Ways We Sabotage Our Success

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  • mpkpbk2015
    mpkpbk2015 Posts: 766 Member
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    deb0rah2 wrote: »
    I seem to have no off-button when it comes to food. I rarely feel full, so I have to constantly say "don't start" or "stop." Then I get mad because I feel so caged in by rules--rules that I WANT to follow, but hate. I wish I could learn not to think about food constantly.

    I know that's that self gratification sabotage I talk about in my blog. That's why I have to constantly have to be occupied every minute of the day. Have something in my hand so I don't put food in my hand. That's actually how I started my jewelry business last year, I got so busy with it that I didn't have time for anything else. Thanks for sharing.
  • mpkpbk2015
    mpkpbk2015 Posts: 766 Member
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    Poobah1972 wrote: »
    Loosing track of the long term and putting to much importance on the short term.

    I like that, isn't that what society pushes us to do. We are always looking for the quick fix and the now vs the big picture and the long term benefits. Thanks for that great share.
  • mpkpbk2015
    mpkpbk2015 Posts: 766 Member
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    Speakeasy76 wrote: »
    The "all or none" thinking...if I'm not perfect or think I've messed up somehow, I would just throw in the towel and "start again on Monday." Then, during those days before Monday, I would pig out...because I was going to "diet" again so might us well do it now.

    Also, if the scale wasn't moving in the right direction, I'd restrict myself further, which would then lead to bingeing later. I really didn't understand normal weight fluctuations when I was younger. Conversely, I may have just given up, thinking what I was doing wasn't working. I just wasn't patient with the process.
    Speakeasy76 wrote: »
    The "all or none" thinking...if I'm not perfect or think I've messed up somehow, I would just throw in the towel and "start again on Monday." Then, during those days before Monday, I would pig out...because I was going to "diet" again so might us well do it now.

    Also, if the scale wasn't moving in the right direction, I'd restrict myself further, which would then lead to bingeing later. I really didn't understand normal weight fluctuations when I was younger. Conversely, I may have just given up, thinking what I was doing wasn't working. I just wasn't patient with the process.

    You know what that say patience is a virtue, we all need to be a little more patient with ourselves I know I need to be kinder and more patient with myself. Thanks for sharing.💖💖💖
  • mpkpbk2015
    mpkpbk2015 Posts: 766 Member
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    ClearNotCloudyMind wrote: »
    Great thread! My thoughts...

    1. Seeing a goal weight as THE all-encompassing goal. When I was focused on that, I was eating too little (impatient) and feeling like a failure when it didn't all happen at once, or if my weight didn't fall in a week.
    2. Not listening to my body re food. Eating should feel good, not bad! When I eat right then it tastes lovely, my body feels better and I look forwards to my meals. If at any point that stops, I'm not eating right and need to sort it out.
    3. Not listening to my body re exercise. Exercise should also feel good! If I'm suffering days of crippling DOMS, making excuses to avoid exercising, or finding it painful, maybe it's not as beneficial as it should be and I need to find an alternative.
    4. Forgetting to appreciate how much better life is now. Since I dropped the idea of a goal weight, it's all been about my body becoming a nicer place to live in. There are always going to be things I'm working for - maybe a new yoga pose, running faster or even hitting the next kg down on the scale. However I don't think I'm ever going to arrive at the point where I say "I'm done". So I need to enjoy NOW and keep living the life that makes tomorrow even better.
    ClearNotCloudyMind wrote: »
    Great thread! My thoughts...

    1. Seeing a goal weight as THE all-encompassing goal. When I was focused on that, I was eating too little (impatient) and feeling like a failure when it didn't all happen at once, or if my weight didn't fall in a week.
    2. Not listening to my body re food. Eating should feel good, not bad! When I eat right then it tastes lovely, my body feels better and I look forwards to my meals. If at any point that stops, I'm not eating right and need to sort it out.
    3. Not listening to my body re exercise. Exercise should also feel good! If I'm suffering days of crippling DOMS, making excuses to avoid exercising, or finding it painful, maybe it's not as beneficial as it should be and I need to find an alternative.
    4. Forgetting to appreciate how much better life is now. Since I dropped the idea of a goal weight, it's all been about my body becoming a nicer place to live in. There are always going to be things I'm working for - maybe a new yoga pose, running faster or even hitting the next kg down on the scale. However I don't think I'm ever going to arrive at the point where I say "I'm done". So I need to enjoy NOW and keep living the life that makes tomorrow even better.
    ClearNotCloudyMind wrote: »
    Great thread! My thoughts...

