What nobody tells you about losing weight
Replies
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@GamerGranny and @Wunderkindking I shop secondhand, too. I use poshmark, ebay, Mercari and Thredup. I buy a lot of pants cuz fellow apple, have slim hips and thighs so can usually find 26 x32 or 27 x 32 pants at a decent price. Unfortunately for me, my big middle makes it harder to find flattering tops.5
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wunderkindking wrote: »springlering62 wrote: »wunderkindking wrote: »Then eventually you get enough loose skin and it vanishes.again....
Nice new profile pic!!!!
The stomach vacuum that @ninerbuff discussed really has helped me.
He suggested pulling in your stomach as tightly as possible and holding for two or three minutes, while trying to maintain the best possible posture.
I started doing it as I walked, trying to pull "belly button to spine" as the say in Pilates for as long as I could (until I get distracted and forget!).
I can see a noticeable difference in loose belly skin after a couple months.
I am definitely going to start doing that. and thank you!
Well, doing that does rather confirm that I will need at least some surgery. It feels very strange and wrong down the center of my belly when I do that. But I'm shortwaisted and in my twenties had three large babies, so apparently my abs are split.4 -
You will lose some friends who see you as a threat! Just let them go.....
Some people cannot deal with you accomplishing what they have convinced themselves as impossible. The mind believes what we tell it, especially when we tell it something repeatedly. This can be to our detriment but it can also be our greatest strength if it is used wisely.
Karen12 -
Losing weight will not fix your life.26
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AlexandraFindsHerself1971 wrote: »wunderkindking wrote: »springlering62 wrote: »wunderkindking wrote: »Then eventually you get enough loose skin and it vanishes.again....
Nice new profile pic!!!!
The stomach vacuum that @ninerbuff discussed really has helped me.
He suggested pulling in your stomach as tightly as possible and holding for two or three minutes, while trying to maintain the best possible posture.
I started doing it as I walked, trying to pull "belly button to spine" as the say in Pilates for as long as I could (until I get distracted and forget!).
I can see a noticeable difference in loose belly skin after a couple months.
I am definitely going to start doing that. and thank you!
Well, doing that does rather confirm that I will need at least some surgery. It feels very strange and wrong down the center of my belly when I do that. But I'm shortwaisted and in my twenties had three large babies, so apparently my abs are split.
I had a big diastasis recti when I started losing weight, due mostly to obesity but also to a large ovarian tumor. I had like a five inch gap and when I did crunches you could see a huge bulge protruding between my abs. After a lot of work it is completely closed up now. So don’t give up yet, you might not need surgery.
The vacuum exercise suggested is a good one, but for someone like you (and me) before you get to that point you gotta get to where your insides are actually on the inside! What helped me starting out was stretching up with my fingertips as if I was trying to touch the ceiling. Stretch all the way up and then stretch some more. Eventually as you lose weight you should feel your insides move back into proper alignment. Hang on to that feeling!
The other thing that helped hugely was an abs roller. At first you may not be able to go down very far at all, but it really engages your abs without splitting them apart in the same way crunches do. Roll out straight and also curving to each side to hit your transverse muscles.11 -
rheddmobile wrote: »AlexandraFindsHerself1971 wrote: »wunderkindking wrote: »springlering62 wrote: »wunderkindking wrote: »Then eventually you get enough loose skin and it vanishes.again....
Nice new profile pic!!!!
The stomach vacuum that @ninerbuff discussed really has helped me.
He suggested pulling in your stomach as tightly as possible and holding for two or three minutes, while trying to maintain the best possible posture.
I started doing it as I walked, trying to pull "belly button to spine" as the say in Pilates for as long as I could (until I get distracted and forget!).
I can see a noticeable difference in loose belly skin after a couple months.
I am definitely going to start doing that. and thank you!
Well, doing that does rather confirm that I will need at least some surgery. It feels very strange and wrong down the center of my belly when I do that. But I'm shortwaisted and in my twenties had three large babies, so apparently my abs are split.
I had a big diastasis recti when I started losing weight, due mostly to obesity but also to a large ovarian tumor. I had like a five inch gap and when I did crunches you could see a huge bulge protruding between my abs. After a lot of work it is completely closed up now. So don’t give up yet, you might not need surgery.
