Online dating
Replies
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isalsayourface123 wrote: »isalsayourface123 wrote: »
Ok I know it is a bit soon, 4 dates in 2 weeks, but he asked me to be his gf today. Great connection. ❤️
So I guess something good came out of Tinder.
Aaawww. My last bf it was date 2. So if it works it works.
Oh ok cool. Normally, I move a bit slower but it just felt right. We are both 37 with no kids, know what we want, are very open with each other, and surprisingly compatible.
I know you can’t always know someone’s true self so early on but I just get the most real and genuine vibe from him. I’m very happy.
FEET THO? 🤗🤗1 -
isalsayourface123 wrote: »
Ok I know it is a bit soon, 4 dates in 2 weeks, but he asked me to be his gf today. Great connection. ❤️
So I guess something good came out of Tinder.
That's not soon, that's great! You've had a good number of dates and have a connection, go for it!
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Versicolour wrote: »I've tried a whole bunch. I haven't had much success. Most guys I have chatted with seemed overly concerned with birth control. Dude! You're not getting any from me. Don't worry yourself
Crazy! I had one guy ask me this on the second date. My response was that NO I’m not because I plan on having kids soon. Lol......
While they're going about it in a terrible way, this is part of why they're asking. I know that I'm not interested in having kids, and dating someone who is looking for that at an age where there's some urgency to it, isn't going to turn out well for either of us.
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Deadman_Diggingup wrote: »
It’s kind of both, at least for me. I like an independent, confident woman that doesn’t need me in the strictest sense, but appreciates that I want to take care of her anyway I can. Simply put, I want her to be able to do it all, but never have to.
Now see, that's what I'm looking fortbright1965 wrote: »
Nothing wrong with being intimidating because you are competent. You will only intimidate those who are unable to care for themselves.
I'd say you family is sort of right, but not to the extent that you need to change. Sounds to me it will take an exceptional person to be your partner. Nothing wrong with that. Which is worse, quickly settling for something less than you want, or holding out for something better?
Only you can decide.
I stand firmly by the idea that there are much worse things out there than being single, that's for sure - I've had plenty of examples from friends and family!HoneyBadger155 wrote: »
Oh do I feel that pain - I've heard that from more than a few people - that I don't "need" someone, and that I'm intimidating (I'll admit I'm not exactly a bubbly personality), and reality is, I've been single long enough that no, I really don't need a man to survive and do what I want to do. Doesn't mean I wouldn't like to share life with someone, but I think it would take a unique guy - and at my age, those are fewer and fewer between.
I've tried the online dating thing, and the amount of work sunk into a variety of unsuccessful dates (and one that did turn into someone I dated for about 6 months), just doesn't make the time suck worth it for me. I guess I'm too busy living life to be spending the time required - dating just isn't a priority in that way for me.
That's my case. I'm looking 40 right in the face in a short 5 months from now, and that's the one thing that I find difficult about reaching that milestone. It's not the age itself; the number doesn't bother me and I figure I only have to be as old as I feel anyway; its the fact that the one thing that I had always thought would happen since I was a child, the one thing that I really and truly wanted, has never happened. Reaching 30 having never dated or even been asked out wasn't as bad because I figured most people are still coming into their own in their 20's, that people are more mature, more stable in their 30's, and that I still had plenty of time and I was sure that love would find me in that decade.
here I stand now, though, closing out that decade and still no prospects. I get many people telling me, "oh, don't give up! I know so-and-so who was 45 when they married or such and such who was in their 50's when they got married!" Or better yet "my cousin is a large woman and she found someone!" My question is, though, had so-and-so never dated before they found the person they married? I've met many people who are still single at my age and older, but they've all at least dated. Even my sister, who is on the autism spectrum, has at least been on a couple of dates. So it leaves me wondering at what point does a person face reality and try to come to terms with the fact that its just not going to happen? Especially if they're reaching my age having never been on a date, never been asked on a date, and hardly had any interest shown at all? And when they realize that there just doesn't seem to be any prospects in the small town, rural area in which they live? This is home and I don't want to live anywhere else, but it has big limitations, especially since most of my generation is gone from the area and the people here are mostly retirees.
