WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR NOVEMBER 2023
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Sigh, I am awake at 1 am. I just put the Christmas Tree up. Sad without my husband. I could stay up and do more tasks but tomorrow would be ruined. I believe I will sleep in the recliner and put on a meditation book to fall asleep by. Tomorrow at 2 a well liked store owner in town is opening a dessert store and having a ribbon cutting. I hope to make this with a friend. I also hope to find a good Friday deal and make a purchase!
Best,
Rosemarie from Georgia12 -
HUGS to you, Rosemarie. You are perfectly entitled to feel sad. Have you tried journalling? Or writing your husband a letter? And it's OK to cry while you are doing it.
Sending love across the ocean.
Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx7 -
Snowflake1968 wrote: »Debbie - I wish your DH could step away from seeing his abusive mother. It’s not healthy for any of you. I’m sorry your holiday was ruined.
I don’t know where the time is going! I have only 3 classes left of ceramics before Christmas. I need to get my SIL’s gift started and finished!
I spend all day and evening painting. Tomorrow will be the same I think.
I have a quiz tomorrow in class. I have decided to let the college know how much time our instructor is missing. Last week and this week he missed 2 days each.
I’m off to bed
Tracey in Edmonton
LOVE your creations- sooo cute
As for dh, he can't totally step away from his mother because he is the only one to take care of- no other family left. She is 87 I think. Doesn't read/write English well enough to handle bills, doesn't drive, etc.
When she fell a year and a half ago, she truly did his help with everything. She has recovered pretty fully so doesn't need him there twice a day but got used to it and still wants it/demands it. If he doesn't they fight. I don't understand it- He won't stand up to her.
Sadly, I can't remember a holiday in years that he/she didn't ruin.
I missed so many holidays over the years with my family because she expected us there for every one. Christmas was the one a year I put my foot down and made sure I was with my parents.
Time to get to bed.
Debbie
Napa Valley Ca.
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☘️0
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Debbie- you only have one life to live..why be miserable..
Your son is grown..
It just seems like the only time you have to enjoy is when you visit your mom.why stay with someone who treats you so unhealthy.?im sorry for being so blunt..but these ladies saw me through a marriage to someone who treated me the same way.and when I found out he was cheating I filed for divorce. Your husband might not be doing that but he doesn't show you any respect and neither does his mother.. stand up for up for yourself girlfriend!! We all want to see you enjoy your life.Tommorow isn't promised.
Ok off my soapbox.. and sorry if I overstepped my bounds and hurt your feelings that was not my intention.7 -
Friday
Beekeeping - checked the hive. We've got a small colony, but they're active.
Garden - hacked up another veggie bed with my mattock. It was thick with roots - grass roots, weed roots, and from the nearby hedge. Took me about 3 hours to clear it all. We'll need to add soil now.
I had to have a shower because I was covered from head to foot in dirt!
My husband planted the 2 beds I cleared last weekend with snowpeas and beans.
There are 3 more veggie beds in the back I'll work on next.
Meanwhile, the strawberries and raspberries are coming along, the lemons will need to be picked soon, the apples and pears are developing, and I think we'll need to dig up potatoes in the next couple weeks.
Cycling - drove out to a nearby town and back on part of the route the cyclists will use on the event next weekend. Route checking to make sure the roads are OK. We stopped in the town to cycle a bit. It's really pretty out there.
Stopped for dinner on the way home.
Machka in Oz
6 -
Was awake at 4 am because I passed out at 8 pm, but have the laundry in the dryer..so so far so good..im sure I'll need a nap later but thats ok.3
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My Thanksgiving. We draw numbers to see who sits at what table to mix things up. Somehow most of the kids ended up at the big table-lol!
