How do you eat healthy when the rest of your family only wants to eat junk?

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  • LifeChangz
    LifeChangz Posts: 457 Member
    edited January 2023
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    nods.... i think there is a kernel of truth in all the comments ~ including to keep your personal eating goals elevated ~ from there, find ways that work for you and the feeding of your family - sometimes it might take a heart to heart - my hubby often would bring home (junk) food treats for everyone.... in a conversation - asked him why? when he knew I was trying not to eat those things - his 1st soft response was he loved me.... further into the conversation, his 2nd soft response was that he felt like he was losing his chef and eating companion.... so, we continued to have conversation about alternatives/divergent eating - because I just can't wait for him/them to join me nor can I force them to change beyond suggestions/encouraging more nutritious options - practically speaking, it is helpful for me to prepare foods, we all do our parts for the household, so it is an on-going effort to find ways to cook/eat that work for all of us, from winter foods that are prepared in divided dishes differently or bbq on the grill with sauces or simply spices. Hope you find a way through that works for you and yours. Would love to hear how you go forward...
  • vivmom2014
    vivmom2014 Posts: 1,647 Member
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    I think it's loving to move your family toward "healthier" (which I read as "delicious" because: can frozen prepared food even compete with freshly made, aromatics-rich, well seasoned, varied, unique, mouth-watering homemade meals?! No, it cannot.)

    However, you're not responsible for how your husband eats. Your son...well, you could definitely endeavor to switch up his palate by putting the brakes on pre-made stuff and introducing him to the world of quality homemade.

    When I went vegetarian in 2014, my family had to fall in. I am the cook. I also take pride in my cooking and have high personal standards for what I serve. It HAS to be delicious, preferably with fresh produce, nuts, wonderful cheeses, sauces, and variety, occasionally a meat analog. Along with the entree, I can have 55g of French baguette with 1 T butter and a side salad for a complete, moderate-calorie meal.

    Point being: if my family wanted to eat differently (meat), they were on their own. Funny how when faced with cooking their own food, they're more than happy to sit down to my meals.
  • mtaratoot
    mtaratoot Posts: 13,537 Member
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    vivmom2014 wrote: »
    Point being: if my family wanted to eat differently (meat), they were on their own. Funny how when faced with cooking their own food, they're more than happy to sit down to my meals.


    Testify!

    So much this. It definitely helps a LOT if you're a good cook. I remember when my mom started making much healthier food for us all. It seemed weird at first. I am so grateful she did. I worked landscaping for a couple guys who had a small business one summer between college. It was quite funny; I was a vegetarian. I would eat breakfast before work. On the way to a job site, they would stop for fast food biscuits with fried stuff. They would often be hungry again well before noon. My lunches were things like a whole bunch of chopped vegetables in a pita with some kind of sauce. I found it hilarious when they said, "I don't know how you can eat that rabbit food." I never said anything, but I thought, "Yeah; I wonder how come I don't get hungry at 11:00 and can wait to eat my lunch until it's a good time to take a break from what we're doing."