    1. Seeing a goal weight as THE all-encompassing goal. When I was focused on that, I was eating too little (impatient) and feeling like a failure when it didn't all happen at once, or if my weight didn't fall in a week.
    2. Not listening to my body re food. Eating should feel good, not bad! When I eat right then it tastes lovely, my body feels better and I look forwards to my meals. If at any point that stops, I'm not eating right and need to sort it out.
    3. Not listening to my body re exercise. Exercise should also feel good! If I'm suffering days of crippling DOMS, making excuses to avoid exercising, or finding it painful, maybe it's not as beneficial as it should be and I need to find an alternative.
    4. Forgetting to appreciate how much better life is now. Since I dropped the idea of a goal weight, it's all been about my body becoming a nicer place to live in. There are always going to be things I'm working for - maybe a new yoga pose, running faster or even hitting the next kg down on the scale. However I don't think I'm ever going to arrive at the point where I say "I'm done". So I need to enjoy NOW and keep living the life that makes tomorrow even better.

    Thanks for your great thoughts, appreciate your sharing - have a great week. 💖💖💖
  • mpkpbk2015
    mpkpbk2015 Posts: 766 Member
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    jrobwebb wrote: »
    As a reward to myself for careful eating and exercise throughout the day, sometimes I'll have a glass of wine...then two...then three. Now my day is shot and I feel ashamed for screwing up.

    Thanks for sharing - next time hydrate with water not wine. LOL 🍷🍷🍷
  • mpkpbk2015
    mpkpbk2015 Posts: 766 Member
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    adadoran wrote: »
    CameronWhittaker wrote: »
    I have done 5 months of really clean eating and regular exercise and my results have been amazing (50kg loss), but since hitting the 5-month park I have been struggling.

    Not fully blowing up calorie-wise and I have been logging fairly accurately. But just giving into temptation, I set myself hard rules like No chocolate, No lollies, No chippies, and No takeaways. I have been bending these rules a lot, little bits of lollies, chocolate, and chippies. and I have had takeaways a few times.

    It's stupid because the small amount of chocolate I have eaten isn't even an issue calorie-wise.. but breaking my rules feels like a huge defeat after going 5 months with none.

    Even today I kept under my calories, and most of my food was fine. But I had a bacon & egg McMuffin, I shouldn't have had that and it feels like a defeat even though iv kept it under my goal.

    I haven't fully broken and bought a block of chocolate or a bag of chips but I feel like that slide is coming.

    Cameron, your post, and some of the others, are so familiar. I just finished 5 months, and did well. But I'm still at war with myself. 92% of my being wants to stuff my face with fats, sugars and carbs. Its an addiction at least as hard to break as drugs and alcohol. One difference, however, is you can't go cold turkey with food. We have to keep eating. We just have to learn to do it intelligently. Try telling a drug addict or alcoholic to do that. "You can still have alcohol or drugs, just do it in moderation". That never works. But here we are having to try to do it with our addiction.

    I don't have any particular wisdom to share. I just want to encourage you to resist and stay as disciplined as you can. That's what I'm trying to do. I have a long way to go, and if I get there, I know it will be one of the greatest challenges of my life not to eat my way back to a horribly unhealthy weight. But I really don't have much choice now. I'm not young anymore, and I simply cannot afford another yo-yo or two. Good luck. Stay strong. And remember, while its extraordinarily difficult, its still a choice you make.

    I think what you said was very wise and inspiring. Thank you for sharing. Great Post. Have a great week. And good luck on your journey.
  • mpkpbk2015
    mpkpbk2015 Posts: 766 Member
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    am00r wrote: »
    I figured out that all of my success sabotaging issues is related to my mindset.

    All or Nothing when cheating -losing weight - Muscles..etc,
    I want it fast, and right now,
    Emotional eating, specially when in H.A.L.T state,
    Want it to be an easy ride,
    Not comfortable of being Hungry,
    Lake of Patient, Persistence, Consistency,
    yeah, almost forget, and not having a strong WHY for losing weight...

    these kind of staff...

