Less Alcohol - NOVEMBER 2019 - One Day at a Time

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  • MissMay
    MissMay Posts: 3,547 Member
    @yamabachi holy crow! Girl that is one serious wine vault!
  • MissMay
    MissMay Posts: 3,547 Member
    @looneycatblue oh my.......sorry to hear you were injured during your fall. Yes, a turning point that can set you in a better direction. Never an easy pill to swallow knowing it got to a particular stage.
    I myself had gone through many of those. My last bad one, March 2018, I sat down and wrote a letter to myself explaining to "me" why I was worth more to the important people in my life NOT to get to that point ever again. I used to have to take the letter out frequently to reread it. Just as insurance. As time has gone on, I have not looked at it or for it to read.
    Healing vibes being sent your way.
    Hugs~
  • MissMay
    MissMay Posts: 3,547 Member
    sammidelvecchio wrote: »
    Good morning, everyone. I hope everyone did their best in sticking to whatever goals you had this weekend. I was trying to make it to Thursday with no alcohol. I did well until last night, then I had two glasses of wine. The Sunday scaries got to me.

    Still going to aim for the remainder of the week AF.

    Happy Monday :smile:

    Nice to see you checking in with us and seeing your progress. 😊
  • looneycatblue
    looneycatblue Posts: 1,304 Member
    @MissMay thank you for sharing, I entered this into my phone calendar, as a reminder. I like the idea of writing a letter, might do that too. 2 days AF, and no craving what-so-ever. I know only 2, and because the wounds are still so fresh, mentally mostly. I don't think I will forget this fall, nor do I want to. I need to find a way to make sure that as the memory starts to fade, that I do not take it as no big deal, as other events in the past became, and repeat the same stupidity. I don't want this to be a temporary feeling, I need to use this as a step up to a better way of living.

    Stay strong, do not give in when you husband asks again that you join him and his family. Sounds like you have so much to deal with. I hope that your husband understands that you do not need the problems. I wish that he would be more supportive of you. We are all here for you!
  • whitpauly
    whitpauly Posts: 1,483 Member
    @looneycatblue so sorry about your fall! Glad it wasn't more serious,I once thought it would be a fab idea to clean out the garage buzzed a few years ago and came up too fast and hit the garage door with the bridge of my nose,still have a tiny scar and dang I think I saw stars when I hit😆 6:39 am in Vegas another 24,wow Nov is nearly over,have a great day all 💗
  • NovusDies
    NovusDies Posts: 8,940 Member
    Anyone have a good strategy for determining tolerance? By the time I drink again it will be more than 200 days and 70 pounds since I last had anything. My guesses in the past have been only accurate about 2 out of 3 times and I do not like it when I get it wrong. Those days need to be behind me. Maybe my mindset is still wrong. I still want to "feel it" when I drink but I do not want to be anything close to drunk.

    This is why sometimes I wonder about giving it up completely. Even at 5 or 6 times a year if some of them end up with me having too much that is unacceptable to me now. The thing is I do enjoy having some and I don't feel that it is a problem with the moderation path I have chosen if I can limit the sessions successfully. I also promised myself I would not give up anything I could moderate while I lose weight but I wonder if that should really apply to alcohol. This promise was to break my previous habit of being too strict with myself which always caused me to fail.

    I wonder if anyone ever really fully learns themselves. I know a lot more about me than I did almost 2 years ago which has helped me immensely with improving my life but I still don't have all the answers... maybe I never will. I am kind of weird now about my long AF streak. It is 2 months longer than last year. Yeah there is a part of me that doesn't want to break it but there is another part that does just so I am not letting it dictate my actions. Weird.
  • yamabachi
    yamabachi Posts: 273 Member
    NovusDies wrote: »
    Anyone have a good strategy for determining tolerance?

    Maybe start with a blood alcohol chart like this one: https://dui.drivinglaws.org/drink-table.php

    Here's the strategy I've imposed on myself. If I am driving, I keep myself well below what the chart dictates, or most of the time, I don't drink at all. If not driving, I've decided that 3 drinks, by the standard definition of a "drink" is my limit. I use 3 because the usual definition of "binge" drinking (which is what I am trying to avoid) is 4 or more drinks within 2 hours for women. (For men, it's 5 or more drinks). It may take more or less than that for you to reach the "drunk" stage, but the chart and those numbers can help you figure out where to start and where you need to end.