The vacuum exercise suggested is a good one, but for someone like you (and me) before you get to that point you gotta get to where your insides are actually on the inside! What helped me starting out was stretching up with my fingertips as if I was trying to touch the ceiling. Stretch all the way up and then stretch some more. Eventually as you lose weight you should feel your insides move back into proper alignment. Hang on to that feeling!
The other thing that helped hugely was an abs roller. At first you may not be able to go down very far at all, but it really engages your abs without splitting them apart in the same way crunches do. Roll out straight and also curving to each side to hit your transverse muscles.
For diastasis recti, and for the stomach vacuum exercise, I have found Bodyfit by Amy (youtube) to be a really great resource. She has great education, great credentials, has an entire playlist for diastasis recti, and is able to explain things really well. It definitely helped me a lot, both for appearance and function / strength. Worth a look for anyone interested in learning more
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AlexandraFindsHerself1971 wrote: »Well, doing that does rather confirm that I will need at least some surgery. It feels very strange and wrong down the center of my belly when I do that. But I'm shortwaisted and in my twenties had three large babies, so apparently my abs are split.
@AlexandraFindsHerself1971, you might want to have a look at the ab separation exercises such as these that BodyFit by Amy offers: https://bodyfitbyamy.com/diastasis-recti-workouts/.
For background, Amy had a caesarean with her first baby and ab separation with her second and she's very intersted in helping women to heal this and strengthen their core without surgery.
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Not sure if this has been mentioned before:
By losing weight, by making a commitment to your physical and mental well-being, consistently, you are in a community that the majority of people on the outside cannot understand. Some people might be threatened by this vision, and even more so by your new changes.
It takes vision, persistence, motivation, consistency and digging in, reflection and a greater desire to do something that not everyone can do. On more cynical days, I can easily lump in 70% of people in the same group, one that is happy to settle.
When you are in the gym, crushing it, or planning out your meals, checking macros, etc you are part of a small but dedicated community that goes against what society wants you to do, which is consume in excess, and consume food that is essentially poison.
Elliot Hulse said something that rings true. About you being in the gym, lifting weights, losing weight, changing lifestyles, it was about reforming yourself mentally and physically according to your own conscious desires.
"There is a threshold you have to cross...lifting barbells is a transformative process that makes you a stronger person..most people are too scared to cross that threshold... when you cross that threshold you are breaking into a fortress where there are jewels of untold value that will transform you into a new person....that power that makes you a stronger person...when you cross that threshold, your body grows stronger....when you put every once of effect, commitment, discipline, you are born again....people will recognize there's a newfound power, they won't feel you the same way, they won't talk to you the same way, the look in your eyes will be brand-new..."
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I love this thread (I went back and read most of the old posts)!
I am sure it has been mentioned before but:
My mindset is the most important thing going into this. Its not neccessarily about grit (which is also needed) but about really looking at how you are talking to yourself, and how you handle your emotions (for me it was with food-- a lot of food). I have been working a lot on my thoughts and feelings towards food and coming to terms with a lot of those things is not easy and there is a lot of vulnberability. But every time i get a little bit better with those they build and make it easier to not overeat and to find a healthier more balanced relationship. This is a work in progress still but its such much better and freeing from where I was last year.
Also that once you weigh your food you become really sad at how little a serving is for some items. Mainly peanut butter. The sweets and desserts going down didnt bother me as much as I thought they would (and honestly it is a perfect size for me now) but a serving of peanut butter is just something I don't know if I will ever be able to get over.15 -
That it's never enough. You can lose all you want but until you figure out what's really wrong it won't make a damn bit of difference.
I dropped sizes and pounds but still saw a fat person in the mirror. Landed me in treatment for an eating disorder.26 -
Nobody ever told me that hunger isn't a small scale emergency.
My folks and I all have issues with hypoglycemia but I actually overcame them. For me anyway it's all in how I time things as well as in what I eat. If I have a carb first thing in the morning, even a healthy complex carb, guaranteed I'll have a blood sugar roller coaster ride. If I have protein first thing in the morning, or at least something containing protein, or totally skip breakfast, then everything stays happy and steady. I get hungry but it's the kind of thing that I can delay if needed and still make good choices, not that mindless "must have every carb in the house NOW" type hunger.