My oldest and I
Too much food! Kids played well together. Lots of visiting. Got rest of lights up and the blow ups. Since I clean as I go, cleanup was fairly easy. Put some pie in freezer for later. Next year will do one pie each, no cobbler, small cranberry salad, and turkey breast only (not whole bird). Watched its a wonderful life before bed. Never heard from my other grands yesterday- I did find out from my nephew's wife that they both got their learner's permits in October. I seriously don't know what is up with them. I am disappointed 😞. You give and give.....and never expect to be discarded. In spite of them, I really had a great day yesterday.
Machka i noticed the pricing thing at businesses going out of business. Marking up prices to do deep discounts. So sad.
Tracey I love your crafts. I love buying homemade items.
Debbie Hugs. I hope the show goes well.
My table is always open to any who want to join!
It is interesting to be able to see changes in attitudes just through our sharing.
Hugs to all as we head into the hardest time of year for lots of us.
Thankful you are all here for us!
Time to get ready for work.
Much love,
Kylia in Ohio3 -
grandmallie wrote: »Debbie- you only have one life to live..why be miserable..
Your son is grown..
It just seems like the only time you have to enjoy is when you visit your mom.why stay with someone who treats you so unhealthy.?im sorry for being so blunt..but these ladies saw me through a marriage to someone who treated me the same way.and when I found out he was cheating I filed for divorce. Your husband might not be doing that but he doesn't show you any respect and neither does his mother.. stand up for up for yourself girlfriend!! We all want to see you enjoy your life.Tommorow isn't promised.
Ok off my soapbox.. and sorry if I overstepped my bounds and hurt your feelings that was not my intention.
Allie, No one is better qualified than you to make that observation. Others who had lived it, shared with you and gave you the courage to make a change. You can help others by sharing your experience.
Barbie5 -
Snowflake1968 wrote: »Lisa - I just had to let you know I thought about you immediately.
Tracey: I love that! That is pretty much a candid picture of me last night. Even if I give her the stink eye, Egg just pushes her way onto my lap. I washed Tyler's afghan before I boxed it up, and hopefully got rid of the majority of her contribution to the present. Started another one to use up some of the ones in my project boxes that were left over. I'll have to look around for something like a Project Linus for the kids in need.3 -
Allie - Ditto what Barbie said - you have the experience to say it, and more love in your heart to give the gift of that experience.
Rosemarie - My heart goes out to you, and I hope you can feel us all surrounding you with loving arms.
Rebecca and Heather - From an inveterate conflict avoider, my own method when someone decides to throw a "You should, or "You ought to..." my way about how I'm living my life gets in return a "Huh!" and a change of subject. It doesn't bother me to change the subject a dozen times, and I don't feel I have to change their minds, I just don't address it at all and move on. Even my sister, who can get pretty... well, let's charitably call it "focused," eventually gets the hint and we move on. What always gets me tickled is when they decide how I actually feel about certain subjects, especially religion or politics. More than once, in subsequent conversations, they'll say, "Well, I know you think that... " and spout some utter nonsense. So they get a "Huh!" and a change of subject again. People fascinate me.
Kylia - Your gathering reminded me irresistibly of holidays at my mother's house, all the extended family that could make it gathered up in one place. I'm sorry the grands didn't call.
Tracey - I just love the pieces you're making! I think of you often, too... partially because I am also open about many things that others are uncomfortable with. I find that when I am, I can stay healthier. It's when I let things fester inside that I start getting unhappy. As others have said, "You're only as sick as your secrets." I don't do secrets anymore. Does the world need to know? Probably not, but I also don't think the world cares much...
More in a minute...
Love,
Lisa
7 -
cityjaneLondon wrote: »Rebecca - When someone (especially DH) tries to tell me my reaction/opinion is wrong, I just lean forward and say it very loudly again. He doesn't like it, but it shuts him up.
'I happen to like/feel ......' ....very loudly and determinedly. Practice it in the mirror. You are you. Just up the volume until they get the message.
Then you can say, 'That is my opinion. Can we change the subject '.
People rarely try to tell me how to live my life, but John occasionally disagrees with me in a way that triggers me. So I just speak much louder. The huff he gets into is his problem. He always gets over it.
