This isn't a dating app...
Replies
-
Maybe because they're on keto?wunderkindking wrote: »Welcome to the public forum. Where you'l get a mixture of creeps and good people. You just have to filter out the bad ones.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
I mean yeah.
But I participate in a lot of public forums, with a lot of people participating.
The concentration of creeps being overtly sexual in unsolicited ways here is higher than *almost* anywhere else. It is very, very weird and obnoxious and generally unpleasant.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
You're my favorite for that!2 -
I really hope this doesn’t come across as an attempt at “mansplaining” but I did want to offer my perspective from the male point of view.
If you choose to post a “less sexy” (quotes because it’s very subjective) profile photo you may be able to reduce the amount of unwanted advances you get, but you shouldn’t have to and I really doubt it would make much of a difference anyway. I like to think of myself as a respectful and polite person, but I have had countless male friends, classmates, coworkers, teammates, etc. that didn’t care one bit how their actions or advances made a woman feel. That kind of guy is incredibly creative when it comes to this. If you post about feeling less than attractive they will think “I’ll make them feel beautiful and that will be my way in”. If you post about feeling depressed they’ll think comforting you is the way in. If you post about feeling vulnerable (financially, family issues, etc.) they will think making you feel safe and offering support is the way to get what they want. I don’t think I’ve said anything that any woman on this thread doesn’t already know, but my point is that it is intentional for that kind of guy and how far do you really want to go to adapt yourself to their behavior?
I had a hockey teammate years ago who would solely go after married women who were having trouble at home because he didn’t have a lot to offer a woman in terms of conventional dating. I had another teammate who always went after young women fresh out of high school (he was mid/late twenties) who struggled with their weight and had low self esteem. Please note that I did not call either of those people my friend. It’s gross behavior and it shouldn’t happen, but it does and will continue to happen for the foreseeable future.
I guess the point I’m trying to make is this; the men out there who, like myself, try to treat people (not just women) with kindness and empathy need to call out that behavior when we see it. I can tell you that I tried, but my success rate at getting someone to change was exactly zero. My recommendation for the women out there is not to try to change your approach to deter that kind of attention (you won’t be able to change enough to put a stop to it anyway), but rather ignore it when you can (i.e. no risk of harm to yourself or others) and report it when you can’t. And it is all of our jobs, as a society, to work together to try and put an end to it. And I don’t mean that to insinuate that women bear any responsibility for it happening to them, only that it will take the collective effort of all of us to make a dent in it.
And for any men out there who feel unfairly blamed for it, I get it, it sucks. But it’s also reasonable. I’m relatively new to posting in these forums but when I started there were several people who were compassionate and empathetic enough to my situation to send me friend requests, all of them happened to be women. That’s too small of a sample size to make any concrete conclusion about compassion and empathy between the sexes but it’s enough to make me worry. At any rate, I have since sent two of those new friends PMs and I was terrified to do so. Partly because I’ve been a shut-in for years, but mostly because I’m some random guy on the internet sending a woman an unsolicited message. I started messaging one because her posts on the thread I started made me think she needed someone to reach out and show her kindness and the other because she listed a very interesting job in her profile and I thought it would be interesting to talk about. Neither conversation had anything to do with anything romantic, but I was still stepping on eggshells just because internet culture has made interactions like that a minefield. The internet has removed the social consequences those men experience from approaching a woman like that in person, so they treat it like a numbers game. And yes, women are guilty of this as well. I have been crudely propositioned by women I expressed no interest in and I’ve had women refuse to take no for an answer (not on this site), but on a relative scale it is nothing in comparison to the way a lot of men behave.
I’m enough of a misanthrope that I don’t honestly believe it will ever fully stop, and I think it will always be bad on the internet as long as people can continue to use it anonymously. But we have to try to make it better where we can. We just have to find a way to convince people that everyone is deserving of compassion and kindness regardless of our differences or what we stand to gain as an individual, should be easy enough...
