So I’m a Jerk
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The only time to correct a persons grammar is when you are their teacher, parenting a young child.. or there is an agreement to do so between friends. Otherwise.. it makes the person feel stupid and small.13
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elisa123gal wrote: »The only time to correct a persons grammar is when you are their teacher, parenting a young child.. or there is an agreement to do so between friends. Otherwise.. it makes the person feel stupid and small.
To correct a person's grammar, if I'm the person and you're correcting me because I said or wrote something incorrectly, I'm grateful!!! Sincerely, honestly, truly appreciative...I would rather have someone tell me so I can correct it, if possible.12 -
elisa123gal wrote: »The only time to correct a persons grammar is when you are their teacher, parenting a young child.. or there is an agreement to do so between friends. Otherwise.. it makes the person feel stupid and small.
I'm a voracious reader and have an extensive vocabulary. But, I haven't always heard the words spoken. If I mispronounce and someone corrects me, I'm grateful.7 -
kshama2001 wrote: »🤦🏼♀️ MFP told me so, those exact words. It was regarding a comment that I genuinely meant no harm or disrespect, like a scenario where you mispronounce something wrong your whole life and someone finally tells you the correct way. I wouldn’t consider that person a jerk for informing me. I even stated that I hope it helped. I felt pretty bad that MFP would make issue of it (no one else did) and then I felt, unsettled, like wow, I have contributed for 6 years, and in 400ish posts I have received roughly 2000 positive responses. I don’t really think I’m a jerk, do you? Makes you not want to contribute anymore, ya know? I love this community. I think the dialogue is fun, fascinating, and it’s even cool to debate from time to time. I hope I haven’t hurt any of you on a personal level, and if so I want to sincerely apologize. I’m gonna crawl in a hole now 😐.
I'm sure the mod who spanked you was quoting from the Community Guidelines and didn't have any choice in their language. But I get your point.
Also, the guidelines say "attacks against the member’s spelling or command of written English" and I do believe you were coming from a place of CARING, not belittling.
https://www.myfitnesspal.com/community-guidelines
1. Play Nice
I WILL:
I will be respectful and understand that everyone is different. Some members are new to this, so be kind to the newbies.
I will remember the human on the other side of the screen.
I will share my opinions while respecting others' thoughts and feelings as well.
I will be ready to hear and accept other opinions that I might not always agree with.
I will ignore users.
I WON'T:
I won’t be a jerk.
I won't attack, mock, or otherwise insult others. I can respectfully disagree with the message or topic, but I cannot attack the messenger. This includes attacks against the member’s spelling or command of written English, belittling a member for posting a duplicate discussion, or attacking a member for posting in an older discussion. (ie. It’s lose not loose, strong first post, didn’t you already post this today, etc.) Not every member has the same level of education, so I’ll refrain from criticizing a member for not framing their content in a manner befitting a university-level science paper.
I won’t pick apart how something is said; I will focus on the meaning/message.
Terms of use that call users jerks don't really help create a respectful community. "Do as I say, not as I do" is generally not a good policy.14 -
In all honesty if something some random internet person said about you on MFP is bothering you this much, maybe it is time to reasses things? It’s just a Internet forum....🤦🏼♀️ MFP told me so, those exact words. It was regarding a comment that I genuinely meant no harm or disrespect, like a scenario where you mispronounce something wrong your whole life and someone finally tells you the correct way. I wouldn’t consider that person a jerk for informing me. I even stated that I hope it helped. I felt pretty bad that MFP would make issue of it (no one else did) and then I felt, unsettled, like wow, I have contributed for 6 years, and in 400ish posts I have received roughly 2000 positive responses. I don’t really think I’m a jerk, do you? Makes you not want to contribute anymore, ya know? I love this community. I think the dialogue is fun, fascinating, and it’s even cool to debate from time to time. I hope I haven’t hurt any of you on a personal level, and if so I want to sincerely apologize. I’m gonna crawl in a hole now 😐.
Just my .002
I think what you meant is “Just my .02”
Sorry couldn’t resist...
👀 I’ll watch for my jerk mail.
Well for this threads it’s .002 but yes you are right lol
I thought it meant you were five positions ahead of James Bond in being licensed to kill.8 -
elisa123gal wrote: »The only time to correct a persons grammar is when you are their teacher, parenting a young child.. or there is an agreement to do so between friends. Otherwise.. it makes the person feel stupid and small.
To correct a person's grammar, if I'm the person and you're correcting me because I said or wrote something incorrectly, I'm grateful!!! Sincerely, honestly, truly appreciative...I would rather have someone tell me so I can correct it, if possible.
Same.
I'd also like to be told if I use the wrong words. English is not my first language and sometimes I make stupid mistakes. But nobody told me that "lose" only has one "o", because apparently helping me improve my language skills goes against the rules here. I had to figure it out myself, realise the difference between "lose" and "loose" on my own. - And then feel like a complete idiot for having used the wrong word for so long.