Nobody tells me how to live my life. Occasionally P, my difficult friend tries to explain something to me, but I use the same technique. Leaning forward is good. I can see my other friends, G and B, do a slight smile and wince a bit. P gets over it too.
Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx
I opt for a quiet approach.
I don't raise my voice unless someone is talking over me ... usually someone in customer service who is on the other end of the phone. Or unless I am angry.
People don't usually tell me that my reaction/opinion is wrong. That very rarely happens.
But on the rare occasion when it does happen, I do what a friend of mine taught me many years ago.
I nod, look like I'm paying attention and taking it in, and enthusiastically say, "I hear you."
For me (and my friend), "I hear you" means, I acknowledge your opinion and acknowledge the fact that you want to be heard. But I will disregard everything you've just said and will forget about it all within the next 5 minutes.
I've expanded on "I hear you" over the years.
Sometimes I enthusiastically say, "Now there's an idea!" ... an idea I am going to disregard immediately.
Or "Well now, that's a thought" ... not a brilliant thought, and not a thought I'm going to give another thought about, but it is indeed a thought.
Or "That's something to think about" ... when I'm laughing about it with someone else who understands me better.
I think only once or twice I've broken out the "you do you and I'll do me".
People often just want to be acknowledged for their so-called bright and possibly well-meaning ideas. My method accomplishes that. I acknowledge. Then I move on. Minutes later, I couldn't tell you what their idea was because I wasn't really listening to begin with and it didn't matter to me.
Machka in Oz
6 -
Happy Friday, my chickens,
I actually ran across something worth buying at the right time yesterday online... we had a sheet get torn this week, and Walmart has 1000-thread-count cotton sheet sets on sale for $25. They're normally around $60, and I was able to get one bought and shipped in tomorrow. I seldom get anywhere near the stores on Black Friday, so I was pleased to get that.
The market is holding its breath on how much people are going to buy this Black Friday and is predicting that it's going to be low this year because people are in savings mode. I look at the published sales but almost never buy. They're almost never on things we need! Dropping a $600 vacuum cleaner to $499 is not a sale that interests me.
That said, I will be headed into town to Sam's Club in about a half hour--and it's a pickup so I don't have to go in the store. I can get Corey's coffee for less than 25 cents a cup for his super dark roast Keurig pods there, cheaper than anywhere else, and I almost let him run out... slipped my mind in the runup to the holiday. So I added in a few of the things we only buy there that we were getting low on, plus I will fill up the Kicks and scamper right back home again.
Our Thanksgiving day was lovely and peaceful. The kids know we don't care too much about holidays, and I talked to our son on Tuesday and our daughter on Wednesday so no phone calls yesterday at all. We walked around the yard a bit when the sun was out in the afternoon, and Corey made amazing fajitas for dinner. Other than that, he read a couple of books, and I crocheted and watched TV. The good thing about only subscribing to Netflix for a month once a year is that there are shows we hadn't seen, like Jim Gaffigan, the comedian. We also had a long conversation about our growing-up years, and how we ended up together... I moved in with him 15 years ago this month and married him the following June.
Well, time to put on clean underwear, so my mother's voice in my head will be satisfied... Happy holiday weekend to those of us in the States, hope it's a good weekend for everyone.
Love y'all,
Lisa in AR6 -
Tracey - just when I think you can't come up with anything cuter for that craft fair, here you show those adorable tic-tac-toe boards. I don't blame you for wanting to call the college about the missing instructor. I wonder if they already know and if so, what they intend to do about it? Glad to you hear you have a stash of incandescent light bulbs. They can't hurt. I scoured all the stores a while back for 40 watt, and ended up buying some from Amazon and they are expensive.
Lisa - your partially finished sun room would make a good "blind" lol. Sounds like it's getting there.
Rori - I loved that picture of those two kids sharing a hug.
Rosemarie - so glad you could get away to the beach with your son and his wife. Hope you caught up on your sleep and can make it to the dessert store opening and find yourself a black Friday bargain!
