What nobody tells you about losing weight
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Exercising every day is utterly exhausting, and occasionally puts me into an absolute feeding frenzy.. but it has worked very well for me over the past few years.. 48 lbs down, 8 to go!18
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wateryphoenix wrote: »-You will discover bones you forgot (or never knew) you had.
-Support from friends/family can be pretty hit or miss.
-Not everyone will notice or comment on your loss. Most of my closest friends haven't said a word about me losing weight, but their families have, and my family has.
-Just because you lost weight doesn't mean you can go back to how you were before you were trying to lose weight. I know a few people who let themselves revert back to the old 'them', and they gained a lot of their weight back. This is a lifestyle change. A lifelong journey.
arditarose wrote: »How emotional it can be. Realizing you're almost 30 and you are smaller and weigh less than you did in middle school gets those feels going.
In the recovery rooms of addiction - it is said " you do not have to change anything,"you have to change everything." I find the weightloss journey is no different. Keep the Faith above all else..7 -
+ You realize you don't need to go into the handicap stall in the bathroom any more to feel like you have enough room. Strange things like that.
I have the same experience especially the past few months. Its like I still do not recognize the person I am working with. My effort has been the same, but now its visible. No the stakes are hirer when you are apart of social set with everyone else. You get used to being the outsider and the dynamic is very profound for many to witness. Least of all myself. .. "And no matter what it up to you - no one is coming to initiate the exercise or make the appropriate choices." - L.Pietig6 -
How easy it is to put it all back on... As a side note, great to see this post still going, considering the PO has been inactive since 2015
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I'm only 15 down out of ~100 to lose, so I wasn't expecting much yet. BUT yesterday I got two separate compliments on my shirt. It is my favorite shirt, and the compliments were about it rather than me - but I've worn the shirt so often before and this was the first time it was complimented. So, I'm claiming it!!!
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I love this post! So many positives as you all mentioned. My only issue these days is wishing I could use a iron to flatten and smooth my loose skin! Looks really horrible to me, but thankfully no one sees me naked! 😂10
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Nobody ever told me how matter-of-fact I would become about weight losses and gains. I took some time in untracked maintenance. I gained a little during that time. When I noticed my clothes were starting to be tighter and such I decided to go back to tracking and a deficit. But I didn't feel really guilty about it, the emotions about weight gains and loss were gone, it was more like, "okay, I was in a bit of a surplus apparently, I need to get back in a deficit and go the rest of the way to goal." Much more "cause and effect" in my thinking. When I started this I don't think I really thought I would ever lose the shame associated with needing to lose weight, but those internal sabotages are actually.... gone. I know what I need to do if I want to lose weight, and that's that. If I choose otherwise, I do so knowingly. The mystery is gone.28
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Right!! The mystery is gone. I remember trying to lose weight before the internet, and before MFP. It was impossible. I couldn't do it. I had no idea what I was doing and all I had was yo-yo Mom saying "eat half your food, then when you are at weight eat exactly the same as you did before you lost weight" thus the perpetual yo-yo that she is on to this day at 75. I simply could not eat half my food, I was unable to do it. I was eating a 2,000 calorie diet for a 5'3" sedentary lifestyle, so I was EXACTLY the weight that 2000 calories would be!! 220, for a very long time (a mystery then, but NOT a mystery now), until I had some feeding frenzies, illnesses, prednisone later and made it to 270.Sand_TIger wrote: »When I started this I don't think I really thought I would ever lose the shame associated with needing to lose weight, but those internal sabotages are actually.... gone. I know what I need to do if I want to lose weight, and that's that. If I choose otherwise, I do so knowingly. The mystery is gone.
I am so grateful for this knowledge, and honestly I find it so hard to see ladies just like I was and NOT say something. I want to go up to them, get their number, connect and help them lose a little bit of weight - they don't even have to lose the whole thing, just enough to know that they don't have to do something that they know they cannot do.