At least years back when I wrote "nice to meat you" in another forum people joked about it for a bit, made me laugh at my stupid little mistake, and thus helped me to avoid it after this one time.13 -
I generally like to be corrected, but feel like it's mostly graceless or snarky to correct others, unless I know them well enough to know that they'd appreciate it rather than feeling belittled. Private, rather than public, correction is a nicety, in any case.
IMO, being openly punctilious about details of others' language usage tends to be a class marker: Not upper class, but aspirational, basically lace-curtain class.9 -
I generally like to be corrected, but feel like it's mostly graceless or snarky to correct others, unless I know them well enough to know that they'd appreciate it rather than feeling belittled. Private, rather than public, correction is a nicety, in any case.
IMO, being openly punctilious about details of others' language usage tends to be a class marker: Not upper class, but aspirational, basically lace-curtain class.
Thanks for telling me I am “having social pretensions; self-consciously genteel”. I had to look up lace-curtain class if that helps. Work in progress however you want to look at it 🙋🏼♀️
ETA: completely different meaning here- characteristic of or aspiring to the standards and attributes of the middle class. This is the version I think you were referencing.4 -
I generally like to be corrected, but feel like it's mostly graceless or snarky to correct others, unless I know them well enough to know that they'd appreciate it rather than feeling belittled. Private, rather than public, correction is a nicety, in any case.
IMO, being openly punctilious about details of others' language usage tends to be a class marker: Not upper class, but aspirational, basically lace-curtain class.
Very well said...5 -
I generally like to be corrected, but feel like it's mostly graceless or snarky to correct others, unless I know them well enough to know that they'd appreciate it rather than feeling belittled. Private, rather than public, correction is a nicety, in any case.
IMO, being openly punctilious about details of others' language usage tends to be a class marker: Not upper class, but aspirational, basically lace-curtain class.
Thanks for telling me I am “having social pretensions; self-consciously genteel”. I had to look up lace-curtain class if that helps. Work in progress however you want to look at it 🙋🏼♀️
ETA: completely different meaning here- characteristic of or aspiring to the standards and attributes of the middle class. This is the version I think you were referencing.
In my case it’s not so much aspirational as that certain things like “loose” for “lose” drive me berserk. Which is on me. My mother-in-law is driven berserk by lint on carpets. It’s a similar compulsion.9 -
This horse is so beaten and dead it's impossible to tell if it's even a horse at this point, and yet I can't stop watching.
I can't decide if this thread is amusing or horrifying, but I'm leaning toward amusing.8 -
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elisa123gal wrote: »The only time to correct a persons grammar is when you are their teacher, parenting a young child.. or there is an agreement to do so between friends. Otherwise.. it makes the person feel stupid and small.
To correct a person's grammar, if I'm the person and you're correcting me because I said or wrote something incorrectly, I'm grateful!!! Sincerely, honestly, truly appreciative...I would rather have someone tell me so I can correct it, if possible.
Well thats great - but lots of people feel as post above you mentioned - small and belittled and discouraged from posting
I dont think it is ever a good idea on forums to correct the spelling, punctuation, grammar of others
If you really dont understand what was said (as oppossed to jerk-y mock not understanding to look superior about correcting - lose clothing? have you found it yet? )
just ask person to clarify without making it about their incorrect spelling or grammar. There are surely ways to do that without being correct-y.
* all of above are general comments, I did not see specific post OP was upset about.
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OP, Don't take comments like that personally. I have no clue about the posts that warranted their response but, as much as most of us love this place, it's still an online forum. We need to place our real emotions and feelings more in our real lives and not with a poster who got irked by a correction or two.
Yes, some people do not like to be corrected, even on an online forum but let it go. Just remember it's more important to be kind than right.
You know your heart.
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There have been posts on grammatical errors in the past--"lose, loose" being the worst. It used to drive me crazy, but with cell phone usage, fast typing, and then non-English users, it's just getting quaint. The only problem is when you really can't figure out what they're trying to say.
Also, now that I'm using my Italian phone to message in Italy, I know I'm making mistakes in that language. It's either that or not communicate. When I use it to message in English I have to check every word. It will autocorrect and some of the things that come out are laughable. Switching from one language to another on a cell will do that, so some of the errors coming through might be due to foreign phones. I use my laptop for MFP.4 -
callsitlikeiseeit wrote: »I'm a self-professed grammar nazi (and formerly a professional writer and editor) but on social media.... I let it go.
Truly, all you do is make yourself look like, well... Sorry.
I know you meant well... but yeah.
Grammar nazi or should it be grammar Nazi?
Discuss.
even I let it go with my own posts
LMAO
now I have that stupid song in my head.