Sometimes I make a ramen noodle type dish with already cooked chicken - I use Annie Chun's hokkein noodles I find at Walmart, they are higher protein than ramen. Cook according to directions, then drain. I throw them in a hot skillet where I've sauteed a little chopped cabbage or other veggies in coconut and/or peanut oil with a dash of sesame oil and add a little of the sauce that came with the noodles. Stir in a bit of the diced chicken and voila - a couple servings of my own version of lo mein. Sometimes I go for the spicy, sometimes teriyaki, sometimes Pad Thai.
Debbie - Have a great time at the toy show in San Francisco. I'm glad to hear you and your DH will be going.
I think you are distressed right now because of your DH, his moods, his mother. But I also think you have many things in your life that bring you joy. Your kitties. Your son. Your mom. Your walks and classes. The treats you make for your church and are able to share. Some things take time to fix and get fixed despite our effort to fix them if that makes any sense. Keep rockin' your joy wherever you find it!
Thanksgiving meal this afternoon: I need to get my act in gear this morning and prepare the caponata. The plan is to take a small dish (and it will be small since I only bought one eggplant and one red pepper) to serve as a room temperature relish. Or maybe I'll keep it here and make some date & walnut squares with a shortbread crust. Or maybe I'll make both.
Sweatshirts & Black Friday: I made a black Friday purchase yesterday. Earlier in the week I found a nice looking hooded sweatshirt on Amazon and it arrived and I love it. Something about that hood keeps the back of my neck keeps me warm and doesn't give me "hat hair". Rosie doesn't comment but it bugs me!
Anyhow, I was going to buy another one and they were having a black Friday special yesterday so I ordered two more.
I did a major closet/dresser cleanout of more of DH's clothing, I think I mentioned. Many Tshirts and sweatshirts, a few I kept back to wear around the house and gardening. I have a pile for the thrift shop of extra large ones that he used to wear. And some pants with 36" waists. He was so thin in his final years, it was hard for me to remember him ever being a bigger guy and wearing these clothes.
Make-up: Because of my rosacea and occasional blushing/flushing, the best thing I found is Clinique's Almost Powder brush on make-up. Takes three seconds for a very light dusting on my nose, cheeks and chin. Even my neck. Blends in with my natural skin color. I often forget to apply it but will remember today. Warm houses and certain foods can make me "fire up" lol. The Clinique was expensive but a compact lasted me for years and didn't have any ingredients that disagreed with my skin.
Time to get things done around here. Make it a wonderful day!
Lanette
SW WA State where it's 26F right now.7 -
Good morning ladies!
Machka so happy about new bees! Congratulations!
I crashed early last night, got up at four, curled up in an armchair at six, and here I am upright again. Enjoying my green tea with honey. Magical elixir.
My parents are up and sleeping on the couch. Busy day ahead. My mom has her first physical therapy visit, my dad has a lunch date at a restaurant, and I have a lunch guest bringing takeout. Tomorrow will be the rest day for us.
Have a lovely day my friends!
Annie in Delaware7 -
4914910
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Decluttered a drawer under the TV today. Threw out lots of the kids' homemade cards they've given us over the years and kept a few for memories. Found chargers for our old cameras, and a thing I had no idea what it was! Turns out it is a plate to fix the TV to the wall. Going in the bin. Our tv in the front room is on the wall, but not this one. I have two more of those drawers to do.
I also moved the cheese out of the fridge drawer and put it in a separate box. Then I washed out the drawer.
Both of those little jobs have been nagging at me for a while. I'm following online advice of tackling one small thing at a time.
And it's catching! John has thrown away another sweater! Hooray! And he is currently sorting out his sock drawer, and a stash he has in the wardrobe. He bought some new thicker socks, so needed more space. I'm so glad he is doing that. He has far more clothes than I have, but is gradually whittling them down. He donated a few shirts some weeks ago. When I first met him I couldn't believe how many clothes he had! And stock cubes!
