said he’s NOT INTO BUTT STUFF

    Get your hearing checked

    Must have my head in my.....
  • AyeRon18
    AyeRon18 Posts: 127 Member
    I’m definitely not into butt stuff. Just coffee and adult conversation that’s all.

    Huh?

    he said he’s NOT INTO BUTT STUFF

    Get your hearing checked

    Must have my head in my.....

    He's into butt stuff.
  • your_future_ex_wife
    your_future_ex_wife Posts: 4,278 Member
    I’m definitely not into butt stuff. Just coffee and adult conversation that’s all.

    Huh?

    he said he’s NOT INTO BUTT STUFF

    Get your hearing checked

    Must have my head in my.....

    😁
  • ghudson92
    ghudson92 Posts: 2,061 Member
    Having so much trouble trying to put my words into text. At 45 raising my little one. I just wanna have coffee and chat.

    You aren't alone on the texting thing. I am awful at texting/online communication.
  • nooshi713
    nooshi713 Posts: 4,877 Member
    nooshi713 wrote: »
    nooshi713 wrote: »
    nooshi713 wrote: »
    I have no horse in this race.

    I can only input that if I met my husband and most of the most AMAZING people I've ever met online (not on dating sites or apps, mind you), there is hope for anyone. Trust me.

    My question to those of you using these websites and apps: Have you ever considered just kicking back, taking it easy and getting to know people online outside of a site built for dating/hookups? You know, building a relationship/friendship with someone and then seeing what happens?

    Just a thought.

    Of course I have considered it. I don’t know about others. But, dating is different now. Men rarely approach women in public. I won’t date a man from work and all my friends are married.

    Im a very active person and have hobbies and things, but If I just waited and hoped some guy would randomly ask me out, I might be waiting years.

    SO didn't approach me online, I approached and pursued him. We had a long term friendship (despite my obvious crush) for close to a decade before he turned around one day and asked to meet up with and eventually pursue a relationship.

    And we originally became acquainted through a gaming/comics website (no longer around, sadly). Kinda just followed one another around online for years to keep in touch and reconnected when able. I don't think I ever thought about just "waiting around" for a dude to ask me out.. because yeesh, I'd be dead probably.

    Also, I think despite the bravado a lot of guys have, many of them are quite nervous/anxious about asking a woman they like for their number or more information for fear of being accused of assault/harassment/etc. We live in strange times.

    I’m glad it worked out for you. I do know people who met their SO or husband at work or something. Most of my friends who are now married met their SO online.

    I don’t approach men and tbh the types of men who usually approach me are the player type. No thanks. Also, I don’t have years to wait and build a friendship first.

    Well, maybe not a friendship (unless that's what you mutually want with a person), but taking time to really get to know whether the person is worth your time and energy on a site not strictly intended for dating. I feel like you would encounter less player/desperate types outside of a dating/hookup site than you would on one since the culture on those sites kinda fosters that type of attitude from a large percentage of its users.

    Also, for those of you who utilize Tinder... can you please explain to me why there is a weird obsession with butt stuff on that app? What about "I want a meaningful connection with someone" or "I want to get some coffee sometime" screams "I love butt sex!"??

    I don't get it.

    Why not put yourself out there if you want to meet people is the thing though? Men don’t approach me IRL so if I just relied on that then I wouldnt meet anyone.

    ... have you ever wondered why men don't approach you IRL? Do you think they find you too intimidating? Is it a thing with where you live, perhaps? Just brainstorming.

    I mean, no one approaches me IRL (man or woman), but I always assumed it was because I was unattractive, uninteresting to random strangers and had resting *kitten* face, so... **shrugs** It's mostly always been that way. I think college *might* have been different because we were all forced in the same spaces for numerous hours a day or even had to live in the same spaces, so it just made sense. Once freed into the "real world", that wasn't the case anymore and we all realized how lonely the world could be (and is).

    Oops, now I'm rambling, sorry.

    I’m not sure. I’m friendly IRL. I have been told I’m beautiful. I don’t think men do a lot of random approaching anymore. The shyer guys certainly don’t. I live in suburb outside a big city. Most men in my area are married.