I hate Disney. LOL2 -
In all honesty if something some random internet person said about you on MFP is bothering you this much, maybe it is time to reasses things? It’s just a Internet forum....🤦🏼♀️ MFP told me so, those exact words. It was regarding a comment that I genuinely meant no harm or disrespect, like a scenario where you mispronounce something wrong your whole life and someone finally tells you the correct way. I wouldn’t consider that person a jerk for informing me. I even stated that I hope it helped. I felt pretty bad that MFP would make issue of it (no one else did) and then I felt, unsettled, like wow, I have contributed for 6 years, and in 400ish posts I have received roughly 2000 positive responses. I don’t really think I’m a jerk, do you? Makes you not want to contribute anymore, ya know? I love this community. I think the dialogue is fun, fascinating, and it’s even cool to debate from time to time. I hope I haven’t hurt any of you on a personal level, and if so I want to sincerely apologize. I’m gonna crawl in a hole now 😐.
Just my .002
No way dude! Random internet people I’m cool with. A forum I’ve supported for 6 years calling me a jerk, that was uncalled for. That being said, I agree one shouldn’t dwell.
Meh, MFP has been worse to me. Remember jail???
Wait what?! Did you correct grammar and spelling? What is this jail you speak of?
If you got too many warnings they would put bars on your profile and restrict posting...
Do they still do that? Or are the forums more tame now?
i haven't seen or heard of anyone going to jail on here in awhile. But I also don't always pay THAT close of attention. I was tossed in there once or twice.
Not for grammar though LOL
usually for ... well, my name is my name LMAO2 -
kshama2001 wrote: »elisa123gal wrote: »The only time to correct a persons grammar is when you are their teacher, parenting a young child.. or there is an agreement to do so between friends. Otherwise.. it makes the person feel stupid and small.
I'm a voracious reader and have an extensive vocabulary. But, I haven't always heard the words spoken. If I mispronounce and someone corrects me, I'm grateful.
This!!! I grew up in a country where many people didn't speak English and/or mispronounced the words, including my parents. I was an avid reader growing up and had a large vocabulary from reading as well. Then I moved to the UK 13 years ago for uni and had many English friends. A couple years later one of my new friends corrected how I pronounced "answer". I was sounding out the "w" and I didn't even realise. My mind was blown, I even argued with him because surely someone else must have noticed and corrected me by now. I asked my best friend, born and bred in England, if this was true. She said "yeah, maybe a little bit"!!! Gah!!!! I would have much preferred if she corrected me straight away!!!6 -
kshama2001 wrote: »kshama2001 wrote: »🤦🏼♀️ MFP told me so, those exact words. It was regarding a comment that I genuinely meant no harm or disrespect, like a scenario where you mispronounce something wrong your whole life and someone finally tells you the correct way. I wouldn’t consider that person a jerk for informing me. I even stated that I hope it helped. I felt pretty bad that MFP would make issue of it (no one else did) and then I felt, unsettled, like wow, I have contributed for 6 years, and in 400ish posts I have received roughly 2000 positive responses. I don’t really think I’m a jerk, do you? Makes you not want to contribute anymore, ya know? I love this community. I think the dialogue is fun, fascinating, and it’s even cool to debate from time to time. I hope I haven’t hurt any of you on a personal level, and if so I want to sincerely apologize. I’m gonna crawl in a hole now 😐.
I'm sure the mod who spanked you was quoting from the Community Guidelines and didn't have any choice in their language. But I get your point.
Also, the guidelines say "attacks against the member’s spelling or command of written English" and I do believe you were coming from a place of CARING, not belittling.
https://www.myfitnesspal.com/community-guidelines
1. Play Nice
I WILL:
I will be respectful and understand that everyone is different. Some members are new to this, so be kind to the newbies.
I will remember the human on the other side of the screen.
I will share my opinions while respecting others' thoughts and feelings as well.
I will be ready to hear and accept other opinions that I might not always agree with.
I will ignore users.
I WON'T:
I won’t be a jerk.
I won't attack, mock, or otherwise insult others. I can respectfully disagree with the message or topic, but I cannot attack the messenger. This includes attacks against the member’s spelling or command of written English, belittling a member for posting a duplicate discussion, or attacking a member for posting in an older discussion. (ie. It’s lose not loose, strong first post, didn’t you already post this today, etc.) Not every member has the same level of education, so I’ll refrain from criticizing a member for not framing their content in a manner befitting a university-level science paper.
I won’t pick apart how something is said; I will focus on the meaning/message.
Missed opportunity I guess? Fortunately I’ve laughed it off, and feel less weird about it.
Glad to hear that! Should you start feeling weird again, I encourage you to speak to Alex directly about how receiving a message like that was not conducive to the "safe, friendly, supportive" environment she wishes to create.
Wait wait wait.
HOLD UP.
Alex is female???
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This discussion has been closed.
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