What's on your mind?

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Replies

  • ___Soundwave___
    ___Soundwave___ Posts: 1,190 Member
    OpheliaCooter wrote: »
    Everything. Everything seems to be crashing around me at the same time. Things were looking up, now they’re looking down. Idk why everything has to be a constant uphill battle.
    We had an sort of inspection today and the office wants to discuss something but didn’t say what. The apartment is an absolute disaster. I’m sure that’s what it’s about. Idk what’s so wrong with me that I let it get so bad. It’s like I woke up and looked around for the first time like wow…. This is bad. I let things get really bad. I don’t want to be like this. Like, I bought stuff a month or two ago to decorate with that are just sitting in the closet or laying around. Left my clean cloths that just need hanging up in a pile on the floor for at least a month now. It’s so dumb and horribly embarrassing.
    Take out cartons, open mail, empty boxes, dirty cups. I don’t wanna live like this but here I am. Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow. I always feel too tired. Too tired to buy groceries and I order out again. Too tired.
    Like I keep myself and my clothes clean, go to work and pay my bills but that’s all I’ve been managing. It’s not enough. Like how do I expect someone to love me when I clearly do not give af. I wouldn’t love me either. I’m like, trash. I’m already taking sertraline so I guess that’s either wearing off again (higher tolerance) or it’s barely keeping my head above water and I should actually go to therapy.
    There’s a ton of appointments I should make but I guess I’ve decided that that’s also too difficult. I’m living yet another summer without air in my car when I’m sure it just needs Freon. Like this is the third year I’ve put it off. I’m out here suffering for YEARS and for what? Why am I like this?
    My situationship has been mia today and I’m stressed about it. But like…… why would anyone want to have anything to do with me anyway? I’m disgusting. I’m a whole mess. I can’t seem to work up the courage to clarify what we’re even doing because I don’t want it to be over. I’m afraid it’s going to be over.
    But like, when he discovers the real me I’m sure he’d go running anyway. I’m not very impressive. Plus who knows who he’s entertaining right now. Maybe no one, maybe someone. And why not? I’m hardly a prize. I’m a mess.

    My health has been bad and still is. I’m almost done with my antibiotics for whatever this tonsil thing is but I feel like they’re swelling again. I probably have to see a specialist. My ear has been very weird in the same side my worse tonsil is on. Even as I type this my while throat feels painful and like I’m slowly choking.
    Had to pay a lot of money to a lawyer to handle a ticket. Hooray.
    That new job I’ve been bragging about is whooping my whole *kitten*. It’s soooooo hot out and they’re over working us. I thought I was going to pass out my first day out of training. Turned out I was not really trained at all and looked stupid the entire time. I’m sore head to toe and bruised up everywhere from all the luggage. Have to scrape the plane dirt off my legs with my nails it sticks on so hard. Trying to stay hydrated is a losing battle.
    I have to see higher ups about my attendance which I’m sure is about a few weeks ago when I had covid. I have proof though so hopefully everything goes smooth.
    My bank is glitching.
    I just have all these tasks to do and I just go online or go to sleep instead. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow when I’m not so tired. I’m always so tired.
    😕 I’m in a pit of depression yet again aren’t I? Every time I think I’m getting out I fall right back in. 🤙🏻

    You're a good person. Being tired isn't a crime. It certainly doesn't make you trash. Just pick your battles. If your place is messy, you can clean it up when you feel like it. Nobody is your judge about what you have the resources to do.

    Things will bounce back. Keep your chin up.
  • threewins
    threewins Posts: 1,455 Member
    I'm teaching myself the native language of my girlfriend. There are essentially zero resources out there to learn it, with the exception of my girlfriend, a smartphone and the ability to record sounds. Anyway I kind of messed up by learning 1,000 words which is heavy going. What I should have done is learned phrases at the same time as learning words, the variety would have made it feel less drudgery.
  • twitchymcgee
    twitchymcgee Posts: 769 Member
    threewins wrote: »
    I'm teaching myself the native language of my girlfriend. There are essentially zero resources out there to learn it, with the exception of my girlfriend, a smartphone and the ability to record sounds. Anyway I kind of messed up by learning 1,000 words which is heavy going. What I should have done is learned phrases at the same time as learning words, the variety would have made it feel less drudgery.

