Confess.
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@callsitlikeiseeit That's an amazing accomplishment!3
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@callsitlikeiseeit That's an amazing accomplishment!
im nothing if not stubborn LMAO
now its all habit. i couldnt eat the quantities i used to if i TRIED. it would make me sick.
still have a bit of weight to lose (about 30-40 pounds). working on that and training for my first spartan race this spring. that might kill me. it probably will. at least ill fit in a normal casket LMAO6 -
wilson10102018 wrote: »dralicephd wrote: »The difference between this thread and a "drunkalog" is that food isn't forbidden. We have to eat foods. I'm finding it quite insightful to see how small changes in diet can have huge impacts on calorie consumption and health. @wunderkindking 's response is a great example of how small changes to condiments can make a big difference.
Well, it isn't any big deal to me, but reveling in the debasing excesses of the past is not my idea of healthy dialogue. I'm also not a fan of hot dog eating contests. And, of course, there is nothing wrong or forbidden about alcohol.
not much amuses you......5 -
I recently did the math on the weight I’d regained over the last year, and it came down to an extra ~100c a day. Pretty surprising. I’d been beating myself up about how much of a glutton I must be. That’s just half of one granola bar per day. Not really an interesting confession.
But here’s the thing: I also started paying attention to my activity level by looking at my steps, and found that, most weekdays, I was getting MAYBE 500 steps a day. Frequently less. MFP was set to “not very active” and was still showing lots of negative calorie adjustments. I reach 0 adjustments at 1k steps. So I’m working on a daily walking habit to get up to an average of 5k steps, which gives the ~100c I needed. Still not “active”, but no longer completely immobile.
After a period of deficit to get to goal, I’m reassured that I won’t have to completely reinvent my eating habits. Just be attentive to my intake and move more, which I need to do for health anyway.
TL;DR: I confess to being a sloth, not a glutton.11 -
I recently did the math on the weight I’d regained over the last year, and it came down to an extra ~100c a day. Pretty surprising. I’d been beating myself up about how much of a glutton I must be. That’s just half of one granola bar per day. Not really an interesting confession.
But here’s the thing: I also started paying attention to my activity level by looking at my steps, and found that, most weekdays, I was getting MAYBE 500 steps a day. Frequently less. MFP was set to “not very active” and was still showing lots of negative calorie adjustments. I reach 0 adjustments at 1k steps. So I’m working on a daily walking habit to get up to an average of 5k steps, which gives the ~100c I needed. Still not “active”, but no longer completely immobile
After a period of deficit to get to goal, I’m reassured that I won’t have to completely reinvent my eating habits. Just be attentive to my intake and move more, which I need to do for health anyway.
TL;DR: I confess to being a sloth, not a glutton.
it wouldnt surprise me if thats about what my steps were back then. now my average (on a normal lazy day) is 4-5000 but thats because we live on a farm and even on a lazy day, at a minimum, I have to feed and water the livestock. back then, with my ex, i did NOT live on a farm and have those types of chores.
now if my husband is home to do those chores and i can get away with NOT helping (and guilt wont really let me not help, at least at night).... you can halve that. but thats really really rare. maybe one day every couple of months.1 -
callsitlikeiseeit wrote: »wilson10102018 wrote: »dralicephd wrote: »The difference between this thread and a "drunkalog" is that food isn't forbidden. We have to eat foods. I'm finding it quite insightful to see how small changes in diet can have huge impacts on calorie consumption and health. @wunderkindking 's response is a great example of how small changes to condiments can make a big difference.
Well, it isn't any big deal to me, but reveling in the debasing excesses of the past is not my idea of healthy dialogue. I'm also not a fan of hot dog eating contests. And, of course, there is nothing wrong or forbidden about alcohol.
not much amuses you......
Its funny that you say that. My principal problem is guilt for how lucky I am and have been. I can't think of anything in my life I want for or would even change. I love this program and I love dieting and counting calories. From day 1 I've lost weight exactly as planned, now 72 pounds down to 170. Maintained without gain for two years. My graph has no peaks and valleys, only a nice gentle slope and a two year plateau.
