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Congratulating undereating

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Replies

  • mph323
    mph323 Posts: 3,565 Member
    I think there's a particular group of people on any weight management site who use the program to track their undereating in an attempt to lose weight fast. For instance, I suspect some people who post threads about not eating back exercise calories and still losing too slowly just find like-minded friends when the forum explains that's not how MFP works. I also think a lot of people aren't aware that friends of friends can see their comments.

    I'm basing this guess on my experience with WW years ago. At that time you were given a number of daily points (TDEE) to spend, and then some weekly points that you could spend any time you liked, but were intended to be used by the end of the week. It was made very clear that those points were part of your goal and should be eaten.

    There was an accountability thread on one of the boards that was specific to people who don't eat back the weekly points, and wow, some of those people racked up an impressive amount of exercise while under-eating. Lots of complaints about hunger and back-sliding, with people encouraging each other to hang in.
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 27,843 Member
    Lietchi wrote: »
    I was under the impression that simply being under the calorie goal was being congratulated, but I must say I haven't paid that much attention. I wonder how many people actually look at someone's diary (to see how much they were under) before commenting on/liking their post saying they stayed under their calorie goal ?

    I honestly refrain from commenting on these posts, because without knowing what weight loss rate they have selected (or knowing their overall amount of calories for the week) it's impossible to know if someone is doing well or not.

    I used to have two under-eaters in my friends list that I unfollowed because their undereating AND getting congratulations for it was triggering me. I do think a lot of the "Good jobs" were from people who didn't know their history and didn't realize they were undereating. But if they'd bothered to read the comments from both the posters and their friends who were attempting to discourage the undereating it would have been obvious.

    The discussions here on the forums are more insightful and thoughtful, so that's where I spend my time.
  • lemurcat2
    lemurcat2 Posts: 7,899 Member
    sviers13 wrote: »
    @scarlett_k I'm glad you brought this up. I don't really understand why that statement is even there. It has an effect on me personally when I see it on my own news feed. I agree with you that it seems to be congratulating undereating.
    That being said, I understand what others are saying about not knowing someone else's goals. I don't really pay much attention when it says it about my friends. I'm talking about my own diary and goals. I have to step back from the urge to always be under the goal. It can become a self destructive situation for me because I react negatively when I am NOT under my goal.
    I know I could stop completing my diary but, I do find inspiration from the what you could weigh in five weeks message.

    I actually have this.

    My solution was to raise my limit manually. I know roughly where I need to be, but I need to NOT see red because my brain hates it. So my 'calorie limit' on MFP is actually higher than it 'should' be. That is the primary reason that 99.9% of the time my diary is 'under my limit for the day'.

    Because I made the limit too high.

    (This trick would nooooooooooooot work for most people)

    This is what I did when I first started, except with (probably) a narrower range. I felt like I was being scolded if over, but obviously I couldn't hit it exactly every day, so I added 50 cals to my goal and would eat within that range most days (plus exercise).
  • glassyo
    glassyo Posts: 7,570 Member
    lemurcat2 wrote: »
    sviers13 wrote: »
    @scarlett_k I'm glad you brought this up. I don't really understand why that statement is even there. It has an effect on me personally when I see it on my own news feed. I agree with you that it seems to be congratulating undereating.
    That being said, I understand what others are saying about not knowing someone else's goals. I don't really pay much attention when it says it about my friends. I'm talking about my own diary and goals. I have to step back from the urge to always be under the goal. It can become a self destructive situation for me because I react negatively when I am NOT under my goal.
    I know I could stop completing my diary but, I do find inspiration from the what you could weigh in five weeks message.

    I actually have this.

    My solution was to raise my limit manually. I know roughly where I need to be, but I need to NOT see red because my brain hates it. So my 'calorie limit' on MFP is actually higher than it 'should' be. That is the primary reason that 99.9% of the time my diary is 'under my limit for the day'.

    Because I made the limit too high.

    (This trick would nooooooooooooot work for most people)

    This is what I did when I first started, except with (probably) a narrower range. I felt like I was being scolded if over, but obviously I couldn't hit it exactly every day, so I added 50 cals to my goal and would eat within that range most days (plus exercise).

