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Mention it or don’t? How should I phrase it?

OnedaywriterOnedaywriter Member Posts: 307 Member Member Posts: 307 Member
So this morning I went to the gym and saw an acquaintance that I haven’t seen since January or so. I changed my workout time so haven’t been there this early for a while. OMG- she lost a lot of weight and looked so much more toned and muscular at first I didn’t recognize her!

I wanted to congratulate her because I’m too familiar with the effort in such a change, but I also felt strange doing so. I personally felt very encouraged by positive comments so I wanted to give praise but I didn’t want to make her feel awkward. .
I’ve seen a lot of posts where people are upset because they think nobody noticed, but others seem to be uncomfortable with any comment about weight/ body change at all- even positive ones.

Sorry I’m so socially inept I have to ask an online forum, but what is appropriate?

Thanks
edited May 20
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Replies

  • qhob_89qhob_89 Member Posts: 105 Member Member Posts: 105 Member
    It doesn’t seem like you’re being creep, and are trying to be sincerely nice. Since you said “acquaintance” I take it as this is someone you’ve interacted with at the gym previously. (If no previous interaction, I probably wouldn’t say anything). I think saying something along the lines of... hey there, haven’t seen you in awhile. It looks like you’ve been putting in a lot of hard work at the gym and you have some great results to show for it! (Could even throw in- hope I’m not coming off offensive, just wanted to applaud your hard work!
  • ReenieHJReenieHJ Member Posts: 8,002 Member Member Posts: 8,002 Member
    MaltedTea wrote: »
    *snip*
    I wanted to congratulate her because I’m too familiar with the effort in such a change, but I also felt strange doing so. I personally felt very encouraged by positive comments so I wanted to give praise but I didn’t want to make her feel awkward. .

    *snip*

    I think if you preface your compliment this way it would go a long way in reducing the awkwardness and increasing the sincerity.

    It's all quite sweet, really.

    Exactly this. I remember meeting a peer in the store one day and noticed she'd lost quite a bit of weight. I approached her somewhat like this. I simply told her that I was hoping it wasn't awkward or unkind of me in some way to notice that she'd lost a lot of weight and asked her how she did it. But see, I wouldn't be offended by someone mentioning it but it appears many would. So IDK. But I do think if you mention your awkwardness and hesitancy out right, she'd accept it much better.
    JMO

    TBO, I'd rather it be noticed than not noticed IIWM.
    Good luck :)
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