What nobody tells you about losing weight
Replies
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Also I have noticed with the weight loss I have become more self conscious about my appearance (hair and make up are defo more on point than before)!
I used to wear clothes that were a little too big thinking they hid my fat better but I won't wear baggy clothes anymore even though I've still got a long way to go.
See I still wear the baggy clothes, as I know that I have lost weight but it feels like my fat is more jiggly then it was before, hence the being scared of buying new clothes. So I keep postponing the getting new clothes until I reach my goal of being under 200 lbs (it is not that I think I don't deserve it but more of a it 'll make me feel uncomfy kind of thing). TY for responding btw, makes me feel good that it is not just me going through kind of changes I didn't expect
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I have come full circle with clothes.
When I was obese it was 'is it clean and wrinkle free' + too big because I thought it hid my fat.
When I was starting to see results, finally, I became really anti-'this is a tent'/wearing oversized things because I was proud and also because I COULD -- and because I felt like the bagger clothes made me look fatter.
I am at goal now and back to 'doesn't fall off my butt' and oversized sweatshirts because they're comfortable and warm.
I'm definitely less self-conscious and I definitely also bother more with my hair/makeup more often, though, just because it somehow feels more 'worth it' than it did when I was heavier.
I will say, though, that the unfortunate thing I learned along the way re: clothes: When you're fat, big clothes don't hide it; you still look fat. When you're NOT fat, big clothes don't make you look fat. Still more or less flattering things, but baggy clothes don't make you look fat OR hide it. It's a psychological comfort thing.14 -
@Elske224
I have a ton of clothes in various sizes (tops from L- 3XL, always been top heavy) so buying new clothes at this stage is not necessary, I shop the back of my closet, lol
@wunderkindking
Couldn't agree more it is all a mental thing but I'm all for anything that improves my outlook and self esteem ☺9 -
@Elske224
I have a ton of clothes in various sizes (tops from L- 3XL, always been top heavy) so buying new clothes at this stage is not necessary, I shop the back of my closet, lol
@wunderkindking
Couldn't agree more it is all a mental thing but I'm all for anything that improves my outlook and self esteem ☺
oh heck yeah, lean into whatever makes you feel good. I ultimately just finally got 'used to' how I looked and internalized the confidence I think. Also I got cold. I am so cold. I am living in hoodies until May.4 -
JustRamona wrote: »buddharivet wrote: »ShatteredLady wrote: »I've lost 28 lbs and feel amazing..but I HATE that I still look at myself in the mirror and see myself before losing the 28 lbs. Its frustrating and I get mad at myself for it.
I have this exact problem. And it's because self image is inside, not outside. I am in therapy and often speak about my weight loss (258lbs so far LOST) and I still try ordering clothing in the size I had been before. Because to me, I am still the same.
Since I haven't had any skin removal surgery (I still need to lose another 100 lbs...) - the skin takes up more room in the arms of my clothing than my waist and chest, so I must either choose to wear (unsightly) tank tops- or extra large shirts to hold the skin flaps. I feel like a monster and don't know when or if I will ever feel good about myself.
Some days are better than others and I see the weight loss in a different light. But most days (because of depression and anxiety) I end up still feeling just as I had before.
You WILL eventually feel good about yourself! The fact that you have achieved over 2/3rd’s of your intended weight loss shows that you have the strength to make it through. I started with less weight to lose than you have (only 275 pounds to my goal weight), but probably took a lot longer losing it than you have (12 years). I have had a huge roll of skin on my abdomen for most of the 12 years, and it wasn’t until I have gotten within 20 pounds of being ready for skin removal surgery that it’s gotten “thin” enough that I’m willing to wear jeans, because they hold it in. It was my constant, waddling companion for over a decade and I thought I would never get rid of it. But finally, sometime around the end of January, it will be gone. AND the skin on my arms too! Your time will come. Patience and persistence will get you through. Never give up.
I am not where I want to be, but can I ask how much the surgery will cost?
@JustRamona
In my case, I have Anthem Blue Cross insurance, and they will pay for the abdominal surgery if you have lost 100 pounds or more, are having rashes or sores, and have either 1) been a stable weight for 1 year if you had weight loss surgery, or 2) lost your weight without weight loss surgery over a slower period of time, therefore showing that you will keep it off. They will also pay for arms if you are having sores because of the excess skin. I’m not, so I’m paying out of pocket for my arms, and I have to pay for Everything (facility time, anesthesiologist, surgeon fee), even though I’m having them done during the same surgery session. They estimated 2 1/2 hours for my arms, which, in the San Francisco Bay Area, where everything is expensive, is going to cost me just under $7,000.6 -
I never considered myself a "shopper." I had then got down to 122 in 2010. I had to get some clothes that fit of course. And because everything I tried on was too big and I kept having to go to smaller sizes(which was totally the opposite of what I was used to before, having to go to bigger sizes) I became a shopper and still have a walk in closet full of the small sizes. Unfortunately after 5 years of keeping it off and getting lazy, I went right back to my previous highest weight. And became a un-shopper again.