I have never heard this, thank you for sharing it! I did also have to change everything. While I did it little step by little step because I am one of those people who is not happy about change. But little bit by little bit, and the changes were sustainable. In fact, when I see people really change everything overnight dramatically in more than one area, unfortunately, I see a high degree of quitters. Not everyone, some can change like that and keep moving. But it seems that many are like me, and need to change everything a little bit at a time to keep moving on the weight loss journey without quitting.mikemaggiore3941 wrote: »In the recovery rooms of addiction - it is said "you do not have to change anything, you have to change everything." I find the weight loss journey is no different. Keep the Faith above all else..
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Sand_TIger wrote: »Nobody ever told me how matter-of-fact I would become about weight losses and gains. I took some time in untracked maintenance. I gained a little during that time. When I noticed my clothes were starting to be tighter and such I decided to go back to tracking and a deficit. But I didn't feel really guilty about it, the emotions about weight gains and loss were gone, it was more like, "okay, I was in a bit of a surplus apparently, I need to get back in a deficit and go the rest of the way to goal." Much more "cause and effect" in my thinking. When I started this I don't think I really thought I would ever lose the shame associated with needing to lose weight, but those internal sabotages are actually.... gone. I know what I need to do if I want to lose weight, and that's that. If I choose otherwise, I do so knowingly. The mystery is gone.
Yes. It's a science fair project, not a character test, let alone an epic battle between good and evil.21 -
justanotherloser007 wrote: »I find it so hard to see ladies just like I was and NOT say something. I want to go up to them, get their number, connect and help them lose a little bit of weight - they don't even have to lose the whole thing, just enough to know that they don't have to do something that they know they cannot do.
This. This this this OMG this.5 -
Kinda sucks to feel called to do the one thing nobody wants you to feel called for, lol.12
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IronPhyllida wrote: »How easy it is to put it all back on... As a side note, great to see this post still going, considering the PO has been inactive since 2015
I am so glad you said this about "putting it back on." I became a bit lax over the winter months, not working out as regularly and eating more cheat meals than normal. The weight started coming back fast!!4 -
No one had told me how much my self confidence would come back!! Or that I'd learn to like myself, and truly like myself. Both of these are the bonuses I never knew could happen. Also that a BFF would be so ANGRY at me for losing over 100 lbs. Her words were (A year ago, I had lost over 100 long before that) "I HATE THAT YOU DID THIS TO ME!! NOW I AM THE ONLY REALLY FAT ONE!" in the crowd we are around. I WAS STUNNED!! I did tell her "I didn't lose the weight to hurt you, I did lose the weight because I wanted to really enjoy life again, and I do." She retains that anger, in turn, I rarely have anything to do with her.27
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Dianedoessmiles1 wrote: »No one had told me how much my self confidence would come back!! Or that I'd learn to like myself, and truly like myself. Both of these are the bonuses I never knew could happen. Also that a BFF would be so ANGRY at me for losing over 100 lbs. Her words were (A year ago, I had lost over 100 long before that) "I HATE THAT YOU DID THIS TO ME!! NOW I AM THE ONLY REALLY FAT ONE!" in the crowd we are around. I WAS STUNNED!! I did tell her "I didn't lose the weight to hurt you, I did lose the weight because I wanted to really enjoy life again, and I do." She retains that anger, in turn, I rarely have anything to do with her.
I’m sorry that happened to you. People are weird.
Congratulations on losing over 100lbs5 -
Dianedoessmiles1 wrote: »No one had told me how much my self confidence would come back!! Or that I'd learn to like myself, and truly like myself. Both of these are the bonuses I never knew could happen. Also that a BFF would be so ANGRY at me for losing over 100 lbs. Her words were (A year ago, I had lost over 100 long before that) "I HATE THAT YOU DID THIS TO ME!! NOW I AM THE ONLY REALLY FAT ONE!" in the crowd we are around. I WAS STUNNED!! I did tell her "I didn't lose the weight to hurt you, I did lose the weight because I wanted to really enjoy life again, and I do." She retains that anger, in turn, I rarely have anything to do with her.
A friend that I work with recently had a Dr say, "Wow! Your losing weight. You look good." She replied, "Well I had too. With Mary losing all that weight, I was the fat one now."8 -
Countandsubtract wrote: »How many people would prefer that people comment on your weight loss? How many would prefer that they don't?
