Online dating

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Replies

  • nooshi713
    nooshi713 Posts: 4,842 Member
    1sphere wrote: »
    nooshi713 wrote: »
    1sphere wrote: »
    just_Tomek wrote: »
    Because of this thread I just signed on on tinder.
    I did too. I got 3 or 4 matches after a month. Results were a failure as anticipated.

    here's the trend:
    1. Girl replies hi
    2. Girl feels a (likely) instant sense of fear and distrust
    3. Girl decides it is best not to communicate any further and the approach is ghosting

    I'm thinking that if you're under 35 whereabouts - girls see Tinder as some kind of game, and guys take the thing for serious


    Absolutely untrue.
    You cannot say what’s untrue since you are not a man, and you don’t know what it’s like on the male side of using the apps.

    Do I have to screenshot it for you?

    You saying men are serious is directly opposite of my experience though. More women than men tend to want to actually date or find a relationship. More guys tend to look for casual flings. This is generally true. Doesn’t mean there aren’t exceptions.
  • LyndaBSS
    LyndaBSS Posts: 6,971 Member
    nooshi713 wrote: »
    1sphere wrote: »
    nooshi713 wrote: »
    1sphere wrote: »
    nooshi713 wrote: »
    1sphere wrote: »
    nooshi713 wrote: »
    1sphere wrote: »
    just_Tomek wrote: »
    Because of this thread I just signed on on tinder.
    I did too. I got 3 or 4 matches after a month. Results were a failure as anticipated.

    here's the trend:
    1. Girl replies hi
    2. Girl feels a (likely) instant sense of fear and distrust
    3. Girl decides it is best not to communicate any further and the approach is ghosting

    I'm thinking that if you're under 35 whereabouts - girls see Tinder as some kind of game, and guys take the thing for serious


    Absolutely untrue.
    You cannot say what’s untrue since you are not a man, and you don’t know what it’s like on the male side of using the apps.

    Do I have to screenshot it for you?

    You saying men are serious is directly opposite of my experience though. More women than men tend to want to actually date or find a relationship. More guys tend to look for casual flings. This is generally true. Doesn’t mean there aren’t exceptions.
    A lot of women sign up with expectations such as finding a long term relationship, they also set their standards extremely high, and in a way this makes them out to be not taking it for real with unrealistic standards (ie. not practically giving anyone a chance). The end result is that they’re just there to lurk and seek attention. I’m not saying this is you, you’re probably realistic and mature... but this seems to be most people, you can even see it in the profile descriptions that they seek the ideal fairytale; stamping down the words “prince perfect” and “long term”. It ends up making you think that they’re crazy.

    Long term does not suggest crazy. The fact that you think so makes me think you’re the crazy one.
    Desiring a long term relationship is absolutely fine, and healthy of course. But explicitly stating that you want a long term instantly is nuts. Don’t you think that it makes more sense to seek short term relationships initially to see if there’s a good chemistry? And then eventually build it into a long term in *reality*?

    Saying one wants something long term doesn’t mean they expect it instantly. You’re doing an awful lot of assuming. Anything before a relationship is just dating.

    This ^^^^

    I would absolutely put long term relationship as my reason for being on the site, if that’s what I wanted.

    You’d be amazed how that would be a deterrent for guys who aren’t there for the same reason. Weeds out the losers. 🥰
  • mi_nina_lola
    mi_nina_lola Posts: 767 Member
    1sphere wrote: »
    LyndaBSS wrote: »
    nooshi713 wrote: »
    1sphere wrote: »
    nooshi713 wrote: »
    1sphere wrote: »
    nooshi713 wrote: »
    1sphere wrote: »
    nooshi713 wrote: »
    1sphere wrote: »
    just_Tomek wrote: »
    Because of this thread I just signed on on tinder.
    I did too. I got 3 or 4 matches after a month. Results were a failure as anticipated.

    here's the trend:
    1. Girl replies hi
    2. Girl feels a (likely) instant sense of fear and distrust
    3. Girl decides it is best not to communicate any further and the approach is ghosting

    I'm thinking that if you're under 35 whereabouts - girls see Tinder as some kind of game, and guys take the thing for serious


    Absolutely untrue.
    You cannot say what’s untrue since you are not a man, and you don’t know what it’s like on the male side of using the apps.

    Do I have to screenshot it for you?

    You saying men are serious is directly opposite of my experience though. More women than men tend to want to actually date or find a relationship. More guys tend to look for casual flings. This is generally true. Doesn’t mean there aren’t exceptions.
    A lot of women sign up with expectations such as finding a long term relationship, they also set their standards extremely high, and in a way this makes them out to be not taking it for real with unrealistic standards (ie. not practically giving anyone a chance). The end result is that they’re just there to lurk and seek attention. I’m not saying this is you, you’re probably realistic and mature... but this seems to be most people, you can even see it in the profile descriptions that they seek the ideal fairytale; stamping down the words “prince perfect” and “long term”. It ends up making you think that they’re crazy.

    Long term does not suggest crazy. The fact that you think so makes me think you’re the crazy one.
    Desiring a long term relationship is absolutely fine, and healthy of course. But explicitly stating that you want a long term instantly is nuts. Don’t you think that it makes more sense to seek short term relationships initially to see if there’s a good chemistry? And then eventually build it into a long term in *reality*?

    Saying one wants something long term doesn’t mean they expect it instantly. You’re doing an awful lot of assuming. Anything before a relationship is just dating.

    This ^^^^

    I would absolutely put long term relationship as my reason for being on the site, if that’s what I wanted.

    You’d be amazed how that would be a deterrent for guys who aren’t there for the same reason. Weeds out the losers. 🥰
    It's important to remember that guys don't think exactly the same way that women do. Stating "long term" puts pressure on you to be the perfect man, it makes us run 100 miles even though we may also desire a long term relationship. I talked to guys about this before.

    Where do you get your information?..... Ladies, this young man is on his own. He does not speak for my gender.

    K - you are stellar :)
  • mattig89ch
    mattig89ch Posts: 2,648 Member
    If I might put my two cents in here as well, long term also means different things to different people. My idea of a longer term relationship is 6 months to a year. Others it might be 1-2 years, and others might be longer.
  • KosmosKitten
    KosmosKitten Posts: 10,476 Member
    I'm just gonna plant myself here. Don't mind me. :laugh:

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