What nobody tells you about losing weight
Replies
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wonderingfab wrote: »@ charmmeth , in fact we are at a similar stage of the journey indeed except that you seem to be one step farther as we are almost the same weight but I am shorter than you (which I enjoy writing as at 1.77 meter, I don't often have the opprtunity to say that I am shorter than another woman) . I did lose weight once before and kept it off for a couple of years until I took a job working nights in an office. Within another couple of years, I put it all back on + some more. I so want to avoid doing the same again! I suspect that keeping updating the diaries is part of the solution (until I eat in restaurants). I do wish you luck too and whatever tip you learn along the way, do not hesitate to share!
This is exactly what I did: lost to goal, kept it off (ish) for a couple of years and then put it all back on over the next three years. I have designed myself a spreadsheet to help me track trends and to encourage me to intervene if I get above my maintenance level, instead of waiting for another 30lbs. If it would be helpful to you I could send you over a blank version?
That would be great! I take any new tool😊 .
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Man how much easier it is to balance in and out food with energy when you can jog for 30mins? Mfp thinks I burn close to 400kcals, that’s like a whole meal!9
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It's not a linear process! Some days/weeks you will not lose anything and that's okay. Stick to your plan.
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Agreed! As long as you are in the process, then it's working - actual weight on any day is a only crude indicator as it's a rollercoaster ride which includes some hefty stalls and drops!
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How much you can eat or what you can eat, and still lose weight or maintain it. Everyone is constantly questioning my choices which is super annoying. I'm tempted to start a thread about it, unless someone has a link to one?
My mom said to my doctor, "it's like she's living in two seperate worlds, one where she wants to lose weight and be super healthy, and the other where if she exercises she gets to eat McDonalds." She can't have it both ways. Umm actually I can?24 -
cyaneverfat wrote: »How much you can eat or what you can eat, and still lose weight or maintain it. Everyone is constantly questioning my choices which is super annoying. I'm tempted to start a thread about it, unless someone has a link to one?
My mom said to my doctor, "it's like she's living in two seperate worlds, one where she wants to lose weight and be super healthy, and the other where if she exercises she gets to eat McDonalds." She can't have it both ways. Umm actually I can?
I also get the same comments from my mother when I tell her that I ate something that she doesn't deem healthy. I keep telling her I'm either maintaining or actively losing so I'm ok with my decisions8 -
Nobody told me that I might eventually be willing to wear a bra when I don't have to. I'm genetically large-busted (34FF currently), so there's a limit to how much smaller my girls get regardless of weight, and even at my skinniest, I've NEVER stopped being eager to take my bra off the instant I got home. And that's with expensive bras that fit properly. Well, turns out strength-training combined with fat loss is magic because my bras no longer bug me at all. The extra muscle means the band doesn't dig in, and neither do the shoulder straps. I also don't feel squeezed on the sides of my breasts because of the fat there.
I've only lost 7lbs and one cup size so far. My band size hasn't changed, though I'm using different hooks now. So, it's not like I've lost a ton of weight in that area. No, the big difference seems to be the strength training causing the fat to be replaced with muscle as I lose. I've never done this much strength work before, and it's amazing how my body is reconfiguring itself. I can already tell my clothes are going to fit differently than they ever have even when I get to my goal weight. I've lost weight before, but adding in the strength work is a game-changer. (I'm doing weights at the gym and swimming laps for cardio.)
Another thing I didn't expect was that my comfy spot on the couch is no longer comfortable because I like to sit differently now. Also, I no longer have a constant pile in my foyer of stuff to be carried upstairs. Now I take things up immediately. I never realized I was subconsciously avoiding the stairs until I found myself bounding up them one day with only a pair of shoes in my hand. In the past those shoes would have sat downstairs until I had a whole armload I could combine in one trip. I keep noticing little habit changes like this. I never realized how many of my habits had come about because of weight.31 -
BrightEyedAgain wrote: »Nobody told me that I might eventually be willing to wear a bra when I don't have to. I'm genetically large-busted (34FF currently), so there's a limit to how much smaller my girls get regardless of weight, and even at my skinniest, I've NEVER stopped being eager to take my bra off the instant I got home. And that's with expensive bras that fit properly. Well, turns out strength-training combined with fat loss is magic because my bras no longer bug me at all. The extra muscle means the band doesn't dig in, and neither do the shoulder straps. I also don't feel squeezed on the sides of my breasts because of the fat there.