    As a very young child, I did not at all like squash casserole. My tastes matured over time. It took eating that stuff. Now I cook really tasty and healthy food. I also cook junk from time to time; I like that too. OK, time to go roast a couple beets and cook some brown rice... :wink:
  • Sinisterbarbie1
    Sinisterbarbie1 Posts: 712 Member
    edited January 2023
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    Some thoughts of easy stuff you can make in a big batch in advance for yourself even if your family doesn’t want to eat it are things like soups (instead of using dairy to make them creamy purree a potato or cannelini beans), veggie chili, various casseroles based on veggies that you can easily eat throughout the week without having to cook something different every single day. Maybe experiment with stuff that is in the “top your own” or “make your own” mode like tacos/burritos, even personal flatbread pizza, where every person can control the amount/type of stuff put on at the end, Also lots of sheet pan meals for you can be done at the same time you are heating up whatever frozen premade stuff your family demands instead. But if you are cooking stuff like chili or spaghetti you can easily have yours on spaghetti squash or a half a sweet potato or a maarinated and roasted portabello mushroom while your family has theirs on pasta with cheese, The spaghetti squash tastes better roasted in the oven, but works fine in the microwave too. Burrito bowls work well on squash or riced cauliflower too. Lots of things your family would eat with a side of unhealthy carbs/between bread and a topping of cheese can work for you without those things, instead on roasted vegetables or greens or on riced cauliflower. (Still carbs but healthier and less carby). Burgers for them can be switched out with roasted portobello mushroom for you. For a while mashed cauliflower was popular. You should try it. Mash steamed/microwaved cauliflower with a 1/4 - 1/2 the amount of boiled/microwaved potato. Much lower in carbs and calories. Use chicken stock and garlic and herbs to cook & mash for flavor instead of butter and milk if you want to cut the calories further. Its entirely possible you can slip it past your family as mashed potatoes.
    But as possible as it is to do all of these things you don’t have to cut every calorie at every meal. I do all the cooking in my house and no one ever knew I was losing weight until I had already lost close to 40 lbs. and I bought new clothes so you could see it. You probably don’t eat every single bite as a family, plus you have named some home cooked items that your family likes and I bet your repertoire is bigger than what you listed. Tweak those a bit along the lines above and supplement with other stuff that is new for the family, in the same taste profile but home made or less processed and see how you do.
  • mrsmeteor
    mrsmeteor Posts: 35 Member
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    This has been said and I agree: you do the shopping and cooking, so you decide the groceries and the menu. If they don't like it they can go to the grocery store themselves and buy the junk they like and they can start cooking themselves. Stay strong and I promise you, once they learn that they will eat what you make or have to forage for themselves, they will gain a new appreciation for healthy food.
  • Rockmama1111
    Rockmama1111 Posts: 262 Member
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    I’ve already responded, but I’d like to add that there is room in your diet to have every single thing you normally cook for dinner, even without substitutions. (But do experiment to see what you can get away with!)

    As for the snacks and lunch, I doubt you sit down and eat them as a family? Do your own thing there. A repertoire of 300-400 calorie lunches would serve you well.

    I somewhat agree with other posters who say, “you’re the cook, it’s your call” but I recommend subtlety, especially if you’re still learning how to make tasty lighter food. When one family member decides to lose weight and demands that everyone else in the house go all in too, it’s not going to go well. And it really isn’t fair.
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 27,988 Member
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    I truly need advice on this one. My husband & 13 year old boy are naturally thin, no matter what they eat. I do the shopping & cooking. I want to make healthier meals but I know it will be a challenge to get them to eat anything other than frozen pizza, nuggets, fries, hot pockets, mac n cheese, pizza rolls, snack cakes, etc. Non-frozen things they like me to make include spaghetti with cheese and garlic bread, meatloaf (cheese stuffed, bacon wrapped) and mashed potatoes, chili, loaded potato soup, cheese ravioli, biscuits and gravy, bacon, sausage, tacos, French toast, burgers, etc. Basically nothing healthy. I feel like in order for me to be successful I'm going to have to make completely separate meals for me and for them. And that sounds super overwhelming and like it will add more temptation. I'm just curious how other people in here have managed to eat better even when your family wants nothing to do with the idea lol

    For most of the foods I bolded you can have smaller portions plus a large serving of salad and/or vegetable.

    I can't have French toast for breakfast - it makes me sleepy. A few times per year we will have this or pancakes for dinner.

    I would suggest meal planning and letting them know what's going to be on the menu so you know how much to make. If they don't want it, they can heat up frozen food themselves.

    I love rice & beans from many cuisines, find this very filling, and can eat it all the time. My partner is less enthusiastic. However, it freezes well, so I make a giant batch, we have it for dinner at least once, and I have the rest for lunches, freezing some as needed. I'm currently working on a batch of Arroz Mamposteao. I think he's only going to get one serving. I mixed mine into a big salad last night - YUM! I think I'm going to have a smaller serving into a smaller salad today for lunch.

    I also make various rice & lentil dishes for me for breakfast or lunch. It started off as a Lebanese dish, but I also make it with Thai or Berbere spices and bulk it up with whatever veggies. I've used cabbage, cauliflower, and green beans. This I don't serve to my partner :lol: He's on his own for breakfast and lunch.
  • DebbsSeattle
    DebbsSeattle Posts: 125 Member
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    My mom always told us, “if you don’t like it, don’t eat it, cook your own”. We ate it. You are choosing to make healthful changes. Skinny people can be sick too from eating all that Cra.p food. My neighbor is super tiny and cute with her 100# frame…just diagnosed as pre-diabetic because she eats processed sugar carb based foods. You need to spend time cooking good food. Learn how to make your own pizza dough and pizza sauce for make your own pizzas. Quit facilitating their ‘food instantly appears’ fantasy. Spend time making real food and perfecting the healthy version recipes. Anyone who sits on the couch while someone else prepares dinner gets no say.
  • Ebonie_owlwehn
    Ebonie_owlwehn Posts: 32 Member
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    Their few things I’ve started to do. If they are having a take away I will order a salad and water plus a zero or diet can of pop. I’ll cook my own thing and separate dish for everyone else. Their choice if they want what I’m cooking myself. They had years of me doing fade diets ect.. so no making everyone be on a diet/healthy eating habits.
  • penguinmama87
    penguinmama87 Posts: 1,158 Member
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    [snip]

    I somewhat agree with other posters who say, “you’re the cook, it’s your call” but I recommend subtlety, especially if you’re still learning how to make tasty lighter food. When one family member decides to lose weight and demands that everyone else in the house go all in too, it’s not going to go well. And it really isn’t fair.

    Yes, I agree with this, as the person who does almost all the cooking here and really the only one who cares a lot about nutrition.

    I have learned pretty much everything I know about cooking since I became an adult; and I grew up mostly eating hyperpalatable processed foods, so the meals I make now are a LOT different than they were early in my marriage when I really had no idea what I was doing beyond the very basic stuff. My kids still hem and haw over it sometimes, but I haven't completely eliminated their favorites (and I don't only do "healthy" versions of those favorites, either.)

    I've been grumbling to myself the past few weeks because I've been making these really nice breakfasts for everyone (baked oatmeal, egg casseroles, etc) and I end up being the only person who eats them. In our house, breakfast and lunches are more on-your-own (or at school/work) and dinner is the family meal, so I've decided to live with it and not be insulted that they don't want it - more for me, anyway. I keep bagels, toast, and even dry cereal (which to me is blah) on hand.

    Everybody has to eat what I make for dinner, and nobody is allowed to complain (they aren't forced to eat it, either, but it is all they will be served.) I try to space out the dishes that I know will be the most tempting to complain about, and I figure if take-and-bake-pizza feels like a fancy once-in-a-while treat for my kids, then I'm probably doing pretty well.
  • mtaratoot
    mtaratoot Posts: 13,537 Member
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    When I was growing up, one of my uncles was probably the most nutrition-focused of all the family. He's still practicing dentistry in his 80s, and he's still good at it, and he still is nutrition focused.

    I remember being at my grandparents house one time, and one of my cousins said, "I hope uncle xxx doesn't make El Paso." I had no idea what he meant. Cousin said, "You look at it and you say, pass..." It was inevitably a healthy vegetable dish. And it was delicious if you asked me. More like El Diablo - the lost dish of gold!

    Tastes change. You can help that happen for the better. Hunger will win; they will get better habits. Feed them well.

    Maybe another option is to spread out the cooking; each person gets a night to cook. Then they'll know how hard it is. Oh. Yeah - they have to wash the dishes too because if they are novices, there will be things that get burned on and need lots of elbow grease to clean off. Soon they will appreciate all the healthy repast that magically appears on the table for them to fuel their lives with.
  • springlering62
    springlering62 Posts: 7,797 Member
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    If I see snacks, I eat them. So my first step was having my husband keep his snacks elsewhere. They became “his” snacks, his “property”, and because they weren’t in the kitchen or pantry, out of sight, out of mind. Only once did I get into his snacks, when I went to get a hammer and found a bag of Hershey’s minis in the toolbox, lol.

    I am also the cook. I realized, he doesn’t really oay attention to what he eats, as long as he gets a lot to eat. So when I began cooking healthier foods, I gave him the lions share.

    During this period, I learned to cook without butters or oils, and to make healthier substitutions.

    Getting an air fryer made it possibly for us to enjoy virtually fat and oil free French fries together, along with other “grilled” foods.

    After three years, and a no so great doctors visit, he began asking me about that “app you use”. I created an account for him and showed him how to copy my meals into his diary, which made his logging easy peasy.

    He became invested in the process and now actually likes the healthier meals, and the funky substitutions (red beans over cauliflower rice, “dry” stir fries heavy on veggies with ginger balsamic in leiu of heavy sauces, that kind of thing).

    He no longer has to hide snacks from me because he doesn’t keep any in the house now. In fact, I had to gently chide him for buying me some BOGO Christmas candy last week because I knew I would cause me to binge. Which it did. Twice. 🙄

    Our youngest was so impressed by our loss, she joined MFP and has also lost weight.

    You’ll have the moments, like me, where you go buck wild, but for the most part, if you keep it on an even keel, you might be surprised where the example you create takes the family.