My best friend, who is also single, tells me that I'm just going through a biological thing and when I start into the change of life that the desire for a mate and children will fade away. She claims that is what has happened to her. Who knows? maybe she's right.
Meanwhile, it does leave me half believing that either there just isn't someone out there for me, or I somehow screwed it up either because I wasted my eligible years being obese and because of my awkward personality, so if I did come across the one, he passed on by.
But that's just the inner war between the realist in me and the romantic side The realist says quit pining after things that aren't meant to be; that the grass isn't greener on the other side, and listen to the many friends I have that complain constantly about their significant other and tell me I'm the lucky one for still being single.
It is interesting how the married or involved people seem to envy the singles and the singles envy the involved. I suppose its human nature to never be satisfied lol6 -
I’ve had varying experiences with online dating.... One woman turned out to be bat crap bananas, and was blocked from any means of contact I could think of. One woman was wonderful, creative, fun, and caring. I sometimes wonder what could have been if I hadn’t of ruined it like I usually do. Many others resulted in simple yet enjoyable conversation.... That being said, I’m not sad that I don’t have to use those apps anymore.6
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George_of_the_Jungle wrote: »isalsayourface123 wrote: »isalsayourface123 wrote: »
Ok I know it is a bit soon, 4 dates in 2 weeks, but he asked me to be his gf today. Great connection. ❤️
So I guess something good came out of Tinder.
Aaawww. My last bf it was date 2. So if it works it works.
Oh ok cool. Normally, I move a bit slower but it just felt right. We are both 37 with no kids, know what we want, are very open with each other, and surprisingly compatible.
I know you can’t always know someone’s true self so early on but I just get the most real and genuine vibe from him. I’m very happy.
FEET THO? 🤗🤗
Yes, George! He does feet! 😋🥰
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CanesGalactica wrote: »isalsayourface123 wrote: »
Ok I know it is a bit soon, 4 dates in 2 weeks, but he asked me to be his gf today. Great connection. ❤️
So I guess something good came out of Tinder.
That's not soon, that's great! You've had a good number of dates and have a connection, go for it!
Thanks!
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lauragreenbaum wrote: »michaelroode1980 wrote: »Can I ask what you think of my profile if there is anything wrong with it?
Hi- nothing wrong with it, but I do have a few suggestions. I would take out the picture of you holding the suitcases and replace it with a more professional or dressed up photo. You say you're in banking but all your pics are very casual. I think pics of your kids is fine- they are very important to you and a prospective date should know that. Don't worry about the height- I'm 5'3" and there are a lot of short women out there. Stop smoking- honestly that is a HUGE turn off to a lot of people. Or, just leave it out of your profile and on a date ask if smoking bothers them- if so be honest and tell her then you smoke socially but promise never to smoke in front of her. When I was on dating sites I would immediately eliminate anyone who smokes. One final thing- I would take out "must have family values"- that sounds a little judgey and rigid. You already note that you are Christian and have kids, so it's kind of a given.
Now I have to take a photo at work Thank you for the feedback really appreciate the feed back5 -
isalsayourface123 wrote: »
Ok I know it is a bit soon, 4 dates in 2 weeks, but he asked me to be his gf today. Great connection. ❤️
So I guess something good came out of Tinder.
I'm SOOO excited for you!!!
Hopefully some nice guy will ask me to be his girlfriend one day.0 -
bmeadows380 wrote: »Deadman_Diggingup wrote: »
It’s kind of both, at least for me. I like an independent, confident woman that doesn’t need me in the strictest sense, but appreciates that I want to take care of her anyway I can. Simply put, I want her to be able to do it all, but never have to.
