This isn't a dating app...
Options
JustMomming
Posts: 5 Member
Please stop. Most of us here are interested in motivation and support for our health/wellness/fitness goals. Tinder is one download away -->
22
Replies
-
Sorry, I couldn't resist. You could always block the people sending you those messages. I know it doesn't solve the problem but it's probably your best option.18 -
BendableButMendable wrote: »
Sorry, I couldn't resist. You could always block the people sending you those messages. I know it doesn't solve the problem but it's probably your best option.
Reporting inappropriate comments and messages is a good tactic too.9 -
Sigh. Why do men?3
-
I've seen a few ladies on here post similar. Sorry you have to deal with it. I'm not sure what people are thinking or how in their head that is going to end for them. Maybe they think women like creepy guys who troll weight loss forums. The dating scene sure has changed since I was part of it.8
-
JustMomming wrote: »Please stop. Most of us here are interested in motivation and support for our health/wellness/fitness goals. Tinder is one download away -->
honestly, I think you are making an assumption that may be incorrect when you say that "most of us".
There are some people here who are indeed looking for motivation and support for their goals, but there are also some who are here for relationships with like minded individuals. That's why there are different areas in the forums - some for motivation and support, advice, debate and success posts, and others for chitchat, fun and games.
When it comes to forums, if you look at recent posts, you'll see a LOT of chitchat... which seems to point to me that many people are here for connection, and lots of it is flirty. For some people, they have worked hard to get to where they are and they want to flaunt it, and many are looking for a connection with someone who is like minded. Lots of relationships have been formed in this site. (Some have remained. lol)
If you are solely looking for support / motivation, then I'd suggest friend requesting people on those types of boards and stating what type of interactions you're looking for. Make your boundaries clearly known on your wall and delete anyone who takes it somewhere you don't want to go.
Otherwise, just ignore the feeds you don't like. Lots of people enjoy them.
22 -
I think it depends whether OP means the forums or personal messages.
I no longer accept friend requests from men, because of the amount of creepy and inappropriate messages I got in the past. Some of the messages gave me the distinct feeling they are looking to take advantage of the potential emotional vulnerability that wanting to lose weight could bring. It's a shame but I don't really interact with friends privately anyway, that's what I use the forums for.15 -
TayaCurragh wrote: »I think it depends whether OP means the forums or personal messages.
I no longer accept friend requests from men, because of the amount of creepy and inappropriate messages I got in the past. Some of the messages gave me the distinct feeling they are looking to take advantage of the potential emotional vulnerability that wanting to lose weight could bring. It's a shame but I don't really interact with friends privately anyway, that's what I use the forums for.
I am stopping accepting unsolicited friend requests for the same reason.4 -
KickassAmazon76 wrote: »JustMomming wrote: »Please stop. Most of us here are interested in motivation and support for our health/wellness/fitness goals. Tinder is one download away -->
honestly, I think you are making an assumption that may be incorrect when you say that "most of us".
There are some people here who are indeed looking for motivation and support for their goals, but there are also some who are here for relationships with like minded individuals. That's why there are different areas in the forums - some for motivation and support, advice, debate and success posts, and others for chitchat, fun and games.
When it comes to forums, if you look at recent posts, you'll see a LOT of chitchat... which seems to point to me that many people are here for connection, and lots of it is flirty. For some people, they have worked hard to get to where they are and they want to flaunt it, and many are looking for a connection with someone who is like minded. Lots of relationships have been formed in this site. (Some have remained. lol)
If you are solely looking for support / motivation, then I'd suggest friend requesting people on those types of boards and stating what type of interactions you're looking for. Make your boundaries clearly known on your wall and delete anyone who takes it somewhere you don't want to go.
Otherwise, just ignore the feeds you don't like. Lots of people enjoy them.
OK, but MFP is still categorically not a dating site. OP isn't wrong.10 -
Agree that it's common for people to flirt in Chit-Chat or Fun & Games, people who don't want that interaction probably ought to just stay out of there, because this is a site for adults, and those are the areas for lighter interactions.
I rarely see out-of-the-blue inappropriate comments on serious threads in other parts of the Community, and if really inappropriate, flag/report-ing them (with a note to the mods) usually makes them go away. Hijacking a thread in a off-topic way is against the documented rules, technically (even if not flirtatious).
I absolutely agree that it's ridiculous and inappropriate that a few men send FRs, then follow up with inappropriate PMs, when the woman who's a target has done absolutely zero to invite flirtation. They should be reported, period. There have even been some serial phishers here. (Example: Guy who's shown up multiple times with different accounts, pretends to be widower with a couple of kids, tries to lure women into . . . well, it isn't good.)
Those few guys ruin the friend side of MFP for some women, *and* for decent men, IMO.
I still accept FRs from men, but not from men with completely private profiles, no Community history; or a profile that shows *only* female friends with pretty or fit-looking profile photos. Probably some of those are decent guys, but it's just not worth the risk of inappropriate, unwelcome, unsolicited flirtatious . . . even harassing or worse . . . PMs. There's no excuse. None.
