Online dating

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  • nooshi713
    nooshi713 Posts: 4,877 Member
    bmeadows380 wrote: »
    nooshi713 wrote: »
    erickirb wrote: »

    Partner, or dont have to call them anything, refer to them by name.

    This is so and so, instead of this is my gf/bf so and so.

    But that doesn’t define who they are to you. For all anyone knows, you’re introducing a family member or friend.

    partner does seem ambiguous.

    I looked up "boyfriend" on Thesaurus.com and got some interesting synonyms. Partner is there, along with beau, suitor, sweetheart, admirer, flame, steady, date, and the retro "swain" lol Though I found "follower" to be a rather odd choice; I'd probably equate that more to stalker than boyfriend ;)

    Lol @ follower
  • threewins
    threewins Posts: 1,455 Member
    I tend to keep "partner" for women I have shacked up with. Girl/boyfriend for dating (even though I am 55). There is a huge difference between living with someone and seeing them even 6 days a week.
  • 777Gemma888
    777Gemma888 Posts: 9,578 Member
    bmeadows380 wrote: »
    nooshi713 wrote: »
    erickirb wrote: »

    Partner, or dont have to call them anything, refer to them by name.

    This is so and so, instead of this is my gf/bf so and so.

    But that doesn’t define who they are to you. For all anyone knows, you’re introducing a family member or friend.

    partner does seem ambiguous.

    I looked up "boyfriend" on Thesaurus.com and got some interesting synonyms. Partner is there, along with beau, suitor, sweetheart, admirer, flame, steady, date, and the retro "swain" lol Though I found "follower" to be a rather odd choice; I'd probably equate that more to stalker than boyfriend ;)

    Many active members on MFP simply write or say 'significant other' or abbreviate it as SO.
  • ythannah
    ythannah Posts: 4,371 Member
    777Gemma888 wrote: »
    bmeadows380 wrote: »
    nooshi713 wrote: »
    erickirb wrote: »

    Partner, or dont have to call them anything, refer to them by name.

    This is so and so, instead of this is my gf/bf so and so.

    But that doesn’t define who they are to you. For all anyone knows, you’re introducing a family member or friend.

    partner does seem ambiguous.

    I looked up "boyfriend" on Thesaurus.com and got some interesting synonyms. Partner is there, along with beau, suitor, sweetheart, admirer, flame, steady, date, and the retro "swain" lol Though I found "follower" to be a rather odd choice; I'd probably equate that more to stalker than boyfriend ;)

    Many active members on MFP simply write or say 'significant other' or abbreviate it as SO.

    I refer to him as SO on here but it doesn't trip off the tongue very well during a verbal introduction.

    I've often used "better half" introducing him to someone who already knows I have a partner/boyfriend/significant other. More formal introductions he's my partner.
  • HappilyDistracted
    HappilyDistracted Posts: 1,700 Member
    1sphere wrote: »
    LyndaBSS wrote: »
    nooshi713 wrote: »
    1sphere wrote: »
    nooshi713 wrote: »
    1sphere wrote: »
    nooshi713 wrote: »
    1sphere wrote: »
    nooshi713 wrote: »
    1sphere wrote: »
    just_Tomek wrote: »
    Because of this thread I just signed on on tinder.
    I did too. I got 3 or 4 matches after a month. Results were a failure as anticipated.

    here's the trend:
    1. Girl replies hi
    2. Girl feels a (likely) instant sense of fear and distrust
    3. Girl decides it is best not to communicate any further and the approach is ghosting

    I'm thinking that if you're under 35 whereabouts - girls see Tinder as some kind of game, and guys take the thing for serious


    Absolutely untrue.
    You cannot say what’s untrue since you are not a man, and you don’t know what it’s like on the male side of using the apps.

    Do I have to screenshot it for you?

    You saying men are serious is directly opposite of my experience though. More women than men tend to want to actually date or find a relationship. More guys tend to look for casual flings. This is generally true. Doesn’t mean there aren’t exceptions.
    A lot of women sign up with expectations such as finding a long term relationship, they also set their standards extremely high, and in a way this makes them out to be not taking it for real with unrealistic standards (ie. not practically giving anyone a chance). The end result is that they’re just there to lurk and seek attention. I’m not saying this is you, you’re probably realistic and mature... but this seems to be most people, you can even see it in the profile descriptions that they seek the ideal fairytale; stamping down the words “prince perfect” and “long term”. It ends up making you think that they’re crazy.

    Long term does not suggest crazy. The fact that you think so makes me think you’re the crazy one.
    Desiring a long term relationship is absolutely fine, and healthy of course. But explicitly stating that you want a long term instantly is nuts. Don’t you think that it makes more sense to seek short term relationships initially to see if there’s a good chemistry? And then eventually build it into a long term in *reality*?

    Saying one wants something long term doesn’t mean they expect it instantly. You’re doing an awful lot of assuming. Anything before a relationship is just dating.

    This ^^^^

    I would absolutely put long term relationship as my reason for being on the site, if that’s what I wanted.