I've only lost 7lbs and one cup size so far. My band size hasn't changed, though I'm using different hooks now. So, it's not like I've lost a ton of weight in that area. No, the big difference seems to be the strength training causing the fat to be replaced with muscle as I lose. I've never done this much strength work before, and it's amazing how my body is reconfiguring itself. I can already tell my clothes are going to fit differently than they ever have even when I get to my goal weight. I've lost weight before, but adding in the strength work is a game-changer. (I'm doing weights at the gym and swimming laps for cardio.)
Another thing I didn't expect was that my comfy spot on the couch is no longer comfortable because I like to sit differently now. Also, I no longer have a constant pile in my foyer of stuff to be carried upstairs. Now I take things up immediately. I never realized I was subconsciously avoiding the stairs until I found myself bounding up them one day with only a pair of shoes in my hand. In the past those shoes would have sat downstairs until I had a whole armload I could combine in one trip. I keep noticing little habit changes like this. I never realized how many of my habits had come about because of weight.
I had the opposite bra experience. Once I shrank out of my old expensive bras, I was too cheap to buy new ones until I was finished losing weight. So I just swapped to wearing cheap comfy sports bras temporarily. Well... 7 years later I still wear almost nothing but sports bras and bralettes because DAMN THEY ARE SO MUCH MORE COMFY!
I save my 1 single real bra for if I wear a dress or something fancy that won't work to just go braless entirely.14 -
No one told me that the wishful thinking I did (if I was that skinny or I wish I was that size) sounds sarcastic when it’s said to you.12
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@cyaneverfat I'm not sure if this is quite what you were thinking of, but I enjoy following this thread:
https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10735982/things-people-say-when-you-lose-weight#latest6 -
How uncomfortable it would be to sleep with all my bones clunking into each other.
How hard it is to shave your knees when they have ridges and edges instead of just swollen fat skin that’s smooth and easy to shave.12 -
I thought my breasts would shrink when I lost weight. I've gone from a 40 band to a 34 and I'm not done, but the volume hasn't changed hardly at all. 40F became a 38F became a 36G became a 34H. This is....not what I thought was going to happen.10
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AlexandraFindsHerself1971 wrote: »I thought my breasts would shrink when I lost weight. I've gone from a 40 band to a 34 and I'm not done, but the volume hasn't changed hardly at all. 40F became a 38F became a 36G became a 34H. This is....not what I thought was going to happen.
Me too! I lost 75 pounds and went from a 40F to a 38F. My back is still very broad and the boobs large. I’m at a healthy weight but in order to get dresses to fit I have to go up a few sizes if there’s a zipper. I’m a size 6 in skirts and pants and in shirts and jackets can easily wear a medium ( because of stretch in most tops. But in dresses I’m a 12 or larger and they hang on me everywhere but the chest. Super annoying.
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AlexandraFindsHerself1971 wrote: »I thought my breasts would shrink when I lost weight. I've gone from a 40 band to a 34 and I'm not done, but the volume hasn't changed hardly at all. 40F became a 38F became a 36G became a 34H. This is....not what I thought was going to happen.
my boobs really deflated during the last 6-7 kgs of my weighloss.It was one of the last things to go. Used to be an 80E ,now i'm a 60D (EU size)4 -
@jennypapage - I had the same experience (and I need to update my profile pic to reflect this). For those unhappy with their current cup size, my advice is to keep losing if you can manage it and it's still healthy for you to keep losing.3
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Don't be surprised if it takes close friends/relatives a long time to broach the subject of your weight loss with you. I literally had to lose 40 pounds before my mother, whom I see on a regular basis, said that it looked like I had lost weight. The outfit I had on "fit" a few months ago and is now fairly baggy, so it must have been more apparent to her. I was glad she noticed, but ultimately, I am happy with how I am progressing and don't need a lot of external validation.12
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Things that I have noticed about myself since losing 97 lbs. is
1. The water in the bath tub now "freely" flows around my hips. Before it was like the Hoover Dam holding back the Red Sea. No movement at all!
2. Not having to move the car seat back of my friend's car when I drove.
3. Having to get a new office chair, because the one I had for the past three years is now too big and I keep sliding forward. My hips don't touch the sides.
4. Can feel bones in my body that I didn't know I had in my shoulders, back, knees, hips. They are quite pointy also.
All in all, I am so happy with my progress, and if anyone dares to speak negatively to me about my decision to lose weight on my own, I just double dare them!!!16 -
That you might look OLDER due to weight loss in your face/neck.