It was a revelation to me once I finally figured this out!
Also, I had no idea how much I'd love cooking after going on this healthy journey. Cooking with lots of colorful vegetables, lean protein, and flavorful, exotic herbs and spices has been so much fun, a lot less messy than with greasy spattery food, and it's been loads of fun learning new techniques and figuring out new recipes. I have a blast, and at the beginning of this I thought that cooking was something I wouldn't be able to enjoy as much.
Which reminds me, I need to come up with some kind of new and fun thing to make now! Like maybe a lunch salad with ALL the vegetables.16 -
I am with you @Sand_TIger . I need protein for breakfast... usually eggs. I just feel better throughout the day. I recently had pad thai with tofu. I did not have a large portion but it certainly set me off to wanting more, more, more. My thought is that I am just not used to that many carbs.
I have always enjoyed cooking but really learning what is best to eat and staying within my calories has opened up the whole crayon box. I have gotten very creative!
This is a new way of life for me and it is good.
One thing that I have noticed about losing weight is that even my eyelids are less heavy/droopy.12 -
AlexandraFindsHerself1971 wrote: »Well, doing that does rather confirm that I will need at least some surgery. It feels very strange and wrong down the center of my belly when I do that. But I'm shortwaisted and in my twenties had three large babies, so apparently my abs are split.
@AlexandraFindsHerself1971, you might want to have a look at the ab separation exercises such as these that BodyFit by Amy offers: https://bodyfitbyamy.com/diastasis-recti-workouts/.
For background, Amy had a caesarean with her first baby and ab separation with her second and she's very intersted in helping women to heal this and strengthen their core without surgery.
So good to hear about this! Thanks everyone - always amazed the things I pick up here. I had full sized twins and was 5 FEET around - yep there's def some of this.9 -
I haven't experienced a dramatic weight loss, but I saw myself in a way I never saw myself before. I felt very healthy don't get me wrong, but sometimes there are traumas that chase us. The ghost of being the chubby girl is still there, or the enormous fear of getting the weight back.
It's hard, but I want to keep going, and release that shadow from me. I also thought that being less chubby would upgrade my self esteem, that's what society makes you think, but it isn't true. Even after my weight loss, I'm still working on my self esteem.20 -
I got checked by a doctor to be safe, as the disclaimer. Things are fine and apparently it happens.
But yes, absolutely, I have lost more fat from one breast than the other making me INSANELY lopsided right now. Fun!16 -
Expect your knickers to fall down in public at some point 😳15
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Jodear2122 wrote: »Expect your knickers to fall down in public at some point 😳
OH so Covid restrictions do have their benefits...... Keeping me from people seeing my knickers fall down!!! 😁15 -
Jodear2122 wrote: »Expect your knickers to fall down in public at some point 😳
And your knockers to fall out when your tanks get too big.17 -
Jodear2122 wrote: »Expect your knickers to fall down in public at some point 😳
Good grief, it happened today for me at the gym. How embarassing
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I had no idea that there would be so many stalls.
I don't get my carrot at the end of the stick every day. (Or my cheese/chocolate at the end of my fork everyday.) So, when the stalls keep coming, I have to find incredible determination.
Honestly, determination to figure out how to get what I want feels uncomfortable. It is a lot easier to hide or stress binge when I watch TV late at night.
Success rides on what I do, not on what others do. I have the responsibility here. I am accountable. If I succeed it's only because of my perseverance, honesty, and desire to succeed. If I want this, I can't fade away or find something to hide behind.
These stalls force me to stand even stronger. I surprise myself.
I didn't loosing 20 pounds would be so very very challenging.21 -
I had no idea that loosing weight would be more about me on the inside than me on the outside.40
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fitstrongfitlove wrote: »I had no idea that loosing weight would be more about me on the inside than me on the outside.
Yep.
People said losing weight helped them gain confidence. I kinda scoffed at the idea that it would happen for me because while I have issues with confidence (or have had), it was never about how I LOOKED.
