Anyone have a case of "the haters"

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  • tross0924
    tross0924 Posts: 909 Member
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    2 years later they've all grown quiet. Funny how being proved incredible wrong tends to shut people up. :-) hang in there and just smile knowing that in a few years they'll look exactly the same or worse and you'll be rockin maintenance.
  • twiztedsista
    twiztedsista Posts: 32
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    I'm struggling with this problem right now. I put my mom on this lifestyle change with me, at her request, but she cheats all the time. She's going into the self sabatoge mode because she "hasn't lost an ounce so there's no point." Every weigh-in or accomplishment I feel guilty enjoying it or sharing it because she's not seeing results (she's not exercising at all or I've come to find out following the plan.) Tonight I was told to cook pizza for dinner (I cook for my parents, grandfather, girls, and myself daily) and it was excruciating having to make them one of my favorite foods and having to try and make a healthy food choice. The little comments are annoying and hurtful. I've lost almost 11lbs in 25 days so I'm proud of me, but finding it a bit tough to keep motivated in between workouts. Feel like I'm totally doing this alone!
  • hikeout470
    hikeout470 Posts: 628 Member
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    So after weeks and weeks of love and support, my boyfriend broke down this week and admitted that "Your Fitness Pal is your new boyfriend!" He was joking about how he was jealous of how much time I spent on here.


    I was heartbroken. I am trying to change my life, after all I'm 50lbs heavier than I was when I met him! But I took a day and didn't run, didn't log, and ate crap. Then at the end of the day I felt so terrible I broke down in tears and logged it all.

    He was so horrified that he's been counting the calories on everything I eat ever since, and chanting, "That's my girl! Go log that snack! Good for you!" ever since.

    I think he was only half-joking about the jealousy thing, because he's kind of grumbled before about how much time it takes me to log my food and stuff. But when he saw how I felt when I was unsupported in my efforts he woke up. I keep hoping to get him to join me on here. Then he'll really understand what a great tool this is!

    What a totally awesome way to work through something in a relationship! Congrats, you have a good one.
  • hikeout470
    hikeout470 Posts: 628 Member
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    My coworkers are all men at least 10 years older than me. I get skeevy comments all of the time, like "you better not lose any more weight because I don't want you to lose your curves". So gross.

    They also try to make me eat candy and junk food. Someone brought in a 5lb bag of peanut M&Ms and I said that I didn't want any, and one of the guys kept coming up to me with handfuls of them all day, trying to get me to eat them. A) I said no. B) I don't want food your nasty hands are touching.

    What industry do you work in? Jeez. I sat next to a wise woman on an airplane last week, and she said if you can't change the situation, and you won't change yourself, then leave the situation. She had just left a very senior management position because of a hostile workplace situation. Now, I am not saying that is your case at all. However when I was just adding because there have been some situations I think I put up with, that I wish I hadn't...
  • hikeout470
    hikeout470 Posts: 628 Member
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    it happens. my family growing up, men like women with thin thighs, you will never have thin thighs, really Mother who always has a bag of sweets in her cabinets, fridge, freezer, counter tops... ?????
  • JoyRising
    JoyRising Posts: 6 Member
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    I'm just starting my journey so I can't wait for someone to "Hate" on me. Funny I already know who the Haters will be too.
  • NinjaMonkey201
    NinjaMonkey201 Posts: 123
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    We used to have "food days" at one place that I worked. Everyone knew that I was trying to watch what I ate. One day, there were some cookies on the table that were right in my view, so I moved them to other side so I wouldn't be tempted (they looked so yummy). One girl that I worked with actually picked the cookies up, walked over to my desk, and put the cookies on my keyboard, WHILE I WAS SITTING THERE!!!
    So, the "nice" person in me, slammed my desk chair into her and gave her a "whoops, sorry". She never did it, again. And our boss laughed his butt off. :-D
  • TheOddOne
    TheOddOne Posts: 45 Member
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    A girl I work with... she used to do weight watchers. She did it for a few weeks and stopped because she liked eating what she wanted.when I joined MFP and started losing weight, she asked me one day what I was doing. I explained I was working out at home, counting calories, and making healthy choices when it came to food. She then snapped at me and said she knew how to lose weight and rudely asked it I thought I was some kind of fitness guru now. About a week later, she asked me the exact same question and I just answered that I was doing the same thing I have been doing. she then tells me that she ie just going to get lap band surgery because its easier and starts going on a tyrade about how I am not in fact eating what I want like I claim because nobody wants the stuff I'm eating. She is about 400lbs and says she cant do exercise and doesnt want to anyway. Comments continued.... someone would ask what I brought for lunch and she would jump in and yell "twigs and leaves!" Before I could answer. She interrupted a conversation I was having with someone so that she could start talking to us about a friend who went to Mexico and had half her stomach removed... and how she lost over 80 pounds in three months, which was so much more than I had lost through healthy foods and exercise. I got new clothes and a new haircut which all of my coworkers loved... except her.
    I finally asked to have my desk moved. She then sent me a text msg that she hoped we could mend whatever was going on between us with a Smiley face. I never responded and i stay away from her at work. I thought we were friends but apparently not. I saw her true colors when I started losing weight.
  • StrawberrySprinkles
    StrawberrySprinkles Posts: 90
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    And of course there are always the people who sit there and tell me I'm getting too skinny. But overall I have to admit most people have been very complimentary and extremely supportive and encouraging.

    I think another perspective on this is that they aren't necessarily trying to put you down or keep you back, but perhaps they are also saying that you look fine and attractive as you are.