    This is a beautiful thing you’re doing and a perfect example of if they wanted to they would.
  • twitchymcgee
    twitchymcgee Posts: 769 Member
    OpheliaCooter wrote: »
    Everything. Everything seems to be crashing around me at the same time. Things were looking up, now they’re looking down. Idk why everything has to be a constant uphill battle.
    We had an sort of inspection today and the office wants to discuss something but didn’t say what. The apartment is an absolute disaster. I’m sure that’s what it’s about. Idk what’s so wrong with me that I let it get so bad. It’s like I woke up and looked around for the first time like wow…. This is bad. I let things get really bad. I don’t want to be like this. Like, I bought stuff a month or two ago to decorate with that are just sitting in the closet or laying around. Left my clean cloths that just need hanging up in a pile on the floor for at least a month now. It’s so dumb and horribly embarrassing.
    Take out cartons, open mail, empty boxes, dirty cups. I don’t wanna live like this but here I am. Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow. I always feel too tired. Too tired to buy groceries and I order out again. Too tired.
    Like I keep myself and my clothes clean, go to work and pay my bills but that’s all I’ve been managing. It’s not enough. Like how do I expect someone to love me when I clearly do not give af. I wouldn’t love me either. I’m like, trash. I’m already taking sertraline so I guess that’s either wearing off again (higher tolerance) or it’s barely keeping my head above water and I should actually go to therapy.
    There’s a ton of appointments I should make but I guess I’ve decided that that’s also too difficult. I’m living yet another summer without air in my car when I’m sure it just needs Freon. Like this is the third year I’ve put it off. I’m out here suffering for YEARS and for what? Why am I like this?
    My situationship has been mia today and I’m stressed about it. But like…… why would anyone want to have anything to do with me anyway? I’m disgusting. I’m a whole mess. I can’t seem to work up the courage to clarify what we’re even doing because I don’t want it to be over. I’m afraid it’s going to be over.
    But like, when he discovers the real me I’m sure he’d go running anyway. I’m not very impressive. Plus who knows who he’s entertaining right now. Maybe no one, maybe someone. And why not? I’m hardly a prize. I’m a mess.

    My health has been bad and still is. I’m almost done with my antibiotics for whatever this tonsil thing is but I feel like they’re swelling again. I probably have to see a specialist. My ear has been very weird in the same side my worse tonsil is on. Even as I type this my while throat feels painful and like I’m slowly choking.
    Had to pay a lot of money to a lawyer to handle a ticket. Hooray.
    That new job I’ve been bragging about is whooping my whole *kitten*. It’s soooooo hot out and they’re over working us. I thought I was going to pass out my first day out of training. Turned out I was not really trained at all and looked stupid the entire time. I’m sore head to toe and bruised up everywhere from all the luggage. Have to scrape the plane dirt off my legs with my nails it sticks on so hard. Trying to stay hydrated is a losing battle.
    I have to see higher ups about my attendance which I’m sure is about a few weeks ago when I had covid. I have proof though so hopefully everything goes smooth.
    My bank is glitching.
    I just have all these tasks to do and I just go online or go to sleep instead. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow when I’m not so tired. I’m always so tired.
    😕 I’m in a pit of depression yet again aren’t I? Every time I think I’m getting out I fall right back in. 🤙🏻

    This sounds so painful. I’m sorry you’re struggling through this. Please hold on and reach out for whatever help and resources are available to you. Please know that even strangers have been touched by your presence in the world.❤️
  • ReenieHJ
    ReenieHJ Posts: 9,723 Member
    @OpheliaCooter It sounds like your meds. may need to be assessed and/or changed. Depression can be such an uphill battle but the source to so much pain and overwhelming feelings of everything. :( Plus it's emotionally and physically exhausting.