It seems like a lot of work to not get any recognition.
It depends on who it is. My next door neighbors, who I love, have been very excited about my weight loss (and the husband told me he has lost over a hundred pounds a couple years before) never upset me. And he mentions it practically every time I see him.
Absolute strangers… the man I never met before in my neighborhood who came running out of his house to tell me all these things about how excited he was for me and how much he has noticed all these specific things about my body changing… well he creeped me out and made me never want to leave the house again, honestly.
It depends on the context and who it is.
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I went to a funeral on Friday night and I was dreading it a little, since I was about to see people I was pretty close to and that I hadn't seen for around 2 years. I am 120 pounds down, 277 to 154 5'3". So since I have been on here I know that the responses will vary. But, oddly enough, what I thought should happen did happen.Countandsubtract wrote: »How many people would prefer that people comment on your weight loss? How many would prefer that they don't? It seems like a lot of work to not get any recognition.
A bunch of my friends walked up to my hubby to ask where I was. Yep, I was standing next to him and they did not recognize me. I don't either when I look in the mirror, I look so different. One friend did ask me how I did it, and then said I was too skinny (that was probably the closest to what people said might be the response after losing weight). Actually, it was nice to have the heads up about that one response, and I know to never be offended no matter what the reaction is. I mean, they are trying to wrap their head around my changes as much as I am. One friend made me laugh with the "you are looking really good! But you always looked good." lols. Honestly, I don't really feel good about the new me yet. Such an adjustment!
I have been married for 27 years, and the hubby is trying to adjust to the new me as well. I feel kind of like a sharpei most days. When we are intimate I TRY not to be awkward. But since I feel like I am in some weird sci-fi where I ended up in the future with a different body - I mean, awkward is just where it is right now. I am grateful the hubby is also trying to be patient with me, because he met me at size 18 over the years I ended up size 24/26 and I am a size 8 right now I think a small mostly.
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Countandsubtract wrote: »+ You realize you don't need to go into the handicap stall in the bathroom any more to feel like you have enough room. Strange things like that.
Pretty sure they're making the non-handicap ones smaller anyway. If my butt's on the seat and my knees are at a 90 degree angle, why are the arches of my feet directly under the door? (I don't have long legs.)
How many people would prefer that people comment on your weight loss? How many would prefer that they don't?
It seems like a lot of work to not get any recognition.
I lost about 80lbs.
I didn't lose weight for recognition.
I enjoyed a little praise/commentary the first time I saw people (wasn't seeing many for most of the lost) but it got old and embarrassing fast.
I don't like comments on my body at all, though. Didn't when I was fat, don't now. Please just leave me alone.8 -
I prefer no comments at all on my body or weight loss but I can accept them from my mum and sister and from people I've known for at least 6 months who are themselves fat or used to be fat. Everyone else is a hard no, it makes me feel awful. And it can't be "you look good" either. It can only be "hey, you look slimmer/thinner" and "I see the lines of your muscles now!".
"You look good" just tells me you're fatphobic because you didn't tell me I looked good when I was gaining weight and reached this number so you just hated the way I looked when I was fatter more than you hate the way I look now. I liked the way most of me looked at my heaviest and the one thing I didn't like was also there when I was only 5kg overweight.5 -
Oh, this makes me sad! I'm so sorry you lost your BFF over your success, when she should have just been happy for you. I have definitely been in that place where a friend's weight loss success annoyed me, but I knew it was because I was jealous and I never looked at it as them doing something TO me.Dianedoessmiles1 wrote: »No one had told me how much my self confidence would come back!! Or that I'd learn to like myself, and truly like myself. Both of these are the bonuses I never knew could happen. Also that a BFF would be so ANGRY at me for losing over 100 lbs. Her words were (A year ago, I had lost over 100 long before that) "I HATE THAT YOU DID THIS TO ME!! NOW I AM THE ONLY REALLY FAT ONE!" in the crowd we are around. I WAS STUNNED!! I did tell her "I didn't lose the weight to hurt you, I did lose the weight because I wanted to really enjoy life again, and I do." She retains that anger, in turn, I rarely have anything to do with her.
