Divorced Hangout
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littlemissbgiff wrote: »Charlotte318 wrote: »littlemissbgiff wrote: »Charlotte318 wrote: »Well not divorced yet but I am afraid it is coming to that. Married 7 years together for 12. My husband does not seem to want to open up to me and when things get really bad he seems to run elsewhere. I want my family but I don't know if it's fixable as he always refuses counseling and is now shutting me out altogether. Many of you have been through terrible situations and I feel for you. I think my fear is starting over
Change is always scary and hard. But just because something is hard doesnt mean it is bad. Overcome your fear and take care of you and your family, what ever that looks like.
I know it has pretty much come to this. Just taking things one day at a time for now, mostly because I have three girls who are pretty close to their father, something I would never take away.
I have 3 kiddos too. They idolize their father but even they tell me they are glad we divorced. Kids would rather be from a broken home than in one.
I had to go through here and check out your story. Good for you! You truly started from scratch.0 -
Best of luck to you!Ipedalforpleasure wrote: »Was married 29 years, been divorced for 4...ready to step out and see what life has to offer again.
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Sounds a lot like my story only he hasn't walked out just yet.amcalmond768 wrote: »Been married 7 years ... It's been spiraling out of control for a while but the last couple of months have been bad. Last week I found out he has been lying to me about some serious issues. He Walked out on me 2 weeks ago.
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Married since 1997 to brianbgboy...
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Married since 1997 to brianbgboy... -1
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I was divorced once. We married for all the wrong reasons.
I then met and married the love of my life, the best human being I’ve ever known, my soulmate.
I lost him to ALS last year. ❤️ 💕 💗
ETA I fell for a revived zombie thread again. 😫4 -
2nd Divorce just last week.
1st divorce- she left me for her now husband.
2nd divorce- I thought I knew her but later found out how wrong I truly was. Learned a lot from both and I can honestly say that I am better for it no matter how bad was.3 -
I've been divorced less than a year after 19 years with my ex. He's been disconnected from.our relationship for at least 5 years.
I'm SO much happier on my own and am mostly enjoying dating again at the age of 61.2 -
Divorced 3 years now and last month the ex moved back in because she cant afford a place, to stay after she broke up with her new boyfriend she left me for. And it super awkward. But now I can see my kids more.
And she constantly tells me she doesn't feel the same way about me anymore4 -
Been divorced for 2,5 years. Abusive marriage that nearly ended in "til death do us part". I worry about his girlfriend, but she doesn't seem the type to bend over backwards for someone like I did. Maybe she'll be okay. I still haven't gone on a proper date. It is difficult to find people who will actually get to know me. Or maybe I really am that undateable7
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Mqarried for 12 and no kids and bored silly. No passion anymore ,..time for change?
Yup.
How do I end this?
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robbell678 wrote: »Mqarried for 12 and no kids and bored silly. No passion anymore ,..time for change?
Yup.
How do I end this?
Yeah. It definitely sounds like your wife needs more than you can give her5 -
robbell678 wrote: »Mqarried for 12 and no kids and bored silly. No passion anymore ,..time for change?
Yup.
How do I end this?
Tell your spouse. Treat them with the amount of respect, care and compassion you would want to be treated with (or more). Dont be surprised if they are thinking the same thing about the relationship.1 -
Some random thoughts from a man who was married for roughly 15 years. I've been divorced for 2 years, separated for 5.
-If its not working and you want it to, dedicate yourself and do what you can within your control. If they have no
interest it becomes a loss/gain game.
-If its not working and you don't want to save it, leave. Its that simple.
-There is no best time to take action. If not now, when?
-If you are going to divorce, try and do mediation. In mediation you will iron out all details in a neutral setting.
After mediation you can go to the court and file for divorce with all the particulars ironed out.
-You are not responsible for someone else's feelings. Will they be sad, angry, hurt because you want a divorce? Yes. But that's not in your control. You deserve to be happy. Staying stagnant and in misery because you don't want to hurt someone else's feelings is no way to live.
-Afraid to leave because of the kids? I get that. Kids are way stronger and more resilient than you think that they
are. They are also stronger. Will there be difficult questions and confusion? Probably. But you signed up for that as
a parent regardless of your marital situation.
-You can love someone with all your heart and not want to be married to them. Its a thing. You are adults and its
OK. Sometimes pieces just don't fit.
-Ask yourself "Do I respect my partner?" If the answer is "no" you should go.
-Admit when you are wrong, say you are sorry and commit to be better. But, do not admit to things you didn't do
and stand strong in your convictions.
-Is your partner violent toward you or your children? There's the door. It shouldn't be a question. It will get worse,
trust me. Don't make the next episode be the one you can't recover from.
Maybe this will be helpful to someone. You deserve to be respected and happy in life, however that happens. And remember that sentence if your partner asks you for a divorce. There is nothing wrong with you. You just don't jive anymore. You are good looking, you are a good person.
Have a good day.6 -
Versicolour wrote: »robbell678 wrote: »Mqarried for 12 and no kids and bored silly. No passion anymore ,..time for change?
Yup.
How do I end this?
Yeah. It definitely sounds like your wife needs more than you can give her
I think I love you! ❤️💕😘
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I was married for 24 years. Been divorced for 20 years now. It was hard at the beginning, emotionally and financially. Went through two relationships, which failed. Finally figured out, Im better off by myself. My best saying "I dont have to ask to go anywhere, ask for permission to buy anything and best part...I dont have to share my desert!" Im happier now than I have been in a very long time and financially stable too :-D4
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Versicolour wrote: »robbell678 wrote: »Mqarried for 12 and no kids and bored silly. No passion anymore ,..time for change?
Yup.
How do I end this?
Yeah. It definitely sounds like your wife needs more than you can give her
I think I love you! ❤️💕😘
😂❤😘0 -
robbell678 wrote: »Mqarried for 12 and no kids and bored silly. No passion anymore ,..time for change?
Yup.
How do I end this?
When you live someone, it's better to show them than it is to tell them.
When you no longer love someone, it's better to tell them than it is to show them.1
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