Sorry, I have a habit of getting rather verbose when I post on this site. I’m trying to work on it.
20 -
MargaretYakoda wrote: »Yes, I understand that in an ideal world "the message in the OP “don’t do that”
Which is valid" would work...However, realistically you will get a lot less attention with a less sexy profile picture. Try it yourself! Common sense.. So if it truly bothers you and you'd rather not get all the attention, then put less sexiness out there. If you like your sexy selfie, nothing wrong with that, be yourself and embrace your sexiness online. Just accept that this is a public website and all kinds of people are going to see it and respond to what you display.
“People know what they do; frequently they know why they do what they do; but what they don't know is what what they do does.”
― Michel Foucault, Madness and Civilization: A History of Insanity in the Age of ReasonMargaretYakoda wrote: »I agree! I have had a really good experience with MFP with most guys being very respectful and nice. I know you shouldn't have to, but might I suggest a picture like this...
instead of a sexy selfie. I put a not so sexy selfie showing half my body one time and got 3 times as many odd friend requests. Also this is my About me on my profile, haha
About Me:
I've lost most of the weight that I wanted to lose in July! Now I'm using the food diary mostly as a meal planner and to store recipes. I try to plan all my dinners for the week on Sundays.
(Nothing personal, but the private messaging is a bit weird on here, and so I usually don't respond to the private messages on this site. However, I do appreciate any friend requests.)
Turkey Salsa Thyme Bowl
*******************************
Reduced fat ranch dressing (1 tbsp)
Hot sauce, to taste
turkey (3 ounces)
shredded cheese
pico de gallo
shredded lettuce
All over wild rice
with olive oil and thymeWelcome to the public forum. Where you'l get a mixture of creeps and good people. You just have to filter out the bad ones.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
The behavior has nothing to do with what profile picture we choose.
This is all on the people who decide to message people inappropriately.
And the message in the OP is “don’t do that”
Which is valid.
Uhhhh…. My current profile pic is a cartoon cat.
My previous profile pic was the Autigender Pride flag.
And even if my profile pic was naked boobies, the onus is on the creeper not to act like a creeper.
(Pic of naked boobies included for emphasis)
Agree entirely!
Mine profile pic is my bare back and I haven't gotten any inappropriate PMs... Why? Well partly because I don't typically accept any more friend requests, and you cannot PM non friends anymore. My current friends know my boundaries, and they also know if they cross them, they'll get called out on it. This is a fitness site. People are allowed to share their fitness success as long as it fits the terms of the site.
My profile pic does not excuse any inappropriate behaviour. Period.
Thankfully, I don't get much, at all. ❤️6 -
BendableButMendable wrote: »I really hope this doesn’t come across as an attempt at “mansplaining” but I did want to offer my perspective from the male point of view.
If you choose to post a “less sexy” (quotes because it’s very subjective) profile photo you may be able to reduce the amount of unwanted advances you get, but you shouldn’t have to and I really doubt it would make much of a difference anyway. I like to think of myself as a respectful and polite person, but I have had countless male friends, classmates, coworkers, teammates, etc. that didn’t care one bit how their actions or advances made a woman feel. That kind of guy is incredibly creative when it comes to this. If you post about feeling less than attractive they will think “I’ll make them feel beautiful and that will be my way in”. If you post about feeling depressed they’ll think comforting you is the way in. If you post about feeling vulnerable (financially, family issues, etc.) they will think making you feel safe and offering support is the way to get what they want. I don’t think I’ve said anything that any woman on this thread doesn’t already know, but my point is that it is intentional for that kind of guy and how far do you really want to go to adapt yourself to their behavior?
I had a hockey teammate years ago who would solely go after married women who were having trouble at home because he didn’t have a lot to offer a woman in terms of conventional dating. I had another teammate who always went after young women fresh out of high school (he was mid/late twenties) who struggled with their weight and had low self esteem. Please note that I did not call either of those people my friend. It’s gross behavior and it shouldn’t happen, but it does and will continue to happen for the foreseeable future.