    I don't think all comments about weight loss, etc. are meant to be negative. I do think that some people are genuinely trying to be nice by saying things that are meant to be a compliment, but don't quite make it there because they aren't aware of the value that weight loss has to us as 'life style changers'. :)

    After all, we don't always want the people we like and love to change as we will always see them for the wonderful person that they are - warts'n'all.

    I am aware that at the end of the day that it is important for you to lose the weight and be happy with yourself.
  • StrawberrySprinkles
    StrawberrySprinkles Posts: 90
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    So after weeks and weeks of love and support, my boyfriend broke down this week and admitted that "Your Fitness Pal is your new boyfriend!" He was joking about how he was jealous of how much time I spent on here.


    I was heartbroken. I am trying to change my life, after all I'm 50lbs heavier than I was when I met him! But I took a day and didn't run, didn't log, and ate crap. Then at the end of the day I felt so terrible I broke down in tears and logged it all.

    He was so horrified that he's been counting the calories on everything I eat ever since, and chanting, "That's my girl! Go log that snack! Good for you!" ever since.

    I think he was only half-joking about the jealousy thing, because he's kind of grumbled before about how much time it takes me to log my food and stuff. But when he saw how I felt when I was unsupported in my efforts he woke up. I keep hoping to get him to join me on here. Then he'll really understand what a great tool this is!

    Awwww! Sometimes our other halves don't realize how important something is to us until we're bereft of whatever it is that was important to us.
  • cheeksv
    cheeksv Posts: 521 Member
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    Yeah I get that sometimes. right now I am getting the " your doing your diet wrong" statements. You really do have to ignore and move on. As for the sabotages just say you go to the gym for a reason and you do not want to ruin all your hard work. I do drink a little now and then. My only drink of choice now is a vodka and soda water. one or two and I am good for the night.
  • venom74799
    venom74799 Posts: 36
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    I wonder if my own brother is doing it to me. He constantly buys me candy and junk crap when I have asked him not to do it. All I hear is that "I think I'm too good now". He has a personal trainer and hasn't lost but maybe 6 pounds over the last 4 months. I have lost about 75+ pounds in 5 1/2 months due to working hard.


    It irritates the hell out of me and baffles me why he keeps doing that, but I just ignore him, started to throw away that crap, and continue to do what is helping my health, personality, and well being.
  • amygee05nb
    amygee05nb Posts: 55
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    2 years later they've all grown quiet. Funny how being proved incredible wrong tends to shut people up. :-) hang in there and just smile knowing that in a few years they'll look exactly the same or worse and you'll be rockin maintenance.

    Thanks! And look at you,great job! What an accomplishment! Congrats!
  • lkwilkey
    lkwilkey Posts: 56
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    Oh yes I work in an office with two girls that eat junk food all day long and they just think it is soooo funny. but hey its ok with me they can keep there fat butts and ill keep working mine off.....success is our pleasure people....We will have the last laugh just dont give up...
  • lkwilkey
    lkwilkey Posts: 56
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    girl you do sound like something I would do lol
  • hikeout470
    hikeout470 Posts: 628 Member
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    Oh yes I work in an office with two girls that eat junk food all day long and they just think it is soooo funny. but hey its ok with me they can keep there fat butts and ill keep working mine off.....success is our pleasure people....We will have the last laugh just dont give up...

    Love it!!!
  • LexieSweetheart
    LexieSweetheart Posts: 793 Member
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    I told someone I lost 50 pounds the response was " I can't tell oh wait I see it you cut your hair"
  • solpwr
    solpwr Posts: 1,039 Member
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    2 years later they've all grown quiet. Funny how being proved incredible wrong tends to shut people up. :-) hang in there and just smile knowing that in a few years they'll look exactly the same or worse and you'll be rockin maintenance.

    This. Totally. Happens.
  • it_be_asin
    it_be_asin Posts: 562 Member
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    Your friends and work colleagues do not want to hear people babble on about working out, weightloss or calorie counting! They couldn't give two hoots. Afterall, do you really need their stamp of approval? Surely the fact that you have commited to a heathly eating and exercise plan and have the results to support your own success should be enough! Be proud of yourselves. Your not going to receive a gold star or get $200 for passing 'Go'... harden up and realise that you did this for YOURSELF not for the approval of others.

    They just see you as a the party-pooper that won't losen up and have a beer OR come out and have a coffee & biscuit. And they are right in a way, but YOU know what is best for YOUR own health and to get YOU where YOU want to be. So why do you care what THEY say? It's not that they are not being supportive, it's just that they probably don't care as it doesn't affect them!

    I NEVER comment on anyones weight loss. Because I figure that it's inappropriate to comment on weight gain, which is also a lifestyle choice. So what ,you've lost weight because you woke up to yourself and realised what's in YOUR BEST Interests? And now you want a pat on the back?

    I have yo-yo'd through the years (to my own detriment) and respect those that are able to consistantly sustain a healthy balance.

    Do you like to hear about your co-workers carry on about how they are potty training their 2yo? Or hear the lady that sits next to you whine about how pathetic the hens night her maid of honour organised was? Or even worse... once she avalanches into her wedding saga? Or how the coffee bloke is going home to yet again beat his all time record in some dorky online game? Or how sick your neighbours dog is (because it's owner is dumb enough to feed it cat food)? NO!! No one wants to hear about this, just like they don't want to hear you carry on about your calories!

    I applaud everyone for taking the steps required to achieve their goals! I wish you all the very best in continuing your efforts.

    Amen.
  • aliciar3
    aliciar3 Posts: 39
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    My favourite is when people that are skinner than you tell you you're getting too skinny... haha I'm never quite sure how to respond to that :)

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