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We Broke Up Because....... part 2 .....

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Replies

  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,456 Member
    She dropped a tree on me :(
  • FabulousFantasticFifty
    FabulousFantasticFifty Posts: 195,832 Member
    She didn't like me talking about my family tree.
  • Callousedthoughts
    Callousedthoughts Posts: 2,090 Member
    Her family tree had notations beside each. Most said "brother/cousin" or "Father/Uncle". The branches were so tangled I couldnt understand it.
  • FabulousFantasticFifty
    FabulousFantasticFifty Posts: 195,832 Member
    Was an only child...... very spoiled, didn't want to share me with my huge family.
  • Callousedthoughts
    Callousedthoughts Posts: 2,090 Member
    Kept telling me I tasted..."off".
  • FabulousFantasticFifty
    FabulousFantasticFifty Posts: 195,832 Member
    Needed to lay off the garlic & onions once in awhile 😖🥴
  • PaperDoll_
    PaperDoll_ Posts: 32,857 Member
    He tasted a bit like sour milk mixed with ketchup. It was gross.
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,456 Member
    Her family is wayyyyyy too close :#:D
  • PaperDoll_
    PaperDoll_ Posts: 32,857 Member
    Her and I were wayyyyy too close. I needed space.
  • KittyPryde2
    KittyPryde2 Posts: 38 Member
    He wouldn't read Harry Potter because it was "for babies" but Twilight was his favorite books.
  • Callousedthoughts
    Callousedthoughts Posts: 2,090 Member
    Wouldnt watch the porn Harry Pucker and the Sorcerors Bone with me
  • Masyn88
    Masyn88 Posts: 1,650 Member
    Played senantucal games regarding the superiority of the above mentioned film, and "Phil shows off his bone"
  • Callousedthoughts
    Callousedthoughts Posts: 2,090 Member
    I had to stop and open my thesaurus when she talked dirty to me
  • Cat0703a
    Cat0703a Posts: 17,577 Member
    He was always consulting reference materials during sexy time.
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,456 Member
    We did? :(
  • Callousedthoughts
    Callousedthoughts Posts: 2,090 Member
    The positions she wanted was like trying to figure out an ikea instruction manual
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,456 Member
    He broke his pelvis during sexy time.. sheesh, no stamina
  • Cat0703a
    Cat0703a Posts: 17,577 Member
    He always held the manual the wrong direction and put screws where they didn’t belong!! 😳
  • Callousedthoughts
    Callousedthoughts Posts: 2,090 Member
    She didnt like being upside down, suspended by ropes
  • Masyn88
    Masyn88 Posts: 1,650 Member
    Masyn88 wrote: »
    Played senantucal games regarding the superiority of the above mentioned film, and "Phil shows off his bone"

    *semantically- how embarrassing

    His ropes were too rough - are you TRYING to dock a ship?
  • Callousedthoughts
    Callousedthoughts Posts: 2,090 Member
    Kept blowing an airhorn, trying to guide me to the correct spot
  • Cat0703a
    Cat0703a Posts: 17,577 Member
    Didn’t know how to dock his ship. 😐
  • Callousedthoughts
    Callousedthoughts Posts: 2,090 Member
    Complained that I was trying to enter the back port
  • Masyn88
    Masyn88 Posts: 1,650 Member
    Only drank Porte
    Too stuffy for me
  • Callousedthoughts
    Callousedthoughts Posts: 2,090 Member
    Introduced me as her "consort"
  • Masyn88
    Masyn88 Posts: 1,650 Member
    Only ever went down on his knee.. and sometimes my hand
  • Callousedthoughts
    Callousedthoughts Posts: 2,090 Member
    Never went down
  • Masyn88
    Masyn88 Posts: 1,650 Member
    Couldn't understand that if you go "down" fast enough you'd never reach your destination, in accordance with the principals of the Laws of Relativity
  • Callousedthoughts
    Callousedthoughts Posts: 2,090 Member
    Called me Albert during sex, one too many times
  • Masyn88
    Masyn88 Posts: 1,650 Member
    Could never commit to being a prince...
    Eh, Albert?

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