Now with losing (still 50+ to my goal AGAIN) and better management of my diet I intend to go back to shopping. This time in my closet! There is an endorphin sort of boost to getting into smaller sizes, than what you think you are. TJMaxx loved me in those days! Spent a ton!5 -
springlering62 wrote: »For example, I can wear a pants size five or six sizes smaller than the measuring tape would allow.
I think I am having this problem, I measured my hips for underwear - bought what I thought was the correct size and it was too big... I don't understand? What is causing this oddness?
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justanotherloser007 wrote: »springlering62 wrote: »For example, I can wear a pants size five or six sizes smaller than the measuring tape would allow.
I think I am having this problem, I measured my hips for underwear - bought what I thought was the correct size and it was too big... I don't understand? What is causing this oddness?
It’s the extra skin. You can push it in, pull it sideways, roll it up like a Swiss Roll. It has no definitive shape.
I was punching down some bread dough yesterday. It’s like dough that’s risen. It’s all light and fluffy and volume, but when you press on it, it clumps down to nothing.
It fools the measuring tape.
Fools the eye.
Mindkittens with your brain, too.9 -
It's extra skin but also things meant to be tight are made with negative ease. Meaning to stretch to fit and unstretched smaller than what they're meant to go on.2
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buddharivet wrote: »JustRamona wrote: »buddharivet wrote: »ShatteredLady wrote: »I've lost 28 lbs and feel amazing..but I HATE that I still look at myself in the mirror and see myself before losing the 28 lbs. Its frustrating and I get mad at myself for it.
I have this exact problem. And it's because self image is inside, not outside. I am in therapy and often speak about my weight loss (258lbs so far LOST) and I still try ordering clothing in the size I had been before. Because to me, I am still the same.
Since I haven't had any skin removal surgery (I still need to lose another 100 lbs...) - the skin takes up more room in the arms of my clothing than my waist and chest, so I must either choose to wear (unsightly) tank tops- or extra large shirts to hold the skin flaps. I feel like a monster and don't know when or if I will ever feel good about myself.
Some days are better than others and I see the weight loss in a different light. But most days (because of depression and anxiety) I end up still feeling just as I had before.
You WILL eventually feel good about yourself! The fact that you have achieved over 2/3rd’s of your intended weight loss shows that you have the strength to make it through. I started with less weight to lose than you have (only 275 pounds to my goal weight), but probably took a lot longer losing it than you have (12 years). I have had a huge roll of skin on my abdomen for most of the 12 years, and it wasn’t until I have gotten within 20 pounds of being ready for skin removal surgery that it’s gotten “thin” enough that I’m willing to wear jeans, because they hold it in. It was my constant, waddling companion for over a decade and I thought I would never get rid of it. But finally, sometime around the end of January, it will be gone. AND the skin on my arms too! Your time will come. Patience and persistence will get you through. Never give up.
I am not where I want to be, but can I ask how much the surgery will cost?
@JustRamona
In my case, I have Anthem Blue Cross insurance, and they will pay for the abdominal surgery if you have lost 100 pounds or more, are having rashes or sores, and have either 1) been a stable weight for 1 year if you had weight loss surgery, or 2) lost your weight without weight loss surgery over a slower period of time, therefore showing that you will keep it off. They will also pay for arms if you are having sores because of the excess skin. I’m not, so I’m paying out of pocket for my arms, and I have to pay for Everything (facility time, anesthesiologist, surgeon fee), even though I’m having them done during the same surgery session. They estimated 2 1/2 hours for my arms, which, in the San Francisco Bay Area, where everything is expensive, is going to cost me just under $7,000.
Thanks for saying this! I'd been wondering and since I have Anthem Blue Cross, that's what I needed to know. It looks like my arms will deflate by themselves, but after three nine-pound babies in my twenties, I have doubts about my front billows.6 -
I’m only 8 weeks into my journey (down 16.8lbs), I have Crohn’s and I’m literally AMAZED at how much better my tummy feels. Less bloated, no pain at all (unheard of really for me) and SO.MUCH.ENERGY!! 44lbs to go so a long way but I see such a difference already.
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no one ever told me how much more i will poop!
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Nobody told me that losing weight would make some of the stress incontinence issues left over from having kids less of a thing. I wouldn't say it NEVER happens, but it happens a heck of a lot less than it used to!
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simply_shawnmarie wrote: »no one ever told me how much more i will poop!
I love when this happens, because I believe I have noticed a pattern--when I'm going more, the scale drops!6 -
sargemarcori wrote: »simply_shawnmarie wrote: »no one ever told me how much more i will poop!
I love when this happens, because I believe I have noticed a pattern--when I'm going more, the scale drops!
"Calories Out" so to speak.
I bet it's more related to what you're eating, not weight loss.7 -
So I've been sick for a couple days - nothing major, just a cold or something. Something nobody told me about weight loss is how fast I would recover now that I'm somewhere near a healthy weight. When my stress level was nonstop and I was 100 pounds heavier, colds and such would have me down for the count for a whole week minimum. Now I might have a sore throat and feel really tired for a day or two, but with hydration and good nutrition I'm over it right away.
I never would have guessed that. We hear all the time about things like heart disease, diabetes risk, joint issues, etcetera, but overall, my immune system seems to work so much better.28 -
I've had way too many haircut disasters to count but they never really bothered me. Now that I have lost the weight, I got one recently and she messed up. Nothing new there. But my reaction really caught me off guard. I was/am fuming. I was ready to take her down lol. Hair stylists out there, you do not want to mess up the hair of someone who recently lost weight. That's the easiest way to earn a nemesis😡13
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happimess01 wrote: »I've had way too many haircut disasters to count but they never really bothered me. Now that I have lost the weight, I got one recently and she messed up. Nothing new there. But my reaction really caught me off guard. I was/am fuming.
Yes! Before losing weight, I never cared much if I got a bad cut. I could just shrug it off since no one was looking at me anyway. Now - suddenly it MATTERS!
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I didn't mind (mostly) having to buy new clothes a few times on the way to being a weight I want to maintain. It was expensive but sometimes it was fun.
I RESENT THE CRAP out of having to buy new outer wear. It's expensive. I'm picky. I HAD THINGS I LOVED and can't replace because vintage. And I'm just straight kind of mad about it.13 -
AlexandraFindsHerself1971 wrote: »Nobody told me that losing weight would make some of the stress incontinence issues left over from having kids less of a thing. I wouldn't say it NEVER happens, but it happens a heck of a lot less than it used to!
I’m the exact opposite. My doctors have said losing weight would help the incontinence. When I tried to point out that particular issue started when I was ≈ 175, and isn’t just a dribble here and there, but is a bursting water balloon and far too often doubly incontinent, I was completely shut down and told it was “all in my head”
By my neurologist. Who I had consulted to monitor my small-but-growing meningioma.
Which, funny enough, is a type of benign brain tumor. Which is, yes, in my head. 😂
A big motivator for me is showing doctors that no, I am not lazy. Or a hypochondriac. And my issues are not caused by my weight. The weight is a sequelae of the increasing disability. Not the other way around.
Happy to report that almost 10 months into being super serious, and almost 80 pounds down, my GP is seeing my point (for the record, I do like her)19 -
@MargaretYakoda that sounds very difficult to deal with! Congrats on the 80 lbs, and I hope it means they start getting you figured out and helped!5
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How much less you'll eat for the rest of your life. That kinda bums me out--but I tell myself "nothing else tastes as good as being thin feels"12
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@utahstockmom I'm learning to enjoy tasting the food, to focus on the variety and flavors instead of the amount. I've been so used to eating very fast because I had to growing up, but now I can take the time to enjoy the taste. Enjoy each bite! Also, more budget friendly for cooking.9
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wunderkindking wrote: »
I RESENT THE CRAP out of having to buy new outer wear. It's expensive. I'm picky. I HAD THINGS I LOVED and can't replace because vintage. And I'm just straight kind of mad about it.
Hi there! Have you considered getting your existing stuff altered to fit the new you? Going down in sizes might be possible and you could even get it tailored to fit you better. For a few outerwear pieces it might be worth it.12 -
After a loss of 54 pounds, I move differently and with more confidence. While I still have 50 more to go, I no longer look at all the available routes in a room to see which one might have enough space for the bigger me. I'm starting to trust that I'll fit. Also, I can more easily get in my car when people park a bit too close.
I'm delighted by the choices I have when visiting Goodwill for my interim clothing. I'm saving up for a new wardrobe long term. Until then, I've found so many more options on the donation rack including some of my favorite brands. And...I've donated so many clothes and have extra room in my closet. It's amazing how fun it is to try on my old clothes and send them out the door for someone else, although, there were a few loved pieces that were a bit hard to let go of. I pull size 14's and 12's off the rack when I'm shopping and still shake my head. They are so small. It doesn't feel like I'll ever be there, but I'm trusting the process, so I've added a few to my closet in anticipation of that time.
This is such a journey of self discovery.21 -
@utahstockmom consider upping your veggie intake, when you are volume eating veggies you feel less like "I am eating so little" and more like "ugh, I don't know if I can eat it all" there is a good volume eaters thread. I suggest this, especially if you feel like the little you are eating is unsustainable. Consider really changing what you are eating. I have large bowls of food every time I eat, if it is veggies. When I am really hungry.. veggies.6
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Why oh why am I so cold 🥶
I used to have 53lbs of winter insulation
I'm freezing all the time now - I'm scared if my gas bill this winter!9 -
Walkywalkerson wrote: »Why oh why am I so cold 🥶
I used to have 53lbs of winter insulation
I'm freezing all the time now - I'm scared if my gas bill this winter!
Been there before and getting back there AGAIN! Put on a sweatshirt! LOL!5 -
Weird one. I don't bite my inner cheeks anymore.13
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Walkywalkerson wrote: »Why oh why am I so cold 🥶
I used to have 53lbs of winter insulation
I'm freezing all the time now - I'm scared if my gas bill this winter!
Been there before and getting back there AGAIN! Put on a sweatshirt! LOL!
In the evenings, when I am lounging around, I've actually taken to long sleeve pajamas and pj bottoms along with socks while wearing slippers. This is new to me.
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