    I think the WHY is sitting on your shoulder - you want to be around for a long time and be healthy for him/her.
    Thanks for the share and have a great week.
  • mpkpbk2015
    mpkpbk2015 Posts: 766 Member
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    judefit1 wrote: »
    Here's 10 that I know have sabotaged me since adolescence:

    1. Evening grazing
    2. Not taking time to prepare a daytime meal and "grabbing" something unhealthy
    3. Excusing the fact that it's "easy" to lose that 15lbs anytime (it isn't)
    4. Oh, today was rough- I'll start tomorrow
    5. Food as comfort when stressed or sad
    6. Food as filler when bored or tired
    7. Seeing myself as "too"- too fat, too thin, too old... I need to just "see myself" as I am.
    8. My great, self-disciplined partner, who's always been in shape, can eat what he likes-and likes food a lot!
    9. Loving to bake and to cook as relaxation
    10. A false idea of what "healthy eating" is. Remembering to make wise choices, even when rushed.

    This is a great way to remember what "counts"- I'm writing these on a piece of paper by my refrig!

    The frig is a great place to put your list it's where mine is and I have one posted on the inside of my pantry door too. Thanks for sharing and be kind to yourself and have a great day.
  • mpkpbk2015
    mpkpbk2015 Posts: 766 Member
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    Sand_TIger wrote: »
    Oh - I almost forgot this one - I've done it a lot, too!

    A person can do a lot of prep work, like research, notes, analysis, meal planning etc, and it can give a person the false sense that they did something significant to achieve their goal. It gives that satisfied feeling while being just prep work and no actual progress toward the goal. Then that can make a person slack off and not do the actual work needed because they already feel like they did something about it.

    Two quick examples I've done:

    In the past I've blogged and written a lot about a weight loss plan and it has given me such a sense of satisfaction that I've not done as much with my actual plan.

    In the past I've started out on a book idea and spent so long talking about it to people that I never wrote more than the third chapter.

    This is able to be overcome, obviously, but it's definitely a way it's possible to self sabotage. The key is to make sure plans are carried out! :)

    Very insightful and so true - it's like having a goal without a plan of action or a target date. Love it.
  • mpkpbk2015
    mpkpbk2015 Posts: 766 Member
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    eromligyppah wrote: »
    For me it's 6- fear of success that leads me to question myself, say I'm not good enough or deserve to be fit how I want to be, or people will just make fun of me anyways so why bother. Then that leads to the eating of junk and snacking when I don't need to be. Did it this weekend, I try to end the cycle but it sure is difficult. I am doing better than I use to be since I don't have 1 specific person taring me down all the time is helpful, but the struggle remains.

    It's always good to get those people out of your life who are tearing you down and not supporting your goals to lose weight. And yes it is difficult, but you deserve it and it will come to you. Just keep telling yourself you are worthy and worth it.I believe in you and we are all on this journey together. Good luck to you.
  • mpkpbk2015
    mpkpbk2015 Posts: 766 Member
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    tuckerrj wrote: »
    CameronWhittaker wrote: »
    I have done 5 months of really clean eating and regular exercise and my results have been amazing (50kg loss), but since hitting the 5-month park I have been struggling.

    Not fully blowing up calorie-wise and I have been logging fairly accurately. But just giving into temptation, I set myself hard rules like No chocolate, No lollies, No chippies, and No takeaways. I have been bending these rules a lot, little bits of lollies, chocolate, and chippies. and I have had takeaways a few times.

    It's stupid because the small amount of chocolate I have eaten isn't even an issue calorie-wise.. but breaking my rules feels like a huge defeat after going 5 months with none.

    Even today I kept under my calories, and most of my food was fine. But I had a bacon & egg McMuffin, I shouldn't have had that and it feels like a defeat even though iv kept it under my goal.

    I haven't fully broken and bought a block of chocolate or a bag of chips but I feel like that slide is coming.