    I've chosen the moderation path for myself. There is no way I could be a teetotaler because I love to cook, am a foodie, and genuinely appreciate wine for the nectar of the gods that it is. My problem has never been alcohol dependency - I'm starting to realize now that my problem is not drinking mindfully. A friend of mine, OTOH, has given up on drink altogether. He will smell our drinks as a reminder of what they taste like and maybe take a sip. He'll also eat the food I cook with booze (he loves my bourbon ice cream), but that's it. That's what's right for him.


  • dawnbgethealthy
    dawnbgethealthy Posts: 7,545 Member
    Good on you @MissMay
    I also don't need drama in my life. I definitely know people who love it, people who cause it etc. They can have it.
    I am with you, why subject ourselves to it? They can create some drama about you not showing up lol : - )
  • NovusDies
    NovusDies Posts: 8,940 Member
    yamabachi wrote: »
    NovusDies wrote: »
    Anyone have a good strategy for determining tolerance?

    Maybe start with a blood alcohol chart like this one: https://dui.drivinglaws.org/drink-table.php

    Here's the strategy I've imposed on myself. If I am driving, I keep myself well below what the chart dictates, or most of the time, I don't drink at all. If not driving, I've decided that 3 drinks, by the standard definition of a "drink" is my limit. I use 3 because the usual definition of "binge" drinking (which is what I am trying to avoid) is 4 or more drinks within 2 hours for women. (For men, it's 5 or more drinks). It may take more or less than that for you to reach the "drunk" stage, but the chart and those numbers can help you figure out where to start and where you need to end.

    I've chosen the moderation path for myself. There is no way I could be a teetotaler because I love to cook, am a foodie, and genuinely appreciate wine for the nectar of the gods that it is. My problem has never been alcohol dependency - I'm starting to realize now that my problem is not drinking mindfully. A friend of mine, OTOH, has given up on drink altogether. He will smell our drinks as a reminder of what they taste like and maybe take a sip. He'll also eat the food I cook with booze (he loves my bourbon ice cream), but that's it. That's what's right for him.


    That is helpful. Thanks.

    I generally do not drink at all when driving. I have a 1 drink limit if I am going to have anything at all.

    My problem was/is not alcohol dependency either. I have an unusually strong tendency to repeat pattern behavior. When the habit forms I find it hard to break. I was finally able to form a more acceptable pattern but I was still slipping because I also have a rebellious inner child so when I say I can't have something except on certain days I tend to want it more. It was only when I decided I could drink any night I wanted if I could justify it that I was able to finally turn the corner. After that I started a very long AF streak last year. I no longer have a pattern at all which works even better.
  • MissMay
    MissMay Posts: 3,547 Member
    NovusDies wrote: »
    Anyone have a good strategy for determining tolerance? By the time I drink again it will be more than 200 days and 70 pounds since I last had anything. My guesses in the past have been only accurate about 2 out of 3 times and I do not like it when I get it wrong. Those days need to be behind me. Maybe my mindset is still wrong. I still want to "feel it" when I drink but I do not want to be anything close to drunk.

    This is why sometimes I wonder about giving it up completely. Even at 5 or 6 times a year if some of them end up with me having too much that is unacceptable to me now. The thing is I do enjoy having some and I don't feel that it is a problem with the moderation path I have chosen if I can limit the sessions successfully. I also promised myself I would not give up anything I could moderate while I lose weight but I wonder if that should really apply to alcohol. This promise was to break my previous habit of being too strict with myself which always caused me to fail.

    I wonder if anyone ever really fully learns themselves. I know a lot more about me than I did almost 2 years ago which has helped me immensely with improving my life but I still don't have all the answers... maybe I never will. I am kind of weird now about my long AF streak. It is 2 months longer than last year. Yeah there is a part of me that doesn't want to break it but there is another part that does just so I am not letting it dictate my actions. Weird.
    Congratulations on your weight loss (70 pounds WOW) and your 200th day of AF. I am not sure about trying to determine your tolerence. But setting a limit at probably one drink when you do would be a grand start. I am sure even at "one" you will feel the IT if you have been alcohol free for that length of time.