I guess the point I’m trying to make is this; the men out there who, like myself, try to treat people (not just women) with kindness and empathy need to call out that behavior when we see it. I can tell you that I tried, but my success rate at getting someone to change was exactly zero. My recommendation for the women out there is not to try to change your approach to deter that kind of attention (you won’t be able to change enough to put a stop to it anyway), but rather ignore it when you can (i.e. no risk of harm to yourself or others) and report it when you can’t. And it is all of our jobs, as a society, to work together to try and put an end to it. And I don’t mean that to insinuate that women bear any responsibility for it happening to them, only that it will take the collective effort of all of us to make a dent in it.
And for any men out there who feel unfairly blamed for it, I get it, it sucks. But it’s also reasonable. I’m relatively new to posting in these forums but when I started there were several people who were compassionate and empathetic enough to my situation to send me friend requests, all of them happened to be women. That’s too small of a sample size to make any concrete conclusion about compassion and empathy between the sexes but it’s enough to make me worry. At any rate, I have since sent two of those new friends PMs and I was terrified to do so. Partly because I’ve been a shut-in for years, but mostly because I’m some random guy on the internet sending a woman an unsolicited message. I started messaging one because her posts on the thread I started made me think she needed someone to reach out and show her kindness and the other because she listed a very interesting job in her profile and I thought it would be interesting to talk about. Neither conversation had anything to do with anything romantic, but I was still stepping on eggshells just because internet culture has made interactions like that a minefield. The internet has removed the social consequences those men experience from approaching a woman like that in person, so they treat it like a numbers game. And yes, woman are guilty of this as well. I have been crudely propositioned by women I expressed no interest in and I’ve had women refuse to take no for an answer (not on this site), but on a relative scale it is nothing in comparison to the way a lot of men behave.
I’m enough of a misanthrope that I don’t honestly believe it will ever fully stop, and I think it will always be bad on the internet as long as people can continue to use it anonymously. But we have to try to make it better where we can. We just have to find a way to convince people that everyone is deserving of compassion and kindness regardless of our differences or what we stand to gain as individual, should be easy enough...
Sorry, I have a habit of getting rather verbose when I post on this site. I’m trying to work on it.
I think that makes complete sense. Laudable, even. I agree that shifting culture in better directions requires collective efforts, over time.
I find it abhorrent when women behave badly, too: I figure it makes me and other women look bad, possibly makes life more difficult for us, depending on the details. It sounds like you're feeling similarly about badly-behaved men. (BTW: This isn't just a sex/gender issue; I feel the same way when (for example) other vegetarians use unscientific nonsense to try to persuade omnivores to stop eating meat. It just makes the rest of us look bad, turns some omnivores off to the whole concept. And so forth.)
I can't speak for you or your female MFP friends, nor for any other women on MFP, but I do get unsolicited messages from male MFP friends that are fine with me, that I enjoy reading and responding to, about things of common interest. On my MFP profile page, it says I do read and answer PMs from friends but " . . . if your private messages will be . . . things you wouldn't say in church in front of your wife/GF and all your friends/neighbors . . . we can't be friends. Don't even try."8 -
I find it abhorrent when women behave badly, too: I figure it makes me and other women look bad, possibly makes life more difficult for us, depending on the details. It sounds like you're feeling similarly about badly-behaved men. (BTW: This isn't just a sex/gender issue; I feel the same way when (for example) other vegetarians use unscientific nonsense to try to persuade omnivores to stop eating meat. It just makes the rest of us look bad, turns some omnivores off to the whole concept. And so forth.)