Still worth it, but a thing.19 -
MyFABRICWOMAN wrote: »Things that I have noticed about myself since losing 97 lbs. is
2. Not having to move the car seat back of my friend's car when I drove.
That reminds me: I need to adjust the steering wheel and/or seat in my car. The timing couldn't be worse. DH hasn't driven in a year and will now be driving himself to physical therapy once a week. When I am fat, we just adjust the mirror, but as I lose weight, I need to move everything else and they no longer fit his taller body. My fat bum makes up for a few inches of height...
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Nobody told me how much of this journey is about facing fear and not letting it stop you. Fear of what it will mean to be thin, fear of failure, fear of change, fear of the gym, fear of looking stupid, fear of other people's responses, fear of injury, fear of being strong, fear of saying no. All these fears I didn't even know I had are now coming up along with memories/emotions from years back that I thought I'd already dealt with.
I'm only 11 lbs down so far, but I already feel like a new person because of all the fears I've had to face and conquer just to DO this thing--especially the strength/fitness part. I've realized that most of my weight issues are really IDENTITY issues, and that a lot of what I'm doing is breaking off old agreements with family/friends to be a certain way. Now I'm finding out who I really am, one workout and one logged meal at a time, and it's incredible. I never ever want to go back to living with all those fears. Not ever.
As awesome as the weight loss is, discovering my true self is even better. Now I'm just eager to see what that person's body ends up looking like because I honestly don't know!! I've yo-yo'd weight before with various methods, but I've never logged calories and tracked macros. And I've nevered combined diet with consistent strength training/exercise. The combination is already producing VERY different results than I've seen before--both physical and mental. For the first time in my life, I'm starting to believe that I could be an honest-to-goodness ATHLETE, like nothing's off the table if I'm willing to work for it. And for once, I don't mind not being good at things initially because I know I will get better. And that maybe this really WILL be the final time I have to lose this weight. This is an inner shift I've never felt before, and I'm so excited to see my future unfold!!
Somebody around here said there comes a point where you're just READY to lose the weight, and I think I'm there. Reading this and the other MFP threads has helped me a lot, and I know that will continue. So thank you all for posting. It really does matter.53 -
That sustainable weight loss is slow and steady. All these adverts for apps and programs that promise to get you to lose 10lb a week or whatever, make you really demotivated when you look at the scale and you've "only" lost 0.5lb. One you stop expecting huge losses you start to focus on the long term and stop losing motivation when you don't see them.
Also, well meaning friends will always tell you that you don't need to lose weight as if they think you're only trying to because you hate yourself and they want to make you feel better. I heard a great quote once that I tell them - "I don't workout because I hate my body, I workout because I love my body" and I think it's great because it helps you to focus on why you're losing weight. Because I love and respect my body and want it to be as healthy as it can be, not because I hate myself. When you think more positively, it really helps keep the motivation up.28 -
happimess01 wrote: »That sometimes you will go to bed sad. During my bingeing days, whenever I was feeling down, I would soothe myself with food. Whatever was troubling me didnt stand a chance in front of Ben and Jerrys and whatever carb fest I was craving that night. Now that I am watching what I eat, I sometimes have to sit with those feelings of stress and anger. Walking, taking a shower and all those other things help but still...
Oh man! This struck me so hard. I'm going to copy this and share it around if you don't mind? Bingeing is such a beast and any help to stave it off needs to be my arsenal! Thank you so much.16 -
happimess01 wrote: »That sometimes you will go to bed sad. During my bingeing days, whenever I was feeling down, I would soothe myself with food. Whatever was troubling me didnt stand a chance in front of Ben and Jerrys and whatever carb fest I was craving that night. Now that I am watching what I eat, I sometimes have to sit with those feelings of stress and anger. Walking, taking a shower and all those other things help but still...
Yes, but you won't wake up feeling sad! When you DIDN'T binge the night before you feel so PROUD of yourself the next morning! Kind of like... "Shwew! Thank God I made it through last night without blowing it!" You then don't face that morning hangover of food regret. So, that's a plus. But, I wish you well in learning how to not feel sad on those tough evenings too.21 -
Serious for a second:
- Realizing that it wasn't my weight that was making me unhappy. There was something broken in my head. Once I fixed that, I was able to start losing the weight. I had to learn to love myself so that I could lose weight, instead of losing weight so that I could love myself.
