This isn't a dating app...
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What you're doing when you tell women to change their appearance or behavior in order to avoid getting creeped on, is you're saying, "make sure he [harasses/bothers/assaults] the other girl." The behavior that gross dudes choose to engage in is not women's responsibility to manage, in cyberspace or meatspace. The men are making a choice and it is about god damned time they faced some consequences for it.12
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Sorry, I disagree. I don't feel I'm telling anyone to do that, and I think it's a little silly to compare a photo online with these serious issues.0
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goal06082021 wrote: »What you're doing when you tell women to change their appearance or behavior in order to avoid getting creeped on, is you're saying, "make sure he [harasses/bothers/assaults] the other girl." The behavior that gross dudes choose to engage in is not women's responsibility to manage, in cyberspace or meatspace. The men are making a choice and it is about god damned time they faced some consequences for it.
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Let's be real.
I should be able to post a close up shot of my cleavage and still not get sexually explicit PMs.
Also, let's further be real: The guys sending those messages will due so based on a reasonable certainty that they're sending them to a woman, and fully half of them get off on it NOT being wanted, instead of the vague hope that it is.
Gross people behave grossly and I'm not about to start pretending not to be a woman to avoid those people.5 -
Can you send messages to people you haven't accepted as friends on here again?0
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Let’s test it.
May I send you a message?1 -
MargaretYakoda wrote: »
Sure.
As long as it's not an inappropriate come-on. (Kidding! Kidding! Yes, send.)
I don't *think* I'm different from the standard user set-up, though on the "Welcome Committee" - it doesn't come with a membership status change like being a moderator does, AFAIK.3 -
MargaretYakoda wrote: »
Sure.
As long as it's not an inappropriate come-on. (Kidding! Kidding! Yes, send.)
I don't *think* I'm different from the standard user set-up, though on the "Welcome Committee" - it doesn't come with a membership status change like being a moderator does, AFAIK.
Well…. This is what I get.
The other day I tried it and there was an option to send someone a message.
So I think maybe the person’s feed needs to be set to private.0 -
Whereas this is a newbie.
I could, if I wished, send them a private message.
I think the solution here is for MFP to set to default things such that private messages can’t be sent unless you have chosen to allow it.
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Ironwoman1111 wrote: »
Turns out yes.
I can send a message to @AnnPT77
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MargaretYakoda wrote: »Ironwoman1111 wrote: »
Turns out yes.
I can send a message to @AnnPT77
I think it's a no-op placebo pseudo-send. Here's my in-box, after a couple of refreshes, just now:
Apologies to a few MFP friends whom I've just outed as willing to send PMs to me. 😉 All were nice, friendly, perfectly appropriate PMs.
If it comes through, I'll speak up. But I don't really expect it.2 -
MargaretYakoda wrote: »Ironwoman1111 wrote: »
Turns out yes.
I can send a message to @AnnPT77
I think it's a no-op placebo pseudo-send. Here's my in-box, after a couple of refreshes, just now:
Apologies to a few MFP friends whom I've just outed as willing to send PMs to me. 😉 All were nice, friendly, perfectly appropriate PMs.
If it comes through, I'll speak up. But I don't really expect it.
Full disclosure: Here’s how it looks on my side
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MargaretYakoda wrote: »MargaretYakoda wrote: »Ironwoman1111 wrote: »
Turns out yes.
I can send a message to @AnnPT77
I think it's a no-op placebo pseudo-send. Here's my in-box, after a couple of refreshes, just now:
Apologies to a few MFP friends whom I've just outed as willing to send PMs to me. 😉 All were nice, friendly, perfectly appropriate PMs.
If it comes through, I'll speak up. But I don't really expect it.
Full disclosure: Here’s how it looks on my side
I'd note that your outbox list doesn't say I read it. My inbox doesn't show it (still - I checked again).
It appears that the answer is that you can send a message to a non-friend, but they won't receive it.
If creepers out there are thinking they sent messages to a bunch of intended creep-ees, who didn't read them . . . that's vaguely satisfying, somehow, in that they wanted attention, didn't get any. Apparently, not even an indication that the message wasn't actually delivered. 😆3 -
MargaretYakoda wrote: »MargaretYakoda wrote: »Ironwoman1111 wrote: »
Turns out yes.
I can send a message to @AnnPT77
I think it's a no-op placebo pseudo-send. Here's my in-box, after a couple of refreshes, just now:
Apologies to a few MFP friends whom I've just outed as willing to send PMs to me. 😉 All were nice, friendly, perfectly appropriate PMs.
If it comes through, I'll speak up. But I don't really expect it.
Full disclosure: Here’s how it looks on my side
I'd note that your outbox list doesn't say I read it. My inbox doesn't show it (still - I checked again).
It appears that the answer is that you can send a message to a non-friend, but they won't receive it.
If creepers out there are thinking they sent messages to a bunch of intended creep-ees, who didn't read them . . . that's vaguely satisfying, somehow, in that they wanted attention, didn't get any. Apparently, not even an indication that the message wasn't actually delivered. 😆
Bwa Ha Ha!
Love it!2 -
springlering62 wrote: »I’ve gotten several canned private messages lately that sound very similar, and with -can’t quite put my finger on why- potentially English not their first language.
I figure they’re catfishing for money or a visa.
And as @TayaCurragh so intuitively puts it, they think women with weight issues (or user names that proclaim their age) are easy targets.
One of these days I’m going to reply with “oh hey there! I’m sitting here naked eating cookies and chocolates and checking my investments. Want some nude pics of my 59 year old *kitten*?”
There has been an uptick in bots lately. I've been targeted as a "male" with these bots (probably because I don't have an explicitly female-sounding nickname or whatever other reasons there are (I do get email spam targetted at males too, so this may be related). Just don't accept friend requests from people who you haven't interacted with or if the friend invite message is missing or sounds suspicious.2
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