Now see, that's what I'm looking fortbright1965 wrote: »
Nothing wrong with being intimidating because you are competent. You will only intimidate those who are unable to care for themselves.
I'd say you family is sort of right, but not to the extent that you need to change. Sounds to me it will take an exceptional person to be your partner. Nothing wrong with that. Which is worse, quickly settling for something less than you want, or holding out for something better?
Only you can decide.
I stand firmly by the idea that there are much worse things out there than being single, that's for sure - I've had plenty of examples from friends and family!HoneyBadger155 wrote: »
Oh do I feel that pain - I've heard that from more than a few people - that I don't "need" someone, and that I'm intimidating (I'll admit I'm not exactly a bubbly personality), and reality is, I've been single long enough that no, I really don't need a man to survive and do what I want to do. Doesn't mean I wouldn't like to share life with someone, but I think it would take a unique guy - and at my age, those are fewer and fewer between.
I've tried the online dating thing, and the amount of work sunk into a variety of unsuccessful dates (and one that did turn into someone I dated for about 6 months), just doesn't make the time suck worth it for me. I guess I'm too busy living life to be spending the time required - dating just isn't a priority in that way for me.
That's my case. I'm looking 40 right in the face in a short 5 months from now, and that's the one thing that I find difficult about reaching that milestone. It's not the age itself; the number doesn't bother me and I figure I only have to be as old as I feel anyway; its the fact that the one thing that I had always thought would happen since I was a child, the one thing that I really and truly wanted, has never happened. Reaching 30 having never dated or even been asked out wasn't as bad because I figured most people are still coming into their own in their 20's, that people are more mature, more stable in their 30's, and that I still had plenty of time and I was sure that love would find me in that decade.
here I stand now, though, closing out that decade and still no prospects. I get many people telling me, "oh, don't give up! I know so-and-so who was 45 when they married or such and such who was in their 50's when they got married!" Or better yet "my cousin is a large woman and she found someone!" My question is, though, had so-and-so never dated before they found the person they married? I've met many people who are still single at my age and older, but they've all at least dated. Even my sister, who is on the autism spectrum, has at least been on a couple of dates. So it leaves me wondering at what point does a person face reality and try to come to terms with the fact that its just not going to happen? Especially if they're reaching my age having never been on a date, never been asked on a date, and hardly had any interest shown at all? And when they realize that there just doesn't seem to be any prospects in the small town, rural area in which they live? This is home and I don't want to live anywhere else, but it has big limitations, especially since most of my generation is gone from the area and the people here are mostly retirees.
My best friend, who is also single, tells me that I'm just going through a biological thing and when I start into the change of life that the desire for a mate and children will fade away. She claims that is what has happened to her. Who knows? maybe she's right.
Meanwhile, it does leave me half believing that either there just isn't someone out there for me, or I somehow screwed it up either because I wasted my eligible years being obese and because of my awkward personality, so if I did come across the one, he passed on by.
But that's just the inner war between the realist in me and the romantic side The realist says quit pining after things that aren't meant to be; that the grass isn't greener on the other side, and listen to the many friends I have that complain constantly about their significant other and tell me I'm the lucky one for still being single.
It is interesting how the married or involved people seem to envy the singles and the singles envy the involved. I suppose its human nature to never be satisfied lol
While I want to say that there is always hope, because it's true..... I also want to be realistic.
If you are in a small rural town where most people your age are gone and it's just retirees that have stayed, then it sounds like dating prospects are very slim to none.... unless you are interested in retirees.
What about towns nearby? Any that are close? Within 15-30 minutes? I understand not wanting to leave home, but maybe you will meet someone in a different town who would be willing to move?3 -
isalsayourface123 wrote: »
Ok I know it is a bit soon, 4 dates in 2 weeks, but he asked me to be his gf today. Great connection. ❤️
So I guess something good came out of Tinder.
