WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR APRIL 2024

Thank you Barbie!

Re posted from March...


M I hate to add cancer to the list. Shortness of breath was the first symptom for my DH.

Just had a delightful dinner with a choir member friend who invited me to join her family and friends. I made devil eggs to share. Sang in the morning, went to DH and son's grave after church, and then onto my friend's house.

Happy Easter to those who celebrate!

Heather My experience with DH funeral is a funeral service is often for the living...Many of the things I included in the service like that choice of music was for my healing. Sending those recipes from my Mother-in-law to her great niece was healing for me. The eulogy I gave about DH was healing for me. In many ways it was my own funeral as much as it was to honor him. In planning the eulogy it became more and more apparent how much DH loved our two boys and how much he did with his own life!...A gift you could give your family is let them say goodbye to your earthly self in what ever works for them with your blessing!

Right now I am reading a book by the medium Rebecca Rosen What the Dead Have Taught Me...Biggest take away is to approach life with an open heart like Barbara says and to be open to the messages are loved ones want us to hear to help make our life and those around us better. It is another book that reminds me it is not me job to fix things sometimes it is better to Let it Be...there will always be a to do list being present for those you love trumps the to do list, and trust that your life plan will unfold in the way it needs to and be grateful for the surprises big and small.

I talked to a friend's DH at church today whose daughter has struggled with mental health issues. She is doing so much better. I told him in the family picture I saw on Facebook I didn't recognize her because of how much her contenance has changed. He told me she is doing the work and going outside the box to help herself find the answers that work for her. He told me of how they are trying harder to not involve the police if they need to get someone to the hospital. I told him I remember my DS son today because I believe after what happened to him he is part of the reason for change. One thing that troubled our son is he felt he had no purpose. I think he sees now part of his purpose was to help change how mental illness is treated. It still has a long way to go. Today of all days he reminds me of the importance of Faith. He never lost his despite how his illness affected him. He was wearing his cross when he passed.

Barbie-thanks for our fresh start-I certainly need one! Got on here before heading in to bed just to get the link ready.

Margaret-I think you added to the March comments. Glad you got to spend some time with friends today. I find your introspection/reflections very interesting and I enjoy considering them. Thank you for being willing to share them.

Didn't get all of the ironing done-but there is tomorrow night-and I am ready for work.

Take care all,

Ginny in Ohio

Ready for a change! No better time to re-start than April fools day! I do admit I've been warming up to this for a few days. I've even drafted a plan for next week!

Grandmapups in Michigan

Thanks Barbie

Well, yet another holiday meal ruined by dh because of his mother.

I have a nice meal all cooked-baked salmon, tempura shrimp, steamed asparagus, deviled eggs and macaroni salad. Chocolate cake for dessert.
Dh came back from his mom's ranting like usual because she is complaining about having to cook because he keeps bringing her food(that she asks for)that she refuses to eat, that I don't cook(she refuses to eat anything I cook-and will throw it in the trash if he brings it so he stopped bringing it) and she wants her friend to sign her up for Meals on Wheels. She thinks they will bring her exactly what she wants every day. She doesn't understand she doesn't get to pick what she gets each day.
So, instead of eating dinner, dh is in the garage working on a printer and I am online signing MIL up for MOW.
Lost my appetite.
Son is eating but his girlfriend isn't hungry.
https://www.facebook.com/photo/?fbid=10232982390764404&set=pcb.10232982391724428&__cft__[0]=AZVKmL6A6JUWUUtJjEQyYK96CyqsJ_uhcGl1iKl0IHTVpVqPS56oqP3C6wGrhIveIRhRsAlzlnE6c2Cq255A093FhOrN8A_eU8AxRoo1amQRvp1SYiQOYZJz_wl_RUwDspU&__tn__=*bH-R

Potluck at church was nice- no one even tried my mango pineapple cake- I should have put a label on it. then maybe someone would have tried it. I tried a piece and really liked it- super moist. Left over half there for anyone that wanted it after I left(I had to leave to come home to cook)

Going to make some tea and see what is on tv.

Hope you all had a nice weekend.

Debbie
Napa Valley,CA

edit:
on top of all that, my temporary crown came off. Permanent one wont be ready for just over a week. At least it is in the back and it isn't hurting.

Heather - you’re right. I just need to talk to Rodger. I think our biggest issue right now is his night shifts. We are spending too much time apart, we haven’t even slept at the same time in the same bed since October! Another few weeks and that should be done though.

Glad John had a nice visit with his daughter.

Yoga mats - I have a yoga mat, but have absolutely no room in my living room for it to be laid out without moving things out of the way. In the craft-room I’ll have room to spread my arms and not feel like I’m going to hit something. Also if I want to I can leave the mat laid out, without having to put it away each time.

Barbie - thank you for another month, it seems this year is going as fast as last year.