    Sometimes that red seemed so angry 😀 so I set mine to maintenance and whatever number left in the pretty green is my deficit.
  • wunderkindking
    wunderkindking Posts: 1,615 Member
    edited August 2021
    glassyo wrote: »
    lemurcat2 wrote: »
    sviers13 wrote: »
    @scarlett_k I'm glad you brought this up. I don't really understand why that statement is even there. It has an effect on me personally when I see it on my own news feed. I agree with you that it seems to be congratulating undereating.
    That being said, I understand what others are saying about not knowing someone else's goals. I don't really pay much attention when it says it about my friends. I'm talking about my own diary and goals. I have to step back from the urge to always be under the goal. It can become a self destructive situation for me because I react negatively when I am NOT under my goal.
    I know I could stop completing my diary but, I do find inspiration from the what you could weigh in five weeks message.

    I actually have this.

    My solution was to raise my limit manually. I know roughly where I need to be, but I need to NOT see red because my brain hates it. So my 'calorie limit' on MFP is actually higher than it 'should' be. That is the primary reason that 99.9% of the time my diary is 'under my limit for the day'.

    Because I made the limit too high.

    (This trick would nooooooooooooot work for most people)

    This is what I did when I first started, except with (probably) a narrower range. I felt like I was being scolded if over, but obviously I couldn't hit it exactly every day, so I added 50 cals to my goal and would eat within that range most days (plus exercise).

    Sometimes that red seemed so angry 😀 so I set mine to maintenance and whatever number left in the pretty green is my deficit.

    Yeah when I was trying to lose I set to maintain and just ate between 1200 calories (rarely) and up to maintenance calories and called it good.

    Now I'm trying less hard to lose (I need to lose maybe 3lbs at this point, could go up to 8 but absolutely no more) so I'm set about 150 calories above maintenance for my normal activity level and let exercise create my deficit (I am not a crazy exerciser).

    Either way, my GOD there's gonna be green in my end of day profile to save me 'red corrections on your math test' flashbacks!
  • nooshi713
    nooshi713 Posts: 4,877 Member
    I took it to mean they stuck to their calorie goal. It could be by 1 calorie or 50 calories. I don’t usually pay much attention to how many but I figured sticking to your calorie goal is a good thing. I don’t assume they are drastically under eating and I’m not congratulating drastically under eating.
  • ccrdragon
    ccrdragon Posts: 3,365 Member
    glassyo wrote: »
    lemurcat2 wrote: »
    sviers13 wrote: »
    @scarlett_k I'm glad you brought this up. I don't really understand why that statement is even there. It has an effect on me personally when I see it on my own news feed. I agree with you that it seems to be congratulating undereating.
    That being said, I understand what others are saying about not knowing someone else's goals. I don't really pay much attention when it says it about my friends. I'm talking about my own diary and goals. I have to step back from the urge to always be under the goal. It can become a self destructive situation for me because I react negatively when I am NOT under my goal.
    I know I could stop completing my diary but, I do find inspiration from the what you could weigh in five weeks message.

    I actually have this.

    My solution was to raise my limit manually. I know roughly where I need to be, but I need to NOT see red because my brain hates it. So my 'calorie limit' on MFP is actually higher than it 'should' be. That is the primary reason that 99.9% of the time my diary is 'under my limit for the day'.

    Because I made the limit too high.

    (This trick would nooooooooooooot work for most people)

    This is what I did when I first started, except with (probably) a narrower range. I felt like I was being scolded if over, but obviously I couldn't hit it exactly every day, so I added 50 cals to my goal and would eat within that range most days (plus exercise).

    Sometimes that red seemed so angry 😀 so I set mine to maintenance and whatever number left in the pretty green is my deficit.

    Yeah when I was trying to lose I set to maintain and just ate between 1200 calories (rarely) and up to maintenance calories and called it good.

