Spiral advice please

Svhmaddison · October 2020

Hey I wasn’t sure whether to post this on here or the maintenance forum. I’m just wanting some advice from you all, I’m regularly reading on here and learning a lot from the insights shared.

I seem to have got into a spiral! I’ve gone from 243lb to 161lb since April just gone to October. I’m 5’6” and a 27 year old female, I’m super proud of myself from getting out of the obese BMI category to overweight. My initial goal is to get to 156lb so I’m a healthy weight, and reassess from there.

The issue... this week the scale says I’ve gained 3lb... I’ve been binge eating and eating all the wrong foods for a week. It’s been my birthday during this week, but I’ve also had some stresses I’m back to work after having maternity leave (naturally getting some mum guilt, I know I’ll feel better in time) and also a relationship breakdown with my brother (not so clear cut). I’m really annoyed with myself and a bit scared I’m going to undo all of my hard work. I’ve not binged on food for about 6 months, I don’t know why I’m finding it so hard to get back on track. I’ve tried to just eat at maintenance calories but the emotional eating has just been so hard to overcome.

Has anyone got any advice? My weight loss journey isn’t over yet, and I really can’t go back to how I was. I just need to get back into everything. Sorry for rambling.

psychod787 · October 2020

I am going to give similar advice as I gave to a young lady yesterday. Separate food from emotion. Food is not love. It is a one sided relationship. As far as getting back "on track"...... Don't talk about, DO IT! Pull yourself up and do it. You have a birthday... not week. I suggest if you have the "binge" food in the house. THROW IT OUT and then pour soap on it. That way you won't come back and get it later. Don't want to waste it. Give it to a hobo or neighbor! Realize that your body is "primed" for weight regain after a significant loss. Not saying you will regain it all, but you have to learn to put the physiological drive to regain at bay. Psychosocially, see a councilor, but learn that food is not going to make you feel better for long. I am not a huge fan of "cheat days". I think that we have to be careful about what we eat and how much of certain things, especially if they will cause cravings for days or weeks. Be prepared that the cravings might hang around a while. Just have to grin and bear it for a while. Get active! Go for a walk, lift weights, spend time with your baby and partner! Best of luck ma'am.

age_is_just_a_number · October 2020

Congratulations on losing 80 pounds!!
Congratulations on recognizing that you had a tough week!!
Congratulations on knowing you are not going to let that tough week define the rest of your journey!!

Follow the suggestions made by psychod787.

You’ve come so far, you will continue.

Svhmaddison · October 2020

Thank you both, really sound advice and straight to what I needed to hear! I’ve bagged up all the binge trigger type foods and given them to a neighbour to do whatever with. I’ve also tried to mentally draw a line under what’s happened this week, I know I feel good when I make good choices so it’s time to get back into it starting now.

Thanks again!

AnnPT77 · October 2020

I support what psychod said, too.

I'd add this: You're investing a lot of emotion and (over-)thinking in this. That's a choice. You're binge eating, and eating "wrong" foods (whatever the heck "wrong" foods are). The implication is that you don't really want to be doing those things. Make a different choice. At one level, it really is that simple.

If it seems too overwhelming, put one good practice back into your life today, and comit to add a second one tomorrow, step by step.

Thought/emotion processes are one thing, behavior is another. Start doing the behaviors you've learned and practiced, the behaviors you prefer. Put it at an automatic level, not as something you mull over. (I don't think about whether I want to brush my teeth, feel guilty if I don't brush my teeth, etc. . . . I just brush my teeth, on autopilot. Try to put your practiced habits from your period of weight loss on that basis, just things you unemotionally do because you do them.)

On the stress management front, try some other techniques: Meditate. Take a walk outdoors (bonus points if there's sunshine). Do some yoga. Get some other exercise. Listen to music you find soothing or inpiring. Ditto with respect to TV shows or movies or hobbies you find soothing or inspiring. Make a list of things you feel grateful for, and add to that list every day . . . and so forth. Substitute new stress management habits, productive ones, for the habits you don't want to consider.

You can do this. You've proven that over many months now. Do it again.

Happy belated birthday, and best wishes for an amazing, healthy year ahead!

Svhmaddison · October 2020

AnnPT77 wrote: »

I support what psychod said, too.

I'd add this: You're investing a lot of emotion and (over-)thinking in this. That's a choice. You're binge eating, and eating "wrong" foods (whatever the heck "wrong" foods are). The implication is that you don't really want to be doing those things. Make a different choice. At one level, it really is that simple.

If it seems too overwhelming, put one good practice back into your life today, and comit to add a second one tomorrow, step by step.

Thought/emotion processes are one thing, behavior is another. Start doing the behaviors you've learned and practiced, the behaviors you prefer. Put it at an automatic level, not as something you mull over. (I don't think about whether I want to brush my teeth, feel guilty if I don't brush my teeth, etc. . . . I just brush my teeth, on autopilot. Try to put your practiced habits from your period of weight loss on that basis, just things you unemotionally do because you do them.)

On the stress management front, try some other techniques: Meditate. Take a walk outdoors (bonus points if there's sunshine). Do some yoga. Get some other exercise. Listen to music you find soothing or inpiring. Ditto with respect to TV shows or movies or hobbies you find soothing or inspiring. Make a list of things you feel grateful for, and add to that list every day . . . and so forth. Substitute new stress management habits, productive ones, for the habits you don't want to consider.

You can do this. You've proven that over many months now. Do it again.

Happy belated birthday, and best wishes for an amazing, healthy year ahead!

Thank you, and thanks for such a thoughtful reply- much appreciated. You and the other two posters contribute so much to this community.