I'm definitely tired of dealing with the blow-back from men that behave that way. I used to have a coworker that I had almost no work overlap with but we seemed to enjoy each other's company and would sit and have lunch together whenever we had the chance. After a couple months of eating our lunches together she asked me if I had any plans for the weekend. I told her I was planning on taking a motorcycle ride up the canyon to grab lunch at a restaurant. She replied with "Ooh that sounds like fun" to which I said "You're welcome to come along if you want", those are exact quotes, I promise I'm not editorializing. At that point she hastily gathered her half eaten lunch, said we could hang out in groups but not one on one while staring at the table, and speed-walked away. Needless to say I was pretty surprised by that reaction. Looking back on it I think that response probably had nothing to do with me and it's more likely that some traumatic past encounter(s) conditioned her to respond that way. As I said before that is perfectly reasonable, but it was still painful. Handling rejection is one thing but handling revulsion is something else entirely. That definitely made me have a pretty low opinion of myself for a while. I don't blame her at all and I'm sure there was no malice in her response, but the fact that she had experienced something(s) in her life that led to it makes me sad for the world.
And as a vegetarian for the last 24 years I know what you mean. This same issue can be applied to any number of problems in society. I just wish people would be more aware of the impact their actions have on others. If we could increase that awareness it would be a huge step in the right direction.7 -
that advice is perilously close to "what were you wearing?" It should not be necessary to change one's profile photo from a normal photo of a normal woman wearing things that it's legal and decent to wear in public, in order to avoid rude, unwelcome come-ons. Looking nice in one's profile photo is not a solicitation of inappropriate messages. The focus needs to be on the people who are behaving badly."
I thought about that when I said it, which is why I said* I know you shouldn't have to* I'm all for truth, though...it's good to be honest with yourself and think about why you do what you do.
As long as the advice is given to avoid certain clothes, poses, hair colors, hemlines, or etc - even with the qualification “I know you shouldn’t have to” - then it leaves room to blame the victim.
I haven’t mentioned it on this forum yet, but the one thing that was a key factor in my stopping my previous effort at weight loss was my chemistry professor who happened also to be my work study boss.
Long story. Won’t detail all of it here. Suffice it to say it was bad.
But I was returning to school. Trying to finish my degree. I had been getting fit and losing weight for some time. I was looking great. Really. I was 46, and about 160. Not that far from my goal.
The things he did, well…. When I found out he was doing the same to others (and, it turned out, worse) I reported him. And then I got the full force of rumors and the school and their lawyers. It was an absolute nightmare, that went on for a long time.
He even used the fact that I am well endowed and had the nerve to wear a sweater I purchased at Costco to “prove” to others what a “party girl” I was.
When all I was doing was attending class, cleaning lab equipment, setting up experiments for students, and occasionally grading papers (which I later found out I should never have been doing) That sweater showed exactly one inch of cleavage.
An inch…. And was brown and otherwise quite boring.
For the record, I am not, and never have been, a party girl. But there is nothing wrong with that if it’s truly consensual.
My point here is it doesn’t matter what you wear, the creepers will say it was a signal you wanted to (insert adult activity here)
So please. Keep the emphasis on the creeper’s behavior. Because someone could be wearing a head to toe covering and creepers will always say “They led me on! They wanted it!”
Don’t let them have even that much to hang on to.
It’s always always always the creeper’s behavior that is the problem. Always.9 -
i get very few messages of the unwanted variety.
BUT...
my personality on here (as in real life) is very no nonsense and very secure in who I am, very point blank in that I am VERY happily married, I avoid the flirty forums/threads/discussions, dont post overly personal photos on the forums or as profile pics, etc. and will quickly delete/block unwanted messages or 'friends' who have been added that I then determine i should NOT have added. I just dont have time for that bs.
I am also 'older' per most standards, anyway, and that is just fine by me LOL5 -
I understand what you're saying, but I think it's a bit of a stretch to compare changing a myfitnesspal profile pic to avoid unwanted attention and blaming our appearance in real life for actual sexual harassment or violence toward women. & Just because I'd suggest not flashing a bunch of hundred dollar bills in a bad neighborhood doesn't mean I'm blaming you for the crime rate there...MargaretYakoda wrote: »that advice is perilously close to "what were you wearing?" It should not be necessary to change one's profile photo from a normal photo of a normal woman wearing things that it's legal and decent to wear in public, in order to avoid rude, unwelcome come-ons. Looking nice in one's profile photo is not a solicitation of inappropriate messages. The focus needs to be on the people who are behaving badly."