    You’d be amazed how that would be a deterrent for guys who aren’t there for the same reason. Weeds out the losers. 🥰
    It's important to remember that guys don't think exactly the same way that women do. Stating "long term" puts pressure on you to be the perfect man, it makes us run 100 miles even though we may also desire a long term relationship. I talked to guys about this before.

    Or fly a thousand miles to meet 😏 ... At least that was my experience. Met on Tinder, dated briefly, and that evolved into a very strong friendship.

    Btw - as a female doing online dating, I get inundated. 100s of likes, matches, etc in short periods of time. Which sounds awesome, but I can have no picture up and still have men trying to hit me up.... Standards. 🙄 So, obviously, most of these are not the quality men I am interested in. And after wading through unsolicited dick pics and booty calls I get tired of talking to people. Who knew.

    On the flipside, The males I know typically have a handful of matches and responses at best. Total polar opposite in terms of experiences.
  • 777Gemma888
    777Gemma888 Posts: 9,578 Member
    ythannah wrote: »
    777Gemma888 wrote: »
    bmeadows380 wrote: »
    nooshi713 wrote: »
    erickirb wrote: »

    Partner, or dont have to call them anything, refer to them by name.

    This is so and so, instead of this is my gf/bf so and so.

    But that doesn’t define who they are to you. For all anyone knows, you’re introducing a family member or friend.

    partner does seem ambiguous.

    I looked up "boyfriend" on Thesaurus.com and got some interesting synonyms. Partner is there, along with beau, suitor, sweetheart, admirer, flame, steady, date, and the retro "swain" lol Though I found "follower" to be a rather odd choice; I'd probably equate that more to stalker than boyfriend ;)

    Many active members on MFP simply write or say 'significant other' or abbreviate it as SO.

    I refer to him as SO on here but it doesn't trip off the tongue very well during a verbal introduction.

    I've often used "better half" introducing him to someone who already knows I have a partner/boyfriend/significant other. More formal introductions he's my partner.

    It does seem unnatural to say, I agree. I've always deemed it impolite to pry as to the nature of one's relationship with their plus ones, given that some don't even attend with their wives or resident plus ones necessarily. I have heard 'friend' more than SO or any other term of reference to be honest.
  • bmeadows380
    bmeadows380 Posts: 2,981 Member
    threewins wrote: »
    I tend to keep "partner" for women I have shacked up with. Girl/boyfriend for dating (even though I am 55). There is a huge difference between living with someone and seeing them even 6 days a week.

    just curious: is that term even still used these days, and do the younger generations even know what it means? lol I hear it where I live once in a while, but I'm middle aged and in a rural area that is about 20 years behind the times. Just wondering if it is still relevant


    mattig89ch wrote: »
    I can't speak for your rural area, but I go to board game events, and meetup events to socialize. As for figuring out how to actually socialize...its a skill not everyone learns growing up. Good news is, you can learn it when you an adult. Though it does tend to be much harder.

    Board game events sound like a blast, and I wish they had something like that around here! (I wish they had social activities for adults other than a bar scene period....) I've got a cupboard full of them, but never really get to play. About the only thing you can talk my family into playing is yahtzee with mom or upwords once in a while. About once a year around Christmas I can pull them into a game of dominoes or rummy. My sister wants to play pop culture quiz type games, but she's also the sort that isn't so fun to play with when she's losing......

    Socializing is probably a skill learned from your parents, and when I look back, I realize why I don't have much experience with it - my parents were very secluded. We never went to people's homes or to social events, and when we did go to church dinners and the family reunion each year, my parents for the most part sat off to the side. They were polite to those who spoke to them, but they rarely started a conversation themselves.

    I was very much a wallflower when I was a teen - the sort who sat in the shadows on the sidelines and had my nose buried in a book. Then I went to college and left the area for about 15 years. I moved back to my hometown about 2 years ago. While I was away, I had opened up and learned to start conversations and talk to people. It really shocked the folks I had grown up around, and even my mother makes comments on it, though they are usually along the lines of "oh yeah, she's not the quiet mouse she was as a teen; now you can't shut her up!" *eye roll*

    1sphere wrote: »
    I find that I can't do small talk no matter what. And when I try, it's just nodding or "oh yea"/"yea" words. I'm starting to think to the extreme that I may even have some degree of autism.

    I've learned to small talk, but I'm not very good at ending a conversation. And I usually spend the next hour afterwards castigating myself because of how childish or weird I probably sounded when I analyze the conversation. I often wondered, too, if I was on the autism spectrum, but after going through the list of symptoms, while I can definitely recognize what used to be called Asperger's in my sister and to a degree in my father, I don't really see it in me. I especially see the difference when I take my sister out into public.

    I'm just an introvert, I suppose. I like my alone time and I can be open one on one, but hate being the center of attention and prefer small groups; the larger the group, the quieter I get. And I only really open up to some people; there are some who will tell you I'll talk the ear off a sign post; there will be others who can't even imagine me being that talkative. It really depends on the vibe I pick up from the person in question; if they seem friendly and open, I'm more comfortable getting into a conversation, but if they seem closed off or intimidating or they seem to resonate a dislike, I tend to shy away.