    Having lost so much weight in such a short time, many dietitians and lipidologists/physiologists have recommended a "MAINTENANCE" phase in your weight lost efforts. Anywhere from 2/3 as long to the whole length of your diet so far (5 months) you would eat at maintenance, trying not to gain or lose any significant amount of weight. The increase in calories, which may only be 300 - 500 per day in some cases, will help reduce "diet fatigue" and prepare you for your next push into further weight loss. Dr. Mike Isratel, Dr. James Hoffman & Dr. Spencer Nadolsky have done extensive research into this phenomenon.

    Great advise - sometimes I think maintenance is harder than taking it off. Thanks for your insight.
  • mpkpbk2015
    mpkpbk2015 Posts: 766 Member
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    Spotteddingo wrote: »
    6- Fear of success
    9-Skipping meals

    Wow... these are right on the money and hit a vulnerable spot. I don't think I am afraid of success as much as failure but as I am seeing results, this thought is calming down.

    I have had some not so great thoughts about food all my life. Skipping meals: I have thought that less calories in = weight loss. I was an endurance athlete for 12 years and my weight kept creeping up. As people made comments on how "skinny" I should be for all my exercise, I just kept eating less. I got to the point where I was swimming 2 to 5 miles a day and only eating 800-100 cal/day. Now I realize this is unhealthy and I need to stay in a window close to my allotted calories.

    I am finding that this journey can be all over the place emotionally. It is a little anxiety producing at times but these threads are very helpful and really inspiring.

    Grateful

    Thank you so much. I thought of this thread on the anniversary of my mom's passing. She was my biggest supporter on my journey and her big thing was knowledge of what's holding you back from reaching your goals. So this thread was to honor her. So thank you for sharing.
  • azalea4175
    azalea4175 Posts: 290 Member
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    deb0rah2 wrote: »
    I seem to have no off-button when it comes to food. I rarely feel full, so I have to constantly say "don't start" or "stop." Then I get mad because I feel so caged in by rules--rules that I WANT to follow, but hate. I wish I could learn not to think about food constantly.

    Food for me has NEVER been about hunger. It was always "time for breakfast", "time for lunch", "want a cookie", etc so I never learned hunger triggers - or satiety triggers. I had to relearn how to eat and how much and when my body needed fuel. I started measuring foods and really listening to my body, and started working with an online health coach. I also upped my water intake, and protein. That made a huge difference for me. I appreciate where you are.
  • mpkpbk2015
    mpkpbk2015 Posts: 766 Member
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    tomaspetro wrote: »
    After 160+ pounds lost
    my L size clothes are too tight. Ignore and move on to XL
    my XL clothes are too tight. Tsk Tsk myself, Ignore and move on to XXL
    my XXL clothes are too tight. "Better do something" myself, Ignore and move on to XXXL
    my XXXL will soon be too small. Finally started positive change in eating.

    Not sure what this tells me. I guess that I hate saying no to food and became just generally angry because I know I have to. I became completely delusional about my ability to control the weight. A belief about control is not control. "The most difficult thing is the decision to act" Perhaps the changes I expected after losing the weight just didn't materialize. Those expectations run a lifetime deep and stay hidden for the most part. How do you remove the past images and sounds, the ridicule and shame, name calling, whispers and self loathing associated with a morbidly obese life? That, I don't know but I do know finding a positive avenue is a hell of a lot healthier than moving on to 4X. I can't say I'm happy to start this journey again, or look forward to loving myself (I'll settle for a handshake and a bucket of self tolerance) but I do look forward to pulling out those boxed clothes in the reverse order. Thanks for all the thoughtful posts

    As a multiple time journey starter and finally a finisher - you can do it. It's hard starting over. But instead of a handshake sending you a virtual hug and lots of love for the journey and a bunch of courage. You can do it my friend and know everybody reading this post is there with you to support and stand by you. Take care and good luck.💖💖💖
  • imgwendolyn2015
    imgwendolyn2015 Posts: 347 Member
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    My sabotage comes from being worried too much about my daughter. She is 25 but every time she struggles with certain parts of life, work, finances, man trouble, I internalize it and take it on. I find that I stop focusing on the daily parts of my journey to just sit and worry about her. When worry comes, so does the emotional eating and there goes my progress! She is my only child and life has not been the easiest for her. I don't know that I will ever be able to stop doing it to myself but I hope I can create easy daily tasks for myself so that even if I do derail, I can get right back on it.

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