People in the 30's ask people to be their bf or gf still? Didn't happen in my 30s. We just usually confirm exclusivity, and you kind of grow into the relationship from there0 -
Cutemesoon wrote: »isalsayourface123 wrote: »
Ok I know it is a bit soon, 4 dates in 2 weeks, but he asked me to be his gf today. Great connection. ❤️
So I guess something good came out of Tinder.
I'm SOOO excited for you!!!
Hopefully some nice guy will ask me to be his girlfriend one day.
Yes!isalsayourface123 wrote: »
Ok I know it is a bit soon, 4 dates in 2 weeks, but he asked me to be his gf today. Great connection. ❤️
So I guess something good came out of Tinder.
People in the 30's ask people to be their bf or gf still? Didn't happen in my 30s. We just usually confirm exclusivity, and you kind of grow into the relationship from there
Apparently so.
My best friend also just got into a new relationship and she confirmed the guy formally asked her the same thing. They are also both 37.
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Yeah, maybe its better to be sure than just implied.....takes the guessing and excuses out.10
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I think I would be open to it. Every good relationship starts with a conversation. That conversation can happen online as much as it can in person.1
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While I want to say that there is always hope, because it's true..... I also want to be realistic.
If you are in a small rural town where most people your age are gone and it's just retirees that have stayed, then it sounds like dating prospects are very slim to none.... unless you are interested in retirees.
What about towns nearby? Any that are close? Within 15-30 minutes? I understand not wanting to leave home, but maybe you will meet someone in a different town who would be willing to move?
I live in a rural state but my job does take me all over. While the community I live is has a population under 1,000 and most of those being retirees, I do work in the county seat 25 miles away, though that town's population may be 4,000 at best. My job also takes me periodically to the northern, more populated areas of the state as well, but opportunities for socializing are limited when I do head north. I have a job in a field that is predominately male, but that is most likely working against me - I figure I end up being categorized as "one of the guys". And there's the fact that the majority of the men I am in contact with are already in a relationship and thus unavailable.
However, as much as I try to maintain hope, I too want to be realistic. I lived in the suburbs of Pittsburgh for 3 years and within the region for another 8. I then moved back to my home state and lived in the northern area with its younger population for another 2 years before taking the position that brought me home to where I currently am living. In all that time, I never seemed to figure out where one went for socializing (other than a bar, and since I don't drink and don't care to be around alcohol, I never went to bars except to grab a bite to eat) or even how one actually went about socializing. The church I attend and serve in has a stark lack of people my age, but that's true of most of the churches in my area, and I choose a church based upon factors that are more important to me than demographics. Though with my values and worldview, church would be the best place to come across someone likely to be compatible with me. I've also went on trips to conferences and such where people with similar interests gathered and I did mingle and socialize at such events.
I do get out and do things; I don't always just sit at home. I shop, I visit parks, go to movies and other events in the area that pique my interest, go to local fairs and festivals. I like to think that I'm friendly and open when in public, but more than likely, I just come across as weird and childish or annoying (pretty much like I do in writing....) I'm probably unconsciously projecting something that turns people off; I just haven't figure out yet just what that is to even begin to know how to change it.
So online dating probably would be about my only chance, but that hasn't seemed very hopeful in the few instances where I toed the water, so to speak.Cutemesoon wrote: »
People in the 30's ask people to be their bf or gf still? Didn't happen in my 30s. We just usually confirm exclusivity, and you kind of grow into the relationship from there
Apparently so.
My best friend also just got into a new relationship and she confirmed the guy formally asked her the same thing. They are also both 37.
I admit that at 39, I would find it a little odd to refer to someone as my boyfriend, but then again, what else would you call them? Lover is rather blunt for polite society and implies way more than the relationship may have actually progressed to; friend implies the direct opposite. Beau seems a little out of touch these days. "This guy/gal I'm seeing" is needlessly wordy. Any ideas?0 -
CanesGalactica wrote: »isalsayourface123 wrote: »
Ok I know it is a bit soon, 4 dates in 2 weeks, but he asked me to be his gf today. Great connection. ❤️
So I guess something good came out of Tinder.