^^^ Not my words^^^^
But yes!! I completely agree24 -
joyanna2016 wrote: »happimess01 wrote: »That sometimes you will go to bed sad. During my bingeing days, whenever I was feeling down, I would soothe myself with food. Whatever was troubling me didnt stand a chance in front of Ben and Jerrys and whatever carb fest I was craving that night. Now that I am watching what I eat, I sometimes have to sit with those feelings of stress and anger. Walking, taking a shower and all those other things help but still...
Yes, but you won't wake up feeling sad! When you DIDN'T binge the night before you feel so PROUD of yourself the next morning! Kind of like... "Shwew! Thank God I made it through last night without blowing it!" You then don't face that morning hangover of food regret. So, that's a plus. But, I wish you well in learning how to not feel sad on those tough evenings too.
yep, couldn't agree more with you. You definitely feel like a winner in the morning.8 -
GigiDeborah wrote: »happimess01 wrote: »That sometimes you will go to bed sad. During my bingeing days, whenever I was feeling down, I would soothe myself with food. Whatever was troubling me didnt stand a chance in front of Ben and Jerrys and whatever carb fest I was craving that night. Now that I am watching what I eat, I sometimes have to sit with those feelings of stress and anger. Walking, taking a shower and all those other things help but still...
Oh man! This struck me so hard. I'm going to copy this and share it around if you don't mind? Bingeing is such a beast and any help to stave it off needs to be my arsenal! Thank you so much.
haah sure! I wish I had ended the post on a more positive note though4 -
That misery loves company and your friends and family will want you to "just have one" drink or bad food so they do not feel bad about eating or drinking unhealthy
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That misery loves company and your friends and family will want you to "just have one" drink or bad food so they do not feel bad about eating or drinking unhealthy
This was me! I was so proud of the changes I made (first time around 5 years ago) and happy with myself for the first time in a long time. I had stuck to and completed something that was very difficult. My husband at the time would tell me that I made him look bad and should "just get old, fat and happy like me''. I did not equate that with happy. I wanted to remain active and healthy as long as possible.18 -
That misery loves company and your friends and family will want you to "just have one" drink or bad food so they do not feel bad about eating or drinking unhealthy
Maybe for some, but I think that most people encourage others to have a drink or to eat snacks or desserts because they are enjoying those foods and want you to have the same enjoyment. Tbh, I am a glass half-full kind-of girl!
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BrightEyedAgain wrote: »Nobody told me how much of this journey is about facing fear and not letting it stop you. Fear of what it will mean to be thin, fear of failure, fear of change, fear of the gym, fear of looking stupid, fear of other people's responses, fear of injury, fear of being strong, fear of saying no. All these fears I didn't even know I had are now coming up along with memories/emotions from years back that I thought I'd already dealt with.
I'm only 11 lbs down so far, but I already feel like a new person because of all the fears I've had to face and conquer just to DO this thing--especially the strength/fitness part. I've realized that most of my weight issues are really IDENTITY issues, and that a lot of what I'm doing is breaking off old agreements with family/friends to be a certain way. Now I'm finding out who I really am, one workout and one logged meal at a time, and it's incredible. I never ever want to go back to living with all those fears. Not ever.
As awesome as the weight loss is, discovering my true self is even better. Now I'm just eager to see what that person's body ends up looking like because I honestly don't know!! I've yo-yo'd weight before with various methods, but I've never logged calories and tracked macros. And I've nevered combined diet with consistent strength training/exercise. The combination is already producing VERY different results than I've seen before--both physical and mental. For the first time in my life, I'm starting to believe that I could be an honest-to-goodness ATHLETE, like nothing's off the table if I'm willing to work for it. And for once, I don't mind not being good at things initially because I know I will get better. And that maybe this really WILL be the final time I have to lose this weight. This is an inner shift I've never felt before, and I'm so excited to see my future unfold!!
Somebody around here said there comes a point where you're just READY to lose the weight, and I think I'm there. Reading this and the other MFP threads has helped me a lot, and I know that will continue. So thank you all for posting. It really does matter.
Thank you too for posting this!
It really hits home for me, and I honestly believe you're on the right path.
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Serious for a second:
- Realizing that it wasn't my weight that was making me unhappy. There was something broken in my head. Once I fixed that, I was able to start losing the weight. I had to learn to love myself so that I could lose weight, instead of losing weight so that I could love myself.
^^^ Not my words^^^^
But yes!! I completely agree
This has totally been what I've been learning in my journey. So true!!6
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