Fellow females: Always, always report bad behavior to the moderators or the Community team staffers at MFP. I'm convinced they do want to weed out unsolicited flirtatious (or worse) nonsense, keep this a safe-feeling and welcoming place for all. By reporting the baddies (not just blocking/ignoring), we can each help insulate other women from bad experiences. You can find IDs for the Community team and mods at the link below, and - even though PMs are generally blocked for people who aren't MFP friends - you can PM the MFP staffers on the Community team without being official friends with them.
https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10028709/meet-our-community-team#latest
If some women want to flirt (or more), that's fine. But the rest of us are not obligated to play that game, shouldn't be exposed to it without having given any kind of hint that it's welcome. A cute/pretty/flattering/fit profile photo alone is *not* such a hint.12 -
I’ve gotten several canned private messages lately that sound very similar, and with -can’t quite put my finger on why- potentially English not their first language.
I figure they’re catfishing for money or a visa.
And as @TayaCurragh so intuitively puts it, they think women with weight issues (or user names that proclaim their age) are easy targets.
One of these days I’m going to reply with “oh hey there! I’m sitting here naked eating cookies and chocolates and checking my investments. Want some nude pics of my 59 year old *kitten*?”
20 -
springlering62 wrote: »I’ve gotten several canned private messages lately that sound very similar, and with -can’t quite put my finger on why- potentially English not their first language.
I figure they’re catfishing for money or a visa.
And as @TayaCurragh so intuitively puts it, they think women with weight issues (or user names that proclaim their age) are easy targets.
One of these days I’m going to reply with “oh hey there! I’m sitting here naked eating cookies and chocolates and checking my investments. Want some nude pics of my 59 year old *kitten*?”
Even some native English speakers are troglodytes, IME. They may even be over-represented among those randomly seeking thrills from women who've given no hint of interest in that sort of thing.
Or . . . it's a well known thing in the world of computer security (social engineering branch) that scammers fishing for marks sometimes dumb down their appeals, as a way to screen out analytical people, zero in on some who may be more vulnerable.
It's tempting to create an MFP good-gal-type phishing profile, with a cute profile photo, try to flush out those idiots . . . but that would be against the rules.
Amusingly, the technical term for a tempting scam, mounted by good folks to catch bad folks, is a "honeypot". 🤣5 -
Even I have had a private message from an apparently male bodied person asking where I live and what I like to do for fun. And I’ve only been here just over two months. My profile pic and name are not personally identifying for good reason
I am here to work on my weight and fitness, and a little socialization with like minded folks. PG rated socializing. I am definitely not here for dating. I have enough men in my life with my husband and my boyfriend. I definitely don’t need some random internet romance scam.12 -
Agree! I don’t mind the mild flirting on the appropriate forums, and I don’t even mind if people are connecting to form relationships if both parties are agreeable, but I get way too many creepy pms from people who I thought were friend requesting for the purpose of supporting Fitness goals. I wouldn’t even mind if the messages were more respectful, I could see people wanting to connect over a shared interest, but they are are downright creepy in most instances. Don’t do it!!!5
-
Agree that it's common for people to flirt in Chit-Chat or Fun & Games, people who don't want that interaction probably ought to just stay out of there, because this is a site for adults, and those are the areas for lighter interactions.
I rarely see out-of-the-blue inappropriate comments on serious threads in other parts of the Community, and if really inappropriate, flag/report-ing them (with a note to the mods) usually makes them go away. Hijacking a thread in a off-topic way is against the documented rules, technically (even if not flirtatious).
I absolutely agree that it's ridiculous and inappropriate that a few men send FRs, then follow up with inappropriate PMs, when the woman who's a target has done absolutely zero to invite flirtation. They should be reported, period. There have even been some serial phishers here. (Example: Guy who's shown up multiple times with different accounts, pretends to be widower with a couple of kids, tries to lure women into . . . well, it isn't good.)
Those few guys ruin the friend side of MFP for some women, *and* for decent men, IMO.
I still accept FRs from men, but not from men with completely private profiles, no Community history; or a profile that shows *only* female friends with pretty or fit-looking profile photos. Probably some of those are decent guys, but it's just not worth the risk of inappropriate, unwelcome, unsolicited flirtatious . . . even harassing or worse . . . PMs. There's no excuse. None.
Fellow females: Always, always report bad behavior to the moderators or the Community team staffers at MFP. I'm convinced they do want to weed out unsolicited flirtatious (or worse) nonsense, keep this a safe-feeling and welcoming place for all. By reporting the baddies (not just blocking/ignoring), we can each help insulate other women from bad experiences. You can find IDs for the Community team and mods at the link below, and - even though PMs are generally blocked for people who aren't MFP friends - you can PM the MFP staffers on the Community team without being official friends with them.
https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10028709/meet-our-community-team#latest
If some women want to flirt (or more), that's fine. But the rest of us are not obligated to play that game, shouldn't be exposed to it without having given any kind of hint that it's welcome. A cute/pretty/flattering/fit profile photo alone is *not* such a hint.