    Now I'm trying less hard to lose (I need to lose maybe 3lbs at this point, could go up to 8 but absolutely no more) so I'm set about 150 calories above maintenance for my normal activity level and let exercise create my deficit (I am not a crazy exerciser).

    Either way, my GOD there's gonna be green in my end of day profile to save me 'red corrections on your math test' flashbacks!

    This is interesting... I do the majority of my food logging thru the app (it's just easier for me that way) and the app doesn't do the 'RED' negative values any more - when you go over, it's black and bold. Still green for staying under the value but no more red.

    As to the OP, in my case, I know the friends that I have pretty well (we have been friends here for years) and none of them have been the type to under-eat, so I just click like and move on. I did have a couple for awhile who were going under and with those folks I did make comments about how many calories they were missing and encouraged them to eat to the limit. Sadly, those folks have long since gone inactive or dropped off the radar.
  • ythannah
    ythannah Posts: 4,366 Member
    For me when I look at my newsfeed all I see is 'completed their diary today and was under their goal' or 'completed their diary today'. I'm not clicking in to their diary. I don't now what their goal is set at. I just go clicking like buttons or saying 'yay' and carry on. I should probably pay more attention, but I also I'm probably not going to.

    This exactly. I don't look at anyone's food diaries so I'm mainly applauding their commitment to logging, not caring whether they're under or over. My own diary isn't viewable and my goal isn't weight loss anyway. Although sometimes I've looked at my total and I've got one green calorie left and I do chuckle to myself a little "oooh, I'll get an 'under' for this one".

    I've always joked that it would be more personally meaningful if my feed said "ythannah met her protein goal today" instead of reporting on the calorie count.
  • AnnPT77
    AnnPT77 Posts: 31,717 Member
    I used to read diaries pretty often when I was first here, and comment, including sometimes when I was concerned that the person was eating consistently too few calories or extremely poor nutrition. Often, that didn't go well.

    Eventually I concluded that I really didn't have enough information to judge (though one can learn a lot just from the eating/exercise log), and that the people who were willing to consider such comments were a minority, and for that matter were somewhat more likely to be people who had considered their strategy already and had reasons for what they were doing (such as under medical supervision, on prescribed surgical prep diet, etc.).

    Others got offended, hurt, angry. Not worth it.

    I have sometimes seen what you're talking about, @scarlett_k, over in friend/timeline-ville : Looks like some people collect a little cluster of fangirls (almost always see this among women, sorry), all of them encouraging each other to unhealthy calorie self-denial (and sometimes lots of exercise) in pursuit of faster loss. Ugh.

    Even here in the forums, we get posts that make it clear that some poster thinks support is positive comments, and *only* positive comments, about what a person is doing: That concerns (even factual disagreements about nutrition or the like) are just people being mean. I think that attitude's even more common in the "friends" setting, that belief that friends only say nice things . . . to one's face, anyway.

    These days, I usually take a quick look at someone's diary when they FR me (I almost never send FRs myself), and if it looks like they eat interesting things I'll click on their diary-completion messages occasionally and see if they're eating something fun I'd like to learn about, ask a question or make a comment. The ones that look bad to me at first glance, now, I just mostly eye-roll and go on with life, ignore . . . unless they ask me something, or ask for feedback explicitly. (I try to be nice about it if critical, even though sweetness is not really my wheelhouse.)

    I'm pretty sure I've had people delete me out of pique at comments, or over not approving of how I eat (or drink, occasionally). I rarely bother to delete anyone, unless they behave in reportably bad ways.
  • dbanks80
    dbanks80 Posts: 3,685 Member
    If it is under 1000 calories and you complete the diary it doesn't show up in the news feed. So how will anyone know.

    I know this because I accidentally clicked complete diary. It showed a warning and it didn't show up in the news feed
  • ythannah
    ythannah Posts: 4,366 Member
    dbanks80 wrote: »
    If it is under 1000 calories and you complete the diary it doesn't show up in the news feed. So how will anyone know.

    I know this because I accidentally clicked complete diary. It showed a warning and it didn't show up in the news feed

    I don't think it even allows you to close your diary under 1000 calories.

    I had several <1000 days when my dr put me on the low FODMAP plan and I was struggling to find "legal" food to comply with the diet. (Eventually I discovered low FODMAP rice krispie squares and rice pudding, so my intake was heavily bolstered by those.)
  • wunderkindking
    wunderkindking Posts: 1,615 Member
    dbanks80 wrote: »
    If it is under 1000 calories and you complete the diary it doesn't show up in the news feed. So how will anyone know.

    I know this because I accidentally clicked complete diary. It showed a warning and it didn't show up in the news feed

    Under 1000 calories gross.

    Which one: Can be well under 1000 calories NET

    and 1000 calories can be well under the threshold for someone to eat safely, even for loss./ Fast loss can be outright dangerous in a number of ways and 1000 calories even NET can still leave some really heavy people with a 2K a day deficit. Which is a short path toward medical issues.
  • AnnPT77
    AnnPT77 Posts: 31,717 Member
    dbanks80 wrote: »
    If it is under 1000 calories and you complete the diary it doesn't show up in the news feed. So how will anyone know.

    I know this because I accidentally clicked complete diary. It showed a warning and it didn't show up in the news feed

    Because numbers above 1000 can be obviously too low. Because one can look at their diary unprompted, if open. Because one sees comments on weight loss status updates or other status updates that are congratulatory about ultra low calories.
  • rheddmobile
    rheddmobile Posts: 6,840 Member
    sviers13 wrote: »
    @scarlett_k I'm glad you brought this up. I don't really understand why that statement is even there. It has an effect on me personally when I see it on my own news feed. I agree with you that it seems to be congratulating undereating.
    That being said, I understand what others are saying about not knowing someone else's goals. I don't really pay much attention when it says it about my friends. I'm talking about my own diary and goals. I have to step back from the urge to always be under the goal. It can become a self destructive situation for me because I react negatively when I am NOT under my goal.
    I know I could stop completing my diary but, I do find inspiration from the what you could weigh in five weeks message.

    I actually have this.

    My solution was to raise my limit manually. I know roughly where I need to be, but I need to NOT see red because my brain hates it. So my 'calorie limit' on MFP is actually higher than it 'should' be. That is the primary reason that 99.9% of the time my diary is 'under my limit for the day'.

    Because I made the limit too high.

    (This trick would nooooooooooooot work for most people)

    Hey, whatever works, works. I do the opposite, I’m in maintenance but have myself set to lose .5 a week because I know I am sloppy with my logging. I could weigh and measure more strictly, or I could give myself a couple hundred calories of wiggle room and know from weighing myself that it’s coming out about right over time.
  • rheddmobile
    rheddmobile Posts: 6,840 Member
    BTW when I see someone barely logging anything I usually assume they aren’t logging properly, not that they aren’t eating. I guess if the person were skinny I might think they were anorexic but the only people on my feed logging 1100 calories are the same ones posting about how they never lose any weight for the past three years on MFP. I wish them well pretending to eat only 1100 but it ain’t my business.
  • corinasue1143
    corinasue1143 Posts: 7,467 Member
    What about a MFP friend who previously ate 2 large McDonald’s fries, a bunch of cookies and a pint of ice cream in a day. Now they’re eating grilled chicken, vegetables, fruit, and maybe one cookie, but still seriously under MFP calorie goal.
    Should you “like”?
  • AnnPT77
    AnnPT77 Posts: 31,717 Member
    What about a MFP friend who previously ate 2 large McDonald’s fries, a bunch of cookies and a pint of ice cream in a day. Now they’re eating grilled chicken, vegetables, fruit, and maybe one cookie, but still seriously under MFP calorie goal.
    Should you “like”?

    Your call. If I were going to interact, I'd be likely to comment rather than like, say something like "I've noticed you're really working on improving your nutrition lately: Good show! Sometimes people find those nutrient-dense foods really filling, so harder to get calories up close to goal to avoid health risks from undereating, which is also important. Have you considered nuts, seeds, avocados, peanut butter? So healthy!" 😉

    But that's just me.