Margaret - A gift you could give your family is let them say goodbye to your earthly self in what ever works for them with your blessing!
I couldn’t agree more! I have had an Aunt and Uncle and a Father in Law pass away and had some strict instructions on no service. This caused much anger, fighting and bickering in both families, and I truly believe it made it so much harder on the families left behind.
My dad told us we didn’t need to do anything, I told him that was unfair to us, that I thought that is what had torn my Aunt and Uncle’s family apart. I also told him a service was for us not him, all he had to do was lie there and be quiet. Thankfully my Dad had a great sense of humour and loved his family. We did what we wanted knowing we had his blessing.

The biggest hugs to you.

Debbie - I’m so sorry your meal was ruined.

I have cleaned everything now, I will just need to sweep and scrub on Thursday, and keep things picked up the rest of the week.
I’m so excited for her to arrive.

Off to bed.
Tracey in Edmonton.

Connections:
Hugging - I am not a hugger. If people do come at me looking like they are going to hug me, I'll usually insert an arm, and a handbag if I've got it, in between me and them and I'll try to duck out of the hug as quickly as possible. It almost bowled me over with surprise when my mother gave me 2 hugs when we visited!! I didn't even have time to get my arm up in between us! My mother isn't a hugger either so she sprung them on me!
My husband and I hug occasionally but he's not much of a hugger either so not hugging suits us.

In fact, I don't like people touching me at all, or getting into my space. One of the things I have really appreciated about the COVID situation is that people stopped touching me and my hair. Prior to COVID, various strangers felt it was OK to touch my hair (and comment how lovely it was). I didn't mind the comment, but get your grubby paws off me!

Touch is a form of connection I find intrusive and irritating and sometimes completely "icky" and panic-inducing. Stand too close to me, and there's a good chance I'll feel trapped ... heart rate up, breathing rate up, and I'll make a sudden move to get away.





Feelings - I'm not one to talk about my feelings. I actually have trouble defining feelings. Some say "love" is a feeling. It's not for me - I don't "feel" love (what would love feel like??). Love is a decision. And feeling connected? I can't identify the feeling known as "connected". I make connections but I don't feel connections.

But nevertheless, I don't often tell anyone when I am feeling something because why? What could someone else do if I said, "I felt hurt when I was overlooked for this project", "I felt sad when someone treated my husband badly because he didn't understand something, "I felt afraid ...", "I felt frustrated ... ", "I felt overwhelmed ..." I could say that to people and have them look uncomfortable and say, "Oh, OK" and walk away. It's not like they can or want to do anything to help. So I don't often bother people with my feelings.


Hair:
@Snowflake1968 ... with job interviews etc. happening, I prefer to look relatively young too. I suspect most people can guess my age or approximately my age, but I prefer to give the impression that I'm still young enough to learn things and be somewhat energetic.

I think my hair is a medium ash brown based on distant memories. I started using tea, lemon juice and henna when I was about 16 and it has been coloured something ranging from blonde to black and all shades of red, often all at once, since then.

But now it's dark brown, a medium ash brown and blonde ... and I'll see how obvious my greys look when my hair grows out.


Turbinates:
I wondered if you meant turbinates.

When I had my deviated septum surgery, I had to have my turbinates trimmed or reduced or whatever they do to them. Not only was the deviation so bad it was partially blocking my airways, and not only did I have a bone spur also partially blocking my airway, but my turbinates were badly swollen so that I was essentially breathing with one partially blocked nostril.


Dental:
I am washing my mouth with an antibacterial mouthwash two or three times a day.

As I don't have any antibiotics here this weekend, I looked up natural antibiotics from a couple of my trusted sites and found that I have access to: honey, garlic and ginger which I have been using.
https://www.healthline.com/health/natural-antibiotics#honey
https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/321108

My next appointment is tomorrow where my tooth will be prepped for the new crown. I'll ask her about infection and see if she'll give me a short course of antibiotics.

Here's a feeling for you all: I feel nervous about tomorrow's appointment because I do not yet know what this new dentist will be like when it comes to actual dental work. I also feel uncertain about what method of transportation I will use to get back home. Oh well ... it will be what it will be.


Recent colouring:


With more here: https://www.flickr.com/photos/machka-bb/


Machka in Oz

It's been lovely over here with the kids. They are all on fine form. I brought over some very basic art brushes and pens and we all sat down to have a bit of fun. Hope you enjoy them, Lanette! Max is on his phone. His voice is breaking.
First mine, as a birthday card.

Then Bea

Then Edie

Then John


Now they are upstairs decluttering the ģirls' rooms with John. I explained the concept of 'body doubling ' to them.

I will put the lasagne in the oven when my son phones from the top of a hill somewhere in Sussex.

Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx

cityjaneLondon wrote: »

Then Edie


Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx

Edie has done well there drawing the bicycle, but give her this tip ... it was like a light came on for me.


Draw an M.
But stretch it out.
Then add the top bar, and all the rest of the bits and pieces.





Machka in Oz