That's not soon, that's great! You've had a good number of dates and have a connection, go for it!
Thanks!
I echo the congratulations! I'm happy for you and really hope it all works out for the best!2 -
bmeadows380 wrote: »
While I want to say that there is always hope, because it's true..... I also want to be realistic.
If you are in a small rural town where most people your age are gone and it's just retirees that have stayed, then it sounds like dating prospects are very slim to none.... unless you are interested in retirees.
What about towns nearby? Any that are close? Within 15-30 minutes? I understand not wanting to leave home, but maybe you will meet someone in a different town who would be willing to move?
I live in a rural state but my job does take me all over. While the community I live is has a population under 1,000 and most of those being retirees, I do work in the county seat 25 miles away, though that town's population may be 4,000 at best. My job also takes me periodically to the northern, more populated areas of the state as well, but opportunities for socializing are limited when I do head north. I have a job in a field that is predominately male, but that is most likely working against me - I figure I end up being categorized as "one of the guys". And there's the fact that the majority of the men I am in contact with are already in a relationship and thus unavailable.
However, as much as I try to maintain hope, I too want to be realistic. I lived in the suburbs of Pittsburgh for 3 years and within the region for another 8. I then moved back to my home state and lived in the northern area with its younger population for another 2 years before taking the position that brought me home to where I currently am living. In all that time, I never seemed to figure out where one went for socializing (other than a bar, and since I don't drink and don't care to be around alcohol, I never went to bars except to grab a bite to eat) or even how one actually went about socializing. The church I attend and serve in has a stark lack of people my age, but that's true of most of the churches in my area, and I choose a church based upon factors that are more important to me than demographics. Though with my values and worldview, church would be the best place to come across someone likely to be compatible with me. I've also went on trips to conferences and such where people with similar interests gathered and I did mingle and socialize at such events.
I do get out and do things; I don't always just sit at home. I shop, I visit parks, go to movies and other events in the area that pique my interest, go to local fairs and festivals. I like to think that I'm friendly and open when in public, but more than likely, I just come across as weird and childish or annoying (pretty much like I do in writing....) I'm probably unconsciously projecting something that turns people off; I just haven't figure out yet just what that is to even begin to know how to change it.
So online dating probably would be about my only chance, but that hasn't seemed very hopeful in the few instances where I toed the water, so to speak.Cutemesoon wrote: »
People in the 30's ask people to be their bf or gf still? Didn't happen in my 30s. We just usually confirm exclusivity, and you kind of grow into the relationship from there
Apparently so.
My best friend also just got into a new relationship and she confirmed the guy formally asked her the same thing. They are also both 37.
I admit that at 39, I would find it a little odd to refer to someone as my boyfriend, but then again, what else would you call them? Lover is rather blunt for polite society and implies way more than the relationship may have actually progressed to; friend implies the direct opposite. Beau seems a little out of touch these days. "This guy/gal I'm seeing" is needlessly wordy. Any ideas?
I agree that the term seems more applicable to younger people. Not sure what a better option is.
I call him boo 😋
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bmeadows380 wrote: »
While I want to say that there is always hope, because it's true..... I also want to be realistic.
If you are in a small rural town where most people your age are gone and it's just retirees that have stayed, then it sounds like dating prospects are very slim to none.... unless you are interested in retirees.
What about towns nearby? Any that are close? Within 15-30 minutes? I understand not wanting to leave home, but maybe you will meet someone in a different town who would be willing to move?
I live in a rural state but my job does take me all over. While the community I live is has a population under 1,000 and most of those being retirees, I do work in the county seat 25 miles away, though that town's population may be 4,000 at best. My job also takes me periodically to the northern, more populated areas of the state as well, but opportunities for socializing are limited when I do head north. I have a job in a field that is predominately male, but that is most likely working against me - I figure I end up being categorized as "one of the guys". And there's the fact that the majority of the men I am in contact with are already in a relationship and thus unavailable.