I thought about that when I said it, which is why I said* I know you shouldn't have to* I'm all for truth, though...it's good to be honest with yourself and think about why you do what you do.
As long as the advice is given to avoid certain clothes, poses, hair colors, hemlines, or etc - even with the qualification “I know you shouldn’t have to” - then it leaves room to blame the victim.
I haven’t mentioned it on this forum yet, but the one thing that was a key factor in my stopping my previous effort at weight loss was my chemistry professor who happened also to be my work study boss.
Long story. Won’t detail all of it here. Suffice it to say it was bad.
But I was returning to school. Trying to finish my degree. I had been getting fit and losing weight for some time. I was looking great. Really. I was 46, and about 160. Not that far from my goal.
The things he did, well…. When I found out he was doing the same to others (and, it turned out, worse) I reported him. And then I got the full force of rumors and the school and their lawyers. It was an absolute nightmare, that went on for a long time.
He even used the fact that I am well endowed and had the nerve to wear a sweater I purchased at Costco to “prove” to others what a “party girl” I was.
When all I was doing was attending class, cleaning lab equipment, setting up experiments for students, and occasionally grading papers (which I later found out I should never have been doing) That sweater showed exactly one inch of cleavage.
An inch…. And was brown and otherwise quite boring.
For the record, I am not, and never have been, a party girl. But there is nothing wrong with that if it’s truly consensual.
My point here is it doesn’t matter what you wear, the creepers will say it was a signal you wanted to (insert adult activity here)
So please. Keep the emphasis on the creeper’s behavior. Because someone could be wearing a head to toe covering and creepers will always say “They led me on! They wanted it!”
Don’t let them have even that much to hang on to.
It’s always always always the creeper’s behavior that is the problem. Always.
0 -
I understand what you're saying, but I think it's a bit of a stretch to compare changing a myfitnesspal profile pic to avoid unwanted attention and blaming our appearance in real life for actual sexual harassment or violence toward women. & Just because I'd suggest not flashing a bunch of dollar bills in a bad neighborhood doesn't mean I'm blaming you for the crime rate there...MargaretYakoda wrote: »that advice is perilously close to "what were you wearing?" It should not be necessary to change one's profile photo from a normal photo of a normal woman wearing things that it's legal and decent to wear in public, in order to avoid rude, unwelcome come-ons. Looking nice in one's profile photo is not a solicitation of inappropriate messages. The focus needs to be on the people who are behaving badly."
I thought about that when I said it, which is why I said* I know you shouldn't have to* I'm all for truth, though...it's good to be honest with yourself and think about why you do what you do.
As long as the advice is given to avoid certain clothes, poses, hair colors, hemlines, or etc - even with the qualification “I know you shouldn’t have to” - then it leaves room to blame the victim.
I haven’t mentioned it on this forum yet, but the one thing that was a key factor in my stopping my previous effort at weight loss was my chemistry professor who happened also to be my work study boss.
Long story. Won’t detail all of it here. Suffice it to say it was bad.
But I was returning to school. Trying to finish my degree. I had been getting fit and losing weight for some time. I was looking great. Really. I was 46, and about 160. Not that far from my goal.
The things he did, well…. When I found out he was doing the same to others (and, it turned out, worse) I reported him. And then I got the full force of rumors and the school and their lawyers. It was an absolute nightmare, that went on for a long time.
He even used the fact that I am well endowed and had the nerve to wear a sweater I purchased at Costco to “prove” to others what a “party girl” I was.
When all I was doing was attending class, cleaning lab equipment, setting up experiments for students, and occasionally grading papers (which I later found out I should never have been doing) That sweater showed exactly one inch of cleavage.
An inch…. And was brown and otherwise quite boring.