    I think I'm one of those extroverted introverts :)
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    edited November 2019
    This content has been removed.
  • bmeadows380
    bmeadows380 Posts: 2,981 Member
    Reckoner68 wrote: »
    I've been dating all of you online for what is, I think, a few weeks now. Truth be told, it's felt like a dozen eternities. I think it might be time for us to take some time off, you know? Spend some time apart? I think it would be good for everybody here.

    I sincerely hope that you're able to find someone who really fulfills that desire within you. As for me, I'm going to take my online-dating time and just convert it into bitcoin.

    But - I thought we had made a connection of the soul! What do you mean take some time off? I can't live without you! :)

    Might make a bit more if you invest it in confederate greenbacks instead. (course, if you happen to have some, they might actually be valuable these days)
  • ythannah
    ythannah Posts: 4,371 Member
    thereshegoesagain wrote: »
    Today I got a message from a 32 year old man who lives an hour away, saying I'm beautiful and he wants to meet me.
    I thanked him for the complimented pointed out that I'm 61 years old and not interested.
    He said that he likes older women. I told him I like older men and want someone who lives closer. Thanks, but no.
    About 2 hours later he texted me that he's in my town and where should he pick me up for dinner.
    I gave him the address of the Police department? 20 minutes later he blocked me.
    It kinda cracks me up but also makes me uneasy that he drove such a distance when his attention was unwanted.
    Do you think I should report him to Match.com?

    That's beyond creepy. You turn him down twice and he still shows up expecting a date? I'd report him. Maybe he's just pushy, or maybe you're saving another woman from a dangerous encounter.
  • thereshegoesagain
    thereshegoesagain Posts: 1,056 Member
    I'm trying to report him but because he blocked me, I can pull.his profile to report on. So frustrating! I need to wait until the morning to phone it in
    I did a screen shot of his photos to run a reverse image search ( nothing came up on any of them) so have those to fall back on if needed.
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    This content has been removed.
  • Finishiitnow
    Finishiitnow Posts: 896 Member
    funjen1972 wrote: »
    I find online dating only works if you actually meet rather quickly, unless you just want something casual or to stay online. My best experiences were with men I chatted with briefly online, then met (at a neutral public location) within a week or so.

    I met the love of my life on Bumble 💕

    I love ROMANTIC stories....
  • baebabu
    baebabu Posts: 214 Member
    probably not, but now you can't really meet anyone outside.
  • eng_maaka1981
    eng_maaka1981 Posts: 763 Member
    It's good when it happens with real people looking for something long not one stand night and disappear. Then, it's turns into the best when they can meet in reality
  • metaphysicalstudio
    metaphysicalstudio Posts: 293 Member
    I used okcupid and met my husband there.
  • ajlmfp22
    ajlmfp22 Posts: 54 Member
    Hit or miss depending on a number of factors, especially with the pandemic happening. I didn't have any success even just trying match with women on Tinder, Bumble, or OKCupid personally. But I had no problem matching with men on Grindr and Scruff.
  • Finishiitnow
    Finishiitnow Posts: 896 Member
    edited July 2021
    thereshegoesagain wrote: »
    Today I got a message from a 32 year old man who lives an hour away, saying I'm beautiful and he wants to meet me.
    I thanked him for the complimented pointed out that I'm 61 years old and not interested.
    He said that he likes older women. I told him I like older men and want someone who lives closer. Thanks, but no.
    About 2 hours later he texted me that he's in my town and where should he pick me up for dinner.
    I gave him the address of the Police department? 20 minutes later he blocked me.
    It kinda cracks me up but also makes me uneasy that he drove such a distance when his attention was unwanted.
    Do you think I should report him to Match.com?

    You should! Maybe even tell your neighbors to keep an eye on you.
    🙏Be safe friend.
  • DuathlonDon22
    DuathlonDon22 Posts: 21 Member
    I've been on Eharmony, Hinge, FitnessSingles with no luck....hopefully now that things are starting to open up something will materialize.
  • NVintage
    NVintage Posts: 1,463 Member
    edited July 2021
    I haven't tried the online dating yet. I think that whole system makes it too easy for men, nowadays!:)
    mholl15 wrote: »
    they definitely work but keep in mind that you will only find the online daters online. The girl/ guy of your dreams may be sitting alone inside Starbucks so don't be afraid to log off, get outside and speak to some attactive looking strangers

  • bby_dvll
    bby_dvll Posts: 429 Member
    edited July 2021
    i have been in online relationships, all i can say is it’s hard. if you’re okay with not having that physical connection with someone then it’s fine, but being touch deprived is another story.
  • Finishiitnow
    Finishiitnow Posts: 896 Member
    mholl15 wrote: »
    they definitely work but keep in mind that you will only find the online daters online. The girl/ guy of your dreams may be sitting alone inside Starbucks so don't be afraid to log off, get outside and speak to some attactive looking strangers

    You are brave
  • Finishiitnow
    Finishiitnow Posts: 896 Member
    Better not

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