My Doctor Suggested Weight Loss Surgery

Good luck on your journey. You sound like a "serial starter" to me. No offense. But something in you, whether it's mental or self-sabotage, seems to get in your way when you succeed. You have succeeded before, to a certain extent. I hope you finally get over the hump this time.

There are many, many on here that have (and lost a lot of weight -- I lost 90 lbs and have added back 20 in muscle over 10 years). I'd encourage you to friend them, not the other serial starters that constantly fall on and off the app/site. Become friends with those that religiously track, every single day, and are brutally honest with themselves. Avoid people that put crap down like, "I had a cheat day, at a dozen cookies and a pint of ice cream". "Oh, was it good!". Oh well, tomorrow is another day... Friend people that take their weight loss serious and stick to it. I think that might make you more prone to stick with it.

This is going to sound mean, but there's circles of folks on this site that relish commiserating with other miserable, failed people at weight loss and love to take others down with them. They will sabotage you.

Perhaps Noom along with this for the mental aspect of weight loss, which is severely underestimated.

wunderkindking wrote: »

I agree with not friending other people who share your problems - at least not exclusively - and that includes overdoing and brushing it off.

But man, also don't go all or nothing about it. That is part of why people quit and fail.

That includes 'ate a pint of ice cream, throwing the whole week in the trash, may as well enjoy myself now!' and it's faternal twin "I'm being healthier now, no more cookies/eating out/food I really like a lot for me!" YOU ARE ALLOWED TO GO OVER ON CALORIES SOMETIMES. IT IS NOT A BIG DEAL UNTIL IT BECOMES A PATTERN OF BEHAVIOR.

We agree mostly. But the serial starters are usually the same ones that don't admit they went over for their day. They leave days off of calorie counting completely. And then usually say something to the extent of science denying, like "this isn't working for me...". "Oh, I'm the special flower that CICO doesn't work for...". When in reality, I wish they would put down the dozen cookies and half gallon of ice cream in their journal and get real.

For full disclosure, I don't log any longer. I did for like six years, every single flippin day, no days off.

Edit -- I'm not trying to be discouraging. If I had it to do all over, I wish someone would have told me to just log, every single day, for like a month. Don't worry about anything else.

Habits, not enthusiasm, is how you will get there. Habits happen better if you concentrate on changing just one thing, not two, certainly not 3, things at a time. Just religiously log all of your food for one month, weighing/measuring everything. Make that a habit that you will not compromise.

Then the second month, add in just one more thing (while retaining the habit of logging), like more movement -- 3 times a week.

The next month, rid yourself of all the calorie bombs (while doing the other two habits).

This is how success is built sustainably.

Can you do this after so many failures?

Yes. People do, and stay at a healthy weight long term. You can, too.

*Learn* from those previous attempts. IMO, more important than "What worked to lose weight" is "What went wrong that prevented sticking with it? What went wrong that prevented keeping the lost pounds off?"

Often, people only think about "how did I lose weight fast the last time" and not about the rest of it, and the rest of it is the more important part.

Hanging skin

Many people seem to expect this to be a worse problem than it often is, looking long (long!) term. It's common to look worse part way to goal weight. (We can get kind of floppy/squishy, with remaining fat areas conspiring with gravity to keep skin stretched.)

Once that fat depletes more fully, skin can *begin* to shrink, and that takes time, too. That means we may look worse at goal weight than we will some months/years down the road into maintaining the loss. At age 60, my loose skin kept shrinking at least into year 2 of maintenance.

Go take a look at before & after photos over in the Success Stories part of the MFP Community. In clothes, most people look pretty indistinguishable from always-thin people. In bathing suits, there may be some loose skin, but often less than you might expect. At most extreme, surgery remains an option. In most places, surgery is at one's own cost, unless the loose skin is so severe as to be causing medical problems. If you start saving now, you may be well on your way to affording surgery by the time you reach goal weight + 2 years maintenance, and if you don't need the surgery . . . take a nice vacation.

Commitment and focus

"Motivation", "determination" and "willpower" tend to be fleeting. There's a honeymoon period.

Use that honeymoon period to find ways to make it *easy* to eat so that you're a bit below your then-current maintenance calories: Figure out what's easy, tasty, appealing, nutritious, practical for you personally. Ignore fads. Past the experiments to find the right routine, don't do things you're not willing to do forever, except for that sensibly moderate calorie deficit.

Use that honeymoon period to experiment and find ways to move more in your life - things that are enjoyable enough that you'd do them even if they weren't good for you. Moving more isn't just formal exercise, it can be new hobbies, redecorating your home, active play with children, games that involve movement - doesn't matter, just move more every day.

Many people treat weight loss as a brutal, punitive project with and end date. Instead, consider treating it as an experiment in finding the easy, sustainable ways to move more and eat fewer calories *happily* and *easily* *forever*.

Can you make it a lifestyle?

Yes, if that's what you work toward explicitly and intentionally, rather than treating weight loss as a project with an end date, after which things "go back to normal".

I lost from class 1 obese to a healthy weight back in 2015-16 using MFP, at age 59-60. I'd been overweight to obese for about 3 decades. I'm now 65, and have been at a healthy weight for 5+ years now.

You can do this, absolutely.

Wishing you much success!

you are doing AMAZING.

and as someone who has lost 192 pounds since 2014 (and counting)....without surgery. you CAN do this. I promise!

And with only 40 some pounds to go, so far no loose skin. That could change, but so far so good.