When people comment on your weight loss....

For me, I would rather no comments either way about my weight loss.

I know we're not meant to approve of comments about weight, but in all honesty when people in the gym finally started commenting on my weight loss I was pleased. In every case it came from a good place and they were commenting as much on my improved gym abilities as my smaller figure. The vast majority of those who did comment had themselves come from obesity or were currently wanting to lose weight and looking for some tips from me. The best moment (for me) was when I bought some new gym kit as the old baggy stuff had got just too baggy to wear. The new kit wasn't baggy. I had a training session at the gym that morning and had got in early to go on a treadmill to warm up as usual. My trainer spent a while looking around the gym for me because he didn't recognise the back view of me on the treadmill. And when I look back at old pictures of myself...well. I don't want to go there again.

It's weird for me...even though I want people to notice my weight loss, I feel uncomfortable when they comment on it. I mean, it's nice to be recognized, but I also tend to shy away from attention.

Funny story: This isn't directly about my weight, but about a body part. So, my strength training focused more on glute training in the past 1.5 years (while still doing total body). It really has helped my back I believe, but yeah, my butt is firmer and perkier. I take adult dance classes, and my dance teacher commented in front of the class how nice my butt looked !
I definitely cringed and then made sure my butt was covered (and of course everyone laughed)...even though it was super-uncomfortable, part of me knew that if my dance teacher (who has probably seen lots of nice butts in her dance and teaching career ) thought it looked nice, all my hard work must be paying off! She did also say a few weeks earlier that I seemed a lot stronger, so it wasn't just the aesthetics part of it .

Honestly it annoys me if people comment on it unless I am close to them and we have a relationship where it's comfortable and appropriate to talk about it (anyone who knows me well enough will know I struggle with disordered eating of a few varieties). My next door neighbour said something about my weight every time I saw her for about 18 months. I started intentionally swerving her because of it.

Well it's OBVIOUS that for a lot of people, carry a lot of extra weight does make you look different. And socially to look leaner has been desired forever in most industrialized countries.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

I like comments. The funniest one is I have an older male neighbor who stopped my husband at the mailbox the other day and told him his wife was looking smoking hot! I know I looked terrible when obese - I lose all definition in my facial features - and it’s not exactly a secret that something is different when you lose 125 lbs.

However, I’m aware that this is a fraught subject. I once ran into a casual friend I hadn’t seen in about three years and complimented her on her weight loss. Turned out she had lost the will to eat when her husband died. Oops, don’t wanna go on that diet! Others have complimented people who turned out to have cancer. You just never know what is up with someone so unless you know them well enough to know how your words will be taken, best to stay quiet.

On a related subject I always wish there was a way to say to heavy people who are working out, clearly new at it, “You are crushing it, great job,” without coming off patronizing. I pass one lady running all the time, she was 300+ lbs when I started seeing her, could barely walk, and now she has lost about 100 lbs and is running. So proud of her! But I don’t want her to feel awkward if I say something. So I just smile and say hello.

I haven't seen my coworkers in person since last March because of quarantine. I've been diligently working on weight loss and fitness during that time. Although we have regular zoom meetings, I rarely turn on the video (because I'm, uh, usually multi-tasking with other things), but I have turned it on a few times when I'm presenting or when it's important to be visible. So my coworkers have only seen my head/face and shoulders only.

I will admit that it has been nice to get a separate email or text saying I look great. But I did have one coworker email and ask me if I lost weight and asked me how much weight. That part made me uncomfortable: asking for the exact amount. And that's weird to ask, isn't it?

Don't comment on someone's body unless you know for an incontrovertible fact that they are purposefully trying to change it in some way (i.e., this person has chosen to tell you that they're trying to lose/gain weight). If you merely suspect that they are doing this (like, you've seen them using an app like MFP, exercising, or if they appear visibly larger or smaller than last time you saw them) but they've never directly told you, specifically, about it, assume this is not something they want to share with you, for any number of reasons. Unless they tell you, you can't know if it's something they would appreciate commentary on, either in general or from you, specifically. And maybe you'll feel some type of way about that, if it's a person that you think "should" like/trust you enough to share this kind of thing with you, but those feelings are yours to manage.

I've lost 96 lbs in the last 14 months.
what I hate is when someone....family..... say stop losing weight, I'm worried about you.
Or, you say you are just maintaining, but it looks like you are losing more.
I have been within 3 lbs. for 3 months now. Oh, I got "you look skeletal" a couple of days ago.
I started at 244 and am now 148. I'm 5'6'. Hardly skeletal, although I look seriously different.
I must admit I do get snappy. This crap is usually what starts me gaining weight. i am determined it won't happen this time!!!

I've lost a third of my starting weight. I'm also only 5'1.5"tall so I do look very different, particularly to people who don't see me very often. I've had a lot of concerned comments about losing too much, being really skinny now etc etc but I put it down to the fact that everyone was so used to me be considerably rounder. Given how much I've lost, I'd be more peeved if no-one noticed! (I'm in the UK, and people are, perhaps, less reticent to comment)

I'm now Normal BMI and if anyone makes a comment that I think requires an answer, that's what I tell them. I was officially overweight, I had a health scare and I needed to lose weight / overhaul my diet. I'm now normal weight, my health is no longer of concern and that's how I intend to remain.

I'm fine with comments if they aren't rude, and I do my best to read their intent when deciding the rudeness. Honestly, I've accidentally insulted people by trying to compliment them, so I try to cut people slack on that when I can.

Most people don't say anything, other than occasionally a close friend will say something like "Wow your legs look so strong!" or "dude your butt disappeared" (gee thanks lol), but they know me well enough to be comfortable. Extended family, for example, tend to err on the side of caution. My SIL gently brought it up one holiday because she noticed, thought I looked much younger, but we see each other so rarely she wasn't sure what to say or if she should mention it at all.

If I get a "wow you look so different" or "man, you look good!" I just thank them and move on. They aren't trying to comment on my past appearance, and I know damn well I look better now. Why act like I don't?

I honestly don't mind if anybody asks how much I lost, because I am more than happy to brag a bit if somebody seems honestly interested.

I went to the Doctor recently and he said "you lost quite a bit of weight!" and yeah, true. That was the plan and I am not done yet.

If people say that I look good my only worry is that I know I look like a lumpy potato without clothes. Otherwise, I am pretty convinced myself I look better now than when I started this. So fair of them to notice.

It depends on who is giving the compliment and how it's said. For people who have known me for a longtime and go on and on about how drastically I have changed and how good I look now. I wonder what they were thinking and saying before. But when people just say they are happy for me and proud of how I stuck with it and have come so far, that is to me different. I also feel good about where I am at now so I am not bothered by my weight or as self conscious. Most people are sincere and I really appreciate the compliment. Because I know I have really worked hard and struggled to get where I am now. I also know I am going to have to work hard to maintain the almost 100 pound lost. So either way I just take the compliment and move on.