However, as much as I try to maintain hope, I too want to be realistic. I lived in the suburbs of Pittsburgh for 3 years and within the region for another 8. I then moved back to my home state and lived in the northern area with its younger population for another 2 years before taking the position that brought me home to where I currently am living. In all that time, I never seemed to figure out where one went for socializing (other than a bar, and since I don't drink and don't care to be around alcohol, I never went to bars except to grab a bite to eat) or even how one actually went about socializing. The church I attend and serve in has a stark lack of people my age, but that's true of most of the churches in my area, and I choose a church based upon factors that are more important to me than demographics. Though with my values and worldview, church would be the best place to come across someone likely to be compatible with me. I've also went on trips to conferences and such where people with similar interests gathered and I did mingle and socialize at such events.
I do get out and do things; I don't always just sit at home. I shop, I visit parks, go to movies and other events in the area that pique my interest, go to local fairs and festivals. I like to think that I'm friendly and open when in public, but more than likely, I just come across as weird and childish or annoying (pretty much like I do in writing....) I'm probably unconsciously projecting something that turns people off; I just haven't figure out yet just what that is to even begin to know how to change it.
So online dating probably would be about my only chance, but that hasn't seemed very hopeful in the few instances where I toed the water, so to speak.Cutemesoon wrote: »
People in the 30's ask people to be their bf or gf still? Didn't happen in my 30s. We just usually confirm exclusivity, and you kind of grow into the relationship from there
Apparently so.
My best friend also just got into a new relationship and she confirmed the guy formally asked her the same thing. They are also both 37.
I admit that at 39, I would find it a little odd to refer to someone as my boyfriend, but then again, what else would you call them? Lover is rather blunt for polite society and implies way more than the relationship may have actually progressed to; friend implies the direct opposite. Beau seems a little out of touch these days. "This guy/gal I'm seeing" is needlessly wordy. Any ideas?
I agree that the term seems more applicable to younger people. Not sure what a better option is.
I call him boo 😋
Partner, or dont have to call them anything, refer to them by name.
This is so and so, instead of this is my gf/bf so and so.0 -
bmeadows380 wrote: »
While I want to say that there is always hope, because it's true..... I also want to be realistic.
If you are in a small rural town where most people your age are gone and it's just retirees that have stayed, then it sounds like dating prospects are very slim to none.... unless you are interested in retirees.
What about towns nearby? Any that are close? Within 15-30 minutes? I understand not wanting to leave home, but maybe you will meet someone in a different town who would be willing to move?
I live in a rural state but my job does take me all over. While the community I live is has a population under 1,000 and most of those being retirees, I do work in the county seat 25 miles away, though that town's population may be 4,000 at best. My job also takes me periodically to the northern, more populated areas of the state as well, but opportunities for socializing are limited when I do head north. I have a job in a field that is predominately male, but that is most likely working against me - I figure I end up being categorized as "one of the guys". And there's the fact that the majority of the men I am in contact with are already in a relationship and thus unavailable.
However, as much as I try to maintain hope, I too want to be realistic. I lived in the suburbs of Pittsburgh for 3 years and within the region for another 8. I then moved back to my home state and lived in the northern area with its younger population for another 2 years before taking the position that brought me home to where I currently am living. In all that time, I never seemed to figure out where one went for socializing (other than a bar, and since I don't drink and don't care to be around alcohol, I never went to bars except to grab a bite to eat) or even how one actually went about socializing. The church I attend and serve in has a stark lack of people my age, but that's true of most of the churches in my area, and I choose a church based upon factors that are more important to me than demographics. Though with my values and worldview, church would be the best place to come across someone likely to be compatible with me. I've also went on trips to conferences and such where people with similar interests gathered and I did mingle and socialize at such events.