You’ve hit the nail on the head with the overthinking comment. I just need to do it instead of making excuses for myself and the poor choices I made (self-sabotage really).

AnnPT77 · October 2020

Svhmaddison wrote: »

AnnPT77 wrote: »

I support what psychod said, too.

I'd add this: You're investing a lot of emotion and (over-)thinking in this. That's a choice. You're binge eating, and eating "wrong" foods (whatever the heck "wrong" foods are). The implication is that you don't really want to be doing those things. Make a different choice. At one level, it really is that simple.

If it seems too overwhelming, put one good practice back into your life today, and comit to add a second one tomorrow, step by step.

Thought/emotion processes are one thing, behavior is another. Start doing the behaviors you've learned and practiced, the behaviors you prefer. Put it at an automatic level, not as something you mull over. (I don't think about whether I want to brush my teeth, feel guilty if I don't brush my teeth, etc. . . . I just brush my teeth, on autopilot. Try to put your practiced habits from your period of weight loss on that basis, just things you unemotionally do because you do them.)

On the stress management front, try some other techniques: Meditate. Take a walk outdoors (bonus points if there's sunshine). Do some yoga. Get some other exercise. Listen to music you find soothing or inpiring. Ditto with respect to TV shows or movies or hobbies you find soothing or inspiring. Make a list of things you feel grateful for, and add to that list every day . . . and so forth. Substitute new stress management habits, productive ones, for the habits you don't want to consider.

You can do this. You've proven that over many months now. Do it again.

Happy belated birthday, and best wishes for an amazing, healthy year ahead!

Thank you, and thanks for such a thoughtful reply- much appreciated. You and the other two posters contribute so much to this community.

You’ve hit the nail on the head with the overthinking comment. I just need to do it instead of making excuses for myself and the poor choices I made (self-sabotage really).

Thank you for the kind remarks! 🙂

Sounds like you have good insight, moving forward.

Keep in mind that, alongside, you can also choose to explicitly work on developing thought patterns that better support your goals. CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) techniques are a good avenue. Consulting a professional is a good option, but there are also sensible self-help resources. I haven't used it myself, but a resource I've often seen suggested here is the book "The Beck Diet Solution".

ReenieHJ · October 2020

You got this. Truly. You've had a week with little restraint; time to get 'back to it'. It's so challenging when we feed our emotions and sometimes we can be going along strong and able then all it takes is 1 thing. Just 1. Then our resolve crumbles. And we find ourselves exactly in your situation.

Today is a new day. And a Monday at that. Mondays, to me, are a good restart point. Plan your food intake, count everything, give yourself some very positive self-talk, move a little more and get outside somewhere quiet and filled with nature. When you feel the need to eat, grab something healthy, drink lots of water, have tea/coffee, chew gum.....whatever it takes until you get over this 'low resolve' period and can feel stronger about sticking to it.

Are you bored with the previous way you were eating to lose all that weight? Maybe some new foods or recipes or change it up a bit. Good luck and find something that will help you back to where you were. A few pounds you can handle; it's not the end of the world. It's that darn spiral that you don't want to let grab you for too long.

ChickenKillerPuppy · October 2020

The reassuring thing to know is that if you get back into your habits, your body will respond. I am about 8 months into maintenance and for the longest time if I "indulged" at all I thought I was falling back into bad habits and would gain all the weight back. I have gone on two week-long vacations staying at a cabin in the woods where I basically ate and drank the whole time, but when I got back I waited a few days to weigh myself (I didn't want to see just how high the scale was immediately after), but I got back into my same habits and routines, and although I had gained, after a few weeks I was back down to my goal range.

However, those were planned and I indulged by choice, and, I was physically away from my home so it felt like vacation eating. Last week on both Sunday and Monday (which I had off of work) I just caved and had all my old comfort foods - including a giant piece of german chocolate cake (I mean GIANT), plus lots of other things. It was the first time this happened with my old comfort foods. Usually if I overindulge at home I'm still eating foods in tiny individual packaging and I really don't have junk around so there is only so much damage I can do, but this time, I went out and got the heavier foods I was craving.

I felt so bad about myself on Tuesday, but got right back on track with my habits. By the end of the week, I was back in my range. Not at the lowest, but comfortably back in my range, and that's where I am now. I really want to remember this lesson, which is that there will be times where we all indulge (whatever that means to you), and it may go on for a day, it may go on for a week, it may go on longer, but what is important is turning it around and just getting back on track, not giving up because it feels like you blew it.

The first few days back are the hardest, but if you can kind of fake it until you get the mindset back, it will happen. Don't wait for "motivation" or "inspiration" because it may not come - you just have to make the decision to do it, and then the good feelings will follow. I also second the suggestion to maybe find some new foods or recipes to excite you if possible.

Svhmaddison · October 2020

Thank you all so much, I’ve had a really good day today with food choices and moving more. I’m feeling much more optimistic and forgiving about my “week off” and just carrying on with the journey. I did a food shop earlier and I’ve brought some new meals into the mix as I was eating very samey meals before. More more geared up for autumn now with hearty soups, stews and risotto. I always feel really satiated with hearty warm meals like this.

Thanks again, you’ve all being invaluable with the support and advice.

ChickenKillerPuppy · October 2020

A few days back on track and it all feels normal again. The binge feels like a memory, not reality. It just requires patience and going through the motions until you’re just doing it all naturally again. You’ve come so far, this blip won’t stop you.

Diatonic12 · October 2020

At first glance, I thought this was asking for spiritual advice.

Psychod, you're on fire. Great answers.

Spiral advice please

Replies

Categories