  • biggiwig4483
    biggiwig4483 Posts: 90 Member
    1sphere wrote: »
    LyndaBSS wrote: »
    nooshi713 wrote: »
    1sphere wrote: »
    nooshi713 wrote: »
    1sphere wrote: »
    nooshi713 wrote: »
    1sphere wrote: »
    nooshi713 wrote: »
    1sphere wrote: »
    just_Tomek wrote: »
    Because of this thread I just signed on on tinder.
    I did too. I got 3 or 4 matches after a month. Results were a failure as anticipated.

    here's the trend:
    1. Girl replies hi
    2. Girl feels a (likely) instant sense of fear and distrust
    3. Girl decides it is best not to communicate any further and the approach is ghosting

    I'm thinking that if you're under 35 whereabouts - girls see Tinder as some kind of game, and guys take the thing for serious


    Absolutely untrue.
    You cannot say what’s untrue since you are not a man, and you don’t know what it’s like on the male side of using the apps.

    Do I have to screenshot it for you?

    You saying men are serious is directly opposite of my experience though. More women than men tend to want to actually date or find a relationship. More guys tend to look for casual flings. This is generally true. Doesn’t mean there aren’t exceptions.
    A lot of women sign up with expectations such as finding a long term relationship, they also set their standards extremely high, and in a way this makes them out to be not taking it for real with unrealistic standards (ie. not practically giving anyone a chance). The end result is that they’re just there to lurk and seek attention. I’m not saying this is you, you’re probably realistic and mature... but this seems to be most people, you can even see it in the profile descriptions that they seek the ideal fairytale; stamping down the words “prince perfect” and “long term”. It ends up making you think that they’re crazy.

    Long term does not suggest crazy. The fact that you think so makes me think you’re the crazy one.
    Desiring a long term relationship is absolutely fine, and healthy of course. But explicitly stating that you want a long term instantly is nuts. Don’t you think that it makes more sense to seek short term relationships initially to see if there’s a good chemistry? And then eventually build it into a long term in *reality*?

    Saying one wants something long term doesn’t mean they expect it instantly. You’re doing an awful lot of assuming. Anything before a relationship is just dating.

    This ^^^^

    I would absolutely put long term relationship as my reason for being on the site, if that’s what I wanted.

    You’d be amazed how that would be a deterrent for guys who aren’t there for the same reason. Weeds out the losers. 🥰
    It's important to remember that guys don't think exactly the same way that women do. Stating "long term" puts pressure on you to be the perfect man, it makes us run 100 miles even though we may also desire a long term relationship. I talked to guys about this before.

    Where do you get your information?..... Ladies, this young man is on his own. He does not speak for my gender.

    I actually agree with him.
  • ythannah
    ythannah Posts: 4,365 Member
    ythannah wrote: »
    AyeRon18 wrote: »
    Being around people more always helps.

    I think that's the problem for a lot of people once they reach their mid-20s or enter the work force though? With few exceptions, the opportunities to meet people you don't work with or interact with on a day-to-day become slim to none.. or you're too tired/busy to really indulge in those people-meeting opportunities.

    Exactly. Although until recently I always did a ton of volunteer work, it's mostly women (and a few married men) who are also volunteering. The majority of my friends married and had kids fairly young and weren't going out a lot, except doing stuff with the kids/family. As a non-drinker the bar scene definitely wasn't my thing.

    I met my SO at an art gallery. That could have been really, really misleading as neither of us are into art galleries. :D

    :lol: How did you both come to be at an art gallery if you aren't into art galleries? I notice you didn't say "not into art", so I assume that's not the case.

    Either way, what a cool place to meet and have as a memory!

    It was the student exhibition and we were both there to see particular students' work. His daughter had a few sculptures on display, and my BFF's daughter had a painting, although they were in different years.

    He's definitely not into visual art and hasn't been to any art gallery since then. I can appreciate it more but would only visit a gallery again on a trip (like a famous one). Or I guess when friends' grandkids appear at the student exhibit.