We broke up because...
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He was always in a tux, even when sitting at home and watching cartoons0
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He never wanted to dress up and go out on the town, even when we could when no social distancing was heard of (wait, when was that time...I've forgotten when it was).0
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His memory sucked, he kept calling me Mary
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I thought she really was Mary.... that explains it.0
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He played with his golf balls more than me0
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She traded me in for a younger model....0
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So old his radiator leaked and his exhaust constantly backfired 🤭
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She neglected me. 😢0
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She.. She, oh it's too horrible to put into words
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Every time I asked " How does this outfit look on me?" she became speechless! 🥴0
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She kept telling me I wasn’t fabulous ☹️0
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She wouldn’t believe how fabulous she is1
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Dude kept leaving the seat up.. 😂😂0
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He was waaaay more Fabulous than me! 👑
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I wasn't fabulous enough for her0
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I never could convince him that he was fabulous enough1
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He had this problem with nudity, how could I be comfortable around my own house?0
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he didn't let me wear crocs0
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I prefer my men in heels and he wouldn’t comply.1
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I wanted to wear her heels and she wouldn’t let me0
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His heels were too high and pointed and hurt when he walked on me0
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I'm more of a *don't* tread on me type of guy. We would have never worked.0
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He would not shave his beard0
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He wore his golf shoes to bed0
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He showered with his skibbies on 🤔0
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She wouldn't explain what skibbies were0
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He's married to his Mustache.0
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Joey kept wandering away!0
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