I do get out and do things; I don't always just sit at home. I shop, I visit parks, go to movies and other events in the area that pique my interest, go to local fairs and festivals. I like to think that I'm friendly and open when in public, but more than likely, I just come across as weird and childish or annoying (pretty much like I do in writing....) I'm probably unconsciously projecting something that turns people off; I just haven't figure out yet just what that is to even begin to know how to change it.
So online dating probably would be about my only chance, but that hasn't seemed very hopeful in the few instances where I toed the water, so to speak.Cutemesoon wrote: »
People in the 30's ask people to be their bf or gf still? Didn't happen in my 30s. We just usually confirm exclusivity, and you kind of grow into the relationship from there
Apparently so.
My best friend also just got into a new relationship and she confirmed the guy formally asked her the same thing. They are also both 37.
I admit that at 39, I would find it a little odd to refer to someone as my boyfriend, but then again, what else would you call them? Lover is rather blunt for polite society and implies way more than the relationship may have actually progressed to; friend implies the direct opposite. Beau seems a little out of touch these days. "This guy/gal I'm seeing" is needlessly wordy. Any ideas?
I agree that the term seems more applicable to younger people. Not sure what a better option is.
I call him boo 😋
Partner, or dont have to call them anything, refer to them by name.
This is so and so, instead of this is my gf/bf so and so.
I usually use partner. Then I struggle with how to introduce the fellow I work with who is my "partner" in a colleague sense, very distinct from other coworkers.0 -
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michaelroode1980 wrote: »lauragreenbaum wrote: »michaelroode1980 wrote: »Can I ask what you think of my profile if there is anything wrong with it?
Hi- nothing wrong with it, but I do have a few suggestions. I would take out the picture of you holding the suitcases and replace it with a more professional or dressed up photo. You say you're in banking but all your pics are very casual. I think pics of your kids is fine- they are very important to you and a prospective date should know that. Don't worry about the height- I'm 5'3" and there are a lot of short women out there. Stop smoking- honestly that is a HUGE turn off to a lot of people. Or, just leave it out of your profile and on a date ask if smoking bothers them- if so be honest and tell her then you smoke socially but promise never to smoke in front of her. When I was on dating sites I would immediately eliminate anyone who smokes. One final thing- I would take out "must have family values"- that sounds a little judgey and rigid. You already note that you are Christian and have kids, so it's kind of a given.
Now I have to take a photo at work Thank you for the feedback really appreciate the feed back
Happy to help. If you want to post the professional photos, happy to give feedback on those, too!0 -
Not that anyone asked, but I'm kind of done with dating. I feel like I've been with a guy since I was 15 years old. Dated many guys my whole life- I don't think I ever went more than 6 months without a steady BF. Waiting til I was 39 to get married- husband cheated on me 1 year into the marriage. Stayed with him, got counseling, tried to forgive, bla, bla, bla. 10 years later found he had been cheating on me again. Done and done. Got divorced 4 years ago, am now 56 and have no interest in dating at all. I have tons of friends, travel a lot for work and pleasure, have the best dog in the world....and I'm happy. Yeah...sometimes I get a bit lonely, but for me it's an ok trade off for not having to deal with all the relationship stuff I hear my friends talk about. Of course now having said all that I'll probably meet the love of my life at Trader Joes. LOL.6
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I can't speak for your rural area, but I go to board game events, and meetup events to socialize. As for figuring out how to actually socialize...its a skill not everyone learns growing up. Good news is, you can learn it when you an adult. Though it does tend to be much harder.1
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Howdi lol1
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Do you think that if men approached women more in public and asked them out the woman would be caught off guard? Or still might expect it? The dating world is difficult. I'm not having much luck with online dating.
I'm a guy so here's my opinion. First of all, I've given up on checking for wedding rings. Too many single women are wearing rings on that finger for it to be a useful method of determining who is single.