And yet, there's a whole thread devoted to women doing this very same thing. Over 250 pages of complaints and commentary, and still going! Yes, they're hookers and hackers, but yeah, it's only the men's fault.
Right...
4 -
YellowD0gs wrote: »Agree that it's common for people to flirt in Chit-Chat or Fun & Games, people who don't want that interaction probably ought to just stay out of there, because this is a site for adults, and those are the areas for lighter interactions.
I rarely see out-of-the-blue inappropriate comments on serious threads in other parts of the Community, and if really inappropriate, flag/report-ing them (with a note to the mods) usually makes them go away. Hijacking a thread in a off-topic way is against the documented rules, technically (even if not flirtatious).
I absolutely agree that it's ridiculous and inappropriate that a few men send FRs, then follow up with inappropriate PMs, when the woman who's a target has done absolutely zero to invite flirtation. They should be reported, period. There have even been some serial phishers here. (Example: Guy who's shown up multiple times with different accounts, pretends to be widower with a couple of kids, tries to lure women into . . . well, it isn't good.)
Those few guys ruin the friend side of MFP for some women, *and* for decent men, IMO.
I still accept FRs from men, but not from men with completely private profiles, no Community history; or a profile that shows *only* female friends with pretty or fit-looking profile photos. Probably some of those are decent guys, but it's just not worth the risk of inappropriate, unwelcome, unsolicited flirtatious . . . even harassing or worse . . . PMs. There's no excuse. None.
Fellow females: Always, always report bad behavior to the moderators or the Community team staffers at MFP. I'm convinced they do want to weed out unsolicited flirtatious (or worse) nonsense, keep this a safe-feeling and welcoming place for all. By reporting the baddies (not just blocking/ignoring), we can each help insulate other women from bad experiences. You can find IDs for the Community team and mods at the link below, and - even though PMs are generally blocked for people who aren't MFP friends - you can PM the MFP staffers on the Community team without being official friends with them.
https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10028709/meet-our-community-team#latest
If some women want to flirt (or more), that's fine. But the rest of us are not obligated to play that game, shouldn't be exposed to it without having given any kind of hint that it's welcome. A cute/pretty/flattering/fit profile photo alone is *not* such a hint.
And yet, there's a whole thread devoted to women doing this very same thing. Over 250 pages of complaints and commentary, and still going! Yes, they're hookers and hackers, but yeah, it's only the men's fault.
Right...
Why is there always that one jerk who shows up to NOT ALL MEN!!!! in these discussions. No, it's not all men. Yes women can be creepy too. Come back to me when you're not talking to a woman about her actual personal experiences with actual men being creeps - and trying to invalidate it.11 -
I have accepted some friends requests from guys but I've also had to ditch some of them very quickly for absolutely horrifying behavior.
either in PMs directly or watching them show up, post lots of body shots, and then have 'their wife cheat' and immediately seek comfort from women they have friended and request 'pms'. Then the fall out of THAT.
Dude, no. That's not transparent at ALL.
Flirting is fine, connecting is fine, heck I don't care what any consenting adults do. Follow your bliss. Unsolicited PMs with graphic messages and lying both are not 'consenting adults', it's creepy, it's upsetting, STOP IT.7 -
-
I mean yeah.
But I participate in a lot of public forums, with a lot of people participating.
The concentration of creeps being overtly sexual in unsolicited ways here is higher than *almost* anywhere else. It is very, very weird and obnoxious and generally unpleasant.3 -
wunderkindking wrote: »
I mean yeah.
But I participate in a lot of public forums, with a lot of people participating.
The concentration of creeps being overtly sexual in unsolicited ways here is higher than *almost* anywhere else. It is very, very weird and obnoxious and generally unpleasant.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
13 -
I agree! I have had a really good experience with MFP with most guys being very respectful and nice. I know you shouldn't have to, but might I suggest a picture like this...
instead of a sexy selfie. I put a not so sexy selfie showing half my body one time and got 3 times as many odd friend requests. Also this is my About me on my profile, haha
About Me:
I've lost most of the weight that I wanted to lose in July! Now I'm using the food diary mostly as a meal planner and to store recipes. I try to plan all my dinners for the week on Sundays.
(Nothing personal, but the private messaging is a bit weird on here, and so I usually don't respond to the private messages on this site. However, I do appreciate any friend requests.)
Turkey Salsa Thyme Bowl
*******************************
Reduced fat ranch dressing (1 tbsp)
Hot sauce, to taste
turkey (3 ounces)
shredded cheese
pico de gallo
shredded lettuce
All over wild rice
with olive oil and thyme
2
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 391.4K Introduce Yourself
- 43.5K Getting Started
- 259.7K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.6K Food and Nutrition
- 47.3K Recipes
- 232.3K Fitness and Exercise
- 389 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.4K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 152.7K Motivation and Support
- 7.8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.2K MyFitnessPal Information
- 22 News and Announcements
- 919 Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.3K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions