What nobody tells you about losing weight
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[quote="Brennen11;c-46736180"How sick of thinking about food you can get.[/quote]
So I would like a litte more explanation here, are you into weight loss for a year now fantasizing about food and you are sick of it? Or, are you like, "Can't believe I think I want to eat that, yuck!"2 -
Happiness is, watching your fat loss decrease and watching your muscle gain increase.7
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@Brennen11 I read your comment, 'How sick of thinking about food you can get', and thought I can sooo relate.
And then, @justanotherloser007 , asked what you meant and posed some potential meanings of your comment, which were ones I didn't even think of.
It is funny how we hear something and without the benefit of additional information or context, we ascribe a meaning to it that relates to our life (makes sense, but still...).
Anyway, I will share my thoughts on that comment, as applied to my life.
I am so sick of thinking about food for so much time throughout my every day! When to eat, what to eat, will it hold me over until I eat again, how many calories is it, will I be too low on available calories to eat later this evening...and on and on it goes. This is even with usually logging my food ahead of time each day.
I have been overweight for a good couple decades of my adult life (up and down that !?#! overweight portion of the BMI scale). I never had to think about my weight as a child, teen, and through most of my 20's, actually, probably not until after my second (of two) children at age 31 years. If I was hungry, I ate, and I ate whatever was available (both healthy and less healthy foods), but a balanced diet overall.
I am now on the high side of the normal BMI scale for my height, but still a few pounds from my desired weight. And I just wish I could go back to intuitive eating. Sadly, my weight goes up without logging and following my daily calorie allotment. I am confident that if I up the amount of my 'wishing', it still wouldn't get me back the way I was.
I'm just so sick about thinking about food...19 -
How much more stressful it is to not have a meal plan! If you'd asked me a year ago, I would have told you that I would get bored senseless if I ate the same thing day after day. When I started tracking my calories, though, I started creating a weekly meal plan - and I pretty much always have oatmeal for breakfast and a salad for lunch because it's easy. I'm not at all bored the way I thought I would be.
This week I had to travel for work, so I had to put effort into deciding what to eat each meal - and I am amazed by how stressful it was. It was stressful just to choose what to eat, and then trying to guess how many calories are in a meal, and what a real portion size would be too. I was so relieved when I got home that I could just go back to my meal plan. I read once that President Obama would always wear the same type of suit because it cut down on the amount of decisions he had to make in a day, and it saved him some stress. I used to wonder if it really had that much on an impact, but now I can see how it really could be worth it.9 -
justanotherloser007 wrote: »[quote="Brennen11;c-46736180"How sick of thinking about food you can get.
So I would like a litte more explanation here, are you into weight loss for a year now fantasizing about food and you are sick of it? Or, are you like, "Can't believe I think I want to eat that, yuck!"[/quote]
Looking back that statement was sort of confusing without more detail
. Amazingly, NO I don't fantasize about food and NO I haven't ever thought "I can't believe I think I want to eat that or that I felt like I was forcing myself to eat things I didn't like. My "thinking about food" is probably mostly self-inflicted because I am always trying to find to recipes or change-ups to add to my menus to keep things interesting and to keep finding new yummy nutritious things to eat. I am also a very dedicated My fitness pal food tracker and food measurer so that is primarily where my constant thoughts about food fit in. The funny thing is as much as I dislike how much I think about food, it is also one of the best things I do. Admittedly there are times when I just don't want to think about what I should eat, or don't want to plan another week of meals or think ahead about my food choices to leave room for a special night out or celebration. However, in the end I'm sooooo glad I did. I hope that helps.... 12 -
I was actually kind of excited to see more cellulite dimples and looser skin in my legs and belly, because even though the scale hasn't moved I am still managing to get rid of some fat. The fat cells are now partially deflated and the skin is thus less tight and stretched out. I'm hoping that it is an increase in muscle in mass not just my delusional brain playing tricks on me
(and I don't care if that's not quite right, I know there is something good going on because some of my clothes are fitting better)13 -
By far, the hardest thing about losing weight for me has been: losing my whole closet of clothes. I was the same size for at least 20 years. I can sew, and I kept a few things (I laugh at past me who thought she would keep the whole closet and just resize everything, she was so very naïve).
I eventually just resized some of my skirts, and bought the cheapest tees I could find to go with some new skirts from the thrift store. MY CONFIDENCE HAS NEVER RECOVERED. I have no idea what size I will be stopping at. I have never lost weight before. I am glad to be in maintenance at goal weight for a little while because the emotional blow back has been shocking. I went maintenance at goal weight for the whole month of January, and then when I got back to it, I lost weight really fast. Like I did when I started. I lost another size. It is just getting up my nose at this point.
I guess, I never realized how attached I was to my wardrobe. I think that is the take-away here. It took me a long time to find those clothes, and I wore most of them out to threads - I was not able to re-thrift many of them. I have some in the garage right now, because I really, really like the colors, the style, the flowers, etc. But in reality, unless I want to spend more time resizing them to still be too big in a month *grinds teeth*... I mean, it just isn't happening.14 -
@justanotherloser007 I can empathize with you on the loss of your wardrobe. I had a few pieces I absolutely loved in my "old" size but ultimately either stuffed in a trash bag to donate or throw away (depending on the item's condition). It felt good to purge my closet, but the sense of loss was there.
The biggest issue I have right now is that I am going through this again in my "new" size. My friend gave me a terrific wardrobe when he lost weight - all designer clothes that were practically new. I've been able to wear all of the items for a few months and now I'm noticing the same issue I had previously; most notably, the shirts are hanging way too long and loose on my frame. I don't want to give these items away and they'll cost a fortune to replace, but I may be forced to at some point soon.11 -
Ghostofachance wrote: »@justanotherloser007 I can empathize with you on the loss of your wardrobe. I had a few pieces I absolutely loved in my "old" size but ultimately either stuffed in a trash bag to donate or throw away (depending on the item's condition). It felt good to purge my closet, but the sense of loss was there.
The biggest issue I have right now is that I am going through this again in my "new" size. My friend gave me a terrific wardrobe when he lost weight - all designer clothes that were practically new. I've been able to wear all of the items for a few months and now I'm noticing the same issue I had previously; most notably, the shirts are hanging way too long and loose on my frame. I don't want to give these items away and they'll cost a fortune to replace, but I may be forced to at some point soon.
If they are designer sell them on eBay or fb market place or Vinted if your country has that. You can use the money you make towards other clothes! I’m on a buy no new clothes ban this year (except for undergarments) and I’ve saved a ton of £££ on clothes
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leaning to look at other things other than the numbers on the scale like heath, I can do things I use to not be able to do like get under the desk to turn on the computer, patrol the building and climb the stairs.5
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the numbers on the sale jumping back and forth each day dive me crazy less jumping on the scale and looking at health and wellness and the gains I am making also are important to me are what I need to do to stay focused.6
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Losing weight has been great for my health but even at a slow pace, I've started feeling kind of awkward about my body as it changes. I don't want to demotivate anyone, just make people aware that if you lose a lot of weight, it can feel weird at times. The best way I can describe it is that my body feels very loose and lacks tone from fat loss. Which is a strange feeling in itself because losing weight / gaining strength is a positive thing, but I have not felt positive 100% of the time. I never hear people talking about this, but I doubt I'm the only one going through it. Be prepared to accept the changes as they come. I'm optimistic that I will get used to my new body and can overcome this hurdle as I'm just starting to get into fitness. Wish me luck. 17
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Can we talk about Phantom Fat, PLEASE. I've been on this journey for just over a year now and this is one subject I bring up a lot. I've lost over 100 pounds and have been experiencing this more intensely as I continue to lose weight and put on muscle. I still have all the mental habits as a severe overweight individual. From shopping for 3XL shirts when I can fit comfortably into a Medium. Being self conscious about having my photo taken and how I hold my body so that way I can look as thin as possible. Sitting on the damn floor at gatherings so I won't take up too much room on the couch.. the list goes on. My mind has yet to catch up with my new body and I still see my body most days like it's morbidly obese. I advise everyone who is looking to lose a significant amount of weight to reach out to professionals and have counseling. Let's bring more awareness to BDDs AFTER weight loss.19
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hodgeshailey1186 wrote: »My mind has yet to catch up with my new body and I still see my body most days like it's morbidly obese.
115 pounds down, and I still see the same lady in the mirror as I was for 20+ years. Except for those infrequent days, that I look at myself in the mirror and wonder "who is that? I don't even recognize her. Oh no, nobody else will recognize me either!" There is a name for it, and I forgot what it is. It is mentioned pretty frequently in this thread, which I realize is now 560+ pages long, lol. Your brain is updating how you move through space. This is a physical thing, and it will take 6 months to a year to work it out. I am not sure if going to therapy will help this, other than just to stop freaking out about it maybe? The brain needs to do its thing and for that to happen takes: time.
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Nobody tells you that you will look older and have more wrinkles. The skin takes time to rejuvenate itself to the new YOU size. The inner side of my elbows looks like they belong to a 20 year older person.
No one tells you about the struggle between pride and embarrassment in telling others how much weight you've lost. You know you should not have weighed that much, to begin with. You have to build yourself up to be proud and not ashamed.28 -
@justanotherloser007 I found some really fun pieces on Thredup and at my local thrift stores. Some of them still have labels. It's like a treasure hunt for me. While I have donated clothes that I love, I'm loving the thrift store finds because I feel great, strong and really proud of myself. The other clothes were the old me. These new clothes, which will be donated back to the thrift stores in a few months, are part of coblujay 2.0!13
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No one tells you about the struggle between pride and embarrassment in telling others how much weight you've lost.
I totally relate to this statement. Whenever people say something kind at about my weight loss (which is happening frequently since I have lost nearly 100 pounds in the past 16 months), there are times I barely say more than a quiet "thank you" and try not to talk about it any further. I think the shame in allowing myself to get so dangerously unhealthy makes it hard to talk about the remarkable strides I've taken to improve my health and life. It's a big reason MFP is so important to me - it gives me a place to talk about some of the feelings I need to work through as part of the process.
I am trying to be a little more vocal when asked about my weight loss because I am proud of what I have accomplished and I'm trying to stop kicking myself on those days when I feel ashamed of my starting point. I don't know if it will ever become easy, but I need to spend more time looking through the windshield instead of the rear-view mirror.27 -
@justanotherloser007 It’s Body Dysmorphia.
It’s the same thing that makes me rush to the mirror the instant I get out of bed, turn, suck it in, turn again, pinch here, tug there, for fear it came back overnight.
It’s the same thing that yesterday, when I bought a shirt at TJ, my brain said “Idiot, it’s too big!” while the other side hissed, “You can’t wear that size.”
Or being out of town and being off plan a few days to be less of a trial to new parents who are focused on simply coping, has me fretting that I’ll put it all back on in ten days, even though my brain says “mathematically not possible”.
It never really goes away.12 -
Ghostofachance wrote: »No one tells you about the struggle between pride and embarrassment in telling others how much weight you've lost.
I totally relate to this statement. Whenever people say something kind at about my weight loss (which is happening frequently since I have lost nearly 100 pounds in the past 16 months), there are times I barely say more than a quiet "thank you" and try not to talk about it any further.
This is me too! Whew, it is nice to hear others talk about it. Thanks to all of you (and thank you @coblujay for the thread up, and also the idea of justanotherloser007 2.0, I will think about what that means to me and try to adjust my thinking).
You know how when you lose weight, you have to play some mental games to get you there? Maybe your game has to be just as mentally tight for the new you. (which might include mind games or new thinking that appears completely unrelated to weight loss). Like, every time someone says I look younger now that I am thin @JustJ2014 - right! I am like, obviously you see that I am a much more wrinkly person now? But maybe it does seem that way to them? Somehow we look younger, even though we are (to us) not so full and plush in our skin.
Do you ever wonder how many people who have lost weight and then: 1) fully panicked about clothes 2) fully panicked about skin sag 3) fully panicked about body dysmorphia ... then said, NOPE and gained it all back because that appeared safer? And it all happened in the back of their mind? Like they weren't even aware of the stress of being a new person was driving some of the behaviors. The real rage quit of weight loss has some to do with eating, but maybe more to do with - some very basic ideas in your personal identity *this will mess up your mind as we have seen in this thread*.
Some days, I just want to stop losing weight and stay right here because of all these random ancillary issues. But because I have come this far, slayed the beasts, made plans for maintenance, actually hacked my brain and lifestyle choices to make it so easy for me to stay at maintenance at goal weight.... It is just a whisper, but I think the temptation is there. If I didn't make all these plans, and deal with the thoughts and done some reflection... I would definitely consider it easier to just gain the weight back and be like I always was. But I just made that so much harder for myself with math, and dealing with emotions. Poor me, I appear to be on the train ride and can't get off. Which is fine, it is what I planned for, but still ya'll probably know exactly what I mean.16 -
The belly fat I still have to lose and the toning of the back of my upper legs. I've lost 102 lbs so far. Down from 284 18 months ago to 182 now. I think I got plenty of walking at least to start doing or maybe even getting the exercise bike out of storage 😄13
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47Jacqueline wrote: »- Having the saleswoman look at you and say, Ok, you wear a "small" right?
I'm nowhere near there yet but I had lost a lot of weight before an accident, disrupting any sort of exercise for a long time. I never got the be the "small" stage yet, but I was thrilled to look at my t-shirts and see a MED for the first time in 15 years or so.
This time, I am going for that small !!
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I may have read through about 100 pages in this thread earlier today while waiting at an appointment. So incredibly inspiring and educational. I nearly spat out my water a few times because some of you are hilarious. Eventually I’ll go back and read the rest.
I saw a few posts about people suddenly getting into fashion, and I am 110% experiencing that. Not only do I want to buy all the clothes/shoes/accessories, but I want them to be COLORFUL and to make a statement. I want to wear things that make me look bright and happy because, suddenly, that’s how I feel. I don’t feel the need to hide behind dark colors anymore. It is so bizarre, but it feels wonderful. I legit look like a Floridian now with all my beachy, floral, tropical wearables.
Also I am, for the first time in my life, comfortably wearing shorts. Daily. I even have a really soft pair that I’ve started sleeping in. My entire life shorts have been very uncomfortable no matter what type or size because my thighs would make them ride up after 2 steps, or they would dig into my legs, or I just felt like they looked ridiculous. These last few weeks have been a revelation. I finally understand why people love to wear shorts.20 -
Things that seem to help me with Body Dysmorphia believe it or not is a photo. Just had my daughter in law (while visiting for the first time my new grand daughter, who is 8 months) take our picture at a Botanical Garden. I was amazed when she sent it to me. I said out loud, "Oh! Look how thin I am?" She laughed out loud. I think for me, now and with my previous large loss, photos or videos seem to hit my brain better than me looking in the mirror at myself. Especially since I am fully clothed. You can't see all the flabby skin and rolls! The imperfections, that I still have, I can't see or focus on.15
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I'm having some difficulty figuring out what sizes to wear. People might have mentioned that before I started losing weight but nobody told me how oddly shaped my body would be, 20 pounds from goal. Before I could just pick 2X whatever and rock it like a tent. Now I'm wanting to get into more fitted things for the first time in my life, BUT I have an oddly shaped body, so I'm having to start researching how to measure and fashion choices that flatter certain things and all that. I was never that way but now I'm going to have to be! In the interim I also got a couple promotions which basically doubled my pay so now I need to have NICE business clothes too. This is gonna be interesting and I think I'm going to need to make friends with a seamstress.23
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That it's easier to bend over when you lose weight in your midsection. Because I had both my knees replaced I can't kneel when I garden. I have a bench that I sit on when I'm weeding and planting. Last spring it was extremely difficult to bend down and I would get really winded. This spring, after losing 31 lbs, I have very little discomfort when I'm working in the garden.21
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I feel cold quite often now vs pre-weight loss. After losing the first 25 lbs the difference is kind of shocking to me. Before I was almost always too hot. Even in the dead of winter. Makes me wonder how it's going to be after I lose another 60 lbs.
On the upside, I'm hoping this means that I'll be able to tolerate the summer heat a little easier this year.10 -
I feel cold quite often now vs pre-weight loss. After losing the first 25 lbs the difference is kind of shocking to me. Before I was almost always too hot. Even in the dead of winter. Makes me wonder how it's going to be after I lose another 60 lbs.
On the upside, I'm hoping this means that I'll be able to tolerate the summer heat a little easier this year.
I have the same thing but I notice that it's much worse when I'm in a calorie deficit. It's partly from losing insulation, yes, but a huge part is having less fuel to burn. If I have a few extra calories I warm right up, so you may be just fine after you hit maintenance.11 -
I feel cold quite often now vs pre-weight loss. After losing the first 25 lbs the difference is kind of shocking to me. Before I was almost always too hot. Even in the dead of winter. Makes me wonder how it's going to be after I lose another 60 lbs.
On the upside, I'm hoping this means that I'll be able to tolerate the summer heat a little easier this year.
I too am cold almost all the time. I wear long sleeves, that can be rolled up, and layers. I was the last time I lost a lot of weight before also. I don't remember it only being during a calorie deficit, like @Sand_TIger said. I'm hoping I just forgot and can look forward to that! Summer is much better, as I remember. More comfortable, less sweating and less heat rashes!8 -
When I see myself in a full length mirror, after losing 30 pounds in the past year and reaching a healthy weight in the middle of normal BMI, I can't believe my new figure.
And when I look at my really old photos, where I was even slimmer than I am now, I remember that I used to be so self-conscious and feel fat! I wasn't. I was slim but overly critical. Wow, Younger Me sure did a number on myself.16 -
Nobody told me about: taste bud reset. Brand new taste buds? And it has happened to me at least 3 times on this journey, so I know it is a thing. I bet people call it something reasonable, because I am not great with the words and such. (If there is a thread out there about this, I would like to find it, just because I would like to see how long it took others to do it - and what was involved, SCIENCE!).
First time: So when I increased protein to "normal human" amounts, I started not really liking my free range carbs as much after three months. This won't apply to everyone, but you protein starvers know who I am talkin bout! Yeah, the carb loaders only. So, while I absolutely chaffed at the amount of protein I was supposed to eat .8 times your ultimate goal weight (because I won't eat more than that and that was the smallest protein calculator I could find lols). It changed what I crave, what I am willing to eat, how food tastes to me. Carbs, which I still eat ya'll, just aren't all the addictive shizm shazm younger me thought they were.
Second time: Then, since I wasn't craving carbs as much, I figured I would fiber load my diet. Yeah, so I was freakin hungry, so sue me. I eat a high fiber diet. Now, I will not even consider a "carb only" meal - which was my comfort food go to pretty much all day every day. And no, I didn't get diabetes, and I have no idea why, other than it doesn't generally run in the family? Or, I am the only one (out of 2) who isn't an alcoholic? Not sure.
Third time: It was only 40 days (6 weeks)! 2022 Lent. Now all my favorite diet sodas taste like crap. Pfft. I somehow reset my taste buds in record time. By using stevia sweeteners and water only. It is the only reason I can come up with.
I am beginning to think that now I have broken my taste buds, I can eat and tolerate just about any foods just as long as I get a decent amount of protein macros. No, I don't really want to test the theory by only eating locusts with honey for a couple of months, but I am thinking I might do okay with that sort of thing over time.12
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