We Broke Up Because....... part 2 .....
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Was it?0
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Didn't like leg day as much as I did0
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Would always try to leg wrestle me in public...
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Insisted on walking through every doorway backwards.0
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Pushed me over the rail on our honeymoon cruise😤0
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Her name was not Lisa, I think it was Julie…0
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He always greeted me with, 'my name is Sue, how do you do?"0
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She was overly obsessed with cash, Johnny Cash…0
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Our ring of fire got too hot0
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She was able to see through all of my metaphorical masks into the depths of my unforgiven soul (or lack thereof) and was sadly disappointed. Either that or my random vocal tics…0
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He cut his toenails in bed.0
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I was unable to meet her physical, spiritual and emotional needs…0
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There was too much dust on the dashboard of my car. My untidy car was a deal breaker0
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She was too demanding, “The milk is not white enough” or her personal favourite, “The coffee is not black enough!”🙉0
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She had me confused with someone who drank black coffee 😑0
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He thought I was his reincarnated 2nd grade teacher. It was too weird.0
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She was no longer able to tolerate my intolerance…0
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All he could talk about was wheels, big ones, small ones, fat ones skinny ones0
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She kept farting and blamed it on my dog.0
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She had an imaginary dog.0
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Although my talents exceeded her expectations, unfortunately for me, my talents were speaking in 3rd person and quoting 80’s commercials…0
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He had sweaty eyebrows 😂0
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I gave her my heart but she wanted my soul. She didn’t think twice about it but it’s alright…0
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He would continuously leave without me when we went out.0
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Only bought me clothes from MooMoo.com and Ilovecalories.com they fit like a parachute 🪂🤨0
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She couldn't appreciate gifts. The cow pattern jumpsuit was adorable on you0
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She called me a cow in front of our friends 😭0
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She wanted to join that cult where everyone identifies as farm animals 👀0
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She didn't know the difference between having fun and being mean0
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Every time we went to the comedy lounge she’d heckle the comedians🤦♀️0
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