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We broke up because...

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Replies

  • lx1x
    lx1x Posts: 38,332 Member
    Wanted double quarter pounder.. but only thing she gave me was happy meal size burger.
  • FabulousFantasticFifty
    FabulousFantasticFifty Posts: 195,832 Member
    Always flipping the bird ...
    I was appalled! ๐Ÿ˜ฎ
  • Tiffanylynn1024
    Tiffanylynn1024 Posts: 167 Member
    She wasnโ€™t happy with the thought that I thought counted..but she wanted more
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,456 Member
    Idk why.. He took our furniture and just disappeared. Left a note on the door "gone to find a bag of rice" he never returned.
  • FabulousFantasticFifty
    FabulousFantasticFifty Posts: 195,832 Member
    She'd never let me buy rice
  • lx1x
    lx1x Posts: 38,332 Member
    Was giving her thumbs up.. but thinking I'm flipping the middle finger.
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,456 Member
    He found a replacement at the Doll factory :D
  • FabulousFantasticFifty
    FabulousFantasticFifty Posts: 195,832 Member
    Always talked about her ex who had Agalmatophilia
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,456 Member

    FabulousFantasticFifty wrote: ยป
    Always talked about her ex who had Agalmatophilia

    :D

    She wouldn't move for love :/
  • Callousedthoughts
    Callousedthoughts Posts: 2,090 Member
    Kept moving for love. Thats what she called it when I caught her with Doug, the ice cream man. Tried to buy me off with a fudge pop.
  • FabulousFantasticFifty
    FabulousFantasticFifty Posts: 195,832 Member
    Was always talking in his/her sleep and screaming out something about Doug getting all the fudgesicles and soda pop! I was getting chubby just thinking about these things! ๐Ÿ˜ฉ
  • PaperDoll_
    PaperDoll_ Posts: 32,857 Member
    She was too high maintenance. She never could just say "soda" or "pop." Everything had to be fancy with her.
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,456 Member
    Her dutch ovens were lethal.. I died ๐Ÿ˜ต
  • PaperDoll_
    PaperDoll_ Posts: 32,857 Member
    She died and necrophilia wasn't my thing.
  • Callousedthoughts
    Callousedthoughts Posts: 2,090 Member
    She cheated on me...with dead people
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,456 Member
    I died but we stayed together as it turns out necrophilia was her thing :D
  • Neil7905
    Neil7905 Posts: 277 Member
    She was my best friends brothers room mate - Incest wasn't sexy to her ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜ˆ
  • PaperDoll_
    PaperDoll_ Posts: 32,857 Member
    He wasn't related to me.
  • Callousedthoughts
    Callousedthoughts Posts: 2,090 Member
    edited May 2020
    She wasnt fellated to me
  • PaperDoll_
    PaperDoll_ Posts: 32,857 Member
    He incriminated me.
  • FabulousFantasticFifty
    FabulousFantasticFifty Posts: 195,832 Member
    I found out that she just needed someone to pay for her Attorney. ๐Ÿ˜ง
  • Cat0703a
    Cat0703a Posts: 17,577 Member
    She was stingy with her cash and refused to be my sugar mama.
  • lx1x
    lx1x Posts: 38,332 Member
    She wanted sugar daddy.. but I'm just a peasant...
  • Cat0703a
    Cat0703a Posts: 17,577 Member
    He was more a flour and yeast daddy. He wanted me to bake him bread. Iโ€™m low carb. ๐Ÿ˜
  • lx1x
    lx1x Posts: 38,332 Member
    Always wanted protein .. demands fillet and lobster all the time.. hense I'm just eating bread.. ,๐Ÿ˜–
  • Cat0703a
    Cat0703a Posts: 17,577 Member
    He never took me on his boat to fish or crab. Too squeamish. Preferred sailing off into the sunset instead.
  • WoodAndCastIron
    WoodAndCastIron Posts: 978 Member
    She found someone with a bigger boat.
  • happimess01
    happimess01 Posts: 9,073 Member
    kept saying how It's not the size of the boat, it's the motion of the ocean.
  • PaperDoll_
    PaperDoll_ Posts: 32,857 Member
    His boat had a leak.
  • lx1x
    lx1x Posts: 38,332 Member
    She drilled the holes on the boat

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