For the record, I am not, and never have been, a party girl. But there is nothing wrong with that if it’s truly consensual.
My point here is it doesn’t matter what you wear, the creepers will say it was a signal you wanted to (insert adult activity here)
So please. Keep the emphasis on the creeper’s behavior. Because someone could be wearing a head to toe covering and creepers will always say “They led me on! They wanted it!”
Don’t let them have even that much to hang on to.
It’s always always always the creeper’s behavior that is the problem. Always.
You’re missing the point entirely.
Changing profile pictures isn’t the problem.
Note my profile picture. … And the fact that I’ve only been here a couple months.
And even I have had this experience.
The profile picture isn’t the problem.
Being a bit flirty in the chat groups isn’t the problem
CREEPERS are the problem
There is literally nothing anyone can do that will prevent them from being a creeper except zero tolerance for their behavior
Whenever anyone puts even the tiniest emphasis on changing profile pictures, or anything like that, they’re taking responsibility off of the creeper’s behavior.
It’s not the profile picture.
Again. Look at my profile picture.
There is nothing there that would invite anyone to think I’m interested in anything other than fitness and weight management.
And yet…. It still has happened here to me.
It’s not the profile picture. Stop advising people to change their behavior to avoid creepers. Focus on the creepers.
10 -
No thank you! I'd rather focus on the things that I can control, and I suggested the profile pic based on my own experience. Also, I am pretty sure I made it clear that I'm not saying there's anything wrong with the sexy pics...just that I've gotten less attention with this one.0
-
What you're doing when you tell women to change their appearance or behavior in order to avoid getting creeped on, is you're saying, "make sure he [harasses/bothers/assaults] the other girl." The behavior that gross dudes choose to engage in is not women's responsibility to manage, in cyberspace or meatspace. The men are making a choice and it is about god damned time they faced some consequences for it.12
-
Sorry, I disagree. I don't feel I'm telling anyone to do that, and I think it's a little silly to compare a photo online with these serious issues.0
-
goal06082021 wrote: »What you're doing when you tell women to change their appearance or behavior in order to avoid getting creeped on, is you're saying, "make sure he [harasses/bothers/assaults] the other girl." The behavior that gross dudes choose to engage in is not women's responsibility to manage, in cyberspace or meatspace. The men are making a choice and it is about god damned time they faced some consequences for it.
2 -
-
Let's be real.
I should be able to post a close up shot of my cleavage and still not get sexually explicit PMs.
Also, let's further be real: The guys sending those messages will due so based on a reasonable certainty that they're sending them to a woman, and fully half of them get off on it NOT being wanted, instead of the vague hope that it is.
Gross people behave grossly and I'm not about to start pretending not to be a woman to avoid those people.5 -
Can you send messages to people you haven't accepted as friends on here again?0
-
-
-
Let’s test it.
May I send you a message?1 -
MargaretYakoda wrote: »
Sure.
As long as it's not an inappropriate come-on. (Kidding! Kidding! Yes, send.)
I don't *think* I'm different from the standard user set-up, though on the "Welcome Committee" - it doesn't come with a membership status change like being a moderator does, AFAIK.3 -
MargaretYakoda wrote: »
Sure.
As long as it's not an inappropriate come-on. (Kidding! Kidding! Yes, send.)
I don't *think* I'm different from the standard user set-up, though on the "Welcome Committee" - it doesn't come with a membership status change like being a moderator does, AFAIK.
Well…. This is what I get.
The other day I tried it and there was an option to send someone a message.
So I think maybe the person’s feed needs to be set to private.0 -
Whereas this is a newbie.
I could, if I wished, send them a private message.
I think the solution here is for MFP to set to default things such that private messages can’t be sent unless you have chosen to allow it.
0 -
0
-
Editing because I mittened upIronwoman1111 wrote: »
Turns out yes.
I can send a message to @AnnPT77
1 -
MargaretYakoda wrote: »
Editing because I mittened upIronwoman1111 wrote: »
Turns out yes.
