Opinions Please?
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LovingMe19
Posts: 380 Member
in Chit-Chat
Ok, not gonna lie, i'm a little nervous about posting in the forum, so please be nice!
Anyways, I wanted to get opinions on something that has been bothering me for a bit.
I have this friend, who is exactly a year younger than me (making her 20), and she has 3 small children who are currently in the care of her boyfriend's mother, court ordered, due to a drunken fight between her and the boyfriend which resulted in both being arrested. After she was released from jail, they lost their apartment and moved into her grandmothers house who then later kicked her out. She's been living in a homeless shelter for a few weeks now, and has been told by the judge that she can have her kids back, as soon as she gets a place to live and has a stable job. She got a job at our local Walmart, and should be getting a place next month. BUT, I don't believe she should have custody of her children. She has recently been posting on Facebook, that she needs to get a "detox" quick, for a UA at her job because she has been using cocaine. And the latest has been posts of her being pregnant with baby number 4. I've known this girl for quite some time, we both had our oldest chilren only months apart. But she has never been a "mother." When her first was born (might I add she doesn't know who this one's father is, and used during the pregnancy.), she was being raised by the grandma while she was out partying, getting drunk, and using. After seeing all this, I distanced myself from her, only offering my help when she asked. After having 2 more children, all I see on Facebook is her complaints of how depressed she is with her life and how her children are such "brats" or are driving her crazy, that she's going to beat some girls *kitten* who was talking to her boyfriend late at night, and the list just goes on. She relys on the government for everything (which isn't bad for people who really need it, but you shouldn't be having more children if you have to rely on the government to raise them.) At this point i'm ready to put our friendship aside, and get in touch with social services. I'm worried about the quality of life these children are going to have and the type of things they could potentially be exposed to.
What would you do?
Anyways, I wanted to get opinions on something that has been bothering me for a bit.
I have this friend, who is exactly a year younger than me (making her 20), and she has 3 small children who are currently in the care of her boyfriend's mother, court ordered, due to a drunken fight between her and the boyfriend which resulted in both being arrested. After she was released from jail, they lost their apartment and moved into her grandmothers house who then later kicked her out. She's been living in a homeless shelter for a few weeks now, and has been told by the judge that she can have her kids back, as soon as she gets a place to live and has a stable job. She got a job at our local Walmart, and should be getting a place next month. BUT, I don't believe she should have custody of her children. She has recently been posting on Facebook, that she needs to get a "detox" quick, for a UA at her job because she has been using cocaine. And the latest has been posts of her being pregnant with baby number 4. I've known this girl for quite some time, we both had our oldest chilren only months apart. But she has never been a "mother." When her first was born (might I add she doesn't know who this one's father is, and used during the pregnancy.), she was being raised by the grandma while she was out partying, getting drunk, and using. After seeing all this, I distanced myself from her, only offering my help when she asked. After having 2 more children, all I see on Facebook is her complaints of how depressed she is with her life and how her children are such "brats" or are driving her crazy, that she's going to beat some girls *kitten* who was talking to her boyfriend late at night, and the list just goes on. She relys on the government for everything (which isn't bad for people who really need it, but you shouldn't be having more children if you have to rely on the government to raise them.) At this point i'm ready to put our friendship aside, and get in touch with social services. I'm worried about the quality of life these children are going to have and the type of things they could potentially be exposed to.
What would you do?
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Replies
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There's a delete button on Facebook, no?0
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There's a delete button on Facebook, no?
She's been deleted, but i'm not ok with knowing all this information and letting someone potentially ruin innocent childrens lives.0 -
My friend has four nephews from a similar situation and they got messed up pretty bad. This chick should probably have her parental rights terminated so the kids can get adopted.0
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Kids first, friendship second. Is it really a friendship anyway if you only connect when SHE needs something? I am an early childhood special education teacher (not working this year) and trust me, these kids need you to intervien. NOW. Good luck.0
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I am a foster mother for NJ, my oldest son we adopted from foster care when he was 15...
go with your gut insitinct and protect those babies!
call social services and tell them what you see and hear...you don't have to give them your name if you don't want0 -
What would you do?
I would do exactly as you're thinking of doing, lodge a formal complaint for an inquiry with CPS and cut all ties. Keep people like that away from you! Good luck.0 -
I would print out screen shots of her posts on fb and bring them to the judge shes working with. Seriously.0
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I don't know what I would do, but I do know what I WOULDN'T do, and that is ask for opinions on here.
After reading some of the recent red hot debates, I'm beginning to think stupidity is running rampant.0 -
Jesus...it's people like that who need to be sterilized. I wouldn't even want to admit i know this person. I would just keep your distance and cut off all communication. I tried to deal with Childrens Services to get my ex sister in law taken out of the home (my ex mother in law) and it was just frustrating and caused too much heart ache. Children's Services (or whatever they call it where you're from) already knows of the situation and i highly doubt she will get her kids back.0
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I agree with you she has no business being in custody of those children. I would make a cop of the FB posts and send them to the court that is in charge of the custody issue. You are not doing this to be mean you are doing it to protect the children. She in the past as well as now has not shown that she has the matuity to handle being a parent. I would not feel guilty at all in turning her in. The children deserve to have a mother that cares for them the way they should be. Please send in the FB copies to the right authorities, these childrens lives may be at risk!0
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I would gather whatever information I could & give it to the proper people to keep the children from being harmed. It may not change the outcome, but at least you know you did whatever you could to help the children.0
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I'd call social services in a heartbeat. You don't even need to give your name, just say that you have seen some comments posted on Facebook that have you concerned for her children's' welfare. It's up to them to investigate, you have at that point done your part.0
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I would start by no longer calling her a friend. Drop an anonymous note to the authorities and pray for the best.0
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If you feel she is doing drugs and will continue with that behavior then by all means contact social services and voice your concerns. They will investigate but no guarantee that anything will be done, most of the time the system wants the children to be with there mother, it is what it is.0
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I'd call social services in a heartbeat.
^^^^^0 -
report both her and the boyfriend to CPS0
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You can't save the world.
If everything you say is true, this woman should not be a parent, and these children are likely destined for ****ty lives.
If you can report them to CPS anonymously, do that. But even this is not likely to do much for those kids.0 -
Report her, print out those FB remarks she is making, and give them to the local child protective services agency. You're doing this for her kids, and not her. Those poor kids are going through hell right now and will suffer even more if this woman gets them back. You can report anonymously.0
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REPORT this loser.............
she does not deserve to have children.
Do whatever it takes to LET THIS BE KNOWN. Report her to her employer, the courts, your social services dept, whoever!
You don't need friends like this in your life. You DO need to rest with a conscience that is clear that you did the right things for these poor, innocent children.
Personally, I'd slap the shiite out of her.0 -
This. If it were just your personal issue with her, it would be one thing. Kids don't deserve to grow up with someone whose life will put them in a position of being neglected, hurt or killed. All bets are off when the parent is an addict.I would do exactly as you're thinking of doing, lodge a formal complaint for an inquiry with CPS and cut all ties. Keep people like that away from you! Good luck.0
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