WTF?!?! Personal question - opinions welcome!

OK, I peeked at your profile and see you are 30. It's a might early, but you may be hitting your sexual peek. Not sure how old your husband is, but if he's the same or older he may be hitting the tie where his testosterone is plummeting. if he's not regularly exercising this could add to it as well. I have three pieces of advice for YOU. First, don't ask for it TAKE IT. Most men like that! Second, if you don't already have one buy yourself a little friendly rabbit. I know, it's not the same, but it can help. And last, sit him down and talk to him and let him know how you feel. Tell him what you want and ask him how you two can meet in the middle to satisfy you both.

Good Luck!

How long does he spend in the shower?

Since you've already spoken to him about it a lot, next time he has a doctor appointment, email the doctor ahead of time stating your concern. Maybe that will prompt the doctor to bring it up or do something, rather than your husband bailing out of bringing it up. After all, if he doesn't really see (feel) the problem, then he probably wouldn't be motivated to do anything about it.

Maybe he is honestly stressed or worn out. Maybe you could plan for a Saturday (or day he hasn't worked as much, not sure of his schedule), and give him a backrub, and help him relax and get in the mood.

Most people think the fellas are "always ready" if you will, but their "mood" can also be affected by work, stress, etc.

More tips:
Send him sexy texts, or leave a hinting note in his jacket pocket (or somewhere h'll find it)... anticipation leads to desire...
Do the work

Also (not meant as offensive) he may need help refueling his desire/attraction to you. If you don't feel sexy, it's hard for him to see you that way. Put on something sexy, dim the lights, put on some sexy time music... and Work-it. OR, the pposite, maybe he doesn't feel good about himself. So stroke his ego a bit... compliment him, I mean..

He looks at porn, and I'm fine with that, as long as he's not replacing me with it. I love me some porn, and watch it with him, on occassion.

That's a good start. I agree with many other posters that maybe it's something he should talk to his MD or a counselor about. Sex is definitely one of the most inmportant factors in a relationship. Sadly, I've known many people in the same situation and it has ruined their relationship or at least made them very miserable.

Best of luck!

I agree with some of the opinions on here, my first thoughts were low testosterone and depression. I also wonder if it has something to do with feeling pressured. Some men don't like that feeling and he may be building up resentment over it.

So, if a guy doesn't want sex it MUST be a medical issue, and the guy is deficient in some way? But if a woman doesn't want sex, the guy is forcing himself on her, is an abnormal horndog, etc? That's a little sexist.

Basically, it sucks when the partners in any marriage have different sex drives, BUT those different sex drives don't have to be caused by medical deficiencies or mind games. They could just be normal differences, like personalities, hair color, height, etc. No two people are going to be exactly the same sexually. This is why people should live together before getting married, though - to work out things like this.

Welcome to the real world. lol

This is why people should live together before getting married, though - to work out things like this.

I've lived with my boyfriend for more than six years. In the beginning, he wanted sex constantly. More than once a day. The last year or so, he barely wants it at all, and if I don't push it, it doesn't happen. Just went six weeks without because I decided to wait for him to make a move.

So ... how did living together help this particular issue? How long do you live together before you know? Apparently, longer than six years.

On the other hand, my friends who were both virgins on their wedding day are perfectly happy.

ugh! Sorry. Been there - done that. Didnt end well.

Good suggestions though... talk about it, counseling, checking testosterone levels, etc... Try mixing things up. Maybe slip into something naughty and go on with your business - loudly. Make him beg to join you! Focus on him and making him feel wanted and sexy.

I read this too quickly and thought you had suggested slipping something into his drink! ahhhh!! hah

Some men (not all!) tend to take their woman for granted when they have been together so long. I can relate. Talking is the best way to sort this out. Best of luck to you both!