And, my only sadness is having to stand by and see others in pain, and frustration. A drunkalog is the manifestation of that pain. Let's call it a "bingealog" as relates to compulsive eating. Would you think that a person recovering from obsessive sexual fantasies would benefit from recounting the fantasies of the past to laypersons in a forum?2 -
wilson10102018 wrote: »callsitlikeiseeit wrote: »wilson10102018 wrote: »dralicephd wrote: »The difference between this thread and a "drunkalog" is that food isn't forbidden. We have to eat foods. I'm finding it quite insightful to see how small changes in diet can have huge impacts on calorie consumption and health. @wunderkindking 's response is a great example of how small changes to condiments can make a big difference.
Well, it isn't any big deal to me, but reveling in the debasing excesses of the past is not my idea of healthy dialogue. I'm also not a fan of hot dog eating contests. And, of course, there is nothing wrong or forbidden about alcohol.
not much amuses you......
Its funny that you say that. My principal problem is guilt for how lucky I am and have been. I can't think of anything in my life I want for or would even change. I love this program and I love dieting and counting calories. From day 1 I've lost weight exactly as planned, now 72 pounds down to 170. Maintained without gain for two years. My graph has no peaks and valleys, only a nice gentle slope and a two year plateau.
And, my only sadness is having to stand by and see others in pain, and frustration. A drunkalog is the manifestation of that pain. Let's call it a "bingealog" as relates to compulsive eating. Would you think that a person recovering from obsessive sexual fantasies would benefit from recounting the fantasies of the past to laypersons in a forum?
You may be looking at it too narrowly. There may be instances of people who view their past as something shameful that holds them back, but there are many who view it as a way to look forward to the future, even if they didn't like their past self much.
For many people, looking back means looking forward. Recognizing what habits lead to outcomes that don't align with current goals and what changes helped get closer to said goals helps keep these changes in mind. This is part of managing current food intake for many people.
You don't "quit" food, so learning as much as you can about your eating habits and how to make weight management easier based on your experience is part of it. It's not the same as the strict and clear lines of abstinence where you're comparing a past with alcohol to a present with no alcohol, eliminating the entire thing from your life.
Moreover, and this is just me and how I feel, complacency and feeling satisfied with what I'm doing as if the past me didn't exist blind me to potential pitfalls and setbacks. I also feel it's unfair to the past me to deny my own existence and actions which felt right at the time, just like my current actions feel right. Personally, I don't look down on my previous eating habits and never hated my past morbidly obese self, even when I was morbidly obese. No, I haven't magically become a whole different person just because I lost weight, I am still me and I'm still prone to the same old habits and motivations that, if left unchecked, will lead to outcomes that don't align with my current goals, so it's something I need to keep an eye on.7 -
wilson10102018 wrote: »callsitlikeiseeit wrote: »wilson10102018 wrote: »dralicephd wrote: »The difference between this thread and a "drunkalog" is that food isn't forbidden. We have to eat foods. I'm finding it quite insightful to see how small changes in diet can have huge impacts on calorie consumption and health. @wunderkindking 's response is a great example of how small changes to condiments can make a big difference.
Well, it isn't any big deal to me, but reveling in the debasing excesses of the past is not my idea of healthy dialogue. I'm also not a fan of hot dog eating contests. And, of course, there is nothing wrong or forbidden about alcohol.
not much amuses you......
Its funny that you say that. My principal problem is guilt for how lucky I am and have been. I can't think of anything in my life I want for or would even change. I love this program and I love dieting and counting calories. From day 1 I've lost weight exactly as planned, now 72 pounds down to 170. Maintained without gain for two years. My graph has no peaks and valleys, only a nice gentle slope and a two year plateau.
And, my only sadness is having to stand by and see others in pain, and frustration. A drunkalog is the manifestation of that pain. Let's call it a "bingealog" as relates to compulsive eating. Would you think that a person recovering from obsessive sexual fantasies would benefit from recounting the fantasies of the past to laypersons in a forum?
i cant speak to obsessive sexual fantasies (where the ever loving eff did THAT come from) but having been in a 20 year long SEVERELY abusive marriage, i CAN tell you I LEARNED from THOSE mistakes (as in the TYPE of person he was and the red flags given LONG before i married him), and have no problem discussing and reflecting on those mistakes, just as I have no problem looking back on the mistakes I made which resulted in severe weight gain (you could probably say they were tied up together, my therapist certainly would). If you do not LEARN from your past, the saying goes and the historian in me will agree, you are doomed to repeat it.