I am, basically, not afraid of ANY freaking thing anymore and it's come along with weight loss, but not because I've dropped a pants size. Rather, because I had to stop hiding behind food and my weight.20 -
fitstrongfitlove wrote: »
I didn't know losing 20 pounds would be so very very challenging.
The last 20 pounds are regarded by many as the hardest, because your body may not want to drip that last bit. It seems easier to drop weight when you have a lot to lose, but nearly everybody (or maybe everybody) slows down at the end. So good job hanging in there!
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wunderkindking wrote: »fitstrongfitlove wrote: »I had no idea that loosing weight would be more about me on the inside than me on the outside.
Yep.
People said losing weight helped them gain confidence. I kinda scoffed at the idea that it would happen for me because while I have issues with confidence (or have had), it was never about how I LOOKED.
I am, basically, not afraid of ANY freaking thing anymore and it's come along with weight loss, but not because I've dropped a pants size. Rather, because I had to stop hiding behind food and my weight.
For me, the confidence simply came from the fact that I set my mind to it, and I did it.
No one can be harder on me than myself, and despite being married for donkey’s years to the same wonderful guy and having great kids, I beat myself up for not accomplishing more. This is something I can hug to myself and say,”I did this. I finished this. I won this battle.”
Because it was (and still is, every single day) a battle.25 -
springlering62 wrote: »wunderkindking wrote: »fitstrongfitlove wrote: »I had no idea that loosing weight would be more about me on the inside than me on the outside.
Yep.
People said losing weight helped them gain confidence. I kinda scoffed at the idea that it would happen for me because while I have issues with confidence (or have had), it was never about how I LOOKED.
I am, basically, not afraid of ANY freaking thing anymore and it's come along with weight loss, but not because I've dropped a pants size. Rather, because I had to stop hiding behind food and my weight.
For me, the confidence simply came from the fact that I set my mind to it, and I did it.
No one can be harder on me than myself, and despite being married for donkey’s years to the same wonderful guy and having great kids, I beat myself up for not accomplishing more. This is something I can hug to myself and say,”I did this. I finished this. I won this battle.”
Because it was (and still is, every single day) a battle.
Same thing for me. I can be a very lazy person with discipline and concentration issues. The fact that I've managed to lose so much weight is a huge confidence booster.
I hope it will help me find a new job. Last time I was job hunting it took me years (pickiness, but also bad interviews due to lack of confidence and prejudice towards obesity).17 -
My blanket feels so huge now, I am pretty sure I had trouble fitting all of me inside it just an year ago. Also, I have noticed shower time is less noisy because the fat doesn't flap around when I am rubbing body wash all over me.14
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I was told that we lose weight unevevenly. I assumed that that would be breasts before gut or arms before butt. I didn't realise that individual body parts will lose unevenly. My breasts and arms have divots.
No one told me that I could lose 25kg (50lb), and people wouldn't notice.
No one told me that I could do this. I only knew one lady who had lost a lot of weight, and she was heavily into running, so it didn't seem practical for me. I had to find my own route, when I was ready. But a bit of moral support would have been nice.31 -
Not only do you have to change all your clothing - but accessories too. What I use to 'be able' to wear now is overwhelming to my frame/face. Like earring size - bags/purses.14
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Mondowefte wrote: »
No one told me that I could do this. I only knew one lady who had lost a lot of weight, and she was heavily into running, so it didn't seem practical for me. I had to find my own route, when I was ready. But a bit of moral support would have been nice.
Well then - YOU CAN DO THIS! You can TOTALLY do this! There are so many fantastic examples of people from all ability levels and walks of life here on MFP who have, and they inspire me every day. If someone who can't walk can lose weight, or someone who started at 500 pounds, or someone who is starting over 70, then we can both lose weight and gain health too. All it takes is patience, consistency and time.
Great job with what you've done already! Nobody really told me all the strange ways my body would drop weight either, LOL.
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Mondowefte wrote: »No one told me that I could lose 25kg (50lb), and people wouldn't notice.
Couldn't agree more. I'm down 16.3% of my body weight and no one has mentioned it? Maybe I didn't look that bad 50 lbs heavier? But I sure feel a lot better! At the end of the day, I'm doing this for me, not anyone else, but I appreciate your frustration.13
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