This isn't a dating app...

Sorry, I couldn't resist. You could always block the people sending you those messages. I know it doesn't solve the problem but it's probably your best option.

JustMomming wrote: »

Please stop. Most of us here are interested in motivation and support for our health/wellness/fitness goals. Tinder is one download away -->

honestly, I think you are making an assumption that may be incorrect when you say that "most of us".

There are some people here who are indeed looking for motivation and support for their goals, but there are also some who are here for relationships with like minded individuals. That's why there are different areas in the forums - some for motivation and support, advice, debate and success posts, and others for chitchat, fun and games.

When it comes to forums, if you look at recent posts, you'll see a LOT of chitchat... which seems to point to me that many people are here for connection, and lots of it is flirty. For some people, they have worked hard to get to where they are and they want to flaunt it, and many are looking for a connection with someone who is like minded. Lots of relationships have been formed in this site. (Some have remained. lol)

If you are solely looking for support / motivation, then I'd suggest friend requesting people on those types of boards and stating what type of interactions you're looking for. Make your boundaries clearly known on your wall and delete anyone who takes it somewhere you don't want to go.

Otherwise, just ignore the feeds you don't like. Lots of people enjoy them.

Agree that it's common for people to flirt in Chit-Chat or Fun & Games, people who don't want that interaction probably ought to just stay out of there, because this is a site for adults, and those are the areas for lighter interactions.

I rarely see out-of-the-blue inappropriate comments on serious threads in other parts of the Community, and if really inappropriate, flag/report-ing them (with a note to the mods) usually makes them go away. Hijacking a thread in a off-topic way is against the documented rules, technically (even if not flirtatious).

I absolutely agree that it's ridiculous and inappropriate that a few men send FRs, then follow up with inappropriate PMs, when the woman who's a target has done absolutely zero to invite flirtation. They should be reported, period. There have even been some serial phishers here. (Example: Guy who's shown up multiple times with different accounts, pretends to be widower with a couple of kids, tries to lure women into . . . well, it isn't good.)

Those few guys ruin the friend side of MFP for some women, *and* for decent men, IMO.

I still accept FRs from men, but not from men with completely private profiles, no Community history; or a profile that shows *only* female friends with pretty or fit-looking profile photos. Probably some of those are decent guys, but it's just not worth the risk of inappropriate, unwelcome, unsolicited flirtatious . . . even harassing or worse . . . PMs. There's no excuse. None.

Fellow females: Always, always report bad behavior to the moderators or the Community team staffers at MFP. I'm convinced they do want to weed out unsolicited flirtatious (or worse) nonsense, keep this a safe-feeling and welcoming place for all. By reporting the baddies (not just blocking/ignoring), we can each help insulate other women from bad experiences. You can find IDs for the Community team and mods at the link below, and - even though PMs are generally blocked for people who aren't MFP friends - you can PM the MFP staffers on the Community team without being official friends with them.

https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10028709/meet-our-community-team#latest

If some women want to flirt (or more), that's fine. But the rest of us are not obligated to play that game, shouldn't be exposed to it without having given any kind of hint that it's welcome. A cute/pretty/flattering/fit profile photo alone is *not* such a hint.

springlering62 wrote: »

I’ve gotten several canned private messages lately that sound very similar, and with -can’t quite put my finger on why- potentially English not their first language.

I figure they’re catfishing for money or a visa.

And as @TayaCurragh so intuitively puts it, they think women with weight issues (or user names that proclaim their age) are easy targets.

One of these days I’m going to reply with “oh hey there! I’m sitting here naked eating cookies and chocolates and checking my investments. Want some nude pics of my 59 year old *kitten*?”

Even some native English speakers are troglodytes, IME. They may even be over-represented among those randomly seeking thrills from women who've given no hint of interest in that sort of thing.

Or . . . it's a well known thing in the world of computer security (social engineering branch) that scammers fishing for marks sometimes dumb down their appeals, as a way to screen out analytical people, zero in on some who may be more vulnerable.

It's tempting to create an MFP good-gal-type phishing profile, with a cute profile photo, try to flush out those idiots . . . but that would be against the rules.

Amusingly, the technical term for a tempting scam, mounted by good folks to catch bad folks, is a "honeypot". 🤣

Agree! I don’t mind the mild flirting on the appropriate forums, and I don’t even mind if people are connecting to form relationships if both parties are agreeable, but I get way too many creepy pms from people who I thought were friend requesting for the purpose of supporting Fitness goals. I wouldn’t even mind if the messages were more respectful, I could see people wanting to connect over a shared interest, but they are are downright creepy in most instances. Don’t do it!!!

YellowD0gs wrote: »

AnnPT77 wrote: »

Agree that it's common for people to flirt in Chit-Chat or Fun & Games, people who don't want that interaction probably ought to just stay out of there, because this is a site for adults, and those are the areas for lighter interactions.

I rarely see out-of-the-blue inappropriate comments on serious threads in other parts of the Community, and if really inappropriate, flag/report-ing them (with a note to the mods) usually makes them go away. Hijacking a thread in a off-topic way is against the documented rules, technically (even if not flirtatious).

I absolutely agree that it's ridiculous and inappropriate that a few men send FRs, then follow up with inappropriate PMs, when the woman who's a target has done absolutely zero to invite flirtation. They should be reported, period. There have even been some serial phishers here. (Example: Guy who's shown up multiple times with different accounts, pretends to be widower with a couple of kids, tries to lure women into . . . well, it isn't good.)

Those few guys ruin the friend side of MFP for some women, *and* for decent men, IMO.

I still accept FRs from men, but not from men with completely private profiles, no Community history; or a profile that shows *only* female friends with pretty or fit-looking profile photos. Probably some of those are decent guys, but it's just not worth the risk of inappropriate, unwelcome, unsolicited flirtatious . . . even harassing or worse . . . PMs. There's no excuse. None.

Fellow females: Always, always report bad behavior to the moderators or the Community team staffers at MFP. I'm convinced they do want to weed out unsolicited flirtatious (or worse) nonsense, keep this a safe-feeling and welcoming place for all. By reporting the baddies (not just blocking/ignoring), we can each help insulate other women from bad experiences. You can find IDs for the Community team and mods at the link below, and - even though PMs are generally blocked for people who aren't MFP friends - you can PM the MFP staffers on the Community team without being official friends with them.

https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10028709/meet-our-community-team#latest

If some women want to flirt (or more), that's fine. But the rest of us are not obligated to play that game, shouldn't be exposed to it without having given any kind of hint that it's welcome. A cute/pretty/flattering/fit profile photo alone is *not* such a hint.

And yet, there's a whole thread devoted to women doing this very same thing. Over 250 pages of complaints and commentary, and still going! Yes, they're hookers and hackers, but yeah, it's only the men's fault.

Right...

Why is there always that one jerk who shows up to NOT ALL MEN!!!! in these discussions. No, it's not all men. Yes women can be creepy too. Come back to me when you're not talking to a woman about her actual personal experiences with actual men being creeps - and trying to invalidate it.

Welcome to the public forum. Where you'l get a mixture of creeps and good people. You just have to filter out the bad ones.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

wunderkindking wrote: »

ninerbuff wrote: »

Welcome to the public forum. Where you'l get a mixture of creeps and good people. You just have to filter out the bad ones.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

I mean yeah.

But I participate in a lot of public forums, with a lot of people participating.

The concentration of creeps being overtly sexual in unsolicited ways here is higher than *almost* anywhere else. It is very, very weird and obnoxious and generally unpleasant.

Maybe because they're on keto?


A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition