What nobody tells you about losing weight
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buddharivet wrote: »I’m back already. It finally happened. I had a friend ask me what my “secret” was, and then discuss nutrition with me and shoot down Every Single Thing I told her to do. I was not in a social circumstance where I felt comfortable saying something along the lines if “Are you seriously trying to tell your friend who has lost 228 pounds that she doesn’t know what she is talking about?”. So I just said, “I’m sorry, but I don’t have a magical answer for you.” And left it at that. And, for some reason both completely predictable and completely unfathomable, she totally accepted that answer. I guess I need to get used to having to say that.
Sir! I disagree your disagree and find you extremely disagreeable. I fling down the gauntlet of Ove-Glove and challenge you to a duel at dawn.
Post-breakfast, of course. One must have protein and carbs in sufficient numbers to kick your disagreeable *kitten*.
Who the hell could possibly disagree this post?! I know I know, finger slippage while scrolling, but still…..13 -
springlering62 wrote: »
Sir! I disagree your disagree and find you extremely disagreeable. I fling down the gauntlet of Ove-Glove and challenge you to a duel at dawn.
Post-breakfast, of course. One must have protein and carbs in sufficient numbers to kick your disagreeable *kitten*.
Who the hell could possibly disagree this post?! I know I know, finger slippage while scrolling, but still…..
Thank you so very much for coming to my defense @springlering62 ! I hadn’t even noticed the “disagree” on my post. And now there seems to be one on yours too!
Some people’s children! (As my mother used to say)6 -
Nobody told me I'd gain wrinkles without the usual padding. Guess I should have figured that out on my own
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ginamyrmel wrote: »Nobody told me I'd gain wrinkles without the usual padding. Guess I should have figured that out on my own.
That's a lovely photo! And frankly I see no wrinkles.14 -
That's a lovely photo! And frankly I see no wrinkles.
I agree with @charmmeth ! Lovely photo and you look great!7 -
I went swimming this weekend and felt good about wearing a suit in public, at a water Zumba class, for the first time in many many many years. The person I was with was not as comfortable with themselves. I had to hear more than I wanted to hear. She commented on how tiny I was a number of times. Once she even said I looked like I was 15. I had to tell her that I just got out of the overweight range and when I was 15, I probably weighed 30 lbs less. Btw I am 61, for the readers here. Sometime I will ask if looking 15 is a compliment or not? Cuz I am wondering..... I did say that we need to get in the kind of shape where we are happier with ourselves and have more confidence. I complimented here genuinely on a number of things. She also said that she thinks I don't realize how tiny that I am. I do know that I have more to go. I am happy that I have lost a fair amount. I still have goals and that is ok. I do not feel they are unrealistic. I just went there to have fun and forget about problems for awhile.......Need to rethink these outings.
I posted this on another thread as well.18 -
salleewins wrote: »She also said that she thinks I don't realize how tiny that I am. I do know that I have more to go. I am happy that I have lost a fair amount. I still have goals and that is ok. I do not feel they are unrealistic. I just went there to have fun and forget about problems for awhile.......Need to rethink these outings.
I posted this on another thread as well.
I agree with you about rethinking those outings, at least for a while. People don't understand how hurtful they can be when they make comments like that. "You look like you're a kid," for example. I've gotten that. Well, I'm not a kid and neither are you, and I'll bet neither of us want to go back to that unformed, awkward stage of life!
One thing that I see over and over is how many folks have a very skewed idea of what's a normal weight. It's hard not to these days. I look at pictures of people from seventy years ago and at first they look really gaunt and then I realize "that's actually how we are supposed to be if we were healthy!" So hang in there. I'll bet your friend will get used to your new normal also.
Also, one for myself - speaking of tiny, I didn't realize how fine boned I am! My wrists are so slender that it kind of freaks me out a bit. I still carry some muscle and everything but I can wrap one hand around the other wrist with more than an inch of overlap between thumb and middle finger. Sometimes I think it looks frail, but I'll get used to it eventually.
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Nice pic!
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Sand_TIger wrote: »
I agree with you about rethinking those outings, at least for a while. People don't understand how hurtful they can be when they make comments like that. "You look like you're a kid," for example. I've gotten that. Well, I'm not a kid and neither are you, and I'll bet neither of us want to go back to that unformed, awkward stage of life!
One thing that I see over and over is how many folks have a very skewed idea of what's a normal weight. It's hard not to these days. I look at pictures of people from seventy years ago and at first they look really gaunt and then I realize "that's actually how we are supposed to be if we were healthy!" So hang in there. I'll bet your friend will get used to your new normal also.
Also, one for myself - speaking of tiny, I didn't realize how fine boned I am! My wrists are so slender that it kind of freaks me out a bit. I still carry some muscle and everything but I can wrap one hand around the other wrist with more than an inch of overlap between thumb and middle finger. Sometimes I think it looks frail, but I'll get used to it eventually.
Thank you for your comments! I am getting there with my wrists, too. The rewards of everything else I am sure are worth it for us!4 -
Sand_TIger wrote: »
One thing that I see over and over is how many folks have a very skewed idea of what's a normal weight. It's hard not to these days. I look at pictures of people from seventy years ago and at first they look really gaunt and then I realize "that's actually how we are supposed to be if we were healthy!"
This!!
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The energy you gain with the weight you loose!10
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[quote="dawnmcneil10;c-313290
Something else that I struggle with is using up the excess energy without irritating others.
[/quote]
YES! haha both my husband and my sister ask me where I get my energy and I can tell I annoy them both!!
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Sand_TIger wrote: »
One thing that I see over and over is how many folks have a very skewed idea of what's a normal weight. It's hard not to these days. I look at pictures of people from seventy years ago and at first they look really gaunt and then I realize "that's actually how we are supposed to be if we were healthy!"
I can't agree with this enough. All in all, I've had rather positive experiences with other people, but the one thing that has floored me is what people think is an appropriate weight/body size.
So I've lost 125 pounds. But I was morbidly obese to start. So much so that it took 102 pounds to no longer be classified as morbidly obese and now just be plain old obese.
But I'm out eating and someone mentions "so are you done losing weight?" And I respond that no, I still have a ways to go. To which, they completely and seriously state that I shouldn't lose much more because I'm fairly skinny...
People, I'm 80 pounds above a normal BMI. I wear a 2XL shirt and have a size 36 waist. This is not "skinny".
I still can't believe they said that LOL.
And don't get me wrong. Different people can and should be happy at different body sizes. But 80 pounds overweight is not skinny. Certainly not on me anyways.
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I can't agree with this enough. All in all, I've had rather positive experiences with other people, but the one thing that has floored me is what people think is an appropriate weight/body size.
So I've lost 125 pounds. But I was morbidly obese to start. So much so that it took 102 pounds to no longer be classified as morbidly obese and now just be plain old obese.
But I'm out eating and someone mentions "so are you done losing weight?" And I respond that no, I still have a ways to go. To which, they completely and seriously state that I shouldn't lose much more because I'm fairly skinny...
People, I'm 80 pounds above a normal BMI. I wear a 2XL shirt and have a size 36 waist. This is not "skinny".
I still can't believe they said that LOL.
And don't get me wrong. Different people can and should be happy at different body sizes. But 80 pounds overweight is not skinny. Certainly not on me anyways.
This is such a real thing. People started telling me I was getting too thin at... 150lbs. Which is, admittedly, the very top end of a healthy BMI for me, but they were acting like I was going to die of starvation.14 -
You can't determine where on your body the weight will drop from, and the results can seem sub-optimal even once you've acheived goal, but over the next year your remaining weight will redistribute. I lost over 100lbs and looked gaunt in the face but still had a bit of a tummy, which was rather disappointing; a couple of years on my tummy has shrunk and my face filled out again while remaining the same weight. Don't be discouraged as you see parts of yourself shrink and other parts seem to increase (relatively speaking) – it'll sort itself out :-)37
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You can't determine where on your body the weight will drop from, and the results can seem sub-optimal even once you've acheived goal, but over the next year your remaining weight will redistribute. I lost over 100lbs and looked gaunt in the face but still had a bit of a tummy, which was rather disappointing; a couple of years on my tummy has shrunk and my face filled out again while remaining the same weight. Don't be discouraged as you see parts of yourself shrink and other parts seem to increase (relatively speaking) – it'll sort itself out :-)
Thank you. I am 147 lbs on a good day which is the upper end of my BMI. I do have a tummy. I don't think I am tiny at about 5'4' and that weight. What you say is encouraging to hear. I do want to lose more. LOL. Maybe when some people look at me I will vanish right before their eyes. However I live with myself. I just want to be the happiest I can be with myself. I want to lose my fat and keep toning in addition. Lifelong journey.9 -
wunderkindking wrote: »
This is such a real thing. People started telling me I was getting too thin at... 150lbs. Which is, admittedly, the very top end of a healthy BMI for me, but they were acting like I was going to die of starvation.
aww. Someone always has to say something negative. This type of person needs to say positive things. Nothing to do with us!4 -
I have rewritten this post several times now to try and not sound like a total whiner, but I'm not sure I can succeed at that so here it is:
I've realized several of my relationships were more toxic and one-sided than I thought they were. I'm not ready to ditch them all just yet because in most cases I don't think it's malicious or deliberate; it's just the habits we've all gotten into and when I change things, I get blamed even if the change is needed. Especially when the status quo was heavy on me as giver and other person as taker.
I've recommended the book Codependent No More a few times on these boards. I will recommend it again now.25 -
That you’ll need ALL new clothes down to underwear. That sometimes you’ll be sad to donate an item because of the memories you made in it - or the way it made you feel. But then happy to know you’ll be making new memories in new clothes (that even fit and look better now). And you’ll be VERY grateful for thrift stores!!!20
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No one told me this and maybe I'm the only weirdo here. But after you have lost weight and stayed relatively stable for a bit, when you look in the mirror you no longer think how much you have lost but does x body part look bigger or flabbier or more toned or whatever? You just get used to the new size and begin to compare everything relative to that.16
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How after being overweight and out of shape for so long, when you do lose it feels like you are inhabiting someone else's body! And it is not easy to switch off the 'overweight' feeling. I had to go and get a new pair of jeans. In January of this year I weighed over 230 pounds, as of today I am 177, and I have firmed up more than I dared to dream of. I thought there was something wrong when I pulled on a size I haven't worn in decades, and it took me a few minutes to realize it was ME that was in the mirror. My first time seeing myself in a full length mirror since July of 2020.37
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Nobody told me I'd end up needing new makeup. That my skin tone and texture would both change from eating a better diet and drinking more water. That the fine lines around my eyes would be more prominent when they didn't have fat filling the area, while my eyes themselves look bigger. All this together meant throwing out my old makeup and starting over with a sheerer foundation in a different shade along with different eye makeup. On the upside, I feel more comfortable going out without makeup entirely when I want to. But when I do wear it, I have to wear the new stuff because the old version looks wrong. That's definitely not something I expected.24
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That clothes that are "comfy" and clothes that "fit" can be two entirely different things. More than once, I have left the house in a shirt I thought looked good on me because it was comfortable, only to catch my reflection to see it was hopelessly too large to be worn in public. Other times, I put on a shirt and wonder if it's too tight (or clings to me in an unflattering way) and I find it looks really good. I'm constantly reassessing my wardrobe during this whole weight loss process.38
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I have been feeling hairier than usual, especially in the chest and the stomach. Then I realized the amount of hair is the same but its the surface area that has shrunk lol35
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salleewins wrote: »I went swimming this weekend and felt good about wearing a suit in public, at a water Zumba class, for the first time in many many many years. The person I was with was not as comfortable with themselves. I had to hear more than I wanted to hear. She commented on how tiny I was a number of times. Once she even said I looked like I was 15. I had to tell her that I just got out of the overweight range and when I was 15, I probably weighed 30 lbs less. Btw I am 61, for the readers here. Sometime I will ask if looking 15 is a compliment or not? Cuz I am wondering..... I did say that we need to get in the kind of shape where we are happier with ourselves and have more confidence. I complimented here genuinely on a number of things. She also said that she thinks I don't realize how tiny that I am. I do know that I have more to go. I am happy that I have lost a fair amount. I still have goals and that is ok. I do not feel they are unrealistic. I just went there to have fun and forget about problems for awhile.......Need to rethink these outings.
I posted this on another thread as well.
Unfortunately, the majority of the world does not seem to what "normal" bmi/weight looks like in person anymore. I hope you don't give up on something you enjoy because of someone else's thoughts and opinions. Go, get the relaxation/exercise you want/ need.11 -
A very fit and thin friend lent me her jacket the other day and I started to say, "Oh no, it couldn't possibly fit me", and she, "Oh sure it will - we're the same size". She didn't know me when I was heavier and she was super confused as to why I wouldn't think it would fit. Sure enough, the jacket fit like a dream. It's been more than year since I've been this size, but I still think I'm an XXL, when a medium or even a small fits me just fine.23
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When I was XXL and in “W” sizes, sleeves were too long, like manufacturers assumed I had gorilla arms because I was bigger.
Now that I’m in much smaller sizes, sleeves and shirts are too short, and waistlines are baggy yet I have trouble getting pants over muscular calves and thighs. Not particularly big, mind you, just muscular.
I guess I just had in my mind that ill fitting clothes were a punishment for weight and that clothes would magically fit as I shrank.
Nope.20 -
I didn't know it was possible to actually SKIP sizes as you lost weight. Even when you're almost to goal weight. All that "whooshing" does strange things. Pants are the worst since those are hard for me to find anyway because of my height. I bought several pairs in the "next size down" figuring I'd shrink into them in a few weeks. They were way too small when I bought them, but I felt confident I would get there. Turns out I dropped straight past them over a two day period and never got to wear them at all. This happened to me several times during my weight loss, and I'm still losing inches even now when I'm at my goal. Probably because of the strength training. But I wish I'd realized it was possible to skip sizes. I would have saved money by not buying ahead so much. At the time, it felt good to be that confident, so I can't reget it too much. But knowing what I do now, I would have limited my purchases more and stuck to items that could span multiple sizes more easily.18
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@springlering62 ... That is so true about things not necessarily fitting better when you're thin. I actually had an easier time shopping at bigger sizes because my proportions fit the clothing industry's models better. Now I have to special order things I used to be able to buy in stores. Mind you, I'd rather do that than go back to the way I felt before the weight loss. But I'd better not gain the weight back because if I do, I'll have wasted a ton of money on clothes!!9
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BrightEyedAgain wrote: »But knowing what I do now, I would have limited my purchases more and stuck to items that could span multiple sizes more easily.
Ha ha ha, I hear you! So, this is the reason why I don't wear pants. For work clothes it's skirts, period. They can stretch and shrink a lot more easily as my shape changes. Someday after my weight has stabilized I MAY try buying a pair of actual pants, rather than just skirts or exercise shorts, but I'm not sure I'll be brave enough!
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