    I can understand the inner child and want to continue with a streak or good patteren. It was explained to me that I quietly take control of something no one else can control or manipulate, especially for people that may have or had others in thier lives that control(ed) everything. When I began losing weight as an obese teen I kept wanting to take the weight loss to another 5 pounds each time I got to my set goal. Then at some point I needed to realize if I kept up with that patteren I would weigh -0.

    😊
  • MissMay
    MissMay Posts: 3,547 Member
    SanDiegofitmom wrote: »
    A seriously wine overload last few months has helped me pack on a few extra unwanted pounds. Sleep hasn’t been great so I am on day six of no wine and going until Thanksgiving. I feel so much better already and have lost two pounds. I actually discovered non alcoholic beer at Trader Joe’s. I’m not really a beer drinker but shockingly I feel like it’s super good- and in a moment of weakness its been a good crutch. I took some to a family reunion and popped one open last night when cooking. It felt remarkably “adult” and only has 80 calories. Anyone know of a good NA wine? I had FRE when I was pregnant and thought it was awful.

    Welcome back my friend. Nice to see you again.
    I am not a wine drinker at all so I would not know were to start. Sure someone else on here might have a recommendation for you.
    😉
  • dawnbgethealthy
    dawnbgethealthy Posts: 7,545 Member
    edited November 2019
    My goal is 16-20 AF days for the month.
    I didn't get there in October, ended up with 10 or 11AF days. Daily drinking is so very easy to slip back into!

    November 15 - AF
    November 16 - A bunch of red wine (not my drink of choice) at a girlfriend's who invited me for Lasagna. Although I had one glass or two glasses each night in Dallas, it made me feel lovely. Did not feel lovely, thought that I was going to puke, did not feel well in the morning.
    November 17 - AF
    November 18 - AF
    November 19 - Tuesday, 3 drinks. I like my decision to allow myself drinks on stressful Tuesdays, I haven't always had drinks on Tuesdays since starting this, but mostly.


    Running tally 11AF days out of 19 days so far.
  • forestdweller1
    forestdweller1 Posts: 356 Member
    @SanDiegofitmom IMHO there IS NO "good" AF wine. Tried FRE and several others on the "best" list. They all mostly taste like *kitten*.
    Gimme the real stuff in very very tiny glasses. Soon, I hope. Thanksgiving will [if I summon the nerve] be the test of moderation.

    Still limping along very successfully on MY crutch...AF beer. Never was a beer drinker until I decided to go AF for a while. Amber O'Doul's is pretty good, but AF Coors has fewer calories if weight watching is a thing. And weight watching is ALWAYS a thing in my house.

    I love to cook and match appropriate wines with my meals. This I miss, but the wine leads to after dinner munchies...and more wine...and more munchies. Somebody needs to control this.

    Uh, that's MY job ????





  • SanDiegofitmom
    SanDiegofitmom Posts: 303 Member
    @forestdweller1 yup. Same for me w NA beer. Though I got a dry hopped German beer from Trader Joe’s that is surprisingly good. I have been having one when I cook dinner which is my go to wine habit time. So far it’s worked out well. I haven’t found it that difficult to not drink but I think my worry is that I really don’t have a great track record q moderation. I turn into a daily drinker really fast. One of the ridiculous things is that I’m otherwise super healthy. Eat fresh, vegetable heavy meals, and run 25-30 miles a week. It’s just the darn wine!
  • dawnbgethealthy
    dawnbgethealthy Posts: 7,545 Member
    My goal is 16-20 AF days for the month.
    I didn't get there in October, ended up with 10 or 11AF days. Daily drinking is so very easy to slip back into!

    November 15 - AF
    November 16 - A bunch of red wine (not my drink of choice) at a girlfriend's who invited me for Lasagna. Although I had one glass or two glasses each night in Dallas, it made me feel lovely. Did not feel lovely, thought that I was going to puke, did not feel well in the morning.
    November 17 - AF
    November 18 - AF
    November 19 - Tuesday, 3 drinks. I like my decision to allow myself drinks on stressful Tuesdays, I haven't always had drinks on Tuesdays since starting this, but mostly.
    November 20 - AF - getting towards that 16-20 AF days : - )


    Running tally 12AF days out of 20 days so far.

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