    I wish you the very best, please see a doctor again soon. Tell them everything you said here. It sounds like you need more support. We're not always made to go it alone. Reach out, please. Life will be, should be, and can be better for you. Life is too short to suffer like this.

    Huge {{HUGS}} to you....... <3
  • glassyo
    glassyo Posts: 7,836 Member
    OpheliaCooter wrote: »
    Everything. Everything seems to be crashing around me at the same time. Things were looking up, now they’re looking down. Idk why everything has to be a constant uphill battle.
    We had an sort of inspection today and the office wants to discuss something but didn’t say what. The apartment is an absolute disaster. I’m sure that’s what it’s about. Idk what’s so wrong with me that I let it get so bad. It’s like I woke up and looked around for the first time like wow…. This is bad. I let things get really bad. I don’t want to be like this. Like, I bought stuff a month or two ago to decorate with that are just sitting in the closet or laying around. Left my clean cloths that just need hanging up in a pile on the floor for at least a month now. It’s so dumb and horribly embarrassing.
    Take out cartons, open mail, empty boxes, dirty cups. I don’t wanna live like this but here I am. Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow. I always feel too tired. Too tired to buy groceries and I order out again. Too tired.
    Like I keep myself and my clothes clean, go to work and pay my bills but that’s all I’ve been managing. It’s not enough. Like how do I expect someone to love me when I clearly do not give af. I wouldn’t love me either. I’m like, trash. I’m already taking sertraline so I guess that’s either wearing off again (higher tolerance) or it’s barely keeping my head above water and I should actually go to therapy.
    There’s a ton of appointments I should make but I guess I’ve decided that that’s also too difficult. I’m living yet another summer without air in my car when I’m sure it just needs Freon. Like this is the third year I’ve put it off. I’m out here suffering for YEARS and for what? Why am I like this?
    My situationship has been mia today and I’m stressed about it. But like…… why would anyone want to have anything to do with me anyway? I’m disgusting. I’m a whole mess. I can’t seem to work up the courage to clarify what we’re even doing because I don’t want it to be over. I’m afraid it’s going to be over.
    But like, when he discovers the real me I’m sure he’d go running anyway. I’m not very impressive. Plus who knows who he’s entertaining right now. Maybe no one, maybe someone. And why not? I’m hardly a prize. I’m a mess.

    My health has been bad and still is. I’m almost done with my antibiotics for whatever this tonsil thing is but I feel like they’re swelling again. I probably have to see a specialist. My ear has been very weird in the same side my worse tonsil is on. Even as I type this my while throat feels painful and like I’m slowly choking.
    Had to pay a lot of money to a lawyer to handle a ticket. Hooray.
    That new job I’ve been bragging about is whooping my whole *kitten*. It’s soooooo hot out and they’re over working us. I thought I was going to pass out my first day out of training. Turned out I was not really trained at all and looked stupid the entire time. I’m sore head to toe and bruised up everywhere from all the luggage. Have to scrape the plane dirt off my legs with my nails it sticks on so hard. Trying to stay hydrated is a losing battle.
    I have to see higher ups about my attendance which I’m sure is about a few weeks ago when I had covid. I have proof though so hopefully everything goes smooth.
    My bank is glitching.
    I just have all these tasks to do and I just go online or go to sleep instead. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow when I’m not so tired. I’m always so tired.
    😕 I’m in a pit of depression yet again aren’t I? Every time I think I’m getting out I fall right back in. 🤙🏻

    This is completely heartbreaking. And a tiny bit relative because I had less than 24 hours notice they were doing the semi annual apartment inspections today and tomorrow so I had major cleaning to do. Plus what comes with waiting to see if I passed the stupid inspection.

    Also, you're me. Just ramped up to 11.

    I REALLY hope this is a drug thing because you do NOT deserve to think of yourself in this way.