I don't think that it's a good idea for a man to walk up to a woman and immediately ask her out for coffee. But after 5 minutes of talking, I don't think that is wrong to do. Some women won't like it even after 30 minutes of talking.1 -
Do you think that if men approached women more in public and asked them out the woman would be caught off guard? Or still might expect it? The dating world is difficult. I'm not having much luck with online dating.
I'm a guy so here's my opinion. First of all, I've given up on checking for wedding rings. Too many single women are wearing rings on that finger for it to be a useful method of determining who is single.
I don't think that it's a good idea for a man to walk up to a woman and immediately ask her out for coffee. But after 5 minutes of talking, I don't think that is wrong to do. Some women won't like it even after 30 minutes of talking.
I agree with this. I think it's a bit much for a guy to come bounding across the produce section at some hottie and immediately ask for her number while wiping the drool from his chin. But if you strike up a casual conversation and she seems friendly and receptive, an invitation for further interaction probably wouldn't go amiss.2 -
bmeadows380 wrote: »
While I want to say that there is always hope, because it's true..... I also want to be realistic.
If you are in a small rural town where most people your age are gone and it's just retirees that have stayed, then it sounds like dating prospects are very slim to none.... unless you are interested in retirees.
What about towns nearby? Any that are close? Within 15-30 minutes? I understand not wanting to leave home, but maybe you will meet someone in a different town who would be willing to move?
I live in a rural state but my job does take me all over. While the community I live is has a population under 1,000 and most of those being retirees, I do work in the county seat 25 miles away, though that town's population may be 4,000 at best. My job also takes me periodically to the northern, more populated areas of the state as well, but opportunities for socializing are limited when I do head north. I have a job in a field that is predominately male, but that is most likely working against me - I figure I end up being categorized as "one of the guys". And there's the fact that the majority of the men I am in contact with are already in a relationship and thus unavailable.
However, as much as I try to maintain hope, I too want to be realistic. I lived in the suburbs of Pittsburgh for 3 years and within the region for another 8. I then moved back to my home state and lived in the northern area with its younger population for another 2 years before taking the position that brought me home to where I currently am living. In all that time, I never seemed to figure out where one went for socializing (other than a bar, and since I don't drink and don't care to be around alcohol, I never went to bars except to grab a bite to eat) or even how one actually went about socializing. The church I attend and serve in has a stark lack of people my age, but that's true of most of the churches in my area, and I choose a church based upon factors that are more important to me than demographics. Though with my values and worldview, church would be the best place to come across someone likely to be compatible with me. I've also went on trips to conferences and such where people with similar interests gathered and I did mingle and socialize at such events.
I do get out and do things; I don't always just sit at home. I shop, I visit parks, go to movies and other events in the area that pique my interest, go to local fairs and festivals. I like to think that I'm friendly and open when in public, but more than likely, I just come across as weird and childish or annoying (pretty much like I do in writing....) I'm probably unconsciously projecting something that turns people off; I just haven't figure out yet just what that is to even begin to know how to change it.
So online dating probably would be about my only chance, but that hasn't seemed very hopeful in the few instances where I toed the water, so to speak.Cutemesoon wrote: »
People in the 30's ask people to be their bf or gf still? Didn't happen in my 30s. We just usually confirm exclusivity, and you kind of grow into the relationship from there
Apparently so.
My best friend also just got into a new relationship and she confirmed the guy formally asked her the same thing. They are also both 37.
I admit that at 39, I would find it a little odd to refer to someone as my boyfriend, but then again, what else would you call them? Lover is rather blunt for polite society and implies way more than the relationship may have actually progressed to; friend implies the direct opposite. Beau seems a little out of touch these days. "This guy/gal I'm seeing" is needlessly wordy. Any ideas?
I agree that the term seems more applicable to younger people. Not sure what a better option is.
I call him boo 😋
Partner, or dont have to call them anything, refer to them by name.
This is so and so, instead of this is my gf/bf so and so.
But that doesn’t define who they are to you. For all anyone knows, you’re introducing a family member or friend.
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