I have a phone call with L at 4 today. Twice I've texted her for a call,and once she was busy and another time didn't reply. I decided not to get upset because next month is 2 years since her partner dropped dead in front of her. He used to love Christmas and always spent time decorating, so I know it's a painful time of year. Anyway, when I sent her a flower photo and an enquiry as to how she was, she responded by suggesting the time for a chat. When I used to get depressed, years ago, I used to avoid the phone, so I am sympathetic.
After that I will be putting some pork and fennel meatballs in the oven and having them with tomato sauce with peas, macaroni, and asparagus. Parmesan. John has picked out a bottle of Pinot Noir that his younger daughter gave us for our birthdays.
Something else that is catching.... His elder daughter emailed about her birthday present and said that none of the family are doing Christmas presents this year, even though they are visiting her in France. I think the trend is picking up speed!
I certainly won't be buying anything for Black Friday, because I haven't any money. Nor do I need anything. Hooray!
Edie and Bea want roller skates for Christmas. It has to be a particular kind, so Edie is going to explain it all to us when she comes over for art tomorrow! Max is getting a science book from 'Johnny' and cash. They love reading science books together. Edie is going to teach me how to paint on canvas with acrylics.
Love to all, Heather UK xxxxxxxx7 -
dlfk202000 wrote: »Snowflake1968 wrote: »Debbie - I wish your DH could step away from seeing his abusive mother. It’s not healthy for any of you. I’m sorry your holiday was ruined.
I don’t know where the time is going! I have only 3 classes left of ceramics before Christmas. I need to get my SIL’s gift started and finished!
I spend all day and evening painting. Tomorrow will be the same I think.
I have a quiz tomorrow in class. I have decided to let the college know how much time our instructor is missing. Last week and this week he missed 2 days each.
I’m off to bed
Tracey in Edmonton
LOVE your creations- sooo cute
As for dh, he can't totally step away from his mother because he is the only one to take care of- no other family left. She is 87 I think. Doesn't read/write English well enough to handle bills, doesn't drive, etc.
When she fell a year and a half ago, she truly did his help with everything. She has recovered pretty fully so doesn't need him there twice a day but got used to it and still wants it/demands it. If he doesn't they fight. I don't understand it- He won't stand up to her.
Sadly, I can't remember a holiday in years that he/she didn't ruin.
I missed so many holidays over the years with my family because she expected us there for every one. Christmas was the one a year I put my foot down and made sure I was with my parents.
Time to get to bed.
Debbie
Napa Valley Ca.
Isn’t his not standing up to her the same thing as you not standing up to him? A pattern that has been long established and he isn’t willing to change it?
Okie in the TX Hill Country7 -
I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving yesterday. I done really well with not eating too much. Just a spoonful of my favorites including chicken and dumplings. Yum! Today is weigh in day for me and I’m down 2 more pounds. That makes 31 pounds lost.
On a different note, we changed dates for our vacation. Instead of leaving Sunday, we won’t be going til Wednesday and staying till Friday. We have a popping sound every now and then in the front left wheel so my husband is going to have it checked out to see what’s causing it so him and his dad can fix it. I definitely don’t want to be 2 hours away and have the car break down on us.
We’ve also decided to stay in Gatlinburg, Tn instead of Pigeon Forge. Who knows, we may even drive over to Cherokee and go to Harrahs Casino. 😊
I hope everyone has a great weekend! I think I’ll go clean out my closet as someone suggested on here. I have some clothes that are too big for me now.
Gina8 -
2023 New Ways November
Word of the Year: appreciate—Today I appreciate cozy PJ’s..Meditation: daily. 18/30 (82%(started Feb)(94%,100%, 74%, 93%,100%,100%)20. Make a meal using a recipe or ingredient you haven’t used before. My DH does this all the time! He does all the cooking.
Recommended exercise: cardio 5 days 30 min 15/23
Strength all muscles 2 x 0/8 a week
Flexible (yoga, stretching) /8 a week 10 min
Balance 5 days 10 min /20
1. cut back drinking and limit to 2 days a week. 0/8–(300%,100%,100%,100%).