In any case, I dont know that any of us are SAD on this thread. Maybe sad for how we treated our bodies. I am certain we ALL wish we could eat whatever we want and not gain weight LOL meet my husband. he's one of those mother effers who CAN (lord I hate him for it LOLOL) but... he also never sits still. never. ever ever ever. he makes speedy gonzales look lazy LMAO
In short, I think you may be projecting your OWN feelings about food and your previous eating habits on everyone else on this thread, and if the topic bothers you, perhaps you should not read and follow it.12 -
I. I think if you are someone who can equate how you used to eat with obsessive sexual fantasies you are an outlier in some regard and would benefit from some psychological, professional, assistance regarding intrusive thoughts. Some people have those. Not everyone does.
For me this is a thread of 'I learned things'.
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My worst was during my doctorate because I worked 16 hour days including weekends, had no time to cook and no access to a fridge at the hospital. The hospital cafeteria was gross and way too expensive for my broke *kitten*, and there were no stores or restaurants nearby, and even if there were, I didn't have so much as 10 minutes in my day to go find food.
So I would bring non-perishables like granola bars, but mostly lived on endless coffee with a ton of cream in it just to get calories and stave off gut rot, and then get home exhausted and inhale an entire frozen pizza and drink wine until I fell asleep. Repeat for a few years.
Everyone in the program gained a ton of weight except for the ones who abused Adderall, or the ones who still lived with their parents who made them balanced meals and sent them to school with sandwiches.
Even then, we all looked like total dumpster fires by the end of it. No one came out looking nearly as healthy as they started, but it was a matter of survival, we did our best, so no shame here.3 -
There are two periods in my life that I would consider the worst. One is when I would try to diet to lose some weight, and either restricted too severely or just wasn't eating the right kind of things to keep me satiated for longer periods. This lead to some pretty serious binges--to the point of extreme nausea and sometimes trying to make myself vomit (which never worked due to my fear of vomiting). Some of my favorite things to binge on were trail mix and those frosted animal cookies with pink frosting. Thinking about them now more than 20 years later still makes me feel a bit nauseous. However, once I got going I could binge on a lot of different stuff. If I was bingeing on sweet stuff, I might switch to salty/savory foods mod-binge.
The 2nd time was in college. I ate a lot of junk and just didn't care. That's probably a pretty typical pattern though, but because I already had a bit of a weight problem, I think my moderation of those foods was even worse than your typical college student and the freshman 15. I barely ate anything nutritious--like sleeves of saltines with tons of peanut butter was a typical meal, or ordering an equivalent of DW's blizzard from the local I've cream place and having it delivered, or cheese sticks upon cheese sticks with ranch dressing.
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I had tea or coffee for breakfast.
And then I would get deep into a project.
And I would forget to eat. Then I would become ravenous, and stuff myself with whatever was available. Thereby overeating.
This was my typical day for decades.2 -
I don't remember, really. And that was part of the problem. If foods I liked (even kind of) presented themselves, I tended to eat them. Food is tasty, I like pleasure, y'know? If you'd asked me on Wednesday to list the things I'd eaten on Tuesday, I would've have had mildly limited ability to do that.
Mostly, I eat the same foods now (in maintenance) that I ate when when I was class 1 obese, just in different portion sizes, proportions, and frequencies. Probably a few things have dropped out of my eating completely, or nearly so, as not worth their calories, but not dramatically many.wilson10102018 wrote: »callsitlikeiseeit wrote: »wilson10102018 wrote: »dralicephd wrote: »The difference between this thread and a "drunkalog" is that food isn't forbidden. We have to eat foods. I'm finding it quite insightful to see how small changes in diet can have huge impacts on calorie consumption and health. @wunderkindking 's response is a great example of how small changes to condiments can make a big difference.
Well, it isn't any big deal to me, but reveling in the debasing excesses of the past is not my idea of healthy dialogue. I'm also not a fan of hot dog eating contests. And, of course, there is nothing wrong or forbidden about alcohol.
not much amuses you......
Its funny that you say that. My principal problem is guilt for how lucky I am and have been. I can't think of anything in my life I want for or would even change. I love this program and I love dieting and counting calories. From day 1 I've lost weight exactly as planned, now 72 pounds down to 170. Maintained without gain for two years. My graph has no peaks and valleys, only a nice gentle slope and a two year plateau.
And, my only sadness is having to stand by and see others in pain, and frustration. A drunkalog is the manifestation of that pain. Let's call it a "bingealog" as relates to compulsive eating. Would you think that a person recovering from obsessive sexual fantasies would benefit from recounting the fantasies of the past to laypersons in a forum?
I think that's kind of ridiculous, as a (supposedly) general observation. Eating 100 calories over maintenance daily, on average, is 10 pounds gain per year. That's easy. A lot of us do it that way, approximately. Add in a tendency to have less active jobs, less active hobbies/lifestyles as we age, and weight gain happens. Similar effect, if we've grown up in families where overweight was the norm, so overeating seems normal.
Certainly, pain, frustration, compulsion, binging is a thing for some. Maybe it was a thing for you? It's not how all of us got fat. Various low-drama lifestyles will result in excess weight, given some time.
Like you, I love counting calories. It lets me maximize pleasure within minimizing negative side effects. While I can't claim the level-line maintenance of extreme angelic virtue, I've been at a healthy weight (normal BMI) for 6+ years, and am around BMI 20-21 these days. Close enough.6 -
I've been on and off MFP for years (and my weight has reflected that). This time I really wanted to do things differently so that I could keep the weight off for good. To that end, I decided to check these message boards for the first time.Eating 100 calories over maintenance daily, on average, is 10 pounds gain per year. That's easy. A lot of us do it that way...
Understanding this simple concept has been a true light bulb moment for me. I've seen this expressed in a few other threads, but it is really highlighted here. Seeing how many people in this thread gained weight because of really small changes (and therefore lost weight by reversing those small changes!) has been a light bulb moment.
It's such a testament to how wrong our diet culture gets it. You don't have to starve yourself or workout for hours every day. Over time, small changes can and really do lead to big results.
I'm thankful for this thread.
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I've stayed out of this thread, and really haven't read past the OP, because it didn't feel like a healthy place for me. I don't want to think of what I eat as a sin that needs to be "confessed." But I came across this article that seemed relevant, and thought I would post it. Make of it what you will.
https://www.thelily.com/tiktoks-what-i-eat-in-a-day-trend-can-be-harmful-heres-why/2 -
lynn_glenmont wrote: »I've stayed out of this thread, and really haven't read past the OP, because it didn't feel like a healthy place for me. I don't want to think of what I eat as a sin that needs to be "confessed." But I came across this article that seemed relevant, and thought I would post it. Make of it what you will.
https://www.thelily.com/tiktoks-what-i-eat-in-a-day-trend-can-be-harmful-heres-why/
I'll agree that 'confess' sounds quite bad, but I think most of the people replying are taking it in a 'this is what I've learned'/'how far I've come' kind of way.
I don't think we're doing anything similar to what is talked about in that article, but I'll admit to not being easily triggered, with regards to food anyway - I can imagine that some people would prefer to stay away from these kinds of topics.5 -
right? if i were triggered easily, I wouldnt be able to go to the grocery store, or see my husband sit down and scarf down a bag of chips or tub of ice cream. In even more practical terms, I wouldnt be able to moderate the portion sizes of the junk foods I eat (because I do eat them, regularly).
I don't personally believe that total avoidance of an item or topic is a successful coping mechanism for long term healing or success in any matter. But that is years of therapy and weight loss success talking10 -
^^^^ She said it perfectly5
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Focus on the things you want more of. Talk about it, fantasize about it, brag about it as so many above have done. You'll get more of it. You don't have to have shame or regret but if you put it in the preset moment, it is your priority.
I usually tell my divorced buddies, "let's not talk about her anymore - good bad or indifferent." I think that is good advice too.2 -
I think that looking back for me, helps me. I remember how I used to eat, how mindlessly I would go back for 2nds and not even think about it. I ate pretty normally, just more than what my body was capable of handling and staying slim. Add in that I stopped being active and worked at a desk job where the most walking I did was to the printer and back (5 feet if that) and to the restroom. So because of this thread, I was able to remember how I used to be. And the changes I've made since then. It's been very therapeutic for me, and reading everyone else' "confessions" has also helped me to see that I wasn't the only one who ate like that.
An alcoholic in a 12 step program, looking back like this might trigger them. But that would be because even one drink could send them back into a spiral of drinking again. We still have to eat. I eat what I did before for the most part, just not as much. Looking back at how I ate, makes me proud of how far I've come, and gives me strength to continue on with the rest of my journey. Because if I've made it this far, it's no sweat in being able to keep going.3
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