You achieved an amazing thing, and I'm glad that you have self confidence and like yourself!!6 -
you will feel clean , healthy and have extra energy4
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lawilliams2004 wrote: »you will feel clean , healthy and have extra energy
I love it, but what is that about? I just feel neater, better put together...2 -
justanotherloser007 wrote: »
I went to a funeral on Friday night and I was dreading it a little, since I was about to see people I was pretty close to and that I hadn't seen for around 2 years. I am 120 pounds down, 277 to 154 5'3". So since I have been on here I know that the responses will vary. But, oddly enough, what I thought should happen did happen.Countandsubtract wrote: »How many people would prefer that people comment on your weight loss? How many would prefer that they don't? It seems like a lot of work to not get any recognition.
A bunch of my friends walked up to my hubby to ask where I was. Yep, I was standing next to him and they did not recognize me. I don't either when I look in the mirror, I look so different. One friend did ask me how I did it, and then said I was too skinny (that was probably the closest to what people said might be the response after losing weight). Actually, it was nice to have the heads up about that one response, and I know to never be offended no matter what the reaction is. I mean, they are trying to wrap their head around my changes as much as I am. One friend made me laugh with the "you are looking really good! But you always looked good." lols. Honestly, I don't really feel good about the new me yet. Such an adjustment!
I have been married for 27 years, and the hubby is trying to adjust to the new me as well. I feel kind of like a sharpei most days. When we are intimate I TRY not to be awkward. But since I feel like I am in some weird sci-fi where I ended up in the future with a different body - I mean, awkward is just where it is right now. I am grateful the hubby is also trying to be patient with me, because he met me at size 18 over the years I ended up size 24/26 and I am a size 8 right now I think a small mostly.
This is totally understandable. It takes a long time to adjust to a different body. And I did it once before and still struggle this time again. For some unknown reason I think I adjusted quicker to gaining weight than when I lose.4 -
So, this is a weird one but… I got in a car accident about 6 or 7 weeks ago, and the body shop has had my car that whole time.
I got my car back today and, it is mind tripping me… it’s a 2021 Dodge Challenger so I have had it for a while. I love my car but dang… my car is so huge to me now. The seats are massive. My hands look so tiny on the steering wheel. It’s crazy. Mind blowing.11 -
IAmTheGlue wrote: »So, this is a weird one but… I got in a car accident about 6 or 7 weeks ago, and the body shop has had my car that whole time.
I got my car back today and, it is mind tripping me… it’s a 2021 Dodge Challenger so I have had it for a while. I love my car but dang… my car is so huge to me now. The seats are massive. My hands look so tiny on the steering wheel. It’s crazy. Mind blowing.
Same kind of thing happened to me when I flew to Oklahoma the end of April. Previous time I flew I barely had enough room with the seat belt and up against the arm rests very tight. This time I easily had quite a few inches on each side of me. It wasn't me who over hung my allotted space. It was the guy and girl next to me on my flights.9 -
I have always been cold natured. I’m that person who carries a sweater with me when it’s 100 degrees outside because I know I’ll be cold when I walk into a building with AC. This was true even when I was bordering on obese. I expected it to get worse since I started losing weight in January, but the opposite has happened. I am much warmer all the time, and I sweat more easily. I only get cold if I sit for several hours in a cold building. I have a theory that all the weight training and general exercise I do nowadays has increased my metabolism, so I’m literally burning hotter. I was definitely not expecting that.8
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@EliseTK1 I never thought about that, but it may apply to me as well. I’ve lost a bit of weight and didn’t need to lose a lot. However, in this past year, I have significantly increased my working out (both cardio and weightlifting). I have always been cold and was also that person carrying around a sweater in warm, even hot weather, as AC made me yet even colder. I have noticed my metabolism has increased, as I can maintain on a higher amount of calories.8
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How I would start to hate baggy clothes. Not sure if it's because I hid my body for so long or that I have so much that doesn't fit anymore and I don't want to look dumpy.12
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That you don’t feel fat or thin. You just feel amorphous. I can’t wrap my head around my new sizes. My clothes fit weird, even the smaller sizes. My closet is a mess. I should give a bunch away but I hate to see what’s left!!9
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