96 days SOBER!
2. Average 7,000 steps a week. 6521,6471,5327, (7,700,100%-9851,100%-9526,100%-9,559,100%, -8347,100%—7465,100%—6328,90%—6059,87%—6458,92%,-6847,98%)
3. Update budget every 2 weeks 1/2 (10,00%)
4. Contact close family every week (4x) 220/208—(733%,100% My mom called me for a change.)
5. Contact Donat and sibs once a month (8x)98/96 100%)
6. Weigh less last day of month compared to first until I reach 140. Start at 178.6,176,174.2,173.4,175.4,174,175.6,173.4, 172.2, 173.2 (600%)
7. Develop a journaling practice by aiming to journal at least 5 days a week. 5/23. (681%,100,100)
8. Read 12 books at least this year. 47/12
(100%)
9. Pay off credit card debt by January 2024 by making monthly payments to NDR/Reach Financial 11/12—(100%)
10. Continue building emergency fund at SLFCU (min$25 a month)$25+$25+$71+700+25+25 +25+25 (100%) I put the money in, but end up taking it out.
11. April started putting 4% on income in savings. 700,200,200, 107, 157,0,0,0
500%) This has stopped. Spending too much.
January Met —100%
February met —-90%
March met met —-90%
April met——86.36%
May met——-89%
June met—-99%
July met — met 81%
August met—met 99%
September met——99%
October met —90.7%
November met—
December met—
1. Make a list of new things you want to do this month. 1. Start Christmas shopping, 2. Work on my happiness, 3. Walk the mall at least once. 4. Read a new book
2. Respond to a difficult situation in a different way. I will see what comes up, but the daily readings I do have helped a lot already! Did this!
3. Get outside and observe the changes in nature around you..Supposed to be in the low 80’s (f) here today and the week to come so will have plenty of time to do this. Didn’t do this today, sick.
4. Sign up to join a new course, activity, or online community. I’ll have to look around for this. Thinking about something to do with MCC. I joined 2 new groups on FB.
5. Change your normal routine today and notice how you feel. Will do!
6. Try out a new way of being physically active. I will have to think about this. Maybe do a YouTube video. Did not do this.
7. Be creative. Cook, draw, write, paint, make or inspire. I will Zendoodle. I tried out my DH’s suggestion for mirror letters.
8. Plan a new idea or activity you want to try out this year. I have a water color set. I will experiment with that.
9. When you feel you can’t do something, add the word ‘yet’. I need to remember this.
10. Be curious, learn about a new topic or an inspiring idea. I learned about Alonon and downloaded their app and read through it.
11. Choose a different route and see what you notice on the way. I did this on my walk today.
12. Find out something new about someone you care about. Research time!
13. Do something playful outdoors - walk, run, explore, relax. Took a walk.
14. Find a new way to help or support a cause you care about. Have to think about this.
15. Build on new ideas by thinking “yes, and what if…” I will remember this!
16. Look at life at someone else’s eyes and see their perspective. According to my therapist, this is called empathy. I do this but not enough. Will try to do better.
17. Try a new way to practice self-care and be kind to yourself. Staying in bed and resting today.
18. Connect with someone from a different generation. I do this most days at the park.
19. Broaden your perspective: read a different paper, magazine, or site. Will do!
21. Learn a new skill from a friend or share one of yours with them. Hmmmm [/spoiler]
22. Find a new way to tell someone you appreciate them. I will!
23. Set aside a time to pursue an activity with your love.
24. Share with a friend something useful you learned recently. I do this on MFP25. Use one of your strengths in a new and creative way.
26. Try out a different radio station or new TV show.
27. Join a friend doing a hobby and find out why they love it.
28. Discover your creative side. Design a friendly greeting card.
29. Enjoy new music today. Play, sing, dance or listen.
30. Look for new reasons to be hopeful, even in tough times.
RVRita in Roswell, NM ]
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