    And if your situationship (I love that word) can't take the bad with the good, you don't belong with him/her/them. Being alone as you work on making yourself happy is not a bad thing. It may actually help.
  • honey_honey_12
    honey_honey_12 Posts: 15,880 Member
    Tex-Mex 🤤

    7rtuvanc9jxa.jpeg
  • R3d_butt3rfly_
    R3d_butt3rfly_ Posts: 1,711 Member
    OpheliaCooter wrote: »
    Everything. Everything seems to be crashing around me at the same time. Things were looking up, now they’re looking down. Idk why everything has to be a constant uphill battle.
    We had an sort of inspection today and the office wants to discuss something but didn’t say what. The apartment is an absolute disaster. I’m sure that’s what it’s about. Idk what’s so wrong with me that I let it get so bad. It’s like I woke up and looked around for the first time like wow…. This is bad. I let things get really bad. I don’t want to be like this. Like, I bought stuff a month or two ago to decorate with that are just sitting in the closet or laying around. Left my clean cloths that just need hanging up in a pile on the floor for at least a month now. It’s so dumb and horribly embarrassing.
    Take out cartons, open mail, empty boxes, dirty cups. I don’t wanna live like this but here I am. Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow. I always feel too tired. Too tired to buy groceries and I order out again. Too tired.
    Like I keep myself and my clothes clean, go to work and pay my bills but that’s all I’ve been managing. It’s not enough. Like how do I expect someone to love me when I clearly do not give af. I wouldn’t love me either. I’m like, trash. I’m already taking sertraline so I guess that’s either wearing off again (higher tolerance) or it’s barely keeping my head above water and I should actually go to therapy.
    There’s a ton of appointments I should make but I guess I’ve decided that that’s also too difficult. I’m living yet another summer without air in my car when I’m sure it just needs Freon. Like this is the third year I’ve put it off. I’m out here suffering for YEARS and for what? Why am I like this?
    My situationship has been mia today and I’m stressed about it. But like…… why would anyone want to have anything to do with me anyway? I’m disgusting. I’m a whole mess. I can’t seem to work up the courage to clarify what we’re even doing because I don’t want it to be over. I’m afraid it’s going to be over.
    But like, when he discovers the real me I’m sure he’d go running anyway. I’m not very impressive. Plus who knows who he’s entertaining right now. Maybe no one, maybe someone. And why not? I’m hardly a prize. I’m a mess.

    My health has been bad and still is. I’m almost done with my antibiotics for whatever this tonsil thing is but I feel like they’re swelling again. I probably have to see a specialist. My ear has been very weird in the same side my worse tonsil is on. Even as I type this my while throat feels painful and like I’m slowly choking.
    Had to pay a lot of money to a lawyer to handle a ticket. Hooray.
    That new job I’ve been bragging about is whooping my whole *kitten*. It’s soooooo hot out and they’re over working us. I thought I was going to pass out my first day out of training. Turned out I was not really trained at all and looked stupid the entire time. I’m sore head to toe and bruised up everywhere from all the luggage. Have to scrape the plane dirt off my legs with my nails it sticks on so hard. Trying to stay hydrated is a losing battle.
    I have to see higher ups about my attendance which I’m sure is about a few weeks ago when I had covid. I have proof though so hopefully everything goes smooth.
    My bank is glitching.
    I just have all these tasks to do and I just go online or go to sleep instead. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow when I’m not so tired. I’m always so tired.
    😕 I’m in a pit of depression yet again aren’t I? Every time I think I’m getting out I fall right back in. 🤙🏻

    I just want to hug you. No one should feel this hopeless. You have come to the realization that you deserve more.. so much more. All you need to do now is take the first step (whatever that may be) to getting yourself out of this whole. Best of luck to you ❤
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,456 Member
    @OpheliaCooter I wish I had a magic wand I could wave and help you.. but I don't 😔 all I can say is hang in there girl and ride out the crap... better days will come. Biggest of hugs to you..
  • PaperDoll_
    PaperDoll_ Posts: 32,857 Member
    MelG7777 wrote: »
    I wish I was a little bit taller.

    I wish I was as tall as you 😑😂
  • PaperDoll_
    PaperDoll_ Posts: 32,857 Member
    MelG7777 wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    MelG7777 wrote: »
    I wish I was a little bit taller.

    I wish I was as tall as you 😑😂

    Are you? I’m not taller am I? I wish I was a little bit taller.

    I’m pretty certain you are. I’m 5’2”

    And a half. 🦒
  • ReenieHJ
    ReenieHJ Posts: 9,723 Member
    MelG7777 wrote: »
    I wish I was a little bit taller.

    I'll give you a couple of my inches if you'll take the pounds that'd go with it.
  • twitchymcgee
    twitchymcgee Posts: 769 Member
    pounding inches
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,456 Member
    honey_honey_12 wrote: »
    1s04m6126zo8.jpeg

    v3g9blu27y90.jpeg


    Oscar, my grandcat.
    My son sent me videos as well, I had to delete them off my phone.
    I can’t stand to even touch the screen.
    😮😳🥺

    Aww kitty found a play mate 😂
  • PaperDoll_
    PaperDoll_ Posts: 32,857 Member
    honey_honey_12 wrote: »
    1s04m6126zo8.jpeg

    v3g9blu27y90.jpeg


    Oscar, my grandcat.
    My son sent me videos as well, I had to delete them off my phone.
    I can’t stand to even touch the screen.
    😮😳🥺

    But it’s kinda cute 🕷 😂
  • ReenieHJ
    ReenieHJ Posts: 9,723 Member
    @honey_honey_12 That thing almost needs a leash.
  • twitchymcgee
    twitchymcgee Posts: 769 Member
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    twitchymcgee wrote: »
    In the weeks & months following 9/11/01 I often commuted from Queens to Manhattan via bicycle to avoid public transportation.

    Now I am old and live rural and gas is over $5 per gallon and my job is only 7.5 hilly miles away and I’m scared I don’t remember how to change a flat but I’m going out to find a commuter bike today.

    Send good thoughts I don’t hurt my sorry old bones.

    my 2 cents..... find a good mountain bike and put some road worthy tires on it.

    Dammit I got a hybrid. Wish I had seen this earlier
  • twitchymcgee
    twitchymcgee Posts: 769 Member
    honey_honey_12 wrote: »
    1s04m6126zo8.jpeg

    v3g9blu27y90.jpeg


    Oscar, my grandcat.
    My son sent me videos as well, I had to delete them off my phone.
    I can’t stand to even touch the screen.
    😮😳🥺

    Grandcat 😊❤️
  • lx1x
    lx1x Posts: 38,332 Member
    eatpolerepeat wrote: »
    Arrghhhh, wishing I never came in this thread

    😂
  • honey_honey_12
    honey_honey_12 Posts: 15,880 Member
    I wish there was an “agree” as well as the like.
    I might not like the comment but I might agree with it.
    😏
  • cowsfan12
    cowsfan12 Posts: 6,536 Member
    MelG7777 wrote: »
    I wish I was a little bit taller.

    I wish I was a baller . So…..
  • cmsienk
    cmsienk Posts: 20,010 Member
    edited June 2022
    Banged my toes on the side of the bed this morning. All day they've been bothering me, but I was wearing sandals and didn't realize one of my toes was pretty swollen. So now I'm sitting on the couch, with my foot on 3 pillows and a bag of frozen peas on my toes - hoping my foot won't hurt when I put it in a real shoe tomorrow morning.
  • honey_honey_12
    honey_honey_12 Posts: 15,880 Member
    My ex husband
  • honey_honey_12
    honey_honey_12 Posts: 15,880 Member
    ___Soundwave___ wrote: »
    Luck. I narrowly escaped a serious high speed crash recently when a trucks unsecured load sent cars all around me swerving in every direction. We all avoided a crash.

    Glad you are okay!
    High speed with semis around can be bad news.

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