I can send a message to @AnnPT77
I think it's a no-op placebo pseudo-send. Here's my in-box, after a couple of refreshes, just now:
Apologies to a few MFP friends whom I've just outed as willing to send PMs to me. 😉 All were nice, friendly, perfectly appropriate PMs.
If it comes through, I'll speak up. But I don't really expect it.2 -
MargaretYakoda wrote: »
Editing because I mittened upIronwoman1111 wrote: »
Turns out yes.
I can send a message to @AnnPT77
I think it's a no-op placebo pseudo-send. Here's my in-box, after a couple of refreshes, just now:
Apologies to a few MFP friends whom I've just outed as willing to send PMs to me. 😉 All were nice, friendly, perfectly appropriate PMs.
If it comes through, I'll speak up. But I don't really expect it.
Full disclosure: Here’s how it looks on my side
0 -
MargaretYakoda wrote: »MargaretYakoda wrote: »
Editing because I mittened upIronwoman1111 wrote: »
Turns out yes.
I can send a message to @AnnPT77
I think it's a no-op placebo pseudo-send. Here's my in-box, after a couple of refreshes, just now:
Apologies to a few MFP friends whom I've just outed as willing to send PMs to me. 😉 All were nice, friendly, perfectly appropriate PMs.
If it comes through, I'll speak up. But I don't really expect it.
Full disclosure: Here’s how it looks on my side
I'd note that your outbox list doesn't say I read it. My inbox doesn't show it (still - I checked again).
It appears that the answer is that you can send a message to a non-friend, but they won't receive it.
If creepers out there are thinking they sent messages to a bunch of intended creep-ees, who didn't read them . . . that's vaguely satisfying, somehow, in that they wanted attention, didn't get any. Apparently, not even an indication that the message wasn't actually delivered. 😆3 -
MargaretYakoda wrote: »MargaretYakoda wrote: »
Editing because I mittened upIronwoman1111 wrote: »
Turns out yes.
I can send a message to @AnnPT77
I think it's a no-op placebo pseudo-send. Here's my in-box, after a couple of refreshes, just now:
Apologies to a few MFP friends whom I've just outed as willing to send PMs to me. 😉 All were nice, friendly, perfectly appropriate PMs.
If it comes through, I'll speak up. But I don't really expect it.
Full disclosure: Here’s how it looks on my side
I'd note that your outbox list doesn't say I read it. My inbox doesn't show it (still - I checked again).
It appears that the answer is that you can send a message to a non-friend, but they won't receive it.
If creepers out there are thinking they sent messages to a bunch of intended creep-ees, who didn't read them . . . that's vaguely satisfying, somehow, in that they wanted attention, didn't get any. Apparently, not even an indication that the message wasn't actually delivered. 😆
Bwa Ha Ha!
Love it!2 -
springlering62 wrote: »I’ve gotten several canned private messages lately that sound very similar, and with -can’t quite put my finger on why- potentially English not their first language.
I figure they’re catfishing for money or a visa.
And as @TayaCurragh so intuitively puts it, they think women with weight issues (or user names that proclaim their age) are easy targets.
One of these days I’m going to reply with “oh hey there! I’m sitting here naked eating cookies and chocolates and checking my investments. Want some nude pics of my 59 year old *kitten*?”
There has been an uptick in bots lately. I've been targeted as a "male" with these bots (probably because I don't have an explicitly female-sounding nickname or whatever other reasons there are (I do get email spam targetted at males too, so this may be related). Just don't accept friend requests from people who you haven't interacted with or if the friend invite message is missing or sounds suspicious.2
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 393.4K Introduce Yourself
- 43.8K Getting Started
- 260.2K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.9K Food and Nutrition
- 47.4K Recipes
- 232.5K Fitness and Exercise
- 426 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.5K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 153K Motivation and Support
- 8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.7K MyFitnessPal Information
- 24 News and Announcements
- 1.1K Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.6K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions