WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR JUNE 2022
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cityjaneLondon wrote: »If I wanted to go on holiday I would just go on my own. If your husband is frail, then arrange care, family, friends, or professional. If he complains, too bad. You only get one life.
When I first said I wanted to go on my first cruise DH was just not prepared to consider it. He said he hated ships, the cold, (it was to the Arctic), and crowds of people. So in front of him I rang up and took an option on a cabin. When I put the phone down and said I had 24 hours to make up my mind, he said, "Well, I might, possibly, come with you."
I nearly fainted.
The rest is history!
When he had his hernia op, I got his sister to come, because I had a trip away with my girlfriends arranged. When he was having anxiety panic attacks and I was going away, his sister came and had to take him to the emergency room because they were so bad. Another time I had to drag him along on a girly trip because of his anxiety. They didn't mind, but I insisted he didn't join us for evening meals.
He still adores me.
I think now I would park him with the grandchildren!
We always have more choices than we think.
Love to all.
Heather UK xxxxxxxx
I just can't do that to my husband.
M in Oz
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These are my "holidays" ...
Today's Walk:
Machka in Oz3 -
Good Morning
Another sunny day here in York. Yesterday was the hottest day so far this year, it was exhausting! My niece visited, she needed a change of scenery, she doesn't get out much and I usually visit her. She only stayed a few hours, but I think she enjoyed the short break. She is still struggling with grief from her mum's passing, but it has only been 8 months.
Heather I envy your attitude, I wish I could feel confident in going on holiday on my own instead of wishing I had someone to go with.
I'm going to a birthday party today, it's my nephew's son, he's 2 years old. It's basically a family gathering to meet the little lad as he was born during the lockdown period. The party is at his grandma's house - (my sister in law) it's bad timing really as there's a Gay Pride march taking place in the city centre and some streets are closed for parties.
Better make a start on the day.
Take care and love to all
Viv UK
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Flea - That's wonderful! So pleased for you.
Travel - I'm on the flip side. My family traveled all over the western and central US until I was six years old, and then I traveled throughout all my adult life, 27 years as military and then a military wife, and the last 13 married to a man who loves to upstakes and relocate! I genuinely just don't want to travel anymore.
Other Reasons Not to Travel Other Than Just Being Sick of It:- 🛏 Other people's furniture: There are not now and have never been anyone else's cooties living in my bed except mine and my husband's, and ours have reached detente. Small amount of advice - never EVER sit on hotel furniture while naked. If possible, don't walk on the carpet barefoot either. Just saying.🤨
- ✈ Because of my reluctance to travel, I no longer have to enter a long, metal tube filled with cranky people, crying babies, germy children who kick the back of my seat, and recycled air in order to get someplace I don't want to go.✈
- 🚽 The only decent thing about plane travel is that there's a toilet in the cabin. That is the major drawback of driving. I've driven through every state but Hawaii, and have used the facilities at hundreds of gas stations, fast-food restaurants, stores, and hair salons, just to name a few. If people came with odometers, mine would have flipped back over to zero again.
Oh - and bonus: Camping is just pretending you're homeless.
Machka - Worrying about you, with two meltdowns in recent weeks (whether for good reason or not, still worrying). Could you ask the kids to come to stay for a week or so and take care of your DH while you take a nice long break?
OK, finally yawning again, time to go back to bed.
Later, y'all,
Love,
Lisa2 -
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Lisa - that's why we have taken to cruising. Cooties don't bother me, but planes etc do. I prefer trains and earplugs if pushed and travel at quiet times if possible. Never weekends.
We are so lucky to be picked up in a nice big car from our house, no bag carrying, and welcomed with a bottle of champagne into a huge suite, with private dining if we want and a butler. Two toilets! I am, of course, spending any money that I might need for my old, old age, but I would prefer to leave this world with nothing at all. Broke , but with great memories. 👍
Went for a run this morning before it gets hot, hot, hot. I nearly tripped up coming home, but saved myself. Close shave. I may have pulled something in my thigh, but I think all will be well.
I went out early and took this peaceful picture.
By the time I had turned around and came back the beach was filling up.
Love Heather UK xxxxxx SKI
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LisaInArkansas wrote: »Machka - Worrying about you, with two meltdowns in recent weeks (whether for good reason or not, still worrying). Could you ask the kids to come to stay for a week or so and take care of your DH while you take a nice long break?
Later, y'all,
Love,
Lisa
I'm worried about me too. I'll know more next week.I do a lot of box breathing and it does seem to lower my BP a bit.
Breathe in to a count of 4.
Hold for a count of 4.
Breathe out to a count of 4.
Hold for a count of 4.
The month started with me leaving my phone on the bus and having to put my cards on hold. I got the phone back 3 days later, but it took about a week to regain access to most things, except my bank card and phone internet access. I think my bank card should be OK now - I had to get a new one! I was in the bank yesterday trying to get it to work. If it is OK, I can set my phone internet access back up again.
Meanwhile I've been pulling everything off OneDrive and have been tightening the security on other things.
All the while being out at work 4 days a week, 10 hours a day and producing large legal documents in the evenings.
But wait, there's more.
I've also been for a lot of blood tests, an ultrasound, a glucose tolerance test and an MRI this month. I've had three doctor's appointments, and another one next week and have referrals to three specialists. It's all in an effort to chase something up that started with tingly feet. I'll know more next week.
Breathe in to a count of 4.
Hold for a count of 4.
Breathe out to a count of 4.
Hold for a count of 4.
Machka in Oz
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Machka - I understand your stress over all these worries. It must be a hugely difficult time, not knowing your medical outcomes yet, and the legal business over your husband. It's a wonder you are still standing!
Viv - Why don't you try an escorted tour? I went on one to Jordan one Christmas when I was divorced and single. It was fabulous. Nearly all of us of us were singletons. We were very well looked after. There are great hobby holidays as well. Lots of like-minded women. Feeling nervous and uncomfortable is perfectly normal at first, you won't be the only one with nerves. I have terrible nerves whenever I go anywhere, total waves of panic, but it's always worth it. Saga have around 120 single cabins on each boat! They also do other escorted tours with transport to airports included.
Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway.
Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx2 -
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Early Saturday morning here!
Lisa - "Camping is just pretending you're homeless." Agree! My idea of camping is in a 35' fully equipped Winnebago with toilet, shower, etc. With some fun girlfriends.
Meg - DH and I raised several litters of beagles. Loved them, very affectionate. But I know what you mean, ours were ruled by their noses. We once nearly lost Trooper and Scout overnight in a forest near North Bend, WA, where they took off after something and there was no calling them back. We were heartbroken. The next morning I called in sick, returned to where we last saw them, near a busy logging road, and there they were, no worse for wear. Little twerps.
Debbie - so glad MIL is willing to use the commode. My DH actually quit smoking the last week of his life, though he had cut down considerably prior to that. That last week, he would say "I'm going out and roll a smoke" then either was too frail to roll one or forgot and would sit on his bench and watch the birds. It's interesting looking back now at how rapidly he was deteriorating, things I didn't realize when I was in the midst of it. That tobacco has mega control over their brains like any drug I guess. There are still pouches of tobacco stuck here and there I need to collect and toss into the garbage. I am pretty sure tobacco contributed somewhat to his death (he didn't have any cancer), but I think the main culprit was the many drugs he was taking for his Rheumatoid Arthritis and their various side effects. And more drugs to handle THOSE side effects. Sigh.
Barbara - I didn't sleep well, dreaming about grass in the driveway and re-graveling it, lol. Our house is about the same distance as yours from the county road. With houses beyond yours, it makes sense your lane is more heavily traveled and subject to wear/ruts. Since there's a new home, I'm guessing the building department assessed the road recently in conjunction with issuing that building permit, so road graveling/maintenance should be fine.
Rita - whenever Elon Musk or whoever gets that teleporter going, make sure to sign up! That way you can come visit us for a change of pace and get away from that heat and your DH if he's having a grumpy day. A balmy 62 predicted here for today so bring a sweater or two.
Like Lisa, when DH was in the Marines I got to live in Arlington VA for a year and we went exploring a lot, spend time on the beach at Chesapeake Bay, hike a bit along the Appalachian Trail, see some historical sites. So I've dipped my toes in both oceans, and have had my fill of flying and traveling.
Visitor - with my broken toe keeping me from walking with my buddy for a while, she has taken to come visit me. A lot. Other than Rosie barking and pestering her, it's pretty peaceful here in my living room. The first couple times were good, but now she's been keen to come every day. Half an hour would be fine, but 1 1/2 to 2 hours at a time makes me really tired and we are starting to rehash prior conversations we've had and it makes me antsy
I know she has had a stressful week with one of her kids suffering mental illness and her upcoming knee replacement surgery, I'm glad I was here for her. She had to shed a few tears, it's safe here with me. She's doing better and the conversation is back to how she is washing all of the blinds in her house, lol. And I'm getting tired of hearing myself comment about how my broken toe and the weather is keeping me from getting stuff done outside.
And, I think she feels like with DH gone I'm lonely and need company. Nothing could be further from the truth. I truly am enjoying peace and quiet and being alone with my thoughts, planning the budget, planning meals and grocery shopping (Sue ) doing a bit of cleaning. When I need company I call someone or email. There were so many things I didn't have control over when DH was here, and now I can start to regain some control over my time and activities.
My INTJ personality is coming on strong and the "I = introvert" part means I don't get energy from being around other people for very long. Small doses are energizing but beyond that, very tiring and stressful.
Carol - so sorry to hear about the A/C on the fritz for your renters. I saw little "room coolers" at Walmart, when I guess they blow cool air on folks and can cool a small room. I'm hoping the renters can make do. I know it can be a worry. Until we had the thermostat replaced, our heat pump seemed to always go on the fritz - turn the heat ON! during hot weather so we got used to open windows and fans on the rare occasions the temps hit the mid-upper 90's here.
Pip - Poor Kirby! And you! What a year for you both. Hope Yogi is on the mend and Kirby feels good enough to run the marathon.
OK kids, that's the quick catch up for now. Make it a wonderful weekend!
Lanette
SW WA State
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Lanette - I'm INTJ too.
Can you set some boundaries with your friend?
Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx2 -
Morning ladies
Lisa- you always make me chuckle with the way you tell a story..
I dont travel much anymore either,my son Dan is flying to LA on Tuesday and im terrified that they will cancel the flight ,he is 37 yrs old and i think this is his first time flying.. its a non stop ,but they are canceling flights all over because they dont have enough pilots..do ya'll keep your fingers crossed his trip goes off without a hitch.
My daughter and her family are going to the aquarium today.. like I said I got them a membership for Christmas so it can be a family thing...3 -
There is one trip I'd really like to take.
I'd like to take a month off, fly to Canada, spend time with my family, and cycle & travel around their area a bit. And I'd like to do that with my husband.
We did that 5 years ago, but I have trouble even imagining it now.
A lot of things would have to happen before that could happen again.
Meanwhile, fortunately Tasmania is pretty ... this isn't too far from where we live ...
https://www.flickr.com/photos/machka-bb/albums/72177720299893609
Machka in Oz11 -
cityjaneLondon wrote: »Lanette - I'm INTJ too.
Can you set some boundaries with your friend?
Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx
Heather - yes, I'm going to text her that I'm not up to company today, allergies kicking in (truth). She has normally been good about me saying, in the past, "don't feel like walking today." We both have. I think this DH passing thing has just thrown a new wrinkle into everything, at least from my perspective.
I caught myself day before yesterday making up a flimsy excuse as to why I didn't want her to visit - attorney going to call in the morning (truth) and I was going to mow in the afternoon (lie.)
And I thought, I don't want it to be like that. So I'll get back to just saying "no."
She made an odd comment to me a while back, that I'm the first true girlfriend she's ever had. Her whole life has revolved around her work, her family, her church.
So I ponder what it must be like to not have memories with girlfriends - the kind of memories that I share with my girlfriends and even high school classmates over the decades, like you do. I get a lot of joy reminiscing about silly stuff we did in the past - little threads and comments on Facebook, for example. They instantly take me back to good times.
And to not have someone to share those types of memories with ... hard for me to imagine.
Lanette
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For any of you not familiar with breathing exercises, check out Patrick McKeown. I've watched a lot of his videos over the past couple years. Very informative, as is James Nestor's "Breath" book.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sPB6jvOvjm41 -
SophieRosieMom wrote: »She made an odd comment to me a while back, that I'm the first true girlfriend she's ever had. Her whole life has revolved around her work, her family, her church.
So I ponder what it must be like to not have memories with girlfriends - the kind of memories that I share with my girlfriends and even high school classmates over the decades, like you do. I get a lot of joy reminiscing about silly stuff we did in the past - little threads and comments on Facebook, for example. They instantly take me back to good times.
And to not have someone to share those types of memories with ... hard for me to imagine.
Lanette
It's hard for me to imagine having memories with girlfriends.
I had female friends in high school and during my first degree, and I am still friends with a few of them on Facebook, but I wouldn't say we're close. A few of them are close with each other, but I'm like a remote onlooker. It's somewhat comforting to see that they're still there - maintaining a small connection to a distant part of my past - and we exchange comments now and then.
And there are two ladies, work colleagues, I developed something of a friendship with the most recent time I lived in Alberta, but again, I wouldn't say we're close - we didn't do much out of work, just the very occasional dinner. We also exchange comments now and then on FB.
But I have never been a "girlfriend" type of person.
I've watched Sex and the City and one of the things I've found intriguing is this group of 4 women who get together for brunch once a week to catch up on each other's lives, and who do things together in the group of 4 or some smaller combination quite regularly. I've never had that. I've never done that. The rest of the program kind of blurs together, but that part, the group of 4 women getting together stands out to me as something unique.
I've always been busy doing my own thing, and the ladies who have drifted in and out of my life haven't been interested in what I do. There aren't many women who are into long, long, long, long distance cycling.
I've tended to have closer relationships with guys. I find I understand guys better - they tend to be more straightforward and more willing to do interesting things like going on long, long, long, long distance bicycle rides.
M in Oz5 -
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I am having a quiet morning and enjoying birdsongs. DH is not up yet and I plan to take a pot coffee upstairs to share with him. ⭐️ ❤️ 🌸4
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