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When people comment on your weight loss....

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  • SouthWestLondonSouthWestLondon Member, Premium Posts: 80 Member Member, Premium Posts: 80 Member
    I find it so weird to hear about people who ask things like 'how much have you lost' etc. That's just such weird behaviour except maybe from close family or very close friends. When I lost 115lbs in 2015, I think my mother was the only one to ask specifically how much I'd lost (in a supportive way).

    In terms of compliments, again, I've never had explicit 'you have lost so much weight' compliments (apart from one or two aunts). But I did have lots of 'You're looking great' compliments.

    'You're looking well' is a good one, I think. The unspoken bit is 'you've lost weight', but of course there's lots of reasons I might be looking well - better haircut, better clothes, better skin - in addition to lost weight.
  • Strudders67Strudders67 Member Posts: 850 Member Member Posts: 850 Member
    mpkpbk2015 wrote: »
    It depends on who is giving the compliment and how it's said. For people who have known me for a longtime and go on and on about how drastically I have changed and how good I look now. I wonder what they were thinking and saying before. But when people just say they are happy for me and proud of how I stuck with it and have come so far, that is to me different. I also feel good about where I am at now so I am not bothered by my weight or as self conscious. Most people are sincere and I really appreciate the compliment. Because I know I have really worked hard and struggled to get where I am now. I also know I am going to have to work hard to maintain the almost 100 pound lost. So either way I just take the compliment and move on.

    You could also look at the comments about how drastically you've changed as being a sincere compliment. Perhaps, in their way, the person making such a comment is acknowledging that you must have worked really hard to achieve such a drastic change and want to ensure you know that you look really good. They didn't necessarily think anything negative about you previously. Some people need that validation that they have achieved something impressive, some of us are just happy knowing it ourselves. I take any compliments going.
  • wunderkindkingwunderkindking Member Posts: 123 Member Member Posts: 123 Member
    Don't comment on someone's body unless you know for an incontrovertible fact that they are purposefully trying to change it in some way (i.e., this person has chosen to tell you that they're trying to lose/gain weight). If you merely suspect that they are doing this (like, you've seen them using an app like MFP, exercising, or if they appear visibly larger or smaller than last time you saw them) but they've never directly told you, specifically, about it, assume this is not something they want to share with you, for any number of reasons. Unless they tell you, you can't know if it's something they would appreciate commentary on, either in general or from you, specifically. And maybe you'll feel some type of way about that, if it's a person that you think "should" like/trust you enough to share this kind of thing with you, but those feelings are yours to manage.

    This.

    Because commenting without KNOWING is how you compliment someone on losing weight - because they have cancer, or are deep in grief, or something else deeply personal and unwanted.

    Weight loss/weight gain can happen/be motivated by a lot of reasons. Some of them are deeply personal, even if deliberate, and have nothing to do with aesthetics.

    Compliment their shirt.
  • gionrogadogionrogado Member Posts: 12 Member Member Posts: 12 Member
    my male and female friends have different reactions to my weight loss. the ladies comment somewhere along the lines "lookin' good, congrats. been working out?" while my guy friends say something like "you're too thin, eat more"

    i find it amusing and i dont mind at all
  • ginamyrmelginamyrmel Member, Premium Posts: 9 Member Member, Premium Posts: 9 Member
    When someone compliments me on my weight loss and then says "Keep it up" or something similar, what I hear is "You're not even close to where you should be." My sister who weighs 110 soaking wet, can compliment me all she wants and I know her heart is in the right place. I know she just wants me healthy and happy. It's very personal to me and I know I'm ultra-sensitive about comments about my weight.
  • jefffuglerjefffugler Member, Premium Posts: 2 Member Member, Premium Posts: 2 Member
    No problems for me, after all they are just confirming what I say to myself. I know I didn't look or feel good so they are just reinforcing that it needed to happen. When I look in the mirror I think great start but a ways to go, so them saying keep going doesn't bother me in the slightest. It motivates me. I'd much rather people say looking much better, keep it up than hearing my friends and family tell me I must lose weight for my own good.
  • FivefootninebaddieFivefootninebaddie Member Posts: 5 Member Member Posts: 5 Member
    I’m pretty young so I think people shy away on commenting on my body but I just get a lot of looks. Like if I haven’t seen someone for awhile I can see them STARING at my body because the last time they saw me I was a size 12 and now I’m a 0/2. The other day